₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
I am curious sha, is that you never did those chores as an adult or even as a teen?

That said, I find it interesting a Nigerian man is willing to split bills with his partner. Sha, know it that financially independent people are assertive and opinionated regardless of the gender. She will ask for rights in the relationship compared to someone who is not contributing financially. Money begets independence. On the other hand, wetin make you separate from your ex-wife? Hope it will not affect this relationship?

P.S. I see why modern women drag their feet towards getting married. I am curious why washing, cleaning and cooking are difficult for an adult male.

I don't see how this is an issue. She's a member of the family, she should have as much rights as her partner. Financial contributions or not. But then, I guess I have little idea about how many Nigerian families are run.

The only thing that should not be sacrificed under any condition is leadership. It belongs to the man!

Gerrard59:
I am curious sha, is that you never did those chores as an adult or even as a teen?

That said, I find it interesting a Nigerian man is willing to split bills with his partner. Sha, know it that financially independent people are assertive and opinionated regardless of the gender. She will ask for rights in the relationship compared to someone who is not contributing financially. Money begets independence. On the other hand, wetin make you separate from your ex-wife? Hope it will not affect this relationship?

P.S. I see why modern women drag their feet towards getting married. I am curious why washing, cleaning and cooking are difficult for an adult male.

Didn't you know that the average Nigerian man gets married so he can stop washing, cooking and cleaning?

Karleb:
I don't see how this is an issue. She's a member of the family, she should have as much rights as her partner. Financial contributions or not. But then, I guess I have little idea about how many Nigerian families are run.

The only thing that should not be sacrificed under any condition is leadership. It belongs to the man!

Unfortunately, modern women don't agree with that. They believe that because they contribute financially to the household, then both partners MUST be leaders. Rightfully in any organisation, whether it can work in a marriage setting is yet to be seen.

We4all:
Didn't you know that the average Nigerian man gets married so he can stop washing, cooking and cleaning?

You are right. I can understand if the man backslides on it while married because he makes the most amount of money. But as a single adult male finding it hard to do those chores is surprising. In this man's case, he wants the splitting of bills but is already tired of doing basic chores on his own.

Gerrard59:
Unfortunately, modern women don't agree with that. They believe that because they contribute financially to the household, then both partners MUST be leaders. Rightfully in any organisation, whether it can work in a marriage setting is yet to be seen.

Work is quite different from family.

Naturally, men are leaders and women gravitate naturally towards leaders and authority.

A man does not need to shout I am a leader before leading, as long as he is leading well, the woman will follow.

If a man does not lead his wife/family, another will. The opinion of the woman in this case does not matter. Sadly.

pocohantas:
1) How decent is a salary that it can't pay an annual rent of 250k?

2) You have been married before and you have kids. Kids who are still in touch with you and probably visit. They are also girls from your previous post. So it is important they see you in a good light. Not with numerous women. The next woman they should know you with should be a fiancee/wife. Not a live-in gf, not a babymama. You of all people should know the pains of a single parent home and should do well to avoid a situation that might lead to it again.


3) She is a virgin, she is a good girl, she is hardworking, she is submissive, she respects you, she is this and that. Yet you want to cohabit with the virgin you popped and subject her to intense cooking, cleaning and vetting before doing the needed.


4) She agreed to live with you because her hands are tied. Not because she would have voluntarily cohabited with you if she had the means to get herself a decent place. Not a good way to make a woman be with you. It is in fact worse than whatever it is you are trying to avoid in future.

Goodluck!

E go soon realize why her friends kicked am out. He want to adopt person wey go dey chop free food and free house? You be father Christmas?

bukatyne:
This is beyond 'giving' her body.

Except she doesn't have a good plan for herself, the OP is not a spec.

A man who thinks that N250k annual rent is 'on the high side' is broke. N250k rent in itself is cheap meaning an accommodation that isn't 'decent' or in the outskirts of town (except they are not in a capital city).

Why would a virgin be with a broke divorcee with kids? If he were young like her, we would say they are starting life together.

He is already second hand and he doesn't have the finance to make up for it? He doesn't have systems in place and is looking for someone to do chores and pay bills?

A red billboard for a single virgin (well, I am speaking for myself).

Which kind of broke girl can't afford 250k rent? The guy better throw away the girl make she go date agbero for street

Klass99:
I will comment on the parts of your narrative I find interesting.

1. I sincerely hope you plan to share house chores with her, to support her and lessen her burden. As you expect her to share bills with you, to support and lessen your burden. I doubt this though considering what you said in point 3.

