₦airaland Forum

I've been reading news on nairaland.com since the year 2011. And I must say that my day is never complete if I do not visit nairaland. I know you do not believe in God but I'm fucking grateful to God for giving you the wisdom to create nairaland.
Nairaland has been a blessing to me and my family. Once again, thanks. I won't say God bless you because of your belief. Moreover, you're more than blessed because right now, nairaland is the fifth most visited website in Nigeria.
Recently, I've been inundated with the story of you and your former employee, Sir Jarus on nairaland.
It was alleged that your tweet on ''legalized adultery'' was subtly directed at him. I believe the tweet was meant for him. But whether you admit it or not, ain't any of my fucking business.
But one thing is for sure, you've always been an advocate for monogamy. I saw your past tweets speaking against polygamy and I fucking admire you for that. I saw the picture of your past tweets speaking against polygamy, on your thread where you asked nairalanders to ask you a question regarding you and Sir Jarus. So this is no hypocrisy from you. And this is not you trying to get back at your enemy.
You did the right thing by not deleting the tweet. If you had deleted that tweet, you'd have made only one man (and his followers] happy at the expense of millions of less privileged domestic violence victims who have no one to stand up for them. Big ups to you, man.

The truth is that those who have no idea of how destructive polygamy is will always support it. I'm fucking grateful to God that I'm not a product of polygamy. But, it's a pity that I have enough experience to know how deadly and disastrous it is.
As a man, one wife is enough responsibility not to talk of adding more to it. As a man, when you decide to engage in polygamy, it only means three things: You do not love your life/peace of mind, you do not love your wife. And most importantly, you do not love your kids neither do you have the best intentions for them.
The Yorubas have a saying, ''oosa je n pe meji obinrin o si''. It means only few women would gladly support/accept their husband having a second or more wife/wives. When you get a second wife, you'd have to divide everything you have into two or more than than that depending on how many wives/kids you have: your money, time, energy, resources etc. And no matter how much you try, you'll never please everyone. And in most cases, it's the first wife and her kids that bear the brunt of your foolish actions the most.
Imagine the second wife pitting you against your first wife and kids. Imagine her doing everything possible to make sure her kids are more successful [& happy and well taken care of] than that of the first wife. And she would go the extra mile to achieve this. There's nothing wrong with the kids of the second wife getting better than that of the first wife. But it's the way some of this ''so called second wifes'' go about with.
If you as a man is tired of your wife, divorce her and let her go her way. And if kids are involved, make sure you continue to take care of your kids. Do not abandon them because you're no longer married to their mum. But if your wife proves stubborn and doesn't want to divorce you, use every legal means to divorce her. Do not raise your hand on her. Do not intimidate or threaten her. And do not use your kids as a way to ''discipline'' her or have your way.
Those who are saying ''Sir Jarus is a muslim and his wife knew what she was getting herself into'' are wrong. If all muslim women decide to force their husband into court marriage, I'm quite sure many of them wouldn't be married. And that also means many of you men would also die a bachelor. Perhaps you expect this women not to get married because of the fear of their husband getting a second wife later in future. Tell me, what about christian men who also engage in polygamy even though their religion doesn't permit it. So, this has nothing to do with religion. So you can't blame any woman for marrying a muslim man. A responsible man will always put the interest/happiness of his wife and kids above his ''five minutes of pleasure'' or whatever reason he decides to get a second wife.

Hypocritical men who say women sees marriage as an achievement. They say women are not complete without marriage. They say women are a liability. Why on earth are you trying so hard to add a second ''liability'' to your list of liabilities.
Yes, the woman too did wrong by trying to use a fetish way to prevent her randy husband from having his way. As a bonafide Yoruba man, I know some of this voodoo always have disastrous repercussions later in the future. But I do not blame her for trying to use ''aajo (juju}'' to put a leash on his dick. And don't also forget that he also disrespects this woman by talking to this prospective ''second wife'' at ungodly hours without caring about his first wife's emotion.
One thing about this men, is that the moment they meet a girl who's ready to offer them what their first wife can't, they begin to act like teenagers in love. They now begin to think with their dick and not their brain.
Unless you are in her shoes, you don't know how painful it is to see your dearest husband and the father of your kids now trying to share his affection and love with some other woman [and possibly kids too).
You might say what you are about to read now is wrong. But Bleep it, who cares? I blame the woman for getting caught. I mean if she was successful, by now Sir Jarus would be writing love poems for her on Twitter. He would say she's the most beautiful woman on earth. He would even call her the virtuous woman in the book of Proverbs in the Holy Bible. He no go know sey na ''vegetable'' dey work. He for dey sing ''ekuro lalabaku ewa, b'ojo n ro, k'orun ran, esu o ni Le ya wa titi laelae''. And truly, those kind of juju, na beans and palm kernel dem dey always use. We'd all think he's feeling nostalgic because of Davido and Chioma's recent wedding. He wouldn't even remember that he has a dick not to talk of getting a second wife.
Although I'm a born again christian {lori iro}, I wholeheartedly support women who try to use the ways of our forefathers to correct their foolish and ungrateful husbands, you know, lead them on the right path. But then, everything should be done in moderation. And she must also remember that he's the father of her kids. And everyone would surely reap whatever he or she sowed.

