₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
I do now but I get monitored all the time like contant video calls. I am scheduled to travel alone to Cartagena in Colombia early next month.
I would love to be in Pucket Thailand before the end of this year and ALONE as well. No kids, no wife. Lol

You already said you told your wife you don't love her and wants a divorce, so why does what you do still worries you or what she'll say?

Na by force to pick vidoe calls or even pick any calls for that matter?

Marriage is not what is tying you down, it's just that you don't want to be responsible again due to how early you were made to be responsible to not just your wife but to 2 extended families

Arostar2023:
So you are happy because you had kids and grandkids. Or because you were successful?

What is success to you?

Hope you know the definition of success is relative?

To some, it's material possession
To others, it's the joy of being surrounded by family
Etc

Arostar2023:
Yeah. Go and ask those who married early and are struggling financially because of too many responsibilities. I doubt if they will agree with you on your submission. This thing is situation specific- what works for you, may destroy another.

Why should he go and ask others when he himself married early?

Are there no people who married late that are still poor and struggling?

You think it's by age?

Ahmed0336:
Please don't.
Marrying a second wife no be am at all..

Just do what makes you happy

I will never make that mistake, I know better now.

TonyeBarcanista:
Life is not about having sex with different women though

Tonye life is what you call life no one has the manual.

Patriotic9ja:
Married at 27, wifey 21. Our first child 12, second 10, and last is 7. It's been awesome, especially when people think your child is your little sister lol.

I always wanted to marry early while growing up and conclude having kids before 30 to 35. Its been awesome and all thanks to God and a mentally matured and intelligent wife despite her age (21).

Yes it's great to marry early but the man especially must be mentally matured and ready to lead the family. All what a young wife needs is a matured husband to love, guide, and protect her.

Pic1: with my last 2 kids. The 1st is almost as tall as my wife. Both look like siblings now

/
Marrying late is one of the most stupid decisions people make. It is only later in life that they realize the magnitude of such silly decision.

/

AkhereOkaka:
Who told you Though I got married a week after my 38th Birthday in 2023, currently have a daughter who will be one year next month. While I clocked 39 years last month.

If you have the means(finances) and maturity marry early or at most don't exceed your 30th birthday.


We rise by lifting others

So you think marrying 38 is early ? Am talking about this who got married around 25-35

Expanse2020:
.
Na poverty mentally de make you yawn nonsense guy

Poor people and quick mentioning of poverty sha …. Do you know me at all?

Arostar2023:
I would rather train and give my children the best opportunities at 60 , than marrying at 20 and struggling all through life. Thereby putting innocent kids through untold hardship and missed opportunities. I doubt if you have ever tasted poverty and deprivation. If you had, your perspective concerning certain issues will change.

Don't get me wrong, only if you have means to train them

I'm not saying marry early when you are not capable

I never married early either

Then your dad must be a very good man... I envy you.

Dexy4yah:
I just want to be lucky in marriage like my dad.

The goal was to marry at 28, after NYSC, but Nigeria economy got me trying to balance, but finally took the bