₦airaland Forum

Ever since i moved abroad, I have attempted to date some of our Nigerian sisters abroad purely because of the value and culture we share as a people. However i have noticed how i am being treated with disdain maybe in part due to not having my papers yet. I told a colleague at work who wanted to match make me that i would prefer someone without papers like me. i am on a work visa haven schooled here.

A few of my Nigerian friends who are here have all married interracially, and the issue of being PR/Citizen was not an issue at all. I am on a pathway to PR via my employer and should i get PR today, the legal status of who i marry would not matter at all. The things that matter to me most are the character, respect and regard you give me.

I have thought of going to Nigeria, but that comes with so much risk and challenges. why should i even go that far when there are other Nigerans here.

Alot of Indians and Asians for the most part marry within their community, is there a reason why ours is different ?

Is having PR/Citizen holding us back from having healthy relationships?

It is. We get plenty of these feedback. They're treating you down right badly. Look beyond Nigerians bro

Smile4mee01:
Is having PR/Citizen holding us back from having healthy relationships?

Don't be naive....only men can marry a jobless woman with no degree or nothing....women will mention all manner of standards and requirement with their full chest and y'all still believe they love you....

.....I dont like foreign women like that...but once u are abroad it's best to look away from nigerian women cos most have switch to street/survival mode because of papers

#men are stvpid...women are in business

Smile4mee01:
✓Ever since i moved abroad, I have attempted to date some of our Nigerian sisters abroad purely because of the value and culture we share as a people. However i have noticed how i am being treated with disdain maybe in part due to not having my papers yet. I told a colleague at work who wanted to match make me that i would prefer someone without papers like me. i am on a work visa haven schooled here.
A few of my Nigerian friends who are here have all married interracially, and the issue of being PR/Citizen was not an issue at all. I am on a pathway to PR via my employer and should i get PR today, the legal status of who i marry would not matter at all. The things that matter to me most are the character, respect and regard you give me.
I have thought of going to Nigeria, but that comes with so much risk and challenges. why should i even go that far when there are other Nigerans here.
Alot of Indians and Asians for the most part marry within their community, is there a reason why ours is different ?
Is having PR/Citizen holding us back from having healthy relationships?

From what I have learnt of this, women consider men like you of high risk that is why they do not date men without papers. Why not channel that dating energy you have into developing yourself and getting your papers so you can become less risky for your kind of women to date. I mean this is abroad where the rules regarding what is most important is completely flipped from that which you are used to in Nigeria. 🧐

Klass99:
But you raised this same issue last year or was it 2023? Are you saying you still haven't met anyone from Naija who shares the same sentiments about culture and wants to settle down? I told you then to be open to dating women from other African countries, our culture and values tend to be similar in Africa. You either do that or come back home to find a wife or follow your friends and marry from a different race.

And yes, I think PR/Citizenship is holding Naija diasporans back from healthy relationships. It tends to make most of you self-conceited to a point where you start to look down on your own or start to think you are far better than others who do not have PR/Citizenship, yet. Hasn't that been your experience?

It makes me wonder though, what else can they offer besides foreign citizenship? There's one clown on this forum whose major value proposition was citizenship of his host country, to a woman he was contemplating marrying, in his small mind that was a huge thing and perhaps for some women it is too. However, for folks like me who are not enamoured with the white man, relocation or foreign citizenship, that was a crap load of BS. I'll kick your ass to the curb with that kind of talk.

Go girl! You rock!

Op, you need not have a closed mindset, be open minded when it comes to socializing and dating abroad.

I find it very easy to date here compared to when I was in Nigeria. I am really surprised when people complain of having diffulties in that area. As a black lady abroad, things may be a tad bit difficult but for a black guy, na if you understand the system.

It is harder for our women here but not the guys.

That's because your people see dating and getting married to a European as an achievement while they consider dating their fellow Nigerians abroad as a downgrade.

And please nairalanders, don't come for my head, I'm very sensitive...🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

Unfortunately, it is what it is. Good side is you will meet the right person who will look beyond your status. Most importantly, forget culture and go for someone you love and who loves you in return. I have friends who are married to people of other races and they are happy.

If you insist on a Nigerian lady, go to Nigerian places of worship. If you are a good person, people will make referral of good ladies to you that you can choose from one that aligns with your ideology and whom both of you are willing to love each other and work on your relationship together.