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Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum โ€บ Nairaland General โ€บ Family โ€บ Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode (6620 Views)

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Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by EXPRESSSMAN(m): 9:35pm On Nov 24, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
Alright!

Hey Nairalanders! Lemme put this on here. Two years ago, I was on the street of Lagos working as a Dispatch Rider until I met a certain lady in Lekki who liked my person and wasn't shy to relate with me about how she felt about me. Before I knew it, the lady got me a Room & a Parlour Apartment in the Lekki phase 2 area.

Although, I always have a clear idea of what to do with my life and the resources needed to put my career on sail. As she found out about my lofty ideas, she liked me more and was proud to introduce me to her friends. She got me what I needed, a laptop, an iPhone XR, Wifi router and also credited my account with 300K, not forgetting, she stocked my new apartment with food stuffs, so I have nothing to worry about. I was fully empowered by the lady and I was happy to do what brings out the creativity in me.

I wouldn't say I fell in love with her, but I like and appreciate all she has done on me, and of course, she's head over hills with me. She's obsessed with me, my ways and my doings as I was already making my own money legitimately, earning in multiple streams both in Dollars and Euros. She always bring up the idea of marriage which didn't sit well with me cos the lady isn't the woman of my dreams but I always feel I gotta pay back her kindness in whatever ways possible.

Now, this is the thing. I am in my mid 30s and under crazy pressure from my parents especially my Dad to bring home a wife. Just last Sunday, my Mum called my line saying she found me a lady that I would like a lady who shares the same ideologies as mine and she promised me it will be hard for me to resist her. I laughed hard at her, telling her it won't be possible for her to choose a wife for me, she pleaded with me and assured me that I will like the lady. Okay, as my Mum, I hearken her demands, so I requested to see the lady's picture before having her contact. When she sent the picture, I was wowed by the looks of the lady cos she's so so cute. Well, being cute have never been a requisite for choosing a woman for me.

Furthermore, I requested for her contact to find out who she is and what she stands for, my people, I was blown away by the level of intelligence of the lady. Her mentality and ideas made me realize she's the woman I dreamt of all these years. We became so excited about each other. The lady also lives on the Island and her estate is just a few kilometers from mine. We went on a date last Friday and it is obvious from the look of things that we are gonna be together for long.

Here is my challenge, the first girl who gave me life and set me up for greatness have bigger expectation than what she currently get from our relationship. Although, I never promised her marriage, not even when am drunk. Although, she will make a good wife and probably do everything to satisfy me. But the challenge is she doesn't stand for the same philosophy as me. She knows little or nothing about my life call. As things stands right now, I am richer than her and have a few better connections than she does and she was the reason why I achieved all that I have today.

Now, how do I breakup with the first lady cos I can't stay in a relationship that leads nowhere. Neither do I want to waste her time cos I just wanna comeout plain. I feel some pity and sorriness in my spirit but I don't wanna succumb to it. I know she will be heart broken and I might be a reason why she become vile towards men. I am a bit confused and at the same time lucid about my wants in life.

How do I repay back the first lady? At this junction, I found the woman of my dreams, my parents have been so happy with me than ever before. I need your advice guys.
You, said she gave you life. That's very touching. You should have given her life in return.
Maybe without her, you would not have found your so called woman of your dream. I personally can relate with some one lifting another out of poverty. If you can sacrifice for me, I can as well sacrifice for you.
You can marry whom you want, but from the tone of your writing, I know you will regret not marrying her.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by Danchibez: 10:01pm On Nov 24, 2024
EXPRESSSMAN:
You, said she gave you life. That's very touching. You should have given her life in return.
Maybe without her, you would not have found your so called woman of your dream. I personally can relate with some one lifting another out of poverty. If you can sacrifice for me, I can as well sacrifice for you.
You can marry whom you want, but from the tone of your writing, I know you will regret not marrying her.
You said my mind
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by DollarLanda: 10:15pm On Nov 24, 2024
TenQ:
In a Christian marriage, God hates divorce.

Separation is allowed only if there is risk to life.

The vow you signed was
"For Better for Worse,
For Richer for Poorer,
In Sickness and in Health
Till Death do you part"


Are you saying that you didn't mean this before subscribing to it?
The bolded already answered my question.

The question you asked at the end is totally unnecessary.

Even God had to send Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden after they misbehaved.
I'm sure that wasn't in his original plan of "for better for worse"

On the flip side, if divorce isn't allowed because of for better for worse, could that be the reason why most notable Bible characters went for polygamy?
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 10:17pm On Nov 24, 2024
EXPRESSSMAN:
You, said she gave you life. That's very touching. You should have given her life in return.
Maybe without her, you would not have found your so called woman of your dream. I personally can relate with some one lifting another out of poverty. If you can sacrifice for me, I can as well sacrifice for you.
You can marry whom you want, but from the tone of your writing, I know you will regret not marrying her.
You're right. I probably might not be where I am today without her and not marrying that lady feels like betrayal on my side.

Though, I definitely will succeed, that is inevitable, but it might not be this quick. If I ended up not marrying that lady, it will be too hard to cast her outta my mind, she will forever live there and that won't be good for my marriage with the dream girl.

Aside all these, my Mom doesn't find her attractive cos of her multiple ear piercing and just one small love tattoo on her hand. All of that means nothing to me cos the heart is where I look at, but I can't trash my Mum's opinion.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by Pious101: 10:25pm On Nov 24, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
Alright!

Hey Nairalanders! Lemme put this on here. Two years ago, I was on the street of Lagos working as a Dispatch Rider until I met a certain lady in Lekki who liked my person and wasn't shy to relate with me about how she felt about me. Before I knew it, the lady got me a Room & a Parlour Apartment in the Lekki phase 2 area.

Although, I always have a clear idea of what to do with my life and the resources needed to put my career on sail. As she found out about my lofty ideas, she liked me more and was proud to introduce me to her friends. She got me what I needed, a laptop, an iPhone XR, Wifi router and also credited my account with 300K, not forgetting, she stocked my new apartment with food stuffs, so I have nothing to worry about. I was fully empowered by the lady and I was happy to do what brings out the creativity in me.

I wouldn't say I fell in love with her, but I like and appreciate all she has done on me, and of course, she's head over hills with me. She's obsessed with me, my ways and my doings as I was already making my own money legitimately, earning in multiple streams both in Dollars and Euros. She always bring up the idea of marriage which didn't sit well with me cos the lady isn't the woman of my dreams but I always feel I gotta pay back her kindness in whatever ways possible.

Now, this is the thing. I am in my mid 30s and under crazy pressure from my parents especially my Dad to bring home a wife. Just last Sunday, my Mum called my line saying she found me a lady that I would like a lady who shares the same ideologies as mine and she promised me it will be hard for me to resist her. I laughed hard at her, telling her it won't be possible for her to choose a wife for me, she pleaded with me and assured me that I will like the lady. Okay, as my Mum, I hearken her demands, so I requested to see the lady's picture before having her contact. When she sent the picture, I was wowed by the looks of the lady cos she's so so cute. Well, being cute have never been a requisite for choosing a woman for me.

Furthermore, I requested for her contact to find out who she is and what she stands for, my people, I was blown away by the level of intelligence of the lady. Her mentality and ideas made me realize she's the woman I dreamt of all these years. We became so excited about each other. The lady also lives on the Island and her estate is just a few kilometers from mine. We went on a date last Friday and it is obvious from the look of things that we are gonna be together for long.

Here is my challenge, the first girl who gave me life and set me up for greatness have bigger expectation than what she currently get from our relationship. Although, I never promised her marriage, not even when am drunk. Although, she will make a good wife and probably do everything to satisfy me. But the challenge is she doesn't stand for the same philosophy as me. She knows little or nothing about my life call. As things stands right now, I am richer than her and have a few better connections than she does and she was the reason why I achieved all that I have today.

Now, how do I breakup with the first lady cos I can't stay in a relationship that leads nowhere. Neither do I want to waste her time cos I just wanna comeout plain. I feel some pity and sorriness in my spirit but I don't wanna succumb to it. I know she will be heart broken and I might be a reason why she become vile towards men. I am a bit confused and at the same time lucid about my wants in life.

How do I repay back the first lady? At this junction, I found the woman of my dreams, my parents have been so happy with me than ever before. I need your advice guys.
my people say that the meat you will not chew, don't use Ur teeth to divide it
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 10:31pm On Nov 24, 2024
Pious101:
my people say that the meat you will not chew, don't use Ur teeth to divide it
Alright, thanks.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by folake4u: 10:38pm On Nov 24, 2024
GloriousGbola:
When is your son getting married? Or is he in red pill/alfa mail geng?
G.G, you like trouble wallahi. grin
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by folake4u: 10:38pm On Nov 24, 2024
gbaskiboy:
Surehome suppose give us sure odd make we cash out for December
Hahahaha wetin be this. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by EXPRESSSMAN(m): 10:41pm On Nov 24, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
You're right. I probably might not be where I am today without her and not marrying that lady feels like betrayal on my side.

Though, I definitely will succeed, that is inevitable, but it might not be this quick. If I ended up not marrying that lady, it will be too hard to cast her outta my mind, she will forever live there and that won't be good for my marriage with the dream girl.

Aside all these, my Mom doesn't find her attractive cos of her multiple ear piercing and just one small love tattoo on her hand. All of that means nothing to me cos the heart is where I look at, but I can't trash my Mum's opinion.
Well, it is still up to you to decide. I can see that you're are a good person with conscience. But you're are about to make a big mistake by following your mother's view in this matter. It doesn't make you a man. You are the one to live with whomever you're married to not your mother.
What matters in marriage is a good heart. From your story, the lady in question has a good heart. piercing and tattoo are fashion which can be removed. I know that it is far better to marry someone you know than the one you don't know.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TenQ: 10:47pm On Nov 24, 2024
DollarLanda:
The bolded already answered my question.

The question you asked at the end is totally unnecessary.

Even God had to send Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden after they misbehaved.
I'm sure that wasn't in his original plan of "for better for worse"

On the flip side, if divorce isn't allowed because of for better for worse, could that be the reason why most notable Bible characters went for polygamy?
Polygamy like divorce came in as a choice men made for themselves due to the hardness of their hearts.
In the beginning it was not so was what Christ said.

Polygamy doesn't solve any major long-term marital problem, instead it creates more long-term problems.

Polygamy is a quick fix solution to just sexual relationship in marriage. It comes with complex dynamics coupled with an unpredictable end in the relationship between the children that comes into the marriage.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TenQ: 10:52pm On Nov 24, 2024
EXPRESSSMAN:
You, said she gave you life. That's very touching. You should have given her life in return.
Maybe without her, you would not have found your so called woman of your dream. I personally can relate with some one lifting another out of poverty. If you can sacrifice for me, I can as well sacrifice for you.
You can marry whom you want, but from the tone of your writing, I know you will regret not marrying her.
You spoke like a Daniel!
I hope he will listen!


RIght now, I guess he is feeling too big for the lady who built him!
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TenQ: 10:55pm On Nov 24, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
You're right. I probably might not be where I am today without her and not marrying that lady feels like betrayal on my side.

Though, I definitely will succeed, that is inevitable, but it might not be this quick. If I ended up not marrying that lady, it will be too hard to cast her outta my mind, she will forever live there and that won't be good for my marriage with the dream girl.

Aside all these, my Mom doesn't find her attractive cos of her multiple ear piercing and just one small love tattoo on her hand. All of that means nothing to me cos the heart is where I look at, but I can't trash my Mum's opinion.
It is not about your mum, it is about you!

Don't leave an asset for a liability for all beauty fades with time!

There is no ugly woman: its all about how she's been packaged
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 11:03pm On Nov 24, 2024
TenQ:
It is not about your mum, it is about you!

Don't leave an asset for a liability for all beauty fades with time!

There is no ugly woman: its all about how she's been packaged
The looks of any woman doesn't move me, rather the contents of her heart.

My newly found girl resonates with my life mission. I have a calling to serve humanity and she shares just the same vision as mine. Her passion lies in stretching the help hands to as much people as she can, she wanna do that till the rest of her life and that's the exact same thing I want from life.

But the first lady doesn't want that, she just want us to live and enjoy life.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 11:05pm On Nov 24, 2024
EXPRESSSMAN:
Well, it is still up to you to decide. I can see that you're are a good person with conscience. But you're are about to make a big mistake by following your mother's view in this matter. It doesn't make you a man. You are the one to live with whomever you're married to not your mother.
What matters in marriage is a good heart. From your story, the lady in question has a good heart. piercing and tattoo are fashion which can be removed. I know that it is far better to marry someone you know than the one you don't know.
This made me nod my head several times in approval. Your views is well appreciated. Thanks.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by Jazzman01: 5:47am On Nov 25, 2024
sweetjohn:
Anybody that hate the institution of marriage and donโ€™t want to marry, simply love fornication and frolicking with different kpekus. Itโ€™s the simple truth.
Not true. If you live in the US and some western countries, you will hate women and marriage. Women don't love or care about us, they're all after what they can collect from us.
It is religion that is still keeping the marriage institution here in Africa.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by God1000(m): 6:45am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
The looks of any woman doesn't move me, rather the contents of her heart.

