₦airaland Forum

Best decision of my life

Patriotic9ja:
Married at 27, wifey 21. Our first child 12, second 10, and last is 7. It's been awesome, especially when people think your child is your little sister lol.

I always wanted to marry early while growing up and conclude having kids before 30 to 35. Its been awesome and all thanks to God and a mentally matured and intelligent wife despite her age (21).

Yes it's great to marry early but the man especially must be mentally matured and ready to lead the family. All what a young wife needs is a matured husband to love, guide, and protect her.

Pic1: with my last 2 kids. The 1st is almost as tall as my wife. Both look like siblings now

is that dodge or Chevrolet you're leaning on??


Looks like hellcat...

TonyeBarcanista:
Die this narrative! My father married at 26, but he still believed that he married late. 21 is ripe enough for marriage

What an adult sees squating you will never see even on top of Iroko tree. Won't argue with you, 23 years is too young in this part of the world to marry. Your dads time is not same now, be wise.

TonyeBarcanista:
Absolutely

My goal was 26/27 but babe called off things three years into the relationship when I was 23. Though she wanted a return 6 months after but I refused! This caused my delay.

I've never seen any need to wait into late 20s or 30s, however, I've never believed in desperation or a fan for one to settle down with just anybody.

Omo the joy of early marriage is sweet

Officially dated one woman all my life. When I was ready, she wasn't, she wanted to finish school before settling down.

When she finished, I was no longer ready financially.

Some years later when I still wasn't getting the financial status I wanted, we decided to do it however.

Dated for a very long time!

DeeScan:
is that dodge or Chevrolet you're leaning on??


Looks like hellcat...

Chevrolet Camaro

Not good at all. This is the formative and most productive stage of a man's life, and it should be used to build wealth instead of carrying the problems of wives, kids, and in-laws. This is the root cause of generational poverty. It is a very bad idea to marry early, very bad.

TonyeBarcanista:
Honestly, if not that my former relationship collapsed when I was 23, I'd have married her @25-26.

My father married at 26 and he kept saying he married as an old man . I do tease him that I married as an ancestor.

Meanwhile, I have an associate who is unmarried @39 and still sees himself as a young dude. I do tell him that if he's not careful his child teachers will be addressing him as Daddy and he will be made the Chairman of the PTA in the school.

Lol @bolded. He probably won't understand till he starts buying diapers at 50 when his age mates are attending their children's graduations and weddings. Raising kids require attention, energy, and more..... these are better done at certain ages not at old age when energy level is low. If the man ain't working or financially stable. That can be understood

Expanse2020:
Nobody marry Early regret it .
Na poverty mentally you de use view am

I got married in my early 20s and regretted my decision. It was hands down one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I would have married at 40 and aimed for one child.

Procashtips:
Officially dated one woman all my life. When I was ready, she wasn't, she wanted to finish school before settling down.

When she finished, I was no longer ready financially.

Some years later when I still wasn't getting the financial status I wanted, we decided to do it however.

Dated for a very long time!

Omo your own long o! If na me I go end am immediately she say make she finish school before settling down, especially if I have the means to sponsor her education.

Nnamdipapa:
I got married in my early 20s and regretted my decision. It was hands down one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I would have married at 40 and aimed for one child.

How did you meet your wife? What kind of woman did you take as wife?

[quote author= post=135713613]What an adult sees squating you will never see even on top of Iroko tree. Won't argue with you, 23 years is too young in this part of the world to marry. Your dads time is not same now, be wise.[/quote]There is actually not difference in time. Our desires simply changed!

TonyeBarcanista:
How did you meet your wife? What kind of woman did you take as wife?

It does not matter how we met or what kind of woman she is. This was the time when I should have been building wealth and accumulating assets. I used it to carry my wife, children, and in-laws' palava. She was 19 when we met. I met her in the church-another wrong place to meet a wife and a big mistake again.

We live to learn.

Patriotic9ja:
Lol @bolded. He probably won't understand till he starts buying diapers at 50 when his age mates are attending their children's graduations and weddings. Raising kids require attention, energy, and more..... these are better done at certain ages not at old age when energy level is low. If the man ain't working or financially stable. That can be understood

You are very correct! Aside fertility, our biological clock as men isn't much different from women. The funny thing is that the older a man gets (35+), the more it becomes difficult to get his spec for wife.

TonyeBarcanista:
How did you meet your wife? What kind of woman did you take as wife?

