₦airaland Forum

I am sitting down on my WC ready for number two, enjoying my toileting experience in absolute peace and quiet, and these thoughts just crept up into my mind.

It's like I was musing and conducting a sort of internal dialogue with myself and would want to have the inputs of fellow Nairalanders to see if I am wrong in my thought process.

I noticed that women from certain tribes move on easily after a marriage relationship compared to others.

That is, they are married with kids, the husband dies or divorces them, or even the ones whose husbands left and traveled find it very easy to move on to other relationships.

I will be talking about Edo, Yoruba, and Igbo women as case studies. Those are the ones I have observed, and the same pattern is playing out.

My wife's grandfather married an Edo woman who had four kids from a previous relationship. The husband had kicked her out because she had four daughters and no son. She found and married my wife's grandfather, who was never married. Together, they had five children and were married for more than fifty years.

One guy that I know from Osun State left his wife with kids and traveled for greener pastures in Europe. Within two years, his wife was pregnant for his friend.

My grandmother from Imo State was an early widow at 31 when her husband died, and she never remarried all her life.

I know of a neighbor, an Igbo lady, whose husband left for abroad and never returned for more than 20 years. This lady never remarried nor flirted; she was just focused on raising her children, and I can give several examples off the top of my head.

My conclusion is, Igbo women, once they are married or have kids, if their husband dies or divorces them, it is very hard for them to get into another marriage relationship all their lives.

I am not saying women from certain tribes are promiscuous. It may be the fault of Igbo men, who see single mothers as damaged goods, but from my experience, it is rare for them to move on.

In contrast, women from Edo or Yoruba find it easy to move on after a marriage breakdown. Even the Igbo women who are widows, no matter how young, find it hard to get into a new relationship compared to their counterparts.

Have you noticed a similar pattern? Let's rub minds and discuss.

Oh, before I forget, I need to wipe myself, flush, and get off the toilet. Hehehe.

When you point one finger at others, three of your fingers point right back at you accusing you of being worse than the people that you are pointing to. You just took single example just to generalise tribes, there are several examples of igbo women out there that moved on less than a year after their husbands died or divorced them. There are still many examples of igbo women who were still collecting other people's gbolas while still married. Is yule Edochie's present wife not igbo? Is Stephanie Okereke not igbo? Is clarion Chukwura not igbo? How about Stella Damasus, Monalisa Chinda, Ann Njemanze, Tonto Dike?

Wipe your Doty behind fast, you tribalist , You just dey chew unnecessary turkey

Those ladies with children marry non-Igbos mostly. Honestly, I think Igbo men mostly go fresh ladies and these other tribes have tendencies to still fall in love. If you are a single mother, the chances of an Igbo guy marrying you is very slim compared to these tribes I mentioned.

I am not saying this to disparage the Igbos to be honest, just an observation. If the husband dies and the Igbo lady has children, there are tendencies that she may remain unmarried for life. I think they stay with their husband more and find it hard to move on when the relationship ends. It might be a cultural thing though.

oz4real83:
When you point one finger at others, three of your fingers point right back at you accusing you of being worse than the people that you are pointing to. You just took single example just to generalise tribes, there are several examples of igbo women out there that moved on less than a year after their husbands died or divorced them. There are still many examples of igbo women who were still collecting other people's gbolas while still married. Is yule Edochie's present wife not igbo? Is Stephanie Okereke not igbo? Is clarion Chukwura not igbo?

Hisroyalbadmeat:
Wipe your Doty behind fast, you tribalist , You just dey chew unnecessary turkey

Go school, mbanu!

basic reading and comprehension dey hard you!

Anu mpataka!

Nnamdipapa:
Those ladies with children marry non-Igbos mostly. Honestly, I think Igbo men mostly go fresh ladies and these other tribes have tendencies to still fall in love. If you are a single mother, the chances of an Igbo guy marrying you is very slim compared to these tribes I mentioned.

I am not saying this to disparage the Igbos to be honest, just an observation. If the husband dies and the Igbo lady has children, there are tendencies that she may remain unmarried for life. I think they stay with their husband more and find it hard to move on when the relationship ends. It might be a cultural thing though.

