₦airaland Forum

Somewhere in 1965, a chat goes down…

—Coup Plotters: "Awo, my guy! We hear say you dey chill for Calabar prison. How far, you wan commot or what?"

—Awolowo: "Ehen, my Ibo brothers! I know una love me die. Abeg, make una come rescue me, I don tire for this cell."

—Coup Plotters: "No wahala, Awo. We dey come with the masterplan. Hold tight!"

Fast forward to January 15, 1966…
So, the Igbo military squad, led by their "Awo Liberation Crew" (or so they claim), cook up a coup. But e be like say their GPS dey on shuffle mode. Here’s how it played out:

—Kaduna: Major Nzeogwu rolls in like, "Sardauna Ahmadu Bello, oga Hausa leader, your time don reach!" *Boom!* One Northern kingpin down.

—Lagos: Major Ifeajuna says, "Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, Prime Minister, you too na Hausa, bye-bye!" Bang!Then, "Festus Okotie-Eboh, Yoruba money man, you sef no escape!" Pow!

—Ibadan: Captain Nwobosi pulls up, "Ladoke Akintola, Western Premier, Yoruba don, sorry o, your villa na crime scene now!" *Blasted!*

—East: Crickets."Oh, no Igbo leaders to touch? Zik dey holiday, Orizu dey lowkey, no need to visit Enugu. We good!"

So, they’re out there dropping bodies—Hausa, Yoruba, anybody wey no align—but somehow, dem stroll past Calabar where Awo dey sip tea in prison. "Oh, we go come back for am later, make we first finish Lagos and Ibadan runs." Bros, una no even pack tire for the road trip?

After all the wahala, dem hand over power to… wait for it… Major General Aguiyi-Ironsi, their Igbo homeboy who just happened to be chilling in Lagos, miraculously spared while bullets fly everywhere. Ironsi dusts his uniform, grabs the mic, and says, "Head of State loading… Awo who? Prison where?" For six months, my man rules, and Awo? Still dey count prison bars. Not one Igbo soldier say, "Oya, let’s go Calabar, free our guy." E ti ya werey!

Then, July 1966, the Northern crew says, "Enough of this Igbo party!" Counter-coup time. Ironsi catches lead, Gowon steps up, and guess what? The same Northerner, Yakubu Gowon, looks at Awo and says, "Baba, you don suffer enough, come out abeg." August 1966, Awo strides out of prison, free as a bird—courtesy of a Hausa-Fulani man, not one Igbo "savior."

Fast forward to today, Igbo boys be like, "Bruh, we staged that coup for Awo, na our guy!" *Laughs in Yoruba and Hausa.* You k!ll Bello, Balewa, Akintola, Okotie-Eboh, spare your own, hand power to Ironsi who no even send Awo postcard, and na Northerner release am. Yet una dey shout, "We did it for Awolowo!" Bros, una dey wear winter cap for Lagos sun—clueless reloaded! 😂

PresidObi:
Haters

PresidObi:
—Kaduna: Major Nzeogwu rolls in like, "Sardauna Ahmadu Bello, oga Hausa leader, your time don reach!" *Boom!* One Northern kingpin down.


Which Oga Hausa leader, Kaduna was a northerner in every respect. He has never been in any part of Igboland in all his life, he never learnt how to speak Okpanam dialect.

Kaduna was for all intents and purposes, a northerner.

LegendHero:
We are saying the same thing. You should love the sattire.

I even heard Ojuku planned the keelings of 30k thousand Ibo people in the North because he want to use that to pacify the North so they can install Awolowo as president.

Ojukwu is very selfless, I like him.

LegendHero:
Exactly because in Nigeria paternity is determined by where you grow up and not your actual origin.

LegendHero:
We are saying the same thing. You should love the sattire.

I even heard Ojuku planned the keelings of 30k thousand Ibo people in the North because he want to use that to pacify the North so they can install Awolowo as president.

Ojukwu is very selfless, I like him.

PresidObi:
Your hate has removed every brain matter from your head.

PresidObi:
Yes, that's why Tinubu ruled Osun state and not Lagos

—Awolowo: "Ehen, my Ibo brothers! I know una love me die. Abeg, make una come rescue me, I don tire for this cell."

LegendHero:
Tinubu is a Yoruba, he is entitled to govern anywhere in the SW.

If you’re going to give a rebuttal, at least be creative.

PresidObi:
Does Yekini Amoda sound yoruba to you?

Look, anyone can become anyone.

LegendHero:
Tinubu is a Yoruba, he is entitled to govern anywhere in the SW.

If you’re going to give a rebuttal, at least be creative.

madridguy:
After reading this, I will still blame the Yorubas in Nigeria Army back then.

The Hausa/Fulani avenges for the death of their brothers but Yorubas then just allow everything to go like that and that is the beginning of the see finish we are seeing till date.

PresidObi:
Does Yekini Amoda sound yoruba to you?

Look, anyone can become anyone.

madridguy:
After reading this, I will still blame the Yorubas in Nigeria Army back then.

The Hausa/Fulani avenges for the death of their brothers but Yorubas then just allow everything to go like that and that is the beginning of the see finish we are seeing till date.

LegendHero:
I agree with you totally. That is the main problem.

You must retaliate injustice or else the perpetrators will think what they did is not a big deal.

I like the Northerners for failing to forgive and for taking their own vengeance.

Imagine them mudding 30k Ibos and yet Ibos never for one day blame them for the killings but alwats accuse Yoruba who never fell one Ibo soul.

You should be feared, not loved.

Abufo:
you sound exactly like the clown you are....bozo the agbado clown.......confident in his buffoonery! epic comic!

madridguy:
After reading this, I will still blame the Yorubas in Nigeria Army back then.

The Hausa/Fulani avenges for the death of their brothers but Yorubas then just allow everything to go like that and that is the beginning of the see finish we are seeing till date.

LegendHero:
Exactly because in Nigeria paternity is determined by where you grow up and not your actual origin.

LegendHero:
I agree with you totally. That is the main problem.

You must retaliate injustice or else the perpetrators will think what they did is not a big deal.

I like the Northerners for failing to forgive and for taking their own vengeance.

Imagine them mudding 30k Ibos and yet Ibos never for one day blame them for the killings but alwats accuse Yoruba who never fell one Ibo soul.

You should be feared, not loved.

LegendHero:
Tinubu is a Yoruba, he is entitled to govern anywhere in the SW.

If you’re going to give a rebuttal, at least be creative.

stanluiz:
When will you retaliate for killing of Abiola ?

After Abacha died. Abduslami abubakar assume power, he didn't release Abiola. Abiola was poisoned when he was still the head of state ? Did you retaliate against Abubakar ?

What of Al mustapha that shot Abiola wife in a broad day light. Did you retaliate against him or his kinsmen ?

Abeg, park one side

Creedng:
But zómbies like you say Delta state isn't an igbo state, so how come someone from okpanam is Igbo to you?