₦airaland Forum

UyaiIncomparabl:
Do you think every woman cares? Some women do not care about competition since that is your inference about polygamy, especially if she's vindictive and spiteful, then it is a rockabye.

The woman in the OP seems like who has mentally checked out. So, your polygamy suggestion is dust.

No take am serious. Me and that babe dey play na. You sef

Thanks, I'll check these questions

Sharpsharp00123:
bros

I perfectly understand what u are going through n as a married man this is exactly what is happening in my family now but it's my wife that is in your shoes n I am your wife shoes

We discussed these same issues last night n I can tell u for sure your wife is not cheating

Many people who keep telling u to divorce or that she's cheating arent married
Let me break it down for u

Hope it's not that u people are going through financial hardship that is taking a toll on her n making her less interested in other things?

Hope it's not that one of her family is down with terminal disease that keep bothering her mind?

Hope it's not that u complain about some of her weaknesses without doing it with love?

Hope it isn't that a communication barrier is broken?

Hope it's not that she discussed an important issue with u n u really don't count it?

I don't believe she's cheating though but I believe something is weighing her down psychologically

Probably a secret she's scared u might get to know later or she told u some lies along the line n she realised u will find out someday

See ehn some people are t cheating but once their heart is down

They need upliftment n they have to solve d problem to bring them back to life

Hope it's not that any of your family members are giving her tough time or she's going through hard time where u are staying

U need an heart to heart talk with her

I don't want to believe she's cheating

UyaiIncomparabl:
When you go marry, Oga? Old papa.

He's non-binary

Kaczynski:
He's non-binary

He looks gay even.

pansophist:
My women all have different racial backgrounds. Can you beat that? I have a rainbow family.

About money, I don't need it. The government takes care of all of us.

Na me say make you be Nigerian wey your government no send you?

It's you proudly saying "my women" for me.
How many women do you currently have? Do you truly intend to marry more than one woman?

UyaiIncomparabl:
Do you think every woman cares? Some women do not care about competition since that is your inference about polygamy, especially if she's vindictive and spiteful, then it is a rockabye.

The woman in the OP seems like who has mentally checked out. So, your polygamy suggestion is dust.

hi sexy its been so long
I miss you so much muah

LVStone:
Thanks for the later, as regards the former, we already have 2 children, she obviously want another baby (not now though) but I don't want at all.

let me ask you thrde questions sir.
1. Does she disturb you about getting pregnant again.
2. Does she want you to release inside her and you dont.
I have seen a situation like this where the wife wants a child now now bit the husband was not ready
She displayed this kind of thing too. She doesnt want to have sex with her husband if he won't release inside her. So she did evwrything to avoid sex and romance saying it makes her empty if the man does not release inside her cos according to her the sperm makes women fresh. Since your wife is not rhe talking type maybe that is her issue tooo
The solution is in counselling dont detach from her it will only break her. And dont seek sex outside tou may end up regrettimg it cos many of rhese girla outside na portal them.be oo them.done use their glory and are not being used to spoil men destiny.
Yiu fit go carry one now and she will have her own wahala too

But again as a guy man are you sure she is not seeing someone else.

abba09:
hi sexy its been so long
I miss you so much muah

Thank you.

How're you?

If she's the woman in this thread, you don mess up o
https://www.nairaland.com/3559132/love-not-enjoying-relationship

I appreciate this, actually she wants another pregnancy and I don't want again at all.

Her only reason for not forcing pregnancy on me is the demands of her job. We have two girls and in all sincerity I am good with it but she always says that she want a male which i do sternly reject.

I also do tell her that Incase her family planning fails and any pregnancy comes we will remove it.

My reason for not wanting any other baby is nothing but a decision I made long before I started relationship.

Recently she said I should pray for her to give birth to a male as next child I refuse, infact I pray that may she not get pregnant again.

Are two children not enough? Why can't we train them well and enjoy the future?

