₦airaland Forum

Reason why most of our ladies end up in the alter of sacrifice, and the numbers of missing girls keep rising by the day.

None of them will appreciate the little efforts you make in this current economy or the one you offer..they will dump you immediately they find the ones that can offer flashy stuffs, not minding the source of wealth and that's how some will end up in their prime.


Too bad some of our religious institutions even holds much praises for the wealthy and regard those who don't belong to such class as nothing.

Gist…. Yinmu

SmartyPants:
How can you say you are looking for someone ahead of you in ALL aspects of life - so you don't think you too should help him grow in one or two ways?

She's only showing that she's completely empty and without value on the inside and thus, has nothing tangible or valuable to offer any man. Men should avoid these kind of women else they'd suffer the remainder of their lives here on earth

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
Thank God you are seeing what we have been parroting for years.
I just hope average men can be this ruthless too and look beyond worthless beauty and sex.
There are 2 sides of a relationship - Love and Business.
Most women consider the 2 ruthlessly. You can be handsome, caring and good on bed (the Love/Attraction side) but how financially buoyant are you to sustain a family (the Business side)? She may date you for sometime but will drop the relationship at the shortest moment when a better option shows up.
For men, please watch out for this too.
Beauty, nice shapes - bumbum and boobs, caring, respectful, God-fearing etc is the Love side. Unfortunately most men are totally satisfied with it.
The Business side? By associating with her, what do you benefit from her? How does associating with her rubs positively on you?
Good examples -
A lady working high class jobs at LNG, Mobil, Nigeria Bewery etc that dating and marrying her gives you connections to contracts, helps you recruit your brothers or friends into these organisations because she is part of the HR or knows someone there.
Dating and marrying high status men's daughters like senators, governors, corporate top dogs daughters that associating with these ladies helps and makes your journey in life softer. I can explain on this later.
I am tired of seeing men working themselves up a bit all just to come back to Nigeria to pick a broke poor lady, regularly pulling broke ladies up and her family but when the tidy turns, the lady won't hesitate to leave

Natbrowny:
So many have worked really hard and legit

They keep working for organizations without really anything to show 4 it. This is Nigeria.

Things are hard. When i was 18, i used to insult people 30s and above .. now i know better. Life has never been fair

God bless u ..
Same way am telling some of my 18 19years brothers now that don't abuse us of not being a millionaire yet .
But when they get to d stage they will understand better

Kobojunkie:
This claim of yours runs contrary to reality of things in Nigeria where the vast majority who married down are stuck in poverty and their own children remain chained to the same for generations.

2. Your earlier claim was that having a woman as liability has worked well for most men but here you contradicted your own claim. Who are you desperately trying to lie to ...you and me?

Your second paragraph is certainly from someone else because what i said in this thread is clear. Why would i lie to you or myself? I'm not here to impress anyone and i do my best always in that regard, thank you.

Helpout12345:
You see her hypocrisy here. She is calling the man looking to marry up a criminal while she is also looking to marry up.

You can't make this up guys. Women can't take a quarter of what they dish out to men.

Not all women in general this is just a typical nigerian lady's mentality I have read a story of a white american lady that's even more prettier, wealthier and more educated than this nollywood actress who travelled down from her base in the US to a village in kenya to marry an illiterate bike rider when asked why she did it she said that she wasn't getting any suitor in the US and when she prayed about it the holy spirit directed her to go marry the bike man she once met in kenya during her NGO work. They are now happily living in kenya with two beautiful kids.

bukatyne:
If women were really ruthless, 60% of Nigerian men will not be married.

Because most have nothing to make them ruthless in the first place.
Just you know, most ladies are not that attractive, beautiful as they think.
Also, being ruthless is more visible when a lady perceives she is in the same level like you.
A lady teacher looking down on a male teacher.
A nurse who won't date a male nurse. Etc

bukatyne:
Finally, women are getting wiser.

What does a broke 40 year old Nigerian mam have to offer in marriage?

It's not like a 'typical Nigerian' man will provide any other type of support apart from financial.

You are not emotionally intelligent, you will not actively support her dreams, you will.not be faithful, you will not respect her, you will not sexually satisfy her, you will not pick domestically around the house, you will not jointly care for the kids and yet, you don't have money?

