₦airaland Forum

Elzazzi:
That marry early isn't advisable for one from an average home now. It's more advisable for a man to have some financial stability at least.

I understand where you are coming from. But in the final analysis, it shouldnt take a lot to marry and have at least one kid. You dont need to be a millionaire to marry. There are people who I know, still living under their father's roof, but have a job that pays a little. They married someone and had one kid. Eventually they left their father's home, and slowly started rising but by the age of 40 he already had an 18 yo son who is an adult. some of his mates were still trying to 'settle' before marriage, at 40. You will never have a perfect time to marry while under 40. and if you are financially stable (whatever that mean) and ready to marry, if you are from eastern nigeria, your marriage list go reach heaven. But if you are a kid that just started life, you may have a more reasonable list.

Just start. I had a friend that had no job, he married, here in london, many years ago. His wife was earning a little money. He later stabilized and they have 3 kids . . . all grown.

If I have any regret, it is not marrying early. I'm in my late 30s now, i'm stable, but I have slept with so many girls that I have developed a distrust for the female gender and a distaste for marriage. This wouldnt have been the case if I married 15yrs ago. I am mad at myself now.

Bina33:
In business take your percent and send the rest,don’t send voice note.

musicwriter:
Don't sacrifice your life for your junior ones (those that are girls are the only ones that need help. Those that are boys, you're actually not doing them a favor by not allowing them to start their life on time). But whether boys or girls, they'll still survive without you.

NB: Funny enough, when someone gave me this advice several years ago I thought he was the Devil.

Hmmmm.
I think our path crossed again about this issue.
I totally agree with you.
I am in this dilemma right now.
I have been the sacrificial goat of the family to solve all family's problem.
Do you know what I got back? What has he done and also more problems and entitled family members to the extent that after sending my brother to UAE to work, he requested we send his new girlfriend along too. Can you imagine that? He told the girl not to worry, that his brother and mother will send her to meet him in UAE. A 30 years old man talking like a baby but now, life don touch am well well, he now knows that meat wey you drag, drag wey no cut na him Dem dey call nama.
Boys generally are a big liability to families if they are not doing anything meaningful. Atleast, girls would be married off and take the burdens of you and Yes, if you die today and not there anymore, they will sit up and solve their problems.

AuthorMan:
Accepting every demand from the woman you married because you love her portrays you as weak and foolish.
Deny her some of the requests even if she wont speak to you for weeks. It makes them know you are the man.

Gbam!!!

completeskills:
That hardwork or effort you refused to do to better your life in your youthfulness, life will make you go through triple the pain of that effort in your later life with lots of regrets and yet less satisfaction.

This applies in Nigeria's case sadly.

When other strong men are busy building their countries, Nigerian old men are doing the opposite. Now the country has rot away, and there is no end to the tragedy on site.

SPAMBOX7:
If you catch your woman cheating dump her.
A woman that's caught cheating is deadly. Keep her at your own peril

Lots of women will rather be a widow, than their dirty secrets exposed to the world. So yes, a cheating woman caught is a dangerous woman.

unequal friendship in an economical sense breeds contempt, which is harmful to you.

If you wonder why new money always move away from the hood, cut off old friends that knew them from grass, its because they understand the above.

Cain knew lots of wealthy men but choosed to kill his brother Abel because he knew Abel when he was nothing. Abel gave God burnt offering that God accepted, so God blessed him.

But Cain cant have that, was seething with envy how this younger brother can surpass me. Then killing him was the only balm that will sooth his pain. And he killed Abel.

More people have died in the hands of people they know, than in the hands of strangers. Humans generally are not good people.

Only a very few people can separate your economical position from their interaction with you, because they know that in spite of your wealth, you still suffer existentially for being human.

The more you trust people, the more you will suffer. The less you trust people, the less you suffer.

Beware of folks that want you to just trust them automatically. They already hatched evil plans that will be implemented easily if you trust and loose guard. Humans are not generally good people.

iamonpointa:
I'm on this table and I'm still 29. I've been making good money for over 5 years now.
I've never had a girlfriend and it never bothered me until recently.
I'm doing very well but I've been, and I'm still, looking for more money. I don't even spend upto 30% of my income, though about half of that, or less, is what I actually spend on myself.

I feel lost and lonely cos I also don't keep friends

I will advise you better change bro else, you will look back at your life and feel sad.
Enrol in a nice gym, go to a pool atleast a week and pay swimming instructor for training. Join social clubs like rotary club or 36 lioness for a start while you scale up later to bigger and better ones. Taekwondo class, long tennis club and you start meeting more people and better ones. Your social life will improve and you feel better and happier and more opportunities will open from there.
Go to Instagram and join active tour and event groups for weekend outings like beach, sip and paints etc and a different world opening to you

iamonpointa:
What did you study, sir?

I don't have a degree as I never went to the university.
I've thought about enrolling in an online course, but I don't even know where to start or which course to study.
I wouldn't say that I care much for a degree, just the knowledge would be enough for me.