2. I thought you logical gender people said marriage doesn't benefit men and women bring nothing to the table. Why are you looking to get married again, through the route of immoral cohabitation, when your first marriage didn't work out?

Your logical gender brothers will hype you to carry on with this warped logic, according to majority of them, immoral cohabitation is how a woman grows with a man. May they not have daughters who live out those words in their lifetime.

One woman said a while back that she cohabited with her man for 7 years and they were going to get married soon. Your brothers in logic hailed her with comments and over 300 likes on this forum. Try to make yours less than 7 years sha!

You see that thing you're looking for bah? That is, validation and a green light stamp to proceed, you have come to the right place for it. Just wait for your brothers. I have one question for you though, na so your mama and papa take marry?

You just waste space. No sense at all. The idiot no get sense. Why give the girl free accomodation? Na father Christmas?

Afodot0022:
Good day my lovely people, it always good to share life with you people here. Pls I need to ask, what is the advantage and disadvantage of living together with your girlfriend under the same roof. My girlfriend had an accommodations problem, her friend they stay together kick her out for no just reason, she wanted to get an apartment and the money she was ask to bring was quite much 250k, I convinced her to come stay with me and save that money for other things, initially she opposed but later agreed to come stay.
My reasons for her staying are there..
1... I want to get to know her better cos I believe when you live with someone in the same space, that's when you get to know them better, I was once married and have learnt a lot on how ladies pretend in dating but show their true color in marriage, atleast I want to know her well before making another serious commitment of marriage.
2... She works and earn a decent salary which I think will be an added advantage for me by her supporting by we both sharing bills together, it will lessen by burden. Though I haven't discussed this with her yet but hope to soon cos I can't let her depend solely one me while she works.
3.... Ever since I separated from my wife, it's not been easy living alone as a man, the cooking ,washing ,cleaning and loneliness has not been easy, so we living together will atleast help me in these area.
To be candid, the girl is a good girl and I was the one that disvirgin her, she is submissive and respect me, but you know you can really say of a person character until you live with them.

Now my question is to those that have been in this situation of living together with a girlfriend you are yet to marry, how did this affect the relationship afterwards. Pls share your experience be it negative or positive, I really want to learn from others to see if I can proceed on this or just abort mission by not allowing her to stay any longer. Do you think it make sense I share bills with her or I should should all financial responsibility even though am not capable of that now.. pls help me to navigate this scenario

Na you be the girl papa?

bukatyne:
This is beyond 'giving' her body.

Except she doesn't have a good plan for herself, the OP is not a spec.

A man who thinks that N250k annual rent is 'on the high side' is broke. N250k rent in itself is cheap meaning an accommodation that isn't 'decent' or in the outskirts of town (except they are not in a capital city).

Why would a virgin be with a broke divorcee with kids? If he were young like her, we would say they are starting life together.

He is already second hand and he doesn't have the finance to make up for it? He doesn't have systems in place and is looking for someone to do chores and pay bills?

A red billboard for a single virgin (well, I am speaking for myself).

Interesting...

The man who has his own place is broke, but the lady who 250k is too much for is rich abi? Rent of 250k is cheap.. Tell that to the lady that now has to squat with OP..

The OP is not a spec? To you abi to the lady?

The OP is broke? Is he the one that cannot afford 250k rent? Are you suggesting, because they are rubbing genitals, the man should take over her rent?

He has bad traits, sure. But, let's not bring that broke-shaming nonsense into a matter. When obviously, the "broke" person here is the lady.

Is it that you ladies no dey touch grass every once in a while? Is every bodies financial situation the same? Or are u the "my value is in my beauty" saida---what's her name self... type of woman?

I know it sounds enticing to say "second-hand value" but, that's not what the psychology studies say. Married men are hot cake. This i can confirm from my anecdotal experiences having worked at a hotel in the past.

Broke or not, the man is of a higher social status than the woman.

Karleb:
I don't see how this is an issue. She's a member of the family, she should have as much rights as her partner. Financial contributions or not. But then, I guess I have little idea about how many Nigerian families are run.

The only thing that should not be sacrificed under any condition is leadership. It belongs to the man!

What does it mean, leadership? I'm very curious.

kkins25:
What does it mean, leadership? I'm very curious.

It's a simple word with simple meaning.

Cowbell521:
E go soon realize why her friends kicked am out. He want to adopt person wey go dey chop free food and free house? You be father Christmas?

In her defense she seems to be a young girl. I would have expected her to retrace her steps to her parents house or any close relative. She didn't fall from the sky na.