Then what exactly is your value?

Your last name?

Perhaps if you develop yourselves to offer more than money, women will begin to see more value in you outside money.

A poster above said a rich man is not always available and abusive; well Ibadan and Igbosere courts are filled with cases of Baba Segun and Mazo Okoro battering their wives.

I don't know why they keep crying like bushbabies. As if they marry down out of kindness. They marry down for control and the set of women that appeals to them are mostly young starters who most times do not match them financially.

Nobody is stopping Nigerian men from marrying rich women. They don't want these women. They say they are not submissive. They are evening newspapers. They cannot born pikin.

So marry your young broke girl in peace. But to think you can be 40 and broke, then have your pick is simply delusion. Male or female, it wouldn't work! If Naija women no gree, he should try foreign women. Those ones marry for love.

Shebi they said men can marry at 95 to a sweet16? Now is the time for this one to prove it. Men age like wine. Ngwanu.

Maobichek:
Good day, most men including myself "married down" and are still doing well for our families and in-laws. To be frank with you, both men and women should be doing something, non should be a liability.

Lastly, one thing i observed from marrying down as a man is that you will plan better because you have responsibilities and your in-laws will always respect you because their daughter is comfortable.

Marrying down may earn you the above, but it has created significant societal problems over time. Every woman, whether rich, hardworking, lazy, or poor now believes she deserves the same kind of man (odogwu para-nonsense). Obviously, most will not get this man in a poor society like Nigeria, so they settle for (and, in some cases, resent) the available man.

We are gradually destroying the era of building together, from nothing to something. When was the last time you read about couples who started their relationship on campus?

If we are not telling the abroad guy to come back to the village to pick a wife, we are advising a girl without a job in Sango to go to Lagos Island clubs and position herself for her dream man. We are not helping the younger ones at all. Many of them will never experience real love.

Acidosis:
Marrying down may earn you the above, but it has created significant societal problems over time. Every woman, whether rich, hardworking, lazy, or poor now believes she deserves the same kind of man (odogwu para-nonsense). Obviously, most will not get this man in a poor society like Nigeria, so they settle for (and, in some cases, resent) the available man.

We are gradually destroying the era of building together, from nothing to something. When was the last time you read about couples who started their relationship on campus?

If we are not telling the abroad guy to come back to the village to pick a wife, we are advising a girl without a job in Sango to go to Lagos Island clubs and position herself for her dream man. We are not helping the younger ones at all. Many of them will never experience real love.

I still see many, Acid. I saw one yesterday on TikTok and people were calling the guy ugly. The few luxury weddings online between the middle class and rich has made many lose touch with reality, but let's not forget Nigeria is still a country with over 200m people and a pregnant woman and her unborn child died because her husband couldn't make a tidy deposit for an emergency surgery. There are non-cosmopolitan states (outside Lagos, Abj, PH and co) where you can find "real love" if you are so desperate for one. Even in Lagos, you can come to my area _Amukoko. Real love full here.

[quote author=DyshApp post=135126156][/quote]N who the f**k is she ?

Acidosis:
Marrying down may earn you the above, but it has created significant societal problems over time. Every woman, whether rich, hardworking, lazy, or poor now believes she deserves the same kind of man (odogwu para-nonsense). Obviously, most will not get this man in a poor society like Nigeria, so they settle for (and, in some cases, resent) the available man.

We are gradually destroying the era of building together, from nothing to something. When was the last time you read about couples who started their relationship on campus?

If we are not telling the abroad guy to come back to the village to pick a wife, we are advising a girl without a job in Sango to go to Lagos Island clubs and position herself for her dream man. We are not helping the younger ones at all. Many of them will never experience real love.

Good morning, i quite agree with you but bear in mind that we are no longer in the 18th/19th century ok, a whole lot have changed. My parents started in one room, our first son was a teacher when he married but these days, it's something else.

Nevertheless, there are still some exceptions ok; a junior colleague wanted to go and see the would-be father in-law, he planned to go by bus but his wife-to-be preferred traveling by air and this young lady paid for their flight tickets herself and didn't demand any form of reimbursement from the young man.

pocohantas:
I still see many, Acid. I saw one yesterday on TikTok and people were calling the guy ugly. The few luxury weddings online between the middle class and rich has made many lose touch with reality, but let's not forget Nigeria is still a country with over 200m people and a pregnant woman and her unborn child died because her husband couldn't make a tidy deposit for an emergency surgery. There are non-cosmopolitan states (outside Lagos, Abj, PH and co) where you can find "real love" if you are so desperate for one. Even in Lagos, you can come to my area _Amukoko. Real love full here.