But I can't really pinpoint anything that I'm passionate about.

I'm into mini-importation business. Things aren't as good as they used to be, due to the economy but I'm doing alright.

Even when things were going really well (financially), I've always felt like I'm meant for more in life, even though I don't know which step to take.

All I can think of is how to make more money. Even when I know that it wouldn't make me feel fulfilled as a person.
My biggest fear is being broke as I don't really have anyone to turn to for financial assistance.

One thing I can say that I'd like to improve is my diction and communication skills.
Sometimes, I refrain from giving opinions because I couldn't articulate them or wouldn't come out the way I'd like.

What advice would you have for me?

Thanks for your time. God bless you.

Have told you what to do. Do those things I previously wrote about and within 6 months, you will detect the ones you like among.
Making money is never enough rather how to you money for satisfaction and create happiness else, it will useless.
About finance, we all have the fear of not being broke or poor.
In this case, my best option is to open a mutual funds or passive income.
Something generating money for you by the side without your involvement. It really reduces our fear if we know we have something by the side to fall back to in worst case scenario.
Businesses have cycles, there are boom times when you make a lot and the doom times when it crumbles or slows down or kicked out by a stronger competitor or being swallowed up by stronger ones.
Knowing you have both naira and dollar mutual funds giving you atleast 500k per month to atleast feed and float pending when you sort yourself and start rising again gives a huge psychological balance

pansophist:
The more you trust people, the more you will suffer. The less you trust people, the less you suffer

I just got a baptism from a "popular real estate developer".

Beware of folks that want you to just trust them automatically. They already hatched evil plans that will be implemented easily if you trust and loose guard. Humans are not generally good people.

How does this reconcile if the said person is trustworthy or considers himself to be of high integrity? For instance, in Japan, it is expected that the average Japanese is honest. How do you reconcile both?

Gerrard59:
I just got a baptism from a "popular real estate developer".


How does this reconcile if the said person is trustworthy or considers himself to be of high integrity? For instance, in Japan, it is expected that the average Japanese is honest. How do you reconcile both?

There is a Russian proverb that goes like this - doveryay, no proveryay (meaning ''trust but verify'')

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust,_but_verify

If someone considers himself to be of high integrity, such self-appointment is insufficient for you to let your guard down. Trust what they say and do, but only to the extent that you will not be a victim.

If a pastor tells me for example how he is the best visa agent in town, has helped hundreds of people get a visa, I will nod my head like a lizard and believe, but I won give him any money.

''Human nature'' is where you draw the line, not their cultural, religious, self-appointment or behavioral affiliations. You might give chances for flexibility, but it must be consistent with the law of human nature.

emmaodet:
Have told you what to do. Do those things I previously wrote about and within 6 months, you will detect the ones you like among.
Making money is never enough rather how to you money for satisfaction and create happiness else, it will useless.
About finance, we all have the fear of not being broke or poor.
In this case, my best option is to open a mutual funds or passive income.
Something generating money for you by the side without your involvement. It really reduces our fear if we know we have something by the side to fall back to in worst case scenario.
Businesses have cycles, there are boom times when you make a lot and the doom times when it crumbles or slows down or kicked out by a stronger competitor or being swallowed up by stronger ones.
Knowing you have both naira and dollar mutual funds giving you atleast 500k per month to atleast feed and float pending when you sort yourself and start rising again gives a huge psychological balance

Thank you very much sir🙏🏾

emmaodet:
Have told you what to do. Do those things I previously wrote about and within 6 months, you will detect the ones you like among.
Making money is never enough rather how to you money for satisfaction and create happiness else, it will useless.
About finance, we all have the fear of not being broke or poor.
In this case, my best option is to open a mutual funds or passive income.
Something generating money for you by the side without your involvement. It really reduces our fear if we know we have something by the side to fall back to in worst case scenario.
Businesses have cycles, there are boom times when you make a lot and the doom times when it crumbles or slows down or kicked out by a stronger competitor or being swallowed up by stronger ones.
Knowing you have both naira and dollar mutual funds giving you atleast 500k per month to atleast feed and float pending when you sort yourself and start rising again gives a huge psychological balance

Could you pls explain more about the mutual funds?

Especially the dollar one, as I don't trust naira investments due to inflation.

How much would I need to invest to get around 500k monthly return?


Thanks🙏🏾

musicwriter:
I was 29 years old when our mother left. And ever since I became the breadwinner of the house.

But I had a choice to just carry on my own life, instead I sacrificed my own aspirations for them to make sure they go to school, feed, etc. Example; I wanted to take up a part time in UNILAG then, but couldn't just do that anymore.

I never knew what was called a girl friend as I actually lived like a parent already. I could have got married at that point but I didn't. I remember the same friend asking me to get married then but I didn't. He once told me that "if you could take care of these people, then you can as well get married now." But their upbringing was more important to me.

Long story short, when things went sour for me, those that are male vow that I've never helped them in my life. And they're living on their own now. Those that are female got married within a couple of years. So, at the end I realized they could as well survived without me.

