₦airaland Forum

Please,who has explored the social welfare route in getting the custody of their children?How did it go please? Because,I really do not understand why they are pushing for a reconciliation when I clearly stated to them that the bride price has been refunded. Abeg,make Una explain to me bikonu. Let me know what I am up against.

Thanks

Who is the children presently with and what are their ages?

Mindlog:
Who is the children presently with and what are their ages?

They are an extended relative of their father the last time I spoke with them. Their ages are 7,5,3and 3 respectively.

Mindlog:
Who is the children presently with and what are their ages?

They are with an extended relative of their father the last time I spoke with them. Their ages are 7,5,3 and 3 respectively.

Are you their mother?

Samantha125:
Are you their mother?

Yes,I am

Then how did your children end up living with your ex husband's relatives? If you don't mind me asking.

Like what happened?

eminent91:
Yes,I am

Samantha125:
Then how did your children end up living with your ex husband's relatives? If you don't mind me asking.

Like what happened?

He "trickling"relocated us to the village,to prevent me from living the marriage easily as my family are based in the city. I left sometime last year.
I couldn't cope with staying in the village because I have never lived in a village all my life. I became very sick and decided to elope with my children. His mother found out and called the villagers and other family members.
They came with the local security operatives,then forced me to board a tricycle belonging to his cousin,I refused initially,but on seeing my children there,I decided to go with them.
I told them to allow me go inside and get some money and my charger. On getting back,they drove off with my children.That was the last time I saw my children.
I was in an abusive marriage though.

Dear OP, are you able to provide financially, emotionally.... for them?

Esthered:
Dear OP, are you able to provide financially, emotionally.... for them?

Yes

Problem is that I don't know how the Nigerian legal system works, what might be seen as an offence in my country might be the complete opposite in yours.

But judging from your narrative, I don't think your husband is legally fit to have custody of your children... He was an abusive man and on top of that, he left your children under the care of his relatives, who could be ill treating them as we speak.

If he wants to be a father to his children, then he needs to step up and be one rather than letting his relatives fill his shoes when those children still have a mother that is legally fit to look after them and give them that motherly love.

The first thing I can suggest is that you consult with the social services and get yourself a state social worker who works under your jurisdiction, unless if you can afford a private social worker that's based around your area as well.

If your ex husband still proves to be difficult, then the social worker would advise you on steps to take from then on... But prepare yourself for a custody battle, because it won't be easy, he'll do anything in his power to discourage you.

eminent91:
He "trickling"relocated us to the village,to prevent me from living the marriage easily as my family are based in the city. I left sometime last year.
I couldn't cope with staying in the village because I have never lived in a village all my life. I became very sick and decided to elope with my children. His mother found out and called the villagers and other family members.
They came with the local security operatives,then forced me to board a tricycle belonging to his cousin,I refused initially,but on seeing my children there,I decided to go with them.
I told them to allow me go inside and get some money and my charger. On getting back,they drove off with my children.That was the last time I saw my children.
I was in an abusive marriage though.

eminent91:
He "trickling"relocated us to the village,to prevent me from living the marriage easily as my family are based in the city. I left sometime last year.
I couldn't cope with staying in the village because I have never lived in a village all my life. I became very sick and decided to elope with my children. His mother found out and called the villagers and other family members.
They came with the local security operatives,then forced me to board a tricycle belonging to his cousin,I refused initially,but on seeing my children there,I decided to go with them.
I told them to allow me go inside and get some money and my charger. On getting back,they drove off with my children.That was the last time I saw my children.
I was in an abusive marriage though.

From your earlier post, the bride price has been returned and marriage ended. From their ages as you stated, you should have primary custody of the children while you and their father, coparent

At this stage, with the support of your family get FIDA (International Federation of Women Lawyers) involved, your ex-husband will be made to bring the kids from wherever his relatives have them.

Which city/town were you all staying before relocating to the village, so I can signpost you to the FIDA office you should get in touch with....you will eventually have the kids with you and the court will work out the provisions for the kids and time they will spend with each parent.