Lol. I agree that Nigeria is too big for TikTok noise to define everything. But at the same time, we can’t ignore the fact that a lot of people who though started well from nothing are now regretting it because society keeps feeding them the idea that they deserve more than what their husband and they themselves can provide. The problem isn’t just the absence of love; the mindset shift is a bigger problem.

Maobichek:
Good morning, i quite agree with you but bear in mind that we are no longer in the 18th/19th century ok, a whole lot have changed. My parents started in one room, our first son was a teacher when he married but these days, it's something else.

Nevertheless, there are still some exceptions ok; a junior colleague wanted to go and see the would-be father in-law, he planned to go by bus but his wife-to-be preferred traveling by air and this young lady paid for their flight tickets herself and didn't demand any form of reimbursement from the young man.

True, we are no longer in the 19th century, but is this destructive societal menace not peculiar to Nigeria?

I’m just wondering: do most countries have the Cubana, E-Moneys of this world, and "money na water" boys who go about flaunting and splashing money at every big man's wedding in Lagos and Abuja?

I’m also wondering if most countries have a large population of "God when?" women who get triggered in their illusions anytime they see the "Jul and mini Iyabo Ojo's" weddings of this world. I’m just wondering if this 21st-century shift is peculiar to Nigeria or if it is simply a global trend.

DyshApp:
Why I Rejected A 40-year-old Man’s Proposal” – Iheme Nancy by DyshApp: 8:23pm On Apr 25
Nollywood actress, Iheme Nancy shares insights on relationships, revealing why she rejected a 40-year-old man’s proposal.

In a recent interview, Iheme Nancy highlighted the significance of financial stability in relationships.

According to Iheme Nancy, she rejected the 40-year-old man’s proposal because he had no car, house, or investments.

“Not a house, not even a car, no investment.You are looking for someone that is higher than you, are you not a criminal?”,She queried.

Furthermore, she offered insights into her ideal partner, revealing she seeks someone who exceeds her in every aspect.

“You need to grow, you don’t need to go down.I’m looking for a man that is bigger than me in all ramifications because I can do somethings by myself”, She added.

I've NEVER heard of this broad before now.

What she's verbalizing here is the usual hypergamy among MOST females.

🤣🤣🤣
A thread to trigger my Nairaland guys..lol

I always preach this, once you've reach a certain height as a man, you must have taste, choice and standard of Women you need/want. Naturally even a woman with nothing, still has choice and standard of men she intends to be with.

Most men think with their third leg. Na why dey settle with anything inside skirt.

This lady has set her standards and it is fine. I am even concerned at a 40yr old man WITHOUT anything to show for. It's somehow.

Kobojunkie:
Even the older women are choosing to stay single. Stop being foolish by force! 🙄🙄🙄

You know I like you.

Acidosis:
True, we are no longer in the 19th century, but is this destructive societal menace not peculiar to Nigeria?

I’m just wondering: do most countries have the Cubana, E-Moneys of this world, and "money na water" boys who go about flaunting and splashing money at every big man's wedding in Lagos and Abuja?

I’m also wondering if most countries have a large population of "God when?" women who get triggered in their illusions anytime they see the "Jul and mini Iyabo Ojo's" weddings of this world. I’m just wondering if this 21st-century shift is peculiar to Nigeria or if it is simply a global trend.

It's a Nigerian issue ok, in Europe and Asia, rich men associates freely with people, go about their normal business without flaunting anything ok.

A man i met on my way to work last week Wednesday said that he was ejected from a house in Paris because he went with a bicycle; he was told that car(s) are not owned in that house let alone bicycle; everyone uses train or public busses.