OP on his part seems to have a problem attracting, meeting or keeping women who can meet him halfway. His ex-wife wasn't earning. The second she got a job, she started pushing to move away from home and issues amplified until divorce.

You would think OP has learned a lesson, but here he is, trying to trap a girl who has her back against the wall. Give that girl a good job and based on his past posts on her, he won't see her brakelight again. This relationship is fully sponsored by lack of options and parental guidance.

Male or female, you can't afford to be old and broke. It would affect your options.

Shout out to all the women here that said my mind. I dey read the thread I wan craze but all of you said everything in my head.

Karleb:
It's a simple word with simple meaning.

So, in what way will the man be "leading" the woman?

Sapasenator:
1. Honestly the dude might have other qualities that might have endeared him to her.

2. The vice president of the United State married a divorcee with two kids and till now does not have any child of her own.

3. 250k per annum in rent? That, I agree with you is on the low side and dude will certainly be struggling but again, perception is in the eye of the beholder.

4. Now coming to the subject of virginity, as a guy I must be sincere with you, Virginity is not on the top of the list of the qualities I am looking for in a woman even though some ladies think their virginity to be an asset.

5. It may be but I have other overriding qualities that must be present as well before I consider virginity so a lady should not think highly of herself if virginity alone is what she brings to the table.

1. Which are? Maybe good sex

2. To a woman who doesn't want or can't have kids, a divorced/widowed man with kids is PERFECT!

3. Toor! Maybe they are at a place where the premium is slightly above minimum wage. A man who thinks a salary that can't pay N250k annual rent is 'decent' must be a broke man.

4. This is personal to you and virginity is an asset. Not just the fact that she has not had sex but every other thing it represents.

5. While a virgin should think highly of herself, I agree with you that she should have other qualities to make a good wife.

Afodot0022:
Life will humble you soon so you realize what life is all about

Keep your wisdom to yourself sir and use it to improve your circumstances.

Gerrard59:
I saw the rent part but didn't want to question it because situations are different. He could be the richest dude in his environment. The bold is appropriate. He has to bring forth an additional feature to a comparable bachelor.

P.S. He did not mention children. But if he has any, bad deal for the girl. She loses bigly (apologies to Donald Trump).

Poco mentioned his kids.

So I assume he has other threads.

Even a divorced man without kids is still second hand.

bukatyne:
Poco mentioned his kids.

She loses in such a scenario. I would abort mission.

Even a divorced man without kids is still second hand.

Agreed. Only money can freshen the product.

kkins25:
Interesting...

1. The man who has his own place is broke, but the lady who 250k is too much for is rich abi? Rent of 250k is cheap.. Tell that to the lady that now has to squat with OP..

2. The OP is not a spec? To you abi to the lady?

3. The OP is broke? Is he the one that cannot afford 250k rent? Are you suggesting, because they are rubbing genitals, the man should take over her rent?

4. He has bad traits, sure. But, let's not bring that broke-shaming nonsense into a matter. When obviously, the "broke" person here is the lady.

5. Is it that you ladies no dey touch grass every once in a while? Is every bodies financial situation the same? Or are u the "my value is in my beauty" saida---what's her name self... type of woman?

6. I know it sounds enticing to say "second-hand value" but, that's not what the psychology studies say. Married men are hot cake. This i can confirm from my anecdotal experiences having worked at a hotel in the past.

7. Broke or not, the man is of a higher social status than the woman.

1. Never mentioned the lady is rich and the guy is broke because he thinks a salary that can't pay N250k rent per annum is 'decent'.

2. A broke divorced man with kids, a spec? Where? In the sexual dating market as with in life, there are times a stages for everything. A 26 Yr old broke guy is cute; a 30 Yr old broke man is upcoming; a 45yr old broke man is big trouble. A 20 Yr old uneducated, jobless girl is a baby girl; a 26 Yr old uneducated jobless girl is a red flag; a 35 Yr old uneducated jobless woman is a liability.

3. No 1 applies. And at no point did I say he should pay her rent. Like Poco said, the girl should go back to her relatives, other friends or get a shared facility.

4. I haven't broke shamed him either. It is like saying Trump is old. Am I 'age-shaming' him?

5. Who is Saida? The OP's focus should be to improve his circumstances financially and bringing up his kids.

6. Rich clean married men are hot cake. Except to women (especially my Yoruba sisters) who wants to relief themselves sexually.

7. In your dreams

Gerrard59:
She loses in such a scenario. I would abort mission.


Agreed. Only money can freshen the product.

@bold:

This cracked me up!

My gf did it with me in 2012. Then I was the king of pickers,most of the money went to tosetan rice and of cos fuel. I n3ver bugged her,steady knacks,like 3 times a day,when we 1st start to 2times a day,even on her period,God help her I'd I no smoke,na rock hard till day break..but las las I ran away,too much see finish,fights,lazy about,sleep,smoke,go class,on gen,dstv,sleep,smoke.i got tired.

pocohantas:
In her defense she seems to be a young girl. I would have expected her to retrace her steps to her parents house or any close relative. She didn't fall from the sky na.

OP on his part seems to have a problem attracting, meeting or keeping women who can meet him halfway. His ex-wife wasn't earning. The second she got a job, she started pushing to move away from home and issues amplified until divorce.

You would think OP has learned a lesson, but here he is, trying to trap a girl who has her back against the wall. Give that girl a good job and based on his past posts on her, he won't see her brakelight again. This relationship is fully sponsored by lack of options and parental guidance.

Male or female, you can't afford to be old and broke. It would affect your options.

1 of few women wey get sense for this con3. I agree with u

bukatyne:
1. Never mentioned the lady is rich and the guy is broke because he thinks a salary that can't pay N250k rent per annum is 'decent'.

2. A broke divorced man with kids, a spec? Where? In the sexual dating market as with in life, there are times a stages for everything. A 26-year-old broke guy is cute; a 30-year-old broke man is upcoming; a 45-year-old broke man is big trouble. A 20 Yr old uneducated, jobless girl is a baby girl; a 26 Yr old uneducated jobless girl is a red flag; a 35 Yr old uneducated jobless woman is a liability.

Don't remind me of sir jaus abi what was his name abeg. Oh, OH, don't also remind me of the infamous Odanz who was "broke" but securing women left and right, even one from London who came down here to collect D... common, stop playing. Divorcee men get the upper hand, and we both know why.

3. No 1 applies. And at no point did I say he should pay her rent. Like Poco said, the girl should go back to her relatives, and other friends or get a shared facility.

Awwwwnn... Poor girl. she should quit her job and move back in with her parents? Or, should her parents move to where she's staying so she move in with them after they move in? LOL.. common now.... This is becoming funny.

4. I haven't broke shamed him either. It is like saying Trump is old. Am I 'age-shaming' him?

ahnn ahnn... changing the Narrative, ehnn aunty buky.

5. Who is Saida? The OP's focus should be to improve his circumstances financially and bringing up his kids.

"Before he talks to me, he should send me 20m" something like that...

I didn't catch where Op said "I'm struggling financially"... If I can't afford a Telsa, does that mean I'm "struggling"??

6. Rich clean married men are hot cake. Except to women (especially my Yoruba sisters) who wants to relief themselves sexually.

hehehehe.... let's just wink at each other and assume, you know I know that you know what we are doing...let's toast to it, here's to all the ladies---single ladies currently dating a married man hoping he'd divorce his wife soon. They be singing, "Just leave your lover, leave [her] for me..." Cheers!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=182TRJq9Zt8

7. In your dreams

"Dream, dream dream,"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8

We4all:
Didn't you know that the average Nigerian man gets married so he can stop washing, cooking and cleaning?

ahnie shut up

Afodot0022:
what is the advantage and disadvantage of living together with your girlfriend under the same roof. My girlfriend had an accommodations problem, her friend they stay together kick her out for no just reason, she wanted to get an apartment and the money she was ask to bring was quite much 250k, I convinced her to come stay with me and save that money for other things, initially she opposed but later agreed to come stay.
My reasons for her staying are there..
1... I want to get to know her better cos I believe when you live with someone in the same space, that's when you get to know them better, I was once married and have learnt a lot on how ladies pretend in dating but show their true color in marriage, atleast I want to know her well before making another serious commitment of marriage.
2... She works and earn a decent salary which I think will be an added advantage for me by her supporting by we both sharing bills together, it will lessen by burden. Though I haven't discussed this with her yet but hope to soon cos I can't let her depend solely one me while she works.
3.... Ever since I separated from my wife, it's not been easy living alone as a man, the cooking ,washing ,cleaning and loneliness has not been easy, so we living together will atleast help me in these area.
To be candid, the girl is a good girl and I was the one that disvirgin her, she is submissive and respect me,

Oh! What a foolish Girl! @ bold
Unfortunately, i see her regretting these poor choices she has made.

Sad!

kkins25:
Don't remind me of sir jaus abi what was his name abeg. Oh, OH, don't also remind me of the infamous Odanz who was "broke" but securing women left and right, even one from London who came down here to collect D... common, stop playing. Divorcee men get the upper hand, and we both know why.

