₦airaland Forum

Dtruthspeaker:
What do i gain in blackmailing you? You are not a member of my family.

And all i am pointing out is that your judgement on the man was most wicked and unfair.

.

You are also not.

Wicked and unfair? Struggling to get another job and accommodation till now, with no safety net is what is wicked and unfair, not me.

Mindlog:
You are also not.

Wicked and unfair? Struggling to get another job and accommodation till now, with no safety net is what is wicked and unfair, not me.

is it his saying No that stopped him from getting another job? Everything is wrong with you oo

Dtruthspeaker:
is it his saying No that stopped him from getting another job? Everything is wrong with you oo

It is way easier not to have a safety net, when you struggle to say NO.

There are some job openings that an extra layer of skill/training/qualification would help increase one's chance and personal development is not selfishness.

I confront Black Tax for what it is and will not get guilt trip into going beyond the range of the limit I have set.

Mindlog:
Now he has no job nor accommodation, are his siblings and mother, dead?

Well many of us struggle with the Messiah Complex and it has stunted many people's growth.

It is said, you can't pour from an empty cup, self-care is not selfishness.

Learning to say NO without feeling guilt, is a survival skill I have learnt. Back then during my undergraduate days, our Head of Department who is a Counselling Psychologist had the attached quote, boldly pasted on her office door and it helped students to prepare their minds before entering her office.

@ bold:

This!

Dtruthspeaker:
Now you have changed post! Who told you ny guy did not say No? look at the report, he even gave them of his accord and on really important stuff. So he ldeserves to be praised and prayed for especially as we know many many relations who are rich but are never there.

And why do you feel entitled to your relative's wealth?

Epositive:
In this country, you need to master the art of complaining A very important life-saving skill. You will be shocked that some people have savings they don’t want to touch but will bill you. People will always ask for your help, be it family, friends or neighbors. It’s your skill that help you manage it. There was a time I used to be very uncomfortable when someone asks for my help and I can’t render it. Not anymore.


It’s always good to notify people that you have bills to pay, when they call and ask “how are you” tell them “fine o but …..*quickly inserts the current problem*”. Some just want to test you to see if something will drop.

I have an elderly cousin who had mastered this skill, she said before you talk the one you want to shove at me, I have already laid 5 of my current bills and most times those who want to ask say nothing at the end. I always laugh whenever she says this.

Mindlog:
Changed post?🙄

Paying for your elder brother's children' school fees from your salary because your elder brother is too big to have his children in public schools despite the fact he couldn't afford to pay fees?

I guess because he has been created to be the messiah of the family and must give all, not thinking of himself, investments nor personal development. Now he is down and out, everybody go don calm down.

A relative requested I help him with some funds to help him sort out fees for his son who got admitted into a private university he even went ahead to convert the fees into Pound Sterling to make it look smaller and I asked him clearly that based on his financial health, why didn't he get his son to apply for a public university but he chose to pick offense with me and I did not bloody care.

Black tax is not a joke.

Hahaha.

The bolded got me rolling,

Missroyalluv:
I was just observing and thinking out loud.
I know of a guy, single, 32yrs, number 6 in the family of 9, since he graduated and got a job, everybody in the family have been depending on him. He paid his elder brother's children school fees, take care of their mother and younger siblings. Every Christmas, he made provisions for bags of rice, meat, fuel basically everything for their family's comfort for those traveling for Xmas celebration in their family house. Last year, he lost his job and he is still struggling to get another job and accomodation till now.
His elder siblings are struggling facing their immediate family's problem, so, noone to help for now. Everyone is minding his personal business in that family.


My curiosity
Why does it look like in a poverty environment, when one wants to gather and rise financially, every other family members around want to keep collecting?

Why do most family members depend on a particular upcoming successful sibling until he can no longer get there due to excessive billing?
Why do kind hearted siblings suffer the most in the family?

What's your opinion on this?

Africa as a continent is made up of 54 countries.
Have you visited all the countries, studied their cultures and tribes to come to this conclusion?

descarado:
Africa as a continent is made up of 54 countries.
Have you visited all the countries, studied their cultures and tribes to come to this conclusion?

I have to some extent

Dtruthspeaker:

If they can not depend on their own family who are they to depend on?

My guy did well and God bless him. He did nothing wrong. Loss of work is not his family's doing but King Buhari and KIng Tinubu's wickedness.

Of course, family are suppose to depend on each other, but too much demand on a prospective successful one among the poor ones, wouldn't let him/her grow and if no one comes out of poverty, they all will keep suffering

I have four people I pay their bills without hesitation. Me, myself, I and my father. The rest like my mother, my sisters and my elder brother are what I call secondary expenses because I do it at random. My mother is manipulative, her billing most times is to help someone else especially my wicked uncles from her side so I don't take her billing seriously now. My elder bro is financially okay and my two sisters, I first make sure I ask them to bill their simp fiancé and husband before billing me. Cousins and random friends, I treat their billing as I like. Sometimes I say yes and most times, I say no. I'm not working this hard under the rain and sun to be solving people's needs, I don't have a NGO for charity. If I drop dead now, the only people that will skip afternoon food today are my parents and my siblings. All my extended family and friends will chop their afternoon foods and the men among them will still have erect dick to fucck their wives tonight.