GloriousGbola:
You are not emotionally intelligent,
you will not actively support her dreams,
you will.not be faithful,
you will not respect her,
you will not sexually satisfy her,
you will not pick domestically around the house,
you will not jointly care for the kids and
yet, you don't have money?

this madam, haba! takj eit easy now! you wan kill pesin? all this ?

oya take 4/8

Mbanu, 5.5/8 with the potential to reach an 8 and we have a deal

Acidosis:
Marrying down may earn you the above, but it has created significant societal problems over time. Every woman, whether rich, hardworking, lazy, or poor now believes she deserves the same kind of man (odogwu para-nonsense). Obviously, most will not get this man in a poor society like Nigeria, so they settle for (and, in some cases, resent) the available man.

We are gradually destroying the era of building together, from nothing to something. When was the last time you read about couples who started their relationship on campus?

If we are not telling the abroad guy to come back to the village to pick a wife, we are advising a girl without a job in Sango to go to Lagos Island clubs and position herself for her dream man. We are not helping the younger ones at all. Many of them will never experience real love.

Acid, the true reason women today are wary of 'building' with a man is because they have seen their mothers and grandmothers building with nothing to.show for it.

Most of the older rich men sleeping with young girls, or marrying young blood were men whom their wives built with.

A man marries the woman he needs when he is young and then gravitates to the woman he wants when he has made money (if he doesn't have the fear of God). Muslims have made it official: marry a 'let's build together' when he is young and struggling then starts picking hot and sexy younger hajias to warm his blood.

At least if the man is rich and he betrays you in future, it wouldn't pain you so much.

Acidosis:
They were ruthless at some point. Many just got f00led or lured, my sister.

The ruthless ones are minute out of the pool.

pocohantas:
I don't know why they keep crying like bushbabies. As if they marry down out of kindness. They marry down for control and the set of women that appeals to them are mostly young starters who most times do not match them financially.

Nobody is stopping Nigerian men from marrying rich women. They don't want these women. They say they are not submissive. They are evening newspapers. They cannot born pikin.

So marry your young broke girl in peace. But to think you can be 40 and broke, then have your pick is simply delusion. Male or female, it wouldn't work! If Naija women no gree, he should try foreign women. Those ones marry for love.

Shebi they said men can marry at 95 to a sweet16? Now is the time for this one to prove it. Men age like wine. Ngwanu.

I cracked up when they say 'men can marry a poor woman and brush her up' but women can't.

If they engage the logic they claim to have, they will understand why.

JackDaAlienz:
Until you dull simps start treating broke women like this..
Women will always treat u like dog

Men will see a broke girl and spend his whole money to elevate her.

Woman will see broke guy and put him in his place.. and block him

Why won't women treat men like mumu?
Na men dey cause all this crap

5 kposa to you for this.

Seriously, I don't get it where a complete low-life and broke lady will set big and high standard for the man she want while.men on the other side think they shouldn't have standard.

I think this is due to inferiority complex. How can a man come down from the 10th floor to look for a lady on the ground floor?

How can a well educated and financially stable and we'll to do man come from abroad to look for a village girl he'll train and clean up for marriage?

As for me, as I'm building myself, I don't have any business with a low life and broke ass lady. Very funny how a man will spend his wealth trying to convince and impress a complete broke lady from a very wretched background

Acidosis:
Majority of women are very ruthless when deciding on who to marry. They don't care about your feelings. They won't marry you out of pity.

With this coming from you, the feeling I experienced when I saw the moniker eh. It cannot be described! For you to say this, it means you have seen it all.

I might be accused of being immature or rude, but for YOU to say this, that is the end. Make everybody go house. The church session haff end.

Sooner or later, there is one last bus stop you will arrive at. I will print that one and stamp it in my room.

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
Thank God you are seeing what we have been parroting for years.
I just hope average men can be this ruthless too and look beyond worthless beauty and sex.
There are 2 sides of a relationship - Love and Business.
Most women consider the 2 ruthlessly. You can be handsome, caring and good on bed (the Love/Attraction side) but how financially buoyant are you to sustain a family (the Business side)? She may date you for sometime but will drop the relationship at the shortest moment when a better option shows up.
For men, please watch out for this too.
Beauty, nice shapes - bumbum and boobs, caring, respectful, God-fearing etc is the Love side. Unfortunately most men are totally satisfied with it.
The Business side? By associating with her, what do you benefit from her? How does associating with her rubs positively on you?
Good examples -
A lady working high class jobs at LNG, Mobil, Nigeria Bewery etc that dating and marrying her gives you connections to contracts, helps you recruit your brothers or friends into these organisations because she is part of the HR or knows someone there.
Dating and marrying high status men's daughters like senators, governors, corporate top dogs daughters that associating with these ladies helps and makes your journey in life softer. I can explain on this later.
I am tired of seeing men working themselves up a bit all just to come back to Nigeria to pick a broke poor lady, regularly pulling broke ladies up and her family but when the tidy turns, the lady won't hesitate to leave

