₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido.

As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

My brother, I feel your pains. But didn't she tell you this before the wedding? If she didn't then she defrauded you.

Perhaps, you may consider having a second wife

Nnamdipapa:
Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido. As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsxPD5-VIb4?si=9BAi5q9fzFUlTeiY

Kobojunkie:
Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Where una come get this notion say libido is directly tied to organs and muscle tissues? Africans and the spreading of myths ehn! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06lMe2pT-eI?si=OTWMV1xL9Tp7PM-O

Based on my lived experience, low libido can be tied to painful intercourse. When pain is associated with intercourse, it can make a lady less interested

TonyeBarcanista:
My brother, I feel your pains. But didn't she tell you this before the wedding? If she didn't then she defrauded you.

Perhaps, you may consider having a second wife

Second WHAT.

I am trying to escape one marriage and you are suggesting another.

I will give anything to be single with FWB. I will never marry again. It has very little value to a man at this point for me.

Nnamdipapa:
➜Based on my lived experience, low libido can be tied to painful intercourse. When pain is associated with intercourse, it can make a lady less interested

Painful intercourse is not the same as reduced libido. Many of these women have very strong libidos, even with the pain. And there are treatments for many of the signs associated with FGM.

Ishilove:
Wow. That's a lot to handle.

She won't cheat in this case. You'll just have to find a balance to make things work. When a thing is broken, you should try to fix it, not throw it away.

The kind of balance that leaves a husband perpetualy unsatisfied? It's like a woman finding out the husband had an erectile dysfunction from day one of marriage, what kind of balance would be suggested for such a woman.

Nnamdipapa:
Second WHAT.

I am trying to escape one marriage and you are suggesting another.

I will give anything to be single with FWB. I will never marry again. It has very little value to a man at this point for me.

The value of marriage is more on the long term, at our old age.

Second wife that would make up for your wife's shortcomings, particularly the sex area. FWB is not as fun as it is made to appear. You may contend with infections and boredom at some point.

TonyeBarcanista:
The value of marriage is more on the long term, at our old age.

Second wife that would make up for your wife's shortcomings, particularly the sex area. FWB is not as fun as it is made to appear. You may contend with infections and boredom at some point.

Second marriage is not for me and no guarantee all of us will get to old age. I just want to enjoy the moment.

Of course they will come and tell it it's the best decision. Can Nigerian men be absolutely honest?
Take this question to quota and get a better answer from honest people

Marrying early comes with great advantage...I marry at the age of 26 with no hope but God show mercy I have my own house and two kids and millions in my account...

isio1:
Marrying early brings a lot of joy, when I see my children and grandchildren. today I have little or no worries. I married at the age of 22, became a grandfather at 46+ today I am so happy because one of my grandchildren is already in the Uni at age 17 and my last born is serving (NYSC) already. Life in the 80s was fun, more habitable and cheaper, unlike the new World of today.

So you are happy because you had kids and grandkids. Or because you were successful?

Brilliant7:
Marrying early comes with great advantage...I marry at the age of 26 with no hope but God show mercy I have my own house and two kids and millions in my account...

Yeah. Go and ask those who married early and are struggling financially because of too many responsibilities. I doubt if they will agree with you on your submission. This thing is situation specific- what works for you, may destroy another.

yesloaded:
Late marriage is not good at all but too much expectation from men makes early marriage difficult

There's no fun training your children at old age like 60yrs+

I would rather train and give my children the best opportunities at 60 , than marrying at 20 and struggling all through life. Thereby putting innocent kids through untold hardship and missed opportunities. I doubt if you have ever tasted poverty and deprivation. If you had, your perspective concerning certain issues will change.

Brilliant7:
Marrying early comes with great advantage...I marry at the age of 26 with no hope but God show mercy I have my own house and two kids and millions in my account...

The OP mentioned 23-25 so you are out of range. For me 25+ is ok while 23- is not ideal.

Socratiz:
See, if you don't want to spend your gratuity on school fees, make sure you marry early and have few children, 3 max.

I got married at 27 because I wanted to stop paying school fees before 60. Thank God, my last born finished university when I was 53.

It was me and my wife forabout 7 years before grandchildren arrived.

God will smile on you if you trust Him and make reasonable plans.

Ha ha ha all these are rables of a cash crunched man, a man as wealthy as Obijason even at Sixty won't be afraid of paying millions of dollars as school fees of each of his twenty kids at the age of 60. Yes marrying early is good but using your narrative as the justification only paints an image of fear of cash crunched man. All we should pray is more money to meet up with our financial obligations at any point in time. To me I will even want to be that grand father that can pick the most brilliant of my grand children to sponsor them in school.

Nnamdipapa:
I cut her off already and she is not allowed to pass the night in my house. Same goes for my brother in laws. Unfortunately, my wife has turned out to become her mother version 2.0 and has refused to consider a divorce when I told her I no longer love her. She would rather die in the marriage.

What can you say made you fall out of love with your wife? Decline in her sexual prowess? Faded beauty?

Nnamdipapa:
Lazy, no ambition, extremely religious, house is always dirty, never cooks for the kids and always on social media.
I pray and wish she cheats so I can have a legit excuse for divorce.

what the hell? I would have wondered what made you fall out of love.

I love it. Mere looking at my three kids is cure to any ailment. I'm 32 now with two cars.