I also believe they set a trap for me to marry because I was doing very well financially, bought two cars at 22 and spent a lot of money on MIL. My MIL then told me she had a vision that I would marry her daughter and permitted me to get her pregnant before marriage if I wanted. I made money early and at 23, had no business with marriage. Build assets, enjoy your life, travel the world, date extensively, and you will have more wisdom to make marriage decisions.

Nnamdipapa:
It does not matter how we met or what kind of woman she is. This was the time when I should have been building wealth and accumulating assets. I used it to carry my wife, children, and in-laws' palava. She was 19 when we met. I met her in the church-another wrong place to meet a wife and a big mistake again.

We live to learn.

My brother, the emboldened summarizes it. My friends who married in their early 20s did not cease to invest in themselves and their spouses. One error we usually make is carrying in-law's palava, and this has nothing to do with age. The best is to do what you can do for them without reducing your own growth.

TonyeBarcanista:
You are very correct! Aside fertility, our biological clock as men isn't much different from women. The funny thing is that the older a man gets (35+), the more it becomes difficult to get his spec for wife.

Very true. But i think a man can still find his spec in a woman irrespective of his age oo. Especially if he is physically and financially ok. A 50 years old man with enough pepper will still get a very good lady (young, intelligent, etc). The reverse is usually the case for an old single lady. They usually settle for less and anything available then. Quite unfortunate, but that's the sad reality. Ned Nwoko was 39 years older than Regina Daniels when he married her

The only reason I have been seeing here is, kids, kids, and grand kids.

Nnamdipapa:
I also believe they set a trap for me to marry because I was doing very well financially, bought two cars at 22 and spent a lot of money on MIL. My MIL then told me she had a vision that I would marry her daughter and permitted me to get her pregnant before marriage if I wanted. I made money early and at 23, had no business with marriage. Build assets, enjoy your life, travel the world, date extensively, and you will have more wisdom to make marriage decisions.

You were deceived! I understand you! Your MIL was a leech who gave you her daughter for her own selfish interest.

Patriotic9ja:
Very true. But i think a man can still find his spec in a woman irrespective of his age oo. Especially if he is physically and financially ok. A 50 years old man with enough pepper will still get a very good lady (young, intelligent, etc). The reverse is usually the case for an old single lady. They usually settle for less and anything available then. Quite unfortunate, but that's the sad reality. Ned Nwoko was 39 years older than Regina Daniels when he married her

I was had this conversation with a friend and made him to understand that a 50 year old man who is well to do can attract a younger woman, whose attraction is not to him but his wealth/status. This applies to Regina and Nwoko.

A 50 year old wealthy woman can also attract a 22 year old man for marriage, but the problem with women is that they don't want to marry a "gold digger" who is after their wealth irrespective of their age, unlike men.

TonyeBarcanista:
My brother, the emboldened summarizes it. My friends who married in their early 20s did not cease to invest in themselves and their spouses. One error we usually make is carrying in-law's palava, and this has nothing to do with age. The best is to do what you can do for them without reducing your own growth.

In my 20ies, I was the one carrying the financial burden for my parents, I single-handedly saw four of my siblings through universities, and was responsible for setting up business for my dad and elder brother. Now, to have to carry wife and in-laws palava at the same time was an ill-conceived idea. My mom was against the marriage, and I ignored her to my detriment.

Started dating at age 18, married at 27 while she was 25!

Now we will be 28years in marriage come July and its been divine . We had our ups and downs, but its been largely full of understanding .

I can't say age doesn't matters in marriage but ability to know that the spouses need to understand each other matters more

Nnamdipapa:
Not good at all. This is the formative and most productive stage of a man's life, and it should be used to build wealth instead of carrying the problems of his wife, kids, and in-laws. This is the root cause of generational poverty. It is a very bad idea to marry early, very bad.

You are a wise man, most of the comments above are mostly from unambitious fellow with no big dreams. One of the problems of northern Nigeria is early male marriage.

TonyeBarcanista:
You were deceived! I understand you! Your MIL was a leech who gave you her daughter for her own selfish interest.

At 21, I was driving a big car to church, and the news had spread that I had also bought a car for my dad. I never knew that I was a target already. I should have had at least four houses before marriage, as I had good jobs all through early adulthood. I am not doing badly now, but in hindsight, I should have been a $ millionaire before 35. My kids are older than the kids of all my mates.

[quote author= post=135714095]You are a wise man, most of the comments above are mostly from unambitious fellow with no big dreams. One of the problems of northern Nigeria is early male marriage.[/quote]People don't understand. Early marriage and having kids without planning are the reasons why Africa is being ravaged by poverty. I am married and always tell my kids never to marry early. I would have had a baby mama with one child and never married at all.

