₦airaland Forum

BigIyanga:
Story. 50% of 1st marriages in the US end up in divorce. Divorce rate for 2nd marriages is 67%~70%
Divorce rate for lesbian couple is 72%-75%
So help me find trust X in all these stats.

Just pray your wife doesn’t have a bad friend

[quote author=wendy120 post=133981628]Lol so women are deescalators? Men cannot deescalate? I have no RIp to waste for him. Of you move to western countries, remember there are laws there and there are consequences. You can't continue to behave like a Nigerian man who has been trained to violate a woman's right. If you want to be happy, it's in your hands. [/quot

One thing I have come to realise is that the women who eventually understand how some women can be evil and manipulative against their husbands abroad are women that have sons that became victims.

All over the internet, there are documentaries of how innocent men are framed up and destroyed in marriages and relationships and yet you keep typing this.

May God help us all.

Mentholated:
"He came after his wife and kids with a gun and held them for 3 hrs" and this told you that he had anger management issues. So for 3 hours, the anger did not make him to shoot his wife

Any spouse that understands the system knows you can keep a trail of manufactured evidence for future purposes.

This is her husband for goodness sake. You are not even getting to my point.

Most modern wives have little or no clue the level of influence they have over their husbands. Just a smile, the right words or a good text message is enough to deescalate things.

https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2025/2/he-klled-himself-to-avoid-paying-1900-francis-van-lare-alleges-his-daughters-partner-who-took-his-life-was-a-dead-beat-dad-denies-report-of-15k-per-month-child-support.html

most of what i had said before has come out

a simple internet check will show the guys license is not revoked
the guy was not paying 15k but 1900k and he was not paying it on time or regularly
the lady did not collect alimony as she is fully self sufficient
the doctor was mandated to pay the money because one of the children is a special needs child
the doctor had a restraining order as far back as 2023 for domestic violence

google the lady suzette van-lare
she had an athletic scholarship
she has a medical degree


but some dirty paupers whose only reality as wretched Nigerian beta males is barely educated hungry urgent 2k transactional chicks who do not show after collecting 2k transport fare -
and they have projected that myopic backward jaundiced pauper view into a case of domestic violence

who remembers opeyemi mabawonku of PWC?
https://www.instagram.com/dailypostngr/reel/DBqSZzauxBT/

same energy. if this had happened abroad he too would likely have been in court for domestic abuse and slapped with a restraining order.

or are we waiting to see a video like this before it gets into their misogynist poverty stricken heads?

GloriousGbola:
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2025/2/he-klled-himself-to-avoid-paying-1900-francis-van-lare-alleges-his-daughters-partner-who-took-his-life-was-a-dead-beat-dad-denies-report-of-15k-per-month-child-support.html

most of what i had said before has come out

a simple internet check will show the guys license is not revoked
the guy was not paying 15k but 1900k and he was not paying it on time or regularly
the lady did not collect alimony as she is fully self sufficient
the doctor was mandated to pay the money because one of the children is a special needs child
the doctor had a restraining order as far back as 2023 for domestic violence

google the lady suzette val-lere
she had an athletic scholarship
she has a medical degree


but some dirty paupers whose only reality as wretched Nigerian beta males is barely educated hungry urgent 2k transactional chicks who do not show after collecting 2k transport fare -
and they have projected that myopic backward jaundiced pauper view into a case of domestic violence

who remembers opeyemi mabawonku of PWC?
https://www.instagram.com/dailypostngr/reel/DBqSZzauxBT/

same energy. if this had happened abroad he too would likely have been in court for domestic abuse and slapped with a restraining order.

or are we waiting to see a video like this before it gets into their misogynist poverty stricken heads?

Let me break it down for you so you will understand what some people are trying to tell you.

Let's say you are a man, married with kids or have a baby mama in the USA. If you start having serious issues with your significant other, her friends might advice her on what to do to have an advantage in case of the future.

You might think you have having an innocent argument with her,she will record it and add salt and pepper

BOOM

Restraining order.

You will keep defending one false allegation to another.

He said, she said.

Like I type earlier, the women that end up understanding this are those that have sons that are victims.

It is deeply traumatizing.

legitnow1:
SEE EHN, THE BOLDED IS WHERE U EXPOSED YOURSELF AS A GOLD DIGGER.

U ARE STILL LOOKING FOR BENEFIT OVER HIS DEAD BODY.