If this is it then, I don't think I'll dance to her tune.

madone:
let me ask you thrde questions sir.
1. Does she disturb you about getting pregnant again.
2. Does she want you to release inside her and you dont.
I have seen a situation like this where the wife wants a child now now bit the husband was not ready
She displayed this kind of thing too. She doesnt want to have sex with her husband if he won't release inside her. So she did evwrything to avoid sex and romance saying it makes her empty if the man does not release inside her cos according to her the sperm makes women fresh. Since your wife is not rhe talking type maybe that is her issue tooo
The solution is in counselling dont detach from her it will only break her. And dont seek sex outside tou may end up regrettimg it cos many of rhese girla outside na portal them.be oo them.done use their glory and are not being used to spoil men destiny.
Yiu fit go carry one now and she will have her own wahala too

But again as a guy man are you sure she is not seeing someone else.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Thank you.

How're you?

I'm doing fine. Nd that pic on your profile make me more comfortable. See ya,later

EreluRoz:
It's you proudly saying "my women" for me.
How many women do you currently have? Do you truly intend to marry more than one woman?

Currently four

They all have conjugal rights. That should answer your question.

abba09:
I'm doing fine. Nd that pic on your profile make me more comfortable. See ya,later

Thank you.

UjuJoan2:
This is the repercussions of the 50/50 bills you men have been fighting for. There is no romance without finance. Just as men are wired to cheat, women are wired to be turned on by money.

If you want romance in your marriage, be ready to provide 100%. You cannot expect her to share bills with you and then want to come and “play with her b00bs”, it won’t work. A providing man is a sexy man. Anytime she sees you she will want to jump your bones.

Argue with your ancestors!!

BROTHAS AND SISTAS.... flee from the above tales by moonlights from the pit of hell that some women tell on NL. when that same woman stays home all day and solely care for the family home and kids, then she will now claim she is too tired to have sex because she did too much at home... and even when you now pay for a housegirl to do your wife's chores, she will bring other excuses to the table.

- when a man has to fix whats broken at home, he doesnt later turn around and say he is too tired to now have sex with his wife!
- when a man's gotta fix his wife's car or change a flat tyre, he doesnt later turn around and say he is too tired to now have sex with his wife
- when a man has to wake up in the middle of the night to defend his wife against armed intruders/robbers, he doesnt later turn around and say he is too tired to now have sex with his wife!

men at home have duties and women at home have duties too, cooking and cleaning is a woman's duty (whether she has a job or not). let us not be bamboozled to allow lazy women to stay home and do NOTHING (apart from becoming expert in telemundo and telenovelas)

pansophist:
Currently four

They all have conjugal rights. That should answer your question.

How are you satisfying those four women mentally, financially and sexually? Are you sure you are not a side boyfriend to some of them?

Nna, take a junior wife.

OP if you like go and divorce your wife.

First,. She's likely not someone with high sex drive, you must have seen this during courtship. Not wanting sex doesn't mean she's cheating.

Secondly, she may not she may not fully be attracted to you sexually, still doesn't translate to she being attracted to someone else outside your marriage. You should know who you are married to.

If Sex is your priority then I'm sorry, they won't be improvement if those 2 reasons up there are applicable. You have to bear with her or decide to move on.

SHE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR OUTSIDE........ BELIEVE IT OR NOT

LVStone:
Hello everyone,

I am married for five years now and I love my marriage.

I have an issue and I need your advice on how to detach myself from being emotionally connected to my wife.

She mostly have mood swing and I use to have issues attending to her emotions, I want to always at each time check what exactly as gone wrong and how I can fix.

Most often I apologize because I want peace(she picks fault easily and gets angry)

The worst is that we do have sex but we mostly don't make love;

My wife hates being romantic, I can't play with my wife's breasts or buttocks, 90% of the times I tried she says she doesn't want.

I do ask the following questions

1. Am I not attractive?
2. Don't you have emotional attachment to me?
3. Why did you marry me if 1&2 are yes?
4. Is there something I did wrong?
5. Are you thinking about something?
6. Is there something i need to do?

In all she will Only say she doesn't just want it.

It happened that this evening, she was on the couch and I tried touching her best in a romantic way, she immediately changed her mood and said I should leave her as usual.

I asked her why she did that and she said that doing that will turn her on and she doesn't want to be turned on. I then asked if it was a crime for a married woman to be turned on, she said she doesn't want to be turned on because she doesn't want it to lead to sex because she doesn't want sex.

Again I have still not understood how a married woman who claims not to be having any emotional/phycological issues and no offense from the husband will avoid being romantic or being sexual with her husband.