Apples and oranges. How did you mention Jarùs and Odanz in this conversation?

1) Jarùs and Odanz are not divorcees.

2) Jarùs was set to marry the 2nd wife.

3) Jarùs is not broke. He is a highly skilled professional.

4) Odanz might be broke, but he has Twitter fame. Something that is an allure to the girl who is on the same platform.

5) Odanz seems to be a young guy. You can get away with a lot as a young guy. As you get older more is expected.

6) Jarùs gave his first wife 5m to placate her into accepting the second wife. OP here called 250k annual rent HIGH.

7) None of the women attached to the above men were expected to come cohabit to cook, clean and wash.

8 ) Given that you are obviously mixing up married men and divorcees. Do know that a lot of these ladies love the thrill if it is to chop from outside. That is because the first wife is inside doing the work. Tell them to come inside and take over pounding akpu and majority will run.


Divorcees could be a catch. But a divorcee who can't do his laundry himself and still cannot afford washing machine or drycleaner to handle it, is definitely not in this spectrum for most ladies. Stop the delulu.

Foodqueen:
You are asking this question, and you said you were once married

a bit strange right? lol

Afodot0022:
Good day my lovely people, it always good to share life with you people here. Pls I need to ask, what is the advantage and disadvantage of living together with your girlfriend under the same roof. My girlfriend had an accommodations problem, her friend they stay together kick her out for no just reason, she wanted to get an apartment and the money she was ask to bring was quite much 250k, I convinced her to come stay with me and save that money for other things, initially she opposed but later agreed to come stay.
My reasons for her staying are there..
1... I want to get to know her better cos I believe when you live with someone in the same space, that's when you get to know them better, I was once married and have learnt a lot on how ladies pretend in dating but show their true color in marriage, atleast I want to know her well before making another serious commitment of marriage.
2... She works and earn a decent salary which I think will be an added advantage for me by her supporting by we both sharing bills together, it will lessen by burden. Though I haven't discussed this with her yet but hope to soon cos I can't let her depend solely one me while she works.
3.... Ever since I separated from my wife, it's not been easy living alone as a man, the cooking ,washing ,cleaning and loneliness has not been easy, so we living together will atleast help me in these area.
To be candid, the girl is a good girl and I was the one that disvirgin her, she is submissive and respect me, but you know you can really say of a person character until you live with them.

Now my question is to those that have been in this situation of living together with a girlfriend you are yet to marry, how did this affect the relationship afterwards. Pls share your experience be it negative or positive, I really want to learn from others to see if I can proceed on this or just abort mission by not allowing her to stay any longer. Do you think it make sense I share bills with her or I should should all financial responsibility even though am not capable of that now.. pls help me to navigate this scenario

You dont need to share bills with her because she is not your flat mate but a bed mate

You have to be paying all the bills and still provide for both of you

You are the one that invited her because if you had assisted her to pay the rent, that would have been better for both of you

You said you want to live with her to see her true color, don't be surprise that, that true colour may not even appear untill you trigger it

Women are naturally good, but once a man does something ugly to them, it will automatically bring out the beast in her

Since you met her as a virgin, then you can still go ahead to model her to suit you and probably get married to her

So far you share the same bed, pregnancy must occur make sure to go and see her family if that happens

pocohantas:
Apples and oranges. How did you mention Jarùs and Odanz in this conversation?

1) Jarùs and Odanz are not divorcees.

2) Jarùs was set to marry the 2nd wife.

3) Jarùs is not broke. He is a highly skilled professional.

4) Odanz might be broke, but he has Twitter fame. Something that is an allure to the girl who is on the same platform.

5) Odanz seems to be a young guy. You can get away with a lot as a young guy. As you get older more is expected.

6) Jarùs gave his first wife 5m to placate her into accepting the second wife. OP here called 250k annual rent HIGH.

7) None of the women attached to the above men were expected to come cohabit to cook, clean and wash.

8 ) Given that you are obviously mixing up married men and divorcees. Do know that a lot of these ladies love the thrill if it is to chop from outside. That is because the first wife is inside doing the work. Tell them to come inside and take over pounding akpu and majority will run.


Divorcees could be a catch. But a divorcee who can't do his laundry himself and still cannot afford washing machine or drycleaner to handle it, is definitely not in this spectrum for most ladies. Stop the delulu.

Abeg give me tea.

Leave Kkins with his delulu.

bukatyne:
Abeg give me tea.

Leave Kkins with his delulu.

Na inhouse drama wey play our during your hiatus. Naso we see am. If you search the username in question, it would lead you to the promised land. 🤐🤐🤐