As far as I'm concerned, if your wife is not causing you or your kids or your other loved ones pain; agony and sadness {intentionally}, then you do not have a justified reason to divorce her. A woman who was with you when you were a nobody; now that you've ''arrived'', that's when you realized that she's no longer beautiful like before. Now, you feel she's no longer presentable to your family, friends, foes and associates. The mother of your lovely kids. The woman who stood with you through thick and thin. The woman who spent the best years of her life supporting you.
Rather than make her a better person, you decide to bring in a strange woman to compete with her in a home you both laboriously built together. I'm sorry for writing this neither do I intend to reopen closed injuries. But hasn't some men learnt their lesson after that of Yul? This is the same way him too was treading the destructive path obstinately even though everyone tried to warn him. Who paid for it at the end of the day, himself, {painfully] his first wife and kid(s). Ki Olorun ma fi ikan gba ikan lowo wa, Amin.
And for those saying it's husband and wife matter, you {Seun) shouldn't interfere. They all got it wrong. You weren't standing up for just only the wife of Sir Jarus. You actually stood up for every victims of domestic violence.
And do not feel bad when people say ''see the woman you're fighting for, has made up with her husband. You'd now be their topic of pillow talk''. That shouldn't discourage you from saying the truth at all times. And never you stop using your voice or platform to stand up for the less privileged.
You and I know how the marriage system in Nigeria works. Even if it's the man that's at fault, the society would still find a way to blame the woman for it. Although she's the oppressed one, they'd still force her to apologize for her husband wrongdoing to her.
The patriarchal society we live in will always pick the man ahead of the woman. To make matters worse, the two major religion we pretend to practice in Nigeria is misogynistic. To the christians, a woman must submit to her husband. Submission in this context means doing everything he wants. And to the muslims, the wife is another one of his property which he can use whichever way he likes. It's a shame.
Well, it's a good thing that Christianity doesn't support polygamy unlike Islam. But then, that doesn't make it any better than Islam when it comes to husband and wife matters.
You see, at first, I thought you did the wrong thing by calling out your friend on the internet when you could have just criticize him privately. I actually thought you guys were best of friends. I mean that's what Sir Jarus made everyone believe. Now I know the truth.
Like you rightly said, Sir Jarus doesn't love you and neither does he have good intentions for you. He's actually guilty of everything he accuses you of. He said you're jealous of him. Nah, I believe he is the one who's jealous of you. He's jealous of you and your platform. He knows where ever his success story is being told, the name ''Seun Osewa & Nairaland'' will always come up. And this is what keeps him awake every fucking night.