NoToPile:
I have an elderly cousin who had mastered this skill, she said before you talk the one you want to shove at me, I have already laid 5 of my current bills and most times those who want to ask say nothing at the end. I always laugh whenever she says this.

She's right. Sometimes, you don't want to disturb others but people are inclined to assume all is well with you when you don't complain.

Nonexisting:
I have four people I pay their bills without hesitation. Me, myself, I and my father. The rest like my mother, my sisters and my elder brother are what I call secondary expenses because I do it at random. My mother is manipulative, her billing most times is to help someone else especially my wicked uncles from her side so I don't take her billing seriously now. My elder bro is financially okay and my two sisters, I first make sure I ask them to bill their simp fiancé and husband before billing me. Cousins and random friends, I treat their billing as I like. Sometimes I say yes and most times, I say no. I'm not working this hard under the rain and sun to be solving people's needs, I don't have a NGO for charity. If I drop dead now, the only people that will skip afternoon food today are my parents and my siblings. All my extended family and friends will chop their afternoon foods and the men among them will still have erect dick to fucck their wives tonight.

You really got me laughing. Pls still include your mom

Missroyalluv:
Of course, family are suppose to depend on each other, but too much demand on a prospective successful one among the poor ones, wouldn't let him/her grow and if no one comes out of poverty, they all will keep suffering

What kind of thinking is this? is it their request that made him lose his job and become poor?

Every human already knows how to blow people off like the poster above me has detailed, so this is not an issue.

bukatyne:
And why do you feel entitled to your relative's wealth?

Getting personal, right?

First, i am very certain you are referring to the evil wide meaning of entitlement rather than the God given meaning and Law that the rich has a duty to cater to his poor. And of course the rich man does not even meed to be a family member.

And this is where you prove you people are the ones who are very wicked because God Says you are your brothers keeper but here you are running away from your own brother. And you alll womder why the rich world is wicked.

As i have indicated God set it and natural rights dictates that the poor get from the rich which is why one is poor and the other is rich.that in the end, they would be ba balanced and no one is poor neither is any rich, and yet everyone is provided for.

And if they had no right to take it, then there would be nothing like The Laws of Inheritance and Succession and the Family all of which implementing The Law. of you are your brothers keeper!

Mindlog:
It is way easier not to have a safety net, when you struggle to say NO.

There are some job openings that an extra layer of skill/training/qualification would help increase one's chance and personal development is not selfishness.

I confront Black Tax for what it is and will not get guilt trip into going beyond the range of the limit I have set.

How does this transcribe to his sayiing No and losing his job?

It is already known that the limit of a giving is that determined by the give so this is not in issue.

That is why they say if you keep showing concern for every touching story, in the end your own story may be more touching.

Oizee:
That is why they say if you keep showing concern for every touching story, in the end your own story may be more touching.

And yet you people wonder why people have become very not caring and evil.

Dtruthspeaker:
And yet you people wonder why people have become very not caring and evil.

That's not what we are saying. Even the word of God says you should be wise in your dealings.
Why do you see that most scammer's victims are the kind hearted people? Is because you don't do everything with emotions and succeed. Sometimes, you need to say No to some situations. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Dtruthspeaker:
And yet you people wonder why people have become very not caring and evil.

Some times, you need to develop yourself and stand well so you can be more equipped to pull others up.

Missroyalluv:
Some times, you need to develop yourself and stand well so you can be more equipped to pull others up.

Is that not what he did when he had a job?
How does sayiing "No" to his family stop him from losing his job?

Missroyalluv:
That's not what we are saying. Even the word of God says you should be wise in your dealings.
Why do you see that most scammer's victims are the kind hearted people? Is because you don't do everything with emotions and succeed. Sometimes, you need to say No to some situations. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Don't bring that scammers argument; the giver lost because he already intended to give and lose to someone he knew, so nothing wrong here on the giver's side. It is the thief who has done an evil in stealing with deceits.

You are an evil person if you say no to a person whom you can help but you refuse to.

I am for supporting your family members. But rather than support in needs, support in terms of business. I.e if you have a younger brother that is jobless, buy him a laptop so he can learn content writing or a camera so he can learn photography. Open a shop for your mum so she can be selling minerals and sustaining herself from there. If you have good money, sponsor a sibling abroad so he can ease the burden on you. But that sibliging must promise before God that he/she will assist in supporting the family too for at least 4 years. Don't be solving their needs of hunger, bills, fees, etc. That is not your job to do. It is theirs.

kingthreat:
I am for supporting your family members. But rather than support in needs, support in terms of business. I.e if you have a younger brother that is jobless, buy him a laptop so he can learn content writing or a camera so he can learn photography. Open a shop for your mum so she can be selling minerals and sustaining herself from there. If you have good money, sponsor a sibling abroad so he can ease the burden on you. But that sibliging must promise before God that he/she will assist in supporting the family too for at least 4 years. Don't be solving their needs of hunger, bills, fees, etc. That is not your job to do. It is theirs.

Nice