If I need sex she gives as a duty, but I need more than sex, I need a romantic contact mind you i dont have extramarital affairs.

I feel very stupid, I feel like a fool, I feel I am too emotionally connected to her.

How can I stop having feelings for her? As in including sexual feelings for her? I wish I can also give her sex as a duty any day or year she needs it too.

Please I need help on how to do this.

I will appreciate mature responses without insults.

Thanks

The summary of all you just narated here is that, she is not romantic and probably may not have feelings for you

To her sex with her is a task for her and most times she is not in the mood

So you just have to deal with it

Just get her pregnant and she will totally distance herself from you

Then you can sort yourself out as you wish

Body no be wood

EreluRoz:
How are you satisfying those four women mentally, financially and sexually? Are you sure you are not a side boyfriend to some of them?

I'm trying, God is my strength.

The numbers would not have increased to four if there was no satisfaction.

You saw the red flags during courting but you ignored it. Just manage it like that.

Proserpina:
Lol... You killed your woman's confidence in being vulnerable with you. You may think she has forgiven you, she might have but she's not comfortable with you anymore. She's always on guard with you so she avoids weak moments with you. Lest tickling her leads to "involuntary gas" release and then crucification .

One thing you men these days is the maturity to correct without making your women feel less of themselves. And when you see get the outcome you blame your women and imaginary "new men " in their lives.

Your woman isn't a stranger , it's five years so you should know how to pacify her. Admit to her you might not have handled some situations in your home wisely and you are ready to give it second time to make your marriage right. You have created a wall, and the only way to bring it is to meet her halfway. Show her you aren't Mr Perfect

If you kill your feelings for your wife, soon enough you two will start living as flatmate.

BTW I read your previous threads, is she the same "faargin" lady you were in relationship with in 2017? You complained about not enjoying the relationship. Lol let it not be her 😂

She is definitely. People see red flags everywhere before going ahead to marry and then come to public domain to disturb people with complains. Return to his old threads and see how he technically deleted all his posts there to avoid people joining dots to slam him. It's either the stories are the usual fictions we read here or he never heed to danger signals while in relationship.

pansophist:
I'm trying, God is my strength.

The numbers would not have increased to four if there was no satisfaction.

Dangerous play...

This problem is not peculiar to your home, If you ask around. Maybe 4 out 10. It's just severe in one case than the other.

1. Do you guys have kids, Do you help with chores, Is there financial burden?

2. Aside this intimacy issue, do you guys do stuffs together at home (gist about the day or anything, watch movie together, play games, pray)
3. Is kind towards You?

4. Any trust issues?

If answer this questions sincerely toyourself, you should see where the problem is.

Withdrawing from your wife is the first step of the devil to destroy your home. Don't give him a room.

This is a stage in marriage between 3 to 10. You guys just need to reconnect if there not underlying issues.

LVStone:
Hello everyone,

I am married for five years now and I love my marriage.

I have an issue and I need your advice on how to detach myself from being emotionally connected to my wife.

She mostly have mood swing and I use to have issues attending to her emotions, I want to always at each time check what exactly as gone wrong and how I can fix.

Most often I apologize because I want peace(she picks fault easily and gets angry)

The worst is that we do have sex but we mostly don't make love;

My wife hates being romantic, I can't play with my wife's breasts or buttocks, 90% of the times I tried she says she doesn't want.

I do ask the following questions

1. Am I not attractive?
2. Don't you have emotional attachment to me?
3. Why did you marry me if 1&2 are yes?
4. Is there something I did wrong?
5. Are you thinking about something?
6. Is there something i need to do?

In all she will Only say she doesn't just want it.

It happened that this evening, she was on the couch and I tried touching her best in a romantic way, she immediately changed her mood and said I should leave her as usual.

I asked her why she did that and she said that doing that will turn her on and she doesn't want to be turned on. I then asked if it was a crime for a married woman to be turned on, she said she doesn't want to be turned on because she doesn't want it to lead to sex because she doesn't want sex.

Again I have still not understood how a married woman who claims not to be having any emotional/phycological issues and no offense from the husband will avoid being romantic or being sexual with her husband.