Don't be scared, the children will be brought back from those relatives because they have no parental rights over those children before the law, make sure you present proofs of abuse during the marriage......go legal, don't settle for any alternative.

Mindlog:
From your earlier post, the bride price has been returned and marriage ended. From their ages as you stated, you should have primary custody of the children while you and their father, coparent

At this stage, with the support of your family get FIDA (International Federation of Women Lawyers) involved, your ex-husband will be made to bring the kids from wherever his relatives have them.

Which city/town were you all staying before relocating to the village, so I can signpost you to the FIDA office you should get in touch with....you will eventually have the kids with you and the court will work out the provisions for the kids and time they will spend with each parent.

Don't be scared, the children will be brought back from those relatives because they have no parental rights over those children before the law, make sure you present proofs of abuse during the marriage......go legal, don't settle for any alternative.

Thank you very much. Report reaching me is that their father came and took them home on Wednesday, because I called the woman they were staying with to speak with them. We have another meeting at the social welfare office scheduled for Friday. I will know the next step to take after the meeting. I will keep you updated.

eminent91:
Thank you very much. Report reaching me is that their father came and took them home on Wednesday, because I called the woman they were staying with to speak with them. We have another meeting at the social welfare office scheduled for Friday. I will know the next step to take after the meeting. I will keep you updated.

Okay, noted.

Samantha125:
Problem is that I don't know how the Nigerian legal system works, what might be seen as an offence in my country might be the complete opposite in yours.

But judging from your narrative, I don't think your husband is legally fit to have custody of your children... He was an abusive man and on top of that, he left your children under the care of his relatives, who could be ill treating them as we speak.

If he wants to be a father to his children, then he needs to step up and be one rather than letting his relatives fill his shoes when those children still have a mother that is legally fit to look after them and give them that motherly love.

The first thing I can suggest is that you consult with the social services and get yourself a state social worker who works under your jurisdiction, unless if you can afford a private social worker that's based around your area as well.

If your ex husband still proves to be difficult, then the social worker would advise you on steps to take from then on... But prepare yourself for a custody battle, because it won't be easy, he'll do anything in his power to discourage you.

you'll have to wait till they come if age, before taking the case to court, or you can study how they're been treated, take pictures of poor treatment and recordings too, then sue him to court with evidence.

What do you mean you'll have to wait till they come of age when their mother is legally fit to be looking after them?

harmargedon:
you'll have to wait till they come if age, before taking the case to court, or you can study how they're been treated, take pictures of poor treatment and recordings too, then sue him to court with evidence.

Samantha125:
What do you mean you'll have to wait till they come of age when their mother is legally fit to be looking after them?

that's the law dear

Are you saying the mother must waiting until her children have clocked 18 in order for her to claim them?

harmargedon:
that's the law dear

harmargedon:
that's the law dear

That is NOT the law but your personal opinion.

harmargedon:
you'll have to wait till they come if age, before taking the case to court, or you can study how they're been treated, take pictures of poor treatment and recordings too, then sue him to court with evidence.

This your submission is totally not true. That is why we have the family court where such issues are treated if the case is not well handled by the social welfare office.

harmargedon:
you'll have to wait till they come if age, before taking the case to court, or you can study how they're been treated, take pictures of poor treatment and recordings too, then sue him to court with evidence.

I beg to disagree with this your submission.

Mindlog:
That is NOT the law but your personal opinion.

have you been in such situation before?

Caaz:
I beg to disagree with this your submission.

okay 👍

eminent91:
This your submission is totally not true. That is why we have the family court where such issues are treated if the case is not well handled by the social welfare office.

okay, till you get there then we'll see who's right 👍

Mindlog:
That is NOT the law but your personal opinion.

okay 👍

harmargedon:
have you been in such situation before?

I regularly work in such situations, I assess the child's psychological needs and the parenting abilities of each parent in custody matters.

The wholesome well-being of the children is of paramount interest not the ego of the father nor that of the mother.