In your mind now, Yule Edochie married a fresh lady? Your reply to my comment shows that you are just a tribalist and will never be objective to sane reasoning. I won't reply you anymore.

oz4real83:
In your mind now, Yule Edochie married a fresh lady? Your reply to my comment shows that you are just a tribalist and will never be objective to sane reasoning. I won't reply you anymore.

That lady was single when she dated Yul nau. Was she a single mum.

Nnamdipapa:
That lady was single when she dated Yul nau. Was she a single mum.

you just open thread on issues you know nothing about, you want to pretend you didn't know she had two kids before for her husband.

Nnamdipapa:
I am sitting down on my WC ready for number two, enjoying my toileting experience in absolute peace and quiet, and these thoughts just crept up into my mind.

It's like I was musing and conducting a sort of internal dialogue with myself and would want to have the inputs of fellow Nairalanders to see if I am wrong in my thought process.

I noticed that women from certain tribes move on easily after a marriage relationship compared to others.

That is, they are married with kids, the husband dies or divorces them, or even the ones whose husbands left and traveled find it very easy to move on to other relationships.

I will be talking about Edo, Yoruba, and Igbo women as case studies. Those are the ones I have observed, and the same pattern is playing out.

My wife's grandfather married an Edo woman who had four kids from a previous relationship. The husband had kicked her out because she had four daughters and no son. She found and married my wife's grandfather, who was never married. Together, they had five children and were married for more than fifty years.

One guy that I know from Osun State left his wife with kids and traveled for greener pastures in Europe. Within two years, his wife was pregnant for his friend.

My grandmother from Imo State was an early widow at 31 when her husband died, and she never remarried all her life.

I know of a neighbor, an Igbo lady, whose husband left for abroad and never returned for more than 20 years. This lady never remarried nor flirted; she was just focused on raising her children, and I can give several examples off the top of my head.

My conclusion is, Igbo women, once they are married or have kids, if their husband dies or divorces them, it is very hard for them to get into another marriage relationship all their lives.

I am not saying women from certain tribes are promiscuous. It may be the fault of Igbo men, who see single mothers as damaged goods, but from my experience, it is rare for them to move on.

In contrast, women from Edo or Yoruba find it easy to move on after a marriage breakdown. Even the Igbo women who are widows, no matter how young, find it hard to get into a new relationship compared to their counterparts.

Have you noticed a similar pattern? Let's rub minds and discuss.

Oh, before I forget, I need to wipe myself, flush, and get off the toilet. Hehehe.

Have you ever heard a word called "myopic"?

You are talking from myopic experience, perhaps you hardly travelled.

Let me give you examples of popular Igbo women who jumping from one hubby to another.

Judy Edoche.

Annie Njemaze

Stefanie Okereke.

Ngozi Nwosu.

Clarion Chukura.

You are free to goggles how their marriage collapsed, remarried and tribe they all come from.


These are famous o, in the streets, they are uncountable, some married up to four times, infact actress Blessings Nkechi, she cannot remember the number of relationships she involved and still counting.

Human beings are not different from other, what yoruba doing,Igbo will do the same if not worse.

Fiscus105:
Have you ever heard a word called "myopic"

You are talking from myopic experience, perhaps you hardly travel.

Let me give you example of popular Igbo women.

Judy Edoche.

Annie njemaze

Stefanie Okereke.

Ngozi nwosu.

Clarion Chukura.

You are free to goggles how their marriage collapsed and remarried and tribe they come from.


These are famous o, in the streets, they are uncountable, some married up to four times, infact actress blessings nkechi, even heself doesn't know how many relationships she involve and still counting.

Human beings are not different from other, what yoruba doing,Igbo will do the same if not worse.

Were they all married to Igbo men?

Name their husbands?

Nnamdipapa:
That lady was single when she dated Yul nau. Was she a single mum.

u yourself don't even know about your topic

She was married to one Mr obasi while misbehaving with Yul

Yy

Sharpsharp00123:
u yourself don't even know about your topic

She was married to one Mr obasi while misbehaving with Yul

Then state it if you know. I never claimed anywhere to be an expert on the subject matter.

Fiscus105:
Have you ever heard a word called "myopic"?