My newly found girl resonates with my life mission. I have a calling to serve humanity and she shares just the same vision as mine. Her passion lies in stretching the help hands to as much people as she can, she wanna do that till the rest of her life and that's the exact same thing I want from life.

But the first lady doesn't want that, she just want us to live and enjoy life.
And how do you know your newly found girl is not faking all the good altitude just to get married to you? Someone you just met

Remember, some ladies will pretend to be anything when they see a man that is okay, would this new girl even consider you at all if you were broke?
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 6:54am On Nov 25, 2024
God1000:
And how do you know your newly found girl is not faking all the good altitude just to get married to you? Someone you just met
There are questions you ask people, their answers reflects what lives in the innermost of their mind. No woman living can deceive me, my life experiences taught me well.

God1000:
Remember, some ladies will pretend to be anything when they see a man that is okay, would this new girl even consider you at all if you were broke?
Well, the lady herself is rich and from a rich home. Moreso, it was my parents who introduced the lady to me. They needed to plead with me so hard to know the lady before declining their offer.
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TenQ: 6:54am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
The looks of any woman doesn't move me, rather the contents of her heart.

My newly found girl resonates with my life mission. I have a calling to serve humanity and she shares just the same vision as mine. Her passion lies in stretching the help hands to as much people as she can, she wanna do that till the rest of her life and that's the exact same thing I want from life.

But the first lady doesn't want that, she just want us to live and enjoy life.
Have you been dating first lady?
If yes, then you have a problem!
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by God1000(m): 7:01am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
There are questions you ask people, their answers reflects what lives in the innermost of their mind. No woman living can deceive me, my life experiences taught me well.



Well, the lady herself is rich and from a rich home. Moreso, it was my parents who introduced the lady to me. They needed to plead with me so hard to know the lady before declining their offer.
hmm, But you should have let the first girl know since that you both are not compatible, you wasted her time
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 7:09am On Nov 25, 2024
God1000:
hmm, But you should have let the first girl know since that you both are not compatible, you wasted her time
I didn't promise her marriage, it was recently she started stirring up the idea of marriage.

Telling her I wanna move on is harder for me than to walk from Lagos to Sokoto.

How do I even say it?
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 7:11am On Nov 25, 2024
TenQ:
Have you been dating first lady?
If yes, then you have a problem!
๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by God1000(m): 7:13am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
I didn't promise her marriage, it was recently she started stirring up the idea of marriage.

Telling her I wanna move on is harder for me than to walk from Lagos to Sokoto.

How do I even say it?
You need to apply wisdom and emotional intelligence in handling this issue, I wish you all the best
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 7:17am On Nov 25, 2024
God1000:
You need to apply wisdom and emotional intelligence in handling this issue, I wish you all the best
Amen. Thanks a lot for your contribution.๐Ÿ™
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by Bjteensdes24: 7:39am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
The looks of any woman doesn't move me, rather the contents of her heart.

My newly found girl resonates with my life mission. I have a calling to serve humanity and she shares just the same vision as mine. Her passion lies in stretching the help hands to as much people as she can, she wanna do that till the rest of her life and that's the exact same thing I want from life.

But the first lady doesn't want that, she just want us to live and enjoy life.
A devil you know for a long time is better than that new angel you just know. Can this Second Lady pick you up and still love you when you were down or can she go through difficulties with you?
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by Bjteensdes24: 7:45am On Nov 25, 2024
TheTundeMuniru:
There are questions you ask people, their answers reflects what lives in the innermost of their mind. No woman living can deceive me, my life experiences taught me well.



Well, the lady herself is rich and from a rich home. Moreso, it was my parents who introduced the lady to me. They needed to plead with me so hard to know the lady before declining their offer.
Why didnโ€™t she introduce her to you when you were a dispatch rider? The ball is in your court and Iโ€™m not saying your mum will introduce a bad person to you but know that she isnโ€™t perfect like God. Look at it in another perspective that โ€˜why is it when you are better and not when you were struggling you know this lady?โ€™ Though, some are meant to elevate one in life for another
Re: Surehome Marriage Seminar: Question & Answer Episode by TheTundeMuniru: 7:49am On Nov 25, 2024
Bjteensdes24:
A devil you know for a long time is better than that new angel you just know. Can this Second Lady pick you up and still love you when you were down or can she go through difficulties with you?
Wow! This is from another angle of view.

She might find me distasteful if she had met me as a dispatch rider, she just might.
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