If I need sex she gives as a duty, but I need more than sex, I need a romantic contact mind you i dont have extramarital affairs.

I feel very stupid, I feel like a fool, I feel I am too emotionally connected to her.

How can I stop having feelings for her? As in including sexual feelings for her? I wish I can also give her sex as a duty any day or year she needs it too.

Please I need help on how to do this.

I will appreciate mature responses without insults.

Thanks

Theama:
Dangerous play...

How?

LVStone:
Hello everyone,

I am married for five years now and I love my marriage.

I ......
Thanks

Take her on a vacation without the kids or buy her a nice gift.

If she still isnt into you, then there's a problem

UjuJoan2:
This is the repercussions of the 50/50 bills you men have been fighting for. There is no romance without finance. Just as men are wired to cheat, women are wired to be turned on by money.

If you want romance in your marriage, be ready to provide 100%. You cannot expect her to share bills with you and then want to come and “play with her b00bs”, it won’t work. A providing man is a sexy man. Anytime she sees you she will want to jump your bones.

Argue with your ancestors!!

Men argued for the bold as women's empowerment and inclusion in the workforce reduced job opportunities for men. Some industries have been feminized such that a male participant will find it hard to get a job in that industry. One is HR. Someone wrote somewhere that his friend was one of the three males who wrote the CIPM exam. Also, as women have entered the workforce and started earning money. The question is: what are they using it for? On one hand, you reduced economic opportunities for young males. On the other hand, you are stingy with the money you earn.

Rights without responsibilities.

Good afternoon everyone,

I really appreciate your submissions, I have digested all and I have picked few to act up on.

Your marriage will not be the beginning of your end in Jesus name.

Thanks and God bless you

Good afternoon everyone,

I really appreciate your submissions, I have digested all and I have picked few to act up on.

Your marriage will not be the beginning of your end in Jesus name.

Thanks and God bless you

BrutusOj:
She is definitely. People see red flags everywhere before going ahead to marry and then come to public domain to disturb people with complains. Return to his old threads and see how he technically deleted all his posts there to avoid people joining dots to slam him. It's either the stories are the usual fictions we read here or he never heed to danger signals while in relationship.

Good afternoon everyone,

I really appreciate your submissions, I have digested all and I have picked few to act up on.

Your marriage will not be the beginning of your end in Jesus name.

Thanks and God bless you

Duchexx:
You saw the red flags during courting but you ignored it. Just manage it like that.

Again.

Wasn't she the lady you complained of in 2017?

Namaster:
Just take a look at the kind of WATERY pieces of advice that men give to a man being emotionally abused, FREQUENTLY denied, merely TOLERATED and being generally treated like an annoying PEST by his wife.

OP, take note:

Your wife is FUCCCKING somebody else. She does NOT like you anymore. She's NOT attracted to you. She NO LONGER respects you.

Also the fact you constantly HUMILIATE, DEBASE and BELITTLE yourself by soliciting and accepting PITY sex from a woman that ABSOLUTELY hates your guts is NOT helping you. Makes her even more DISGUSTED with you.

Imagine your wife NOT allowing you to caress or even touch her sensually when you have sex. She just removes her clothes and lies STILL like a log of wood and ONLY lets you put your dick in her vagina because it's her duty.

Dude, that's how BROTHEL prostitutes do their jobs. Not a WIFE!

I bet OP has not received BJs from his wife in years.

OP, Your Course of Action:

End the marriage this night!

Don't try to NEGOTIATE. Don't bargain.

Don't believe her even if she says she'll CHANGE. She won't. Her attraction to you is DEAD! No changing that now.

Your wife thinks having sex with you is an ANNOYANCE. She REJECTS cuddling with you because she thinks it might lead to sex.

You have been reduced to a NUISANCE in your own marriage!

END it!

Sex is a BIG part of marriage. Women love sex. Men love sex. If a wife does NOT like having sex with her husband, it's because she's find someone else she likes having sex with. And she thinks her new intimacy gadget is BETTER than her husband.

DIVORCE and find someone else to have sex with.

LEAVE this woman!

Wish I could give you a million likes. EXCEPT the part where you said she's fucking someone else. This is not necessarily true. Just that she detests the hubby - probably because, one way or another, she got a bad deal in marrying him