You are talking from myopic experience, perhaps you hardly travelled.

Let me give you examples of popular Igbo women who jumping from one hubby to another.

Judy Edoche.

Annie Njemaze

Stefanie Okereke.

Ngozi Nwosu.

Clarion Chukura.

You are free to goggles how their marriage collapsed and remarried and tribe they come from.


These are famous o, in the streets, they are uncountable, some married up to four times, infact actress blessings nkechi, even heself doesn't know how many relationships she involve and still counting.

Human beings are not different from other, what yoruba doing,Igbo will do the same if not worse.

Clarion dey vex. She thinks she is in the US.

As an Igbo woman, I’ll tell you it’s not about Igbo women being the most faithful or whatever.

Marriage comes with a lot of ties. It’s physical, emotional, psychological and of course family ties, formed connections and roots. Doing it with one person is more than enough. Even in the case of till death do us part, who wants to do that all over again? Your kids will now have multiple sets of grandparents? That’s why I don’t understand polygamous marriages.

This generalizing is irritating to say the least. You concluded with just 5 persons on the women population totaling over 20 million.

GboyegaD:
This generalizing is irritating to say the least. You concluded with just 5 persons on the women population totaling over 20 million.

It is neither a thesis nor a research topic.
It is my observation and you are free to contradict or agree.

I don't see anything that should irritate anyone there.

Nnamdipapa:
Were they all married to Igbo men?

Name their husbands?

Did post talk about hubby or Igbo women don't remarry easily? Did you ever place ur foot on four wall of such?

Nnamdipapa:
It is neither a thesis nor a research topic.
It is my observation and you are free to contradict or agree.

I don't see anything that should irritate anyone there.

You ended with a conclusion from your premise which is very faulty. You could have stated it as your observation and not put a premise and conclusion.

Nnamdipapa:
Those ladies with children marry non-Igbos mostly. Honestly, I think Igbo men mostly go fresh ladies and these other tribes have tendencies to still fall in love. If you are a single mother, the chances of an Igbo guy marrying you is very slim compared to these tribes I mentioned.

I am not saying this to disparage the Igbos to be honest, just an observation. If the husband dies and the Igbo lady has children, there are tendencies that she may remain unmarried for life. I think they stay with their husband more and find it hard to move on when the relationship ends. It might be a cultural thing though.

You are aint far from the truth, culture/customs are strong influence when it comes to marriages and remarry

Southwest to the best of my knowledge are the most liberalized from shackles of customs/culture and on a thought some part of Southsouth you mentioned are relative to southwest ...
You can easily find a yoruba marry a after one woman cos family/kinsmen allow full autonomy

As for South east, there customs/tradition are rigid-like, and rebelling against your kinsmen advisory mostly come with consequences

You can see a yoruba boy live all his life in Lagos or kaduna, but can still get privilege in his state of origin at any time, But a igbo man that dare to stay away from is hometown knows he stands no privilege among his kinsmen.


Regional flexibility is key to the discourse

cococandy:
As an Igbo woman, I’ll tell you it’s not about Igbo women being the most faithful or whatever.

Marriage comes with a lot of ties. It’s physical, emotional, psychological and of course family ties, formed connections and roots. Doing it with one person is more than enough. Even in the case of till death do us part, who wants to do that all over again? Your kids will now have multiple sets of grandparents? That’s why I don’t understand polygamous marriages.

Lets not leave snake nd be shooting earthworm, the limiting factor for marriage or re marriage is the
RIGID CUSTOMS & TRADITION of igboland, revolting against kinsmen stand sometimes come with consequences or sanction

I Observe my Igbo friends don't joke with there hometown, its almost like an umbilical usb cord that must remain connected,

how igbo man wan convince his kinsmen to allow him marry a widow or after two woman ... it is there word over his

GboyegaD:
You ended with a conclusion from your premise which is very faulty. You could have stated it as your observation and not put a premise and conclusion.

Your response does not relate to the thread, move on if you have nothing meaningful to contribute.

Hmmmm....humans always crave companionship

Humans find happiness in sharing their world with others

Good companionship breeds happiness and longevity

Would you rather a jilted lover or widow miss out on this? Would you as a man prefer to be single forever if your wife leaves one way or the other?