He said he's richer than you. How wrong of him? I guess he's one of the people who calculates riches by money and assets. He also said he's more influential/popular than you. Well, too bad for him. All the years I've spent online {and on nairaland], I never knew him until this issue of domestic violence came up.
Believe me, if I do not know you, then you're a nobody. Hahaha, ain't tripping, I like to make myself happy. I mean I find it hard to believe that I do not know a man who claims to be popular than the founder of nairaland, a website that's been a blessing to millions of Nigerians, Africans and those in the diaspora too.
Lastly he tried to mock you by saying you have a mental disorder. That's all shades of wrong for someone who claims to be very brilliant, intelligent and widely travelled too. I know his likes tactics. He thought he could silence you by pulling this stunt on you. One thing I've come to know about human is that they are always quick to insult you, criticize you or pull you down for something they are guilty of.
When they try to play you for a fool and you refused to be fooled: they would start calling you ''fool, stupid, idiot, etc''. When they try to give you bad advice and you reject it: guess what, they would call you ''crazy, mad, retarded, etc''. When they do everything possible to pull you down and you keep going higher, they'll call you ''witch, wizard, fetish man/woman, etc''.
Although we humans are the most intelligent creature of God Almighty. Believe me, okay, you do not have to believe me. But I tell you one thing, we're also the most stupid creature of God. Even God repented after creating us. Sometimes we do things that even an animal would never do.
And for those who are always quick to mock people who suffer from one mental illness or the other; look inward, you aren't better than them. Just because a person suffers from mental illness doesn't mean he or she is mad. It doesn't make him or her inferior to you. It is true that mental illness has no cure but it can be treated. And its symptoms can be reduced to the barest minimum with the right medication and therapy.
It is stigmatization from people like Sir Jarus that makes people with mental illness not to seek for help or use their medications. They're ashamed of being called ''were, kolomental, skushi, etc''. At the end of the day, they end up making their illness worse.
For people suffering from mental illness, I'd like to say it's not something to be shameful of. As long as he or she uses his or her medication, the patient will be fine. Schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc can all be managed and treated.
The best part is that when the patient uses his or her medications regularly and goes for therapy regularly, sooner or later, you might not have to use them again. The only mental illness that can't be treated is disociative identity disorder [previously known as multiple personality disorder) and thankfully it's not common.
I won't pretend not to know that just like sexuality, mental illness is a controversial topic all around the world. And it affects everyone regardless of your race, nationality, religion, color, sexuality, educational background, social background, etc. From celebrities to the common man out there, people are always afraid and ashamed to discuss mental illness. They do not want to be shamed. They do not want to put themselves or family in a bad light. And this is unfortunately one of the many reasons why mental illness is yet to be accepted or given the exposure it deserves just like other illnessess.


It's even worse in a continent like Africa and a country like Nigeria where mental illness is still seen as a ''spiritual problem''. Many mentally disabled people we see out there would be living a meaningful life if only they could get the right treatment. My heart breaks, I mean it saddens me when I see people suffering out of their own ignorance or that of their loved ones.
I won't turn this into a religion matter. But I must say religion has done more harm than good to the human race. Sir Jarus is also using religion as an excuse for his philandering ways. I mean no disrespect sir.
I pray for no one to suffer from mental illness. But if it happens, the best one can do is to look for how to treat it. For someone like Sir Jarus who tried to mock you, what he does not know is that he might be next in line. Mind you, I do not wish him bad. Moreover, I'm a fake pastor so no cause for alarm. He [Sir Jarus] admitted to not having control over his temperament. In my years of researching mental illness, I've come to know that getting angry at the slightest provocation and not being able to control your anger is one of the earliest signs of mental illness. Although it's not everyone who has anger issues that ends up suffering from mental illness. Some would even say excessive anger on its own is a mental illness. But then, one should also learn to control their anger.
I also think mockery of mental illness is deeply rooted in our society. The Yorubas have a saying, '' were dun wo sugbon ko se bi lomo''. This means it's fun to watch a mentally disabled person display his stupidity (especially if he's not your relative}. But then, no parents prays to have one as a child. I believe this one of the many foolish sayings we Yorubas have to erase from our vocabularies.
He [Sir Jarus} also accused you of being envious of him, being richer than you and being influential than you. Well, I also think he might be paranoid. And paranoia is also another sign of mental illness especially schizophrenia. For those who are close to Sir Jarus, tell him to watch his mental health too. It is only a man who's mentally disturbed that would raise his hand up to beat a woman. Oju gba mi ti fun yin Sir.
I wonder why people are condemning him for beating his wife only and not his mockery of mental illness too. I guess in this part of the world, we make mockery of a lot of things especially mental health issues. We take a lot of things for granted. To crown it all, we no longer see words like ''weyrey, craze boy, mad man, etc'' as derogatory terms. We now see the words as affectionate terms. That's how low we've sunk.
I'm also ashamed of people who are blaming Sir Jarus for saying it out that he beat his wife. These are people who wouldn't feel remorse for doing something wrong. They only feel sober for getting caught. To be honest, that's the only good thing he did. And I guess he also admitted because he knew he would definitely get away with it. To him, what he did wasn't a crime or something unusual. In his apology, I also did not see anywhere he apologized to his wife. I might be wrong, perhaps he doesn't have to do that publicly. But if he could admit to beating her publicly, then he should also apologize to her publicly.
But then, who the Bleep am I to tell a grown ass man what to do or not to do. After all I'm not even his cup of tea. He doesn't even know if I fucking exist.
I read it in one of your tweets where you said he (Sir Jarus] would pretend to appreciate you. But his ulterior motive is to embarrass you by posting your less good-looking pictures. I believe he's like a child in a grown man's body. He definitely suffers from inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Regardless of everything he's achieved, he still feels incomplete. And that's the reason he does everything to make you feel bad/low just like him.