The bold is true, but due to men's ego and territorial behaviour, they find it difficult to manage such a union, especially if the man is someone who built himself up with little favours and here and there. Also, some of those women display crude masculine/"arrogant" behaviours due to the environments, so the belief is rather than marry such, isn't it better to marry a man? It is good for lineage purposes, but except the man plays his part by not rubbing say his cheating exploits on her face (because they can easily walk away), such unions might not last for long. Most importantly, in "most cases", the men who marry those ladies are either men whose families are well-to-do or men who aren't there yet financially. In the latter's case, the man can live with such an arrangement, and it makes sense. A case is Veekee's husband.

Lastly, those women still wish to marry men who are higher than them - hypergamy. Ednut described how the Big4 ladies look at the concept of marriage. So, the men, in most cases, must come correct. The post by Acid is apt.

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
Thank God you are seeing what we have been parroting for years.
I just hope average men can be this ruthless too and look beyond worthless beauty and sex.
There are 2 sides of a relationship - Love and Business.
Most women consider the 2 ruthlessly. You can be handsome, caring and good on bed (the Love/Attraction side) but how financially buoyant are you to sustain a family (the Business side)? She may date you for sometime but will drop the relationship at the shortest moment when a better option shows up.
For men, please watch out for this too.
Beauty, nice shapes - bumbum and boobs, caring, respectful, God-fearing etc is the Love side. Unfortunately most men are totally satisfied with it.
The Business side? By associating with her, what do you benefit from her? How does associating with her rubs positively on you?
Good examples -
A lady working high class jobs at LNG, Mobil, Nigeria Bewery etc that dating and marrying her gives you connections to contracts, helps you recruit your brothers or friends into these organisations because she is part of the HR or knows someone there.
Dating and marrying high status men's daughters like senators, governors, corporate top dogs daughters that associating with these ladies helps and makes your journey in life softer. I can explain on this later.
I am tired of seeing men working themselves up a bit all just to come back to Nigeria to pick a broke poor lady, regularly pulling broke ladies up and her family but when the tidy turns, the lady won't hesitate to leave

Nice points, chief.

Those women in higher offices and of higher statuses are getting married to men at the same level as them and higher.

There's something we must understand: top-tier people are the 0.1% of every society. They are not common. In most cases they only rotate within their axis - individuals at same level as them.

Back to the evolutionary game: men date lower while women date higher.

Men date lower because they easily flex their authority - leading, providing, and protecting. Women date higher because they are the weaker sex and search for the aforementioned men to safeguard them.

Going back to the majority of the population - middle class and lower class, there will always be a higher possibility and probability in dating and marriage within their strata.

Even if men date lower, in many wedding ceremonies we've have been opportuned to witness on social media - high profile men in their numbers got married to high profile women. And vice-versa.

Men aiming for high profile women must be occupying high profile zones. This is not a work of letters and imagination. It must be so.

Women are not visiting clubs and high-end places with their expensive make-up and wears for nothing. They are simply targeting fat preys - rich and successful men.

If men are advised to marry high-value women, they also must raise their standard by becoming high value men.

The crux of the matter: men and women as we've continuously witnessed every weekend always get married at approximately same level as their potential mates.

Of course, in last few decades, there has been a social and cultural change which affects the way we see dating, romance, love, and marriage. However, regardless of socio-cultural changes, humans will still rotate around their biological and evolutionary axis.

Thanks.

Cc. Gerrard59

CaveAdullam:
Nice points, chief.

Those women in higher offices and of higher statuses are getting married to men at the same level as them and higher.

There's something we must understand: top-tier people are the 0.1% of every society. They are not common. In most cases they only rotate within their axis - individuals at same level as them.

Back to the evolutionary game: men date lower while women date higher.