People always have a problem with other people's choices, especially when it seems positive .

It is simply positive to move on after a failed relationship. Geskia

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....humans always grave companionship

Humans find happiness in sharing their world with others

Good companionship breeds happiness and longevity

Would you rather a jilted lover or widow miss out on this? Would you as a man prefer to be single forever if your wife leaves one way or the other?

People always have a problem with other people's choices, especially when it seems positive .

It is simply positive to move on after a failed relationship. Geskia

I do not condemn those women for moving on. I read about a white woman who found true love in the third marriage after two divorces. She was married for 30 years in the third marriage. I am kind of wondering if it is cultural or societal as I have seen about 3 or 4 Igbo early widows in their 30ies who decided to stay and not marry till old age.

I have a distant relative from Osun State, he went abroad to hustle and the wife in Naija got pregnant before he returned, he said he would never marry Yoruba lady again as they move on easily in the absence of the man. He subsequently married an Igbo lady in Lagos, left her in Nigeria and travelled back abroad, this lady waited faithfully for him more than three years before finally relocating to meet him in the UK.

Even while in the UK, he was married to an old white lady for documents, the new wife stood by him. They have been married for more than 25 years now with grown kids.

You see what I mean?

donself9:
Lets not leave snake nd be shooting earthworm, the limiting factor for marriage or re marriage is the
RIGID CUSTOMS & TRADITION of igboland, revolting against kinsmen stand sometimes come with consequences or sanction

I Observe my Igbo friends don't joke with there hometown, its almost like an umbilical usb cord that must remain connected,

how igbo man wan convince his kinsmen to allow him marry a widow or after two woman ... it is there word over his

Thank you my brother. You hit the nail on the head that lots of people are trying to avoid. I have seen these things play out in real life and the single mom Igbo lady never finding suitors among singe Igbo men, while her counterparts find it very easy to move on. I have seen women alone in their thirties raising kids and not able or unwilling to find suitors till their old ages.

cococandy:
As an Igbo woman, I’ll tell you it’s not about Igbo women being the most faithful or whatever.

Marriage comes with a lot of ties. It’s physical, emotional, psychological and of course family ties, formed connections and roots. Doing it with one person is more than enough. Even in the case of till death do us part, who wants to do that all over again? Your kids will now have multiple sets of grandparents? That’s why I don’t understand polygamous marriages.

I think they stick with and are attached to their husbands the most compared to other tribes even when maltreated by the husband. That may translate to being more faithful in my opinion.

Nnamdipapa:
I do not condemn those women for moving on. I read about a white woman who found true love in the third marriage after two divorces. She was married for 30 years in the third marriage. I am kind of wondering if it is cultural or societal as I have seen about 3 or 4 Igbo early widows in their 30ies who decided to stay and not marry till old age.

I have a distant relative from Osun State, he went abroad to hustle and the wife in Naija got pregnant before he returned, he said he would never marry Yoruba lady again as they move on easily in the absence of the man. He subsequently married an Igbo lady in Lagos, left her in Nigeria and travelled back abroad, this lady waited faithfully for him more than three years before finally relocating to meet him in the UK.

Even while in the UK, he was married to an old white lady for documents, the new wife stood by him. They have been married for more than 25 years now with grown kids.

You see what I mean?

You more or less answered yourself in the original post....for marriage, Igbo clan tend to look down on previously married women and they have even more complicated outlook when there are children involved. Besides, getting a wife is very easy for the typical Igbo man so long as he has money and his villagers keep birthing females children. What's love got to do with anything?

Whereas, in the SW, things are very different.

sisisioge:
You more or less answered yourself in the original post....for marriage, Igbo clan tend to look down on previously married women and they have even more complicated outlook when there are children involved. Besides, getting a wife is very easy for the typical Igbo man so long as he has money and his villagers keep birthing females children. What's love got to do with anything?

Whereas, in the SW, things are very different.

I agree with you. I love the practice in the SW though as the women are mostly at a disadvantage in the SE. I love for a lady to be able to easily move on and find happiness. I was reading about a white lady who had found happiness in her third marriage after two divorces. She is now married happily for that 30 years.