I read you, saying you admire him and you'd also like to be like him or learn one or few tricks from him. I hope you are being sarcastic about it because there's nothing admirable about a woman beater or a man who blows his own trumpet every now and then. Nothing admirable about a man who disses his so called ''best friend'' at every opportunity he gets.
A word of advice for you, Seun: Avoid anything that has to do with Sir Jarus whether he's right or wrong. Leave him to his fate.
Disregard all of these advice if you know that there's a possibility of you and him reconciling later in future.
And for those who might want to be tribalistic with this: I want you to know that I do not support Sir Jarus not because I hate his guts or dislike him. Not because I'm a ''Yoruba christian'' and not a ''Yoruba muslim'' like you guys always say. I do not hate muslim, on the contrary I love them all. How can I hate muslims when I have a muslim background.
And for those who like to say ''Yoruba muslim'', to them ''Yoruba muslim'' is a derogatory word. I want you to know that there's hardly a Yoruba family that do not have both christians and muslims members. In my own lovely case, my parents were born muslims. They only converted to christians when they became older. So I'd never insult anyone for being a ''Yoruba christian'' or a ''Yoruba muslim''. Thanks

I do not support domestic violence, polygamy and mockery of mental illness because it's completely wrong no matter the angle you look at it. I'd also like to admit that no one can force anyone especially an adult to do what he or she doesn't want to do. So if polygamy is your ''calling''. Go ahead, but know for sure that you won't bear the consequences alone. Both your immediate family and extended family would also bear the consequences with you. If your dick; no no, I mean your conscience is okay with that, then, ''jeun lo''.

Please, Seun, try to spend more time on nairaland than Twitter. Facebook wouldn't be what it is today if Mark was spending more time on Twitter or some other social networking site instead of Facebook.
You see Elon Musk, he's always visible on Twitter even though Twitter wasn't originally his brain child. But it's now his priority, unlike you. Spend some time with your fellow nairalanders on nairaland. Bleep it, I guess you have your reasons. Perhaps you think you can reach a wider audience by posting things on Twitter. You must know, charity begins at home.
The Yorubas would say ''ile la ti n ko eso lo s'ode.

Thanks for taking your time to read this. I apologize, I know I write too much nonsense. It's not my fault, blame boredom. God bless you all except Seun and hopefulandlord too. They do not need God's blessing. They have blessed themselves already.
And may Allah in HIS infinite mercy touch Sir Jarus' mind and make him do the right thing, Amen.
Sayonara.

BethelGilead:
Thanks for taking your time to read this. I apologize, I know I write too much nonsense. It's not my fault, blame boredom. God bless you all except Seun and hopefulandlord too. They do not need God's blessing. They have blessed themselves already.
And may Allah in HIS infinite mercy touch Sir Jarus' mind and make him do the right thing, Amen.
Sayonara.

A lengthy read I must say.

What you pointed out is basically true, polygamy has it’s disadvantages and even sometimes monogamy has it’s disadvantages.

For someone who believes in God for you I wonder why you would use the F word in describing your gratefulness to God, and same you still pointed out how someone doesn’t have regard for God….hmmm.


A man has a large heart and can love as many woman he so choose to love, it doesn’t mean the love for the first wife died. He is still having her as a second wife by the way(not to support polygamy).

There are men with wisdom who will keep their home and ensure balanced. Regardless of how you preach it many people will choose polygamy, best you could do is to outline disadvantages and also possible solutions for them to use. Talking about disadvantages and not providing solutions are simply mere talks and one sided discussion.

The life of a man is always troubled regardless of him marrying one wife or having two wives.

Best anybody can do is to stick to what works for them. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion just as you have bodily written.

BethelGilead:
Thanks for taking your time to read this. I apologize, I know I write too much nonsense. It's not my fault, blame boredom. God bless you all except Seun and hopefulandlord too. They do not need God's blessing. They have blessed themselves already.
And may Allah in HIS infinite mercy touch Sir Jarus' mind and make him do the right thing, Amen.
Sayonara.

Pure nonsense. You need to find a job to keep busy!

Only a jobless person can sit down and type this mega epistle. Do you really think anyone read this crap