Imma624:
Men who married early at 23, 24, 25 or before 30. Do you regret your decision or enjoy marrying early.
Let's discuss.....mature responses only

Nothing beats marring early. Married at 24, my wife 19.

bluebay:
Marrying early
Is not right

Who told you Though I got married a week after my 38th Birthday in 2023, currently have a daughter who will be one year next month. While I clocked 39 years last month.

If you have the means(finances) and maturity marry early or at most don't exceed your 30th birthday.


We rise by lifting others

yesloaded:
Late marriage is not good at all but too much expectation from men makes early marriage difficult

There's no fun training your children at old age like 60yrs+

Many Nigerian men who married early have died early from High blood pressure/stress due to reoccurring vices of their kids, especially their male species.
The reasons are not far fetched; when a man can not fulfill financial obligations of the family and sometimes an expectation of above average performance by the man.
Kids go into yahoo, armed robbery, bunkery, prostitution, gambling etc.

This life is for you to live to the fullest and sometimes, you just need to live up to 70 years before you can see your stubborn child grow to give you stress and 'heart attack'

lendahand:
what the hell? I would have wondered what made you fall out of love.

I think love is a temporary feeling you have before you get to know each other, after a while, it fades you there are no true connections and companionship.

lendahand:
What can you say made you fall out of love with your wife? Decline in her sexual prowess? Faded beauty?

Not sensitive to my needs, lack of sexual satisfaction, not taking care of the kids properly, talking 4 hours on the phone and sitting in the same location for hours. We have nothing to talk about and sometimes the only communication is what I have to buy or if money is needed.
She feels because she gave me three boys, she has tried enough. No financial accountability, wiring money to her relatives without wanting us to plan as couples.

I really tried the first ten years and hoped things would work but it did not and I know life happens. I have made adjustments accordingly.

I'm a man and I must confess that I have like marriage but responsibilities dey choke. The sex doesn't even come as it was when we were dating. Now that's she's delivered, we've gone 4 months without it. on top of that every day naso my brain de work like say I no be man made... Married women can you guys tell us how you feel about marriage.

TonyeBarcanista:
The value of marriage is more on the long term, at our old age.

Second wife that would make up for your wife's shortcomings, particularly the sex area. FWB is not as fun as it is made to appear. You may contend with infections and boredom at some point.

What are the guarantees the second wife will not be worse than the first? Hou know women pretend a lot right? I can not take that risk.

TonyeBarcanista:
Omo your own long o! If na me I go end am immediately she say make she finish school before settling down, especially if I have the means to sponsor her education.

Not really about sponsorship, some people can't handle 2 major things at once.

Nnamdipapa:
I also believe they set a trap for me to marry because I was doing very well financially, bought two cars at 22 and spent a lot of money on MIL. My MIL then told me she had a vision that I would marry her daughter and permitted me to get her pregnant before marriage if I wanted. I made money early and at 23, had no business with marriage. Build assets, enjoy your life, travel the world, date extensively, and you will have more wisdom to make marriage decisions.

Marital wisdom doesn't come from multiple dating experience.

Marital wisdom comes from understanding the purpose of marriage and companionship.

One of the reasons marriages no longer last is because of these "multiple dating experiences" people now have compared to the days of old.

Lastly, some people aren't meant to be married be it early or late

Nnamdipapa:
What are the guarantees the second wife will not be worse than the first? Hou know women pretend a lot right? I can not take that risk.

Please don't.
Marrying a second wife no be am at all..

Just do what makes you happy

Nnamdipapa:
At 21, I was driving a big car to church, and the news had spread that I had also bought a car for my dad. I never knew that I was a target already. I should have had at least four houses before marriage, as I had good jobs all through early adulthood. I am not doing badly now, but in hindsight, I should have been a $ millionaire before 35. My kids are older than the kids of all my mates.

Then marrying early wasn't the reason you have a regrettable marriage, it's more about the people you married and the people that surrounded you.

I also can't exonerate you from the whole thing, you might have also been one with no character for marriage.

In a nutshell, whether you are 50 or 20, some people aren't just a marriageable spec

Nnamdipapa:
I am not ungrateful, I just felt I would have done way better and looking back, I never did what I truly wanted to do, never had fun as I would have expected. You are a lady so, you won't see issues from a guy's point of view. Most ladies want the guy to work till death with little enjoyment.

I studied very hard for ICAN through the ATS route and became a chartered accountant around 20. I never went to a regular university. I got good jobs in multinational when my mates were still in the university.

Got into tax department and was in charge of negotiating company taxe with FIRS officials and you know what that means.
I also moved into oil and gas where I was in charge of supplying ago to the whole country, I used to get my cut from every driver like about 500k every week excluding my paycheck which I never remember to touch. At some point, I bought my own 33,000ltrs ago truck and added to my company's fleet. Nigeria was sweet.

I think I got lucky.

How did you know you would have done better?

You are regretting what you are now in place of what you assumed you would have been?

What exactly makes you think you would have been better off if you didnt get married early?

Why do we assume our future alot?

Mariangeles:
Many guy reading this will be mad at you, you know?







I think your regret is more about the family you married from.
You feel they exploited you.

That is the koko. He married into a wrong home, not really the age she married. There are people who married late but still went through what he's talking about.