Now, I have no serious interest in getting married cause I feel I'll be taking up a responsibility that I already passed many years ago.

Finally, it's not as if I regret it but the attitude of some of them today makes me seriously consider whether that was the right thing to do on my part

You are a low Spirit Bro.

You are the one that did charity with expectations of recognition & gratitude from fellow Human... Nah, Human are ingrates even to the God that created us talkless of fellow Men like you ....

I did what you did for 5 of my siblings out of 11 of them .... it really affected me but I have watched Many Soldier/War Movies to Know that ... Just do Your own & Move Da fvq On ....

One of them even backbite me to the family that I was the one instructing them never to visit the extended family again .... Person wey pass through me for B.Eng & I still Marry for wey me never marry ooo.... Awon Omo Weyrey...... Me wey no well ... she thought after B.Eng she don see life ...... Who dey beg na ...

If you ain't a Wizard, Some Endeavours would make you hate yourself but if you do it for God(Good), The Spirit of Good(I.e.) Would Reward You beyond your expectations of "Thank-You" ..........

I was called into family meeting, I blasted them all that If they(Family) did their jobs ... I'm not the one that suppose run those Pikins school ... I Denied ever teaching anyone against them but I said worst to them & drop cup like Olamide did at Headies.....

If you wanna help people, who is helping you ..

If you don't have God, You can't emancipate people because you will be depleted while they rise & the Demon would make you blame yourself with regrets just to evolve your wicked side ....

Do it for God & Move On like a Soldier that You are serving His Commander-In-Chief(God)- You will be Rewarded by Nature & They will all come to Apologise when they see doings!

Krismas:
Reading thru many responses on this thread, reveals to me the obvious reasons why the reptilians invest in so much false education and manipulation. Many are still yet to understand what this earth is all about.
Perhaps Karma is useless. Its the greatest law running the earth nevertheless.
Maybe death is pointless. thats part of the delusion actually.
U see Life, is a different kettle of fish. It cannot be baseless.
What if i told u, your real age, is not less than two billion?

is he being recycled?

emmaodet:
You know, your story touched me. Reason why am a bit cold nowadays.
They say I am very selfish now and self centered and Yes, I am and boldly proud of it.
I have come to realize that people are users. If you allow them, they will use you, use you and use you until you are left with chaffs and then they will dispose you.
Family oo, friends oo, pastors ooo.. all of them and at the end of the day, do you know what they will say? The same old statement - what have you done for us?
Have heard this many times from my Dad, Mum, girlfriend, brothers etc and now I am more focused on my life.
I roofed my parent building for them to relocate from face you and slap you rent apartment to their own house, bougth them Nissan Pathfinder, did many things, contributed in sending my immediate brother to UAE on work visa and many more and what did I get? What have you done.
I am patiently waiting for my dad to alter that statement again and he will be surprised how am going to explode at him.
You are a pensioner earning 50k in today's Nigeria and am giving you 100k extra per month aside pumping machine is bad, generator is bad etc that I do fix yet this year alone, he has altered that statement like 3 times saying people always think am the one feeding him - is it your salary feeding you?
I don't know why people are so ungrateful by default.
Have heard my uncle's alter that statement to my mum after all she did to bring them from village to city and have heard that statement said to me too.
It is a crazy world

Ya PA & Ya uncle shares genetic of ungrateful Ones !

Sirchiboy:
I wish I knew:

1. Don't lend anyone money, just give the little you have to the person and tell him not to return it.

2. Don't fight over a woman let her go good one will come.

3. Don't have a land dispute with anyone, accept the boundaries as claimed by defendant. Me dey follow the rules now.

Add yours

1.To be good and ruthless... instead of been nice and careless

2. Nothing like sure odds

3.When you face life the hard way it becomes easier, when you face life the easy way,it becomes harder

otele:
I understand where you are coming from. But in the final analysis, it shouldnt take a lot to marry and have at least one kid. You dont need to be a millionaire to marry. There are people who I know, still living under their father's roof, but have a job that pays a little. They married someone and had one kid. Eventually they left their father's home, and slowly started rising but by the age of 40 he already had an 18 yo son who is an adult. some of his mates were still trying to 'settle' before marriage, at 40. You will never have a perfect time to marry while under 40. and if you are financially stable (whatever that mean) and ready to marry, if you are from eastern nigeria, your marriage list go reach heaven. But if you are a kid that just started life, you may have a more reasonable list.

Just start. I had a friend that had no job, he married, here in london, many years ago. His wife was earning a little money. He later stabilized and they have 3 kids . . . all grown.

If I have any regret, it is not marrying early. I'm in my late 30s now, i'm stable, but I have slept with so many girls that I have developed a distrust for the female gender and a distaste for marriage. This wouldnt have been the case if I married 15yrs ago. I am mad at myself now.

I know of a guy that married young, lost his job , struggled and struggled to feed for the family and ended up dying before he reached 40 due to some underlying health issues caused by acute stress. last last life no get manual.