Well if you married late as a man and you didn't have fun or build anything tangible while single then you probably would have been better off marrying early.

The reason for marrying late would best be to see the world and build a sustainable life. Forget what people say about retiring early and having fun. There is no fun at old age, you will not travel much different ailments for most of them. Falling asleep every 30 mins even when they manage travel they can't even do much. Just sit around in bus while being driven, can't stay out late can't grove at night.

If they forget their blue pill no knacking for them, their wives are already too tired to be knacking like mad

Guy between the age of 22 and 40 for a guy that is your peak you should be able to travel the world, date women across boards attend raves and Bleep like mad. Once you marry and kids start coming as a man your life is over. As for women that solidifies their lives.

Women are built differently, they peak early and would convince men to slow down with them and before the man will notice otilo. That is why some randy ones will start running around outside to catch a glimpse of what they missed.

Life sweet sha. Imagine waking up to fresh young kpomo for Santorini. Then walk around the beach at night she no wear pant... The next summer you dey Mallorca with a different babe same cycle. Arriving hotel room very late from the beach, knack till your third leg begin pain you. Some nights you go attend raves when you no know the organizer.

Every weekend groove dey ground to attend it you dey mobile get EU kpali and small extra change, bro you be machine. Hiking with friends person most collect prick for forest. Go for long walk with a female friend you go shift pants. Guy youth is a blessing and please enjoy it responsibly while you can.

If to say you marry na normal vanilla waka you dey waka. Normal vanilla holiday no kukere walka. Even if una run amok chances dey say within short time pikin don show once pikin show church don close.

Watch your parents they stay at home all day watching Africa magic morning till night Monday through Sunday. Even when they come abroad to visit you they stay indoors all day. The best they could do is stroll to the city center. The sad part is that their kids are so engrossed in their work and raising their children that they also don't even know how to groove let alone the best places to take their parents to.

Nnamdipapa:
People don't understand. Early marriage and having kids without planning are the reasons why Africa is being ravaged by poverty. I am married and always tell my kids never to marry early. I would have had a baby mama with one child and never married at all.

None is talking about the society where these kids and grand kids will live. The goal is just to produce kids and grandkids for selfish reason.

[quote author= post=135714239]None is talking about the society where these kids and grand kids will live. The goal is just to produce kids and grandkids for selfish reason.[/quote]For real selfish reasons, my brother. We were seven sleeping on a mat and using pit latrines in a face-me-I face you my first 18 years. The suffering was out of this world, and kids from these kinds of environments are programmed to repeat the mistakes of their parents.

Nnamdipapa:
For real selfish reasons, my brother. We were seven sleeping on a mat and using pit latrines in a face-me-I face you my first 18 years. The suffering was out of this world, and kids from these kinds of environments are programmed to repeat the mistakes of their parents.

Damn, very sorry

[quote author= post=135714298]Damn, very sorry[/quote]Thanks.

Abaziaka:
DON'T TRY IT IF YOU'RE NOT FINANCIALLY STABLE
it might kill ur aspirations, crippling ur children futures if ur partner is not supportive enough

Well, you may be right but not in most cases. I started living with pregnant woman at 22 and the journey was kinda rough and I blamed myself for making such mistakes though but today
I own one of the nicest buildings in my community after 14yrs and looking at my kids today 🥰🥰🥰 na serious joy e dey give me. Alhamdullilahi.

Definitely it's not good, I married at the age of 24 years and I regretted it. IRE O

Nnamdipapa:
For real selfish reasons, my brother. We were seven sleeping on a mat and using pit latrines in a face-me-I face you my first 18 years. The suffering was out of this world, and kids from these kinds of environments are programmed to repeat the mistakes of their parents.

In spite of everything, you did so well for yourself, yet you're ungrateful.

The truth of the matter is, you solely, were/are responsible for the decision(s) you made.
Nobody would've made you to do what you didn't want to do, just as nobody could stop you from doing what you had decided to do.
You lived through what you lived through, yet you decided to marry early.
You were not a child.
You have to take responsibility for that.


Again, you would never know what life would've been like, had you not married early.
You probably would've lost everything, then made to start over, or maybe not, who knows?
Marriage most likely kept you grounded, and made you more responsible [including financially].

By the way, how did you come across such quick wealth at that age, considering you came from a poor background?
I'm curious to know....if you don't mind. 👀