BENEFIT THAT A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU RAISED AND INVESTED INTO FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN.

LIKE I SAID, GUYS BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT THEY BRING INTO THEIR HOME.

NA U KNOW WHETHER THEM THEY PAY BENEFT AFTER LICENCE REVOKED AS YOU SAID OR PERHAPS IT IS HIS DEBT AND MORTAGE THAT YOU WANT TO INHERIT.

Lol..... Every woman who fights for her rights in a divorce case especially where she has kids is a gold digger to a broke and poor man( especially mentally poor men)..... U no know who her papa be? So, if she is your sister, she should leave the marriage empty handed while you as the man easily adjust to normal life again and she struggling to put her life together?

I have said you could have fish brâin in your genes but YOU no wan gree( lol).

Your type of men understimate women and the extent they can go especially when they will lose out more if care isnt taken.

If u like, continue to carry this your village, selfish, wicked mentality even to western world and treat women anyhow and expect no repercussions.

As a Nurse, I will NOT trade with my license for ANYONE.

Loosing one's life for material things one can negotiate over is almost like foolishness. I thank God for the kind of men around my life from inception ( father, brother, cousins etc). Even fiery Lawyer Keyamo left custody for his wife without gra gra.

Get sense Biko

Mentholated:
Let me break it down for you so you will understand what some people are trying to tell you.

Let's say you are a man, married with kids or have a baby mama in the USA. If you start having serious issues with your significant other, her friends might advice her on what to do to have an advantage in case of the future.

You might think you have having an innocent argument with her,she will record it and add salt and pepper

BOOM

Restraining order.

You will keep defending one false allegation to another.

He said, she said.

Like I type earlier, the women that end up understanding this are those that have sons that are victims.

It is deeply traumatizing.

let me break it down for you

the west is not Nigeria where you will lay hands on your wife and she will be told to take it
the west is not nigeria where you can seperate from your wife and refuse to cater to your children
the west is not nigeria where marriage is do or die and an achievement

an 'innocent argument' does not lead to a restraining order

if you are not ready to face this reality, then stay in nigeria - and if you are a man with money - marry a barely educated pauper who will be so in awe of her elevated status that she will take whatever you dish out

have you gone through the story on linda ikejis blog?

the longer you keep this up, the more the later ikenna erinnes reputation will be dragged through the mud
Francis Van-Lare has receipts and will not let some nigerian paupers project their wretched reality onto his daughter

the dad is posting court records and payment records and you are still calling it allegations
stop being emotional.
this is actually why i love electronic records.
anyone can fish out the court records of this matter

grow up and come to terms with the reality that the world is not nigeria where you can beat your wife and get away with it, or where you wife will be dependent on you

GloriousGbola:
let me break it down for you

the west is not Nigeria where you will lay hands on your wife and she will be told to take it
the west is not nigeria where you can seperate from your wife and refuse to cater to your children
the west is not nigeria where marriage is do or die and an achievement

an 'innocent argument' does not lead to a restraining order

if you are not ready to face this reality, then stay in nigeria - and if you are a man with money - marry a barely educated pauper who will be so in awe of her elevated status that she will take whatever you dish out

have you gone through the story on linda ikejis blog?

the longer you keep this up, the more the later ikenna erinnes reputation will be dragged through the mud
Francis Van-Lare has receipts and will not let some nigerian paupers project their wretched reality onto his daughter

the dad is posting court records and payment records and you are still calling it allegations
stop being emotional.
this is actually why i love electronic records.
anyone can fish out the court records of this matter

grow up and come to terms with the reality that the world is not nigeria where you can beat your wife and get away with it, or where you wife will be dependent on you

A woman can easily get a restraining order on her spouse in the USA, ask around.

I am not being emotional. These are TEMPORARY COURT HEARINGS. This meant that they were still allegations. He was not convicted so he was innocent until proven otherwise.

Mentholated:
A woman can easily get a restraining order on her spouse in the USA, ask around.

I am not being emotional. These are TEMPORARY COURT HEARINGS. This meant that they were still allegations. He was not convicted so he was innocent until proven otherwise.

a 'temporary' court hearing going as to 2023?
are you waiting for the dad to spill even more?
already the late doctor is looking like a cheap deadbeat who found it hard to pay $1900 to take care of his special needs child.
this is not nigeria where you can use money as blackmail
even more importantly - suzette is not a trophy wife gold digger who was elevated from poverty by the grace of her late husband

please, you guys should keep applying pressure. the dad started out by being civilised and respecting the dead
rest assured going to your estranged wife's house with a gun is not an act carried out in isolation. it is an escalation of acts of violence and stalking and over the next few days more of this will come out and be spilled over the internet

Why do you need to pray?

adetayoonas:
Just pray your wife doesn’t have a bad friend

gentlemate00:
Why do you need to pray?

