₦airaland Forum

nedu666:
Your husband is probably an introvert who lacks motivation because people probably his parents are the ones forcing him to be motivated including marriage. Now parents are not around, he cannot be motivated to Man up. I don't know if my analogy is true but am speaking from experience with someone.
You said you you discussed with your man and he walked out without saying anything. The same applies to the individual I am talking about. His wife eventually walked out of the marriage and dude did not bother to chase after the wife. It was his parents forcing him to go and bring the wife home.
Trust me until you leave your husband he will see no reason to change.

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

SouthAmericalif:
last week i told him since i have my passport let me just leave for cape verde and he said no that may be later then this people was calling my name for things i know nothing of, once i here there shouting sometimes i will just be shock in my heart, in my house out of tiredness from house chores cooking and business i sleep before every one but am pouring my heart here so i don’t commit suicide and i mean it

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

dominique:
I would have said OP is exaggerating if I didn't have an aunt that married a man EXACTLY like this. She slumped and died at the age of 42 leaving 2 young teenagers behind. There are so many irresponsible men like this out there yet they'll come online to diminish women's efforts, claim they're the ones paying all the bills and women are leeches. That's why I will continue to say it that Nigerian men are 100% worse than the women they constantly criticize

SouthAmericalif:
last week i told him since i have my passport let me just leave for cape verde and he said no that may be later then this people was calling my name for things i know nothing of, once i here there shouting sometimes i will just be shock in my heart, in my house out of tiredness from house chores cooking and business i sleep before every one but am pouring my heart here so i don’t commit suicide and i mean it

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

kingbee90:
So that you will continue with your laziness in her life from where that other man stopped?

You have failed.

tundebasic:
You mean you did all these for your man, yet he no work?
1. Bought a tricycle
2. Bought a Camry
3. Bought nylon making machine
4. You even pay rent, feeding, and sch fees

You are hardworking, and I respect you for that.

1. Well, if I may suggest, except you bought the Camry for Uber, you can sell it and buy a car for taxi instead. Let him drive while you manage (if you have a brother you trust, he can manage this).
2. Have a discuss with him, find out what he loves to do naturally, what he enjoys doing and can push without limits. That's his strength, invest in that.
3. Have a list of businesses, let him choose the one he likes to do. Then, navigate how to invest in it together.
4. Anything you decide to do don't contribute the 100%. Let him also have an input. Tell him to contribute 50% while you add the remaining 50%. He can get a loan for his part.

As for your neighbours, you can:
1. Report them to the landlord, let him take action.
2. Get a restraining order from the court or police (a lawyer will guide you on this).
3. Meet a lawyer on how to issue them a warning letter (if it exists) to let them know you will sue them for libel/slander if they don't desist.

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

SouthAmericalif:
i feel so depressed i have been suffering an injustice for too long and have not face anything been single living with my mum she gave me one million last year to add to what i have to japa and i converted it to usd and gave it to keep for me he misplaced it and we later find it
it’s 12:47 pm he saw me packing and told him why i am angry he has long fallen asleep when he knows am in tears

SouthAmericalif:
i am not quarreling or fighting with him, i feel depressed and stressed each passing day and he is not making it easy for me , i am not asking him to fight for me but as a man there are some measures you put in place to protect your family especially when you know i can never do anyone wrong but he is always mute to every thing and am carry too much burden that i can’t take care of myself my blood pressure is high and it has never been this high.
He should care for himself and i will do same if he doesn’t give me a valid reason to come back and not this house we are presently in then i will let the marriage go.
He knew fully well i didn’t sleep all through the night and it has never happened before but is 5:30am he is sleeping very soundly. It’s very easy to please me but i don’t think he has a heart.

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

ejire042:
✓ I recently came across this post that resonated deeply. I feel compelled to share my perspective, as I've experienced something similar. It seems many women risk losing good men due to their own behavior. They try to control their partners, and if the man isn't financially successful, they perceive him as weak and resort to silent treatment. While it's understandable to have financial security, using money to turn your husband into an errand boy diminishes him. You might even push him to the point where he withdraws, like when he refuses to fight your battles with neighbors, likely because he recognizes you're the source of the conflict.

The real issue isn't your husband; it's you. You need to focus on self-improvement and stop blaming him. He will likely be fine without you, but the same might not be true for you. If you find marriage to him stressful, imagine the alternative: living alone. Would that truly be better?
✓ I can relate to this from the other side. My wife once labeled me lazy and unambitious. I knew my own worth and refused to conform to her expectations just to prove something. I wouldn't take just any job to validate my manhood. I felt like a failure, and she found me less attractive. We were on the verge of collapse when my fortunes changed dramatically. Now, things are completely different. My income far surpasses hers. My tithe alone is far more than her monthly income. Now she appreciates her husband.
.

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

Ojemedad:
I don’t support weak and lazy men, a man is supposed to take care of responsibilities. My elder sister got married to a lazy man like this also. Until your sister is in such a situation you will not see anything wrong in it. My sister takes care of 95% of the house responsibilities, she recently completed her house this shameful man still moved in with her even though there are many works to be done in the house also . Men should be men.