Men date lower because they easily flex their authority - leading, providing, and protecting. Women date higher because they are the weaker sex and search for the aforementioned men to safeguard them.

Going back to the majority of the population - middle class and lower class, there will always be a higher possibility and probability in dating and marriage within their strata.

Even if men date lower, in many wedding ceremonies we've have been opportuned to witness on social media - high profile men in their numbers got married to high profile women. And vice-versa.

Men aiming for high profile women must be occupying high profile zones. This is not a work of letters and imagination. It must be so.

Women are not visiting clubs and high-end places with their expensive make-up and wears for nothing. They are simply targeting fat preys - rich and successful men.

If men are advised to marry high-value women, they also must raise their standard by becoming high value men.

The crux of the matter: men and women as we've continuously witnessed every weekend always get married at approximately same level as their potential mates.

Of course, in last few decades, there has been a social and cultural change which affects the way we see dating, romance, love, and marriage. However, regardless of socio-cultural changes, humans will still rotate around their biological and evolutionary axis.

Thanks.

Cc. Gerrard59

Yes, I understand bro and it is okay by me but my point is that even if men are going to go low, it shouldn't be that low all in the name of Love.
We go too too too low honestly.
Marry within your range or band.
All kind of ladies will always be within your band.
I don't want to believe it is only the ladies from broke homes that are humble or submissive. You will find them in the middle and upper class too. It is your job as a man to find them and marry if you are in that class.
Most ladies who were born and brought up in Lekki won't dare marry a guy from egbeda all in the name of Love.
The least they can settle for is a guy in Lekki too or abroad while a guy staying in VI will be wifing a lady in iyana ipaja all in the name of yeye Love.
If you are going to come down, not too low. Lekki, VI and environment should be the lowest too.
I can have a son who I sponsored to convenant university come home with a lady from Polytechnic honestly. I and his mother would reject her.
I will threaten her not to come near my house again.
The least he can go is Babcock or any top tier private uni, not even govt federal universities honestly.
Apologies to most of us that went to govt schools but unfortunately, I won't allow my son descend so low to pick a lady from there.
Actually I don't care if we have rich kids in govt. schools but he dare not

emmaodet:
Yes, I understand bro and it is okay by me but my point is that even if men are going to go low, it shouldn't be that low all in the name of Love.
We go too too too low honestly.
Marry within your range or band.
All kind of ladies will always be within your band.
I don't want to believe it is only the ladies from broke homes that are humble or submissive. You will find them in the middle and upper class too. It is your job as a man to find them and marry if you are in that class.
Most ladies who were born and brought up in Lekki won't dare marry a guy from egbeda all in the name of Love.
The least they can settle for is a guy in Lekki too or abroad while a guy staying in VI will be wifing a lady in iyana ipaja all in the name of yeye Love.
If you are going to come down, not too low. Lekki, VI and environment should be the lowest too.
I can have a son who I sponsored to convenant university come home with a lady from Polytechnic honestly. I and his mother would reject her.
I will threaten her not to come near my house again.
The least he can go is Babcock or any top tier private uni, not even govt federal universities honestly.
Apologies to most of us that went to govt schools but unfortunately, I won't allow my son descend so low to pick a lady from there.
Actually I don't care if we have rich kids in govt. schools but he dare not

I get your point, Chief.

But the heart will always go for what it wants.

Creating a chasm for love which is automatically becomes romantic classism does more harm than good.

Love is not business. Business is not love. Both are separate concepts.

By the way, there's a higher possibility of CU male graduate + CU female graduate. But if it never occurred and it eventually becomes a poly female graduate that's what the heart really want.

The thing here is that most marriages are based on same level of spouse's potentials.

And in a hypothetical scenario, if we really want to tour this line, the majority are not going to get married.

Summarily: as witnessed average men and women get married to mates at the same level as them.

Thanks.

Love is not business? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Maobichek:
It's a Nigerian issue ok, in Europe and Asia, rich men associates freely with people, go about their normal business without flaunting anything ok.

A man i met on my way to work last week Wednesday said that he was ejected from a house in Paris because he went with a bicycle; he was told that car(s) are not owned in that house let alone bicycle; everyone uses train or public busses.

Hmn, I figured as much. What’s going on in Nigeria with all this social posturing certainly can't be a global trend.