Good question

Ilekokonit:
Western kids no get sense like that and their Mums always turn them against their Dads (dead or living) by telling them lies and bribing them with expensive toys/gifts to buy them to their side in any marital dispute.

I know someone in London whose Ex used to spit her saliva into their baby daughters food and mix it up before feeding their daughter so that the kid will love her more than the father. I heard thats how they feed dogs in rural Nigeria so that the dog will not bite the owner.

God help us.

Mentholated:
This is not an issue of cultural gap. They are both human beings and should have some level of empathy.

This guy went to medical school in USA. He was a cardiologist at 36yrs. He was your husband. You both have 2 kids.

WHAT HAPPENED??

That is the core question people are asking?

He was not a failed rapper from Brooklyn.

"And he also failed to take care of his kids" A full blown doctor that worked hard to achieve his status suddenly becomes stupid for no reason. Who believe this nonsense?

GloriousGbola:
The man came after his wife and kids with a gun. That tells you he has anger management issues. In Nigeria women are taught to manage this. You will remember we saw a video of a pwc lawyer attacking his wife on camera. The whole matter has been died since then. So Nigerians are expected to tolerate domestic violence even to the point of death. Americans are not.

That is one example of cultural differences

To the people asking what happened - and be very careful what you wish for. Everything that led up to this point was documented. Anyone holding his wife and children at gunpoint already has a documented history of violence

You may find there were restraining orders.

Any news or police report to corroborate this story Dr IK held his ex and kids to a gun point ? Nothing is popping up.

BigIyanga:
Any news or police report to corroborate this story Dr IK held his ex and kids to a gun point ? Nothing is popping up.

The story came from the girl's dad who happened to be the same guy that published a list of 70 women he allegedly slept with in 2023.

No other source till now.

BigIyanga:
Any news or police report to corroborate this story Dr IK held his ex and kids to a gun point ? Nothing is popping up.

I no sure say any news like that dey sef.. Na from the girl papa mouth I bin hear am

BigIyanga:
Any news or police report to corroborate this story Dr IK held his ex and kids to a gun point ? Nothing is popping up.

same way there is no news of the doctors suicide outside of naija bloggers

sooner or later the news will come out

i hope you are no longer subscribing to the story that a doctor earning over 500gs a year killed himself because of 15k/month child support.

P. Diddy to Pay $21000 a month in child support
WLTX
https://www.wltx.com › article › news › local › fyi › p-di...
Block this site
9 Apr 2005 — Hip-hop star Sean "P. Diddy" Combs has been ordered to pay more than $21000 a month in child support to an ex-girlfriend with whom he has an ...

this is how bloggers pulled up the kind figures being paid by billionaire celebrities to spice a story

by now it should be clear to you that this was a misguided attempt by the family and friends of the late dr to seize the narrative by keying into the poverty mentality of patriarchal nigerians

now the story is all over the Nigerian internet and the sordid details will be drawn out.

this did not have to happen.

WHAT A WASTE. HE SHOULD HAVE RELOCATED TO NIGERIA.

Okay.
I appreciate

mmsen:

It was gathered that the Anambra-state-born late doctor had a prolonged divorce battle with his estranged wife, including the custody of their children.

Third line of the article.

wendy120:
Of course, since your wife is from 4 generations of poverty and very ugly, why won't you not?

In 2025 girls travel on their own

Olodo with no functional medula. You do not measure up with my wife in any ramification of life. You wayward women of this generation do not know what it entails to be married hence your foolish comment

luminouz:
Rara o dealslip our ancestral mother of Methuselah age. I'm speaking for you.

Come and wooze me na!!!

You no sabi mi. Na your female relatives you sabi. You speak for them

wendy120:
Seriously,I come to nairaland to laugh. I come from a generation of women who have all traveled to at least 10 countries. These freaks must come from very poor communities. I hope they heal

honestly the way they reason is almost senseless. Thinking every woman is a beggar and can't survive without them

luminouz:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... This one doesn't know me. Infact, I'm still inside the womb. Marry people of similar values like it's written on the forehead or girls will tell the truth? Nah today una dey pretend...and once you are in America,your true colors go emerge. Please go and sit down.

That's for the poor girls you people marry who haven't visited America or stepped out of the country before. If a person is mean they are are mean, it's not the system that changes them. If you can't decipher people's values from what they hold dear, it speaks a lot about your ability to judge things properly.

Drella:
Because they sell citizenship like Gala, right?

If he doesn’t file for her, let her have her own money, she can’t become a citizen through marriage to him.

You have clearly exposed your ignorance about obtaining citizenship of other countries. That's why I am telling you all that marry poor girls and then dangle taking them abroad as a condition for behaving right. Women who have capacity to sponsor themselves will do it without any man or marriage. Ever heard of visas given on the basis of qualifications in tech, or other professional visas, it's your qualifications that gets you those ones not marriage. Reason we tell girls to improve on themselves so they don't need insecure men dangling condescending qualifications over their head.

BigIyanga:
You’re still sounding confused usual.. so u haven't used your trust analogy to answer why there is a very high rate of divorce amongst Naija in the US. Why do courts in Naija/US treat marriages as pure legal transactions and agreements … not solely on trust?

You are merely diverting the topic because you can't answer the question I asked. You brought up the statistics on marriage, since you are the expert at calculating statistics of broken marriage. Provide the one for Nigeria.

dealslip:
That's for the poor girls you people marry who haven't visited America or stepped out of the country before. If a person is mean they are are mean, it's not the system that changes them. If you can't decipher people's values from what they hold dear, it speaks a lot about your ability to judge things properly.

Yeah go ahead and blame me na....for why the so called wife turned on the husband. Oh yes! The husband must have done something to trigger her or oh, he didn't judge her values right. He is at fault.

Can you be less obvious about your hypocrisy? Damn!!!

dealslip:
You no sabi mi. Na your female relatives you sabi. You speak for them

Rara seh....na you I sabi!!!

Nah you...abroadian with big lips. E don dey pepper you ma you are now referring to my relatives.🤣🤣🤣

dealslip:
honestly the way they reason is almost senseless. Thinking every woman is a beggar and can't survive without them

Can you?

No be man sire you,fed you,sent you to school?

With a man,will you ever get to where you are now?

luminouz:
Rara seh....na you I sabi!!!

Nah you...abroadian with big lips. E don dey pepper you ma you are now referring to my relatives.🤣🤣🤣

Pepper from a faceless little boy online,,🤣🤣. Still collecting pocket money from Mummy and Daddy. I have referred your female relatives from the onset so nothing new. Na your poor female relatives who need a man to take them abroad you sabi well 🤣🤣🤣

luminouz:
Can you?

No be man sire you,fed you,sent you to school?

With a man,will you ever get to where you are now?

No be woman carry you, born you and nurture you. That woman still dey nurture till now🤣🤣

wendy120:
Seriously,I come to nairaland to laugh. I come from a generation of women who have all traveled to at least 10 countries. These freaks must come from very poor communities. I hope they heal

Again..it's always about money to you lots. Don't you have shame? Everything has to revolve around money to make sense to you. How in hell do you know which country I am or how much money I have in the bank? I'm talking about values, integrity,honesty, good heart and peace of mind that comes from women who are not using men for papers and you think it's money or travel experience I lacked?

How does your generational waka-waka experience affect your attitude to your men? Or being to 20,000 countries show that you are a good woman?

Why dafuq am I conversing with these set of potato-heads nitori olorun?

luminouz:
Again..it's always about money to you lots. Don't you have shame? Everything has to revolve around money to make sense to you. How in hell do you know which country I am or how much money I have in the bank? I'm talking about values, integrity,honesty, good heart and peace of mind that comes from women who are not using men for papers and you think it's money or travel experience I lacked?

How does your generational waka-waka experience affect your attitude to your men? Or being to 20,000 countries show that you are a good woman?

Why dafuq am I conversing with these set of potato-heads nitori olorun?

luminouz:
Yeah go ahead and blame me na....for why the so called wife turned on the husband. Oh yes! The husband must have done something to trigger her or oh, he didn't judge her values right. He is at fault.

Can you be less obvious about your hypocrisy? Damn!!!

Child you are confused 🤣🤣🤣, go get married first. I can't be conversing a child still collecting pocket money from Daddy and Mummy, because where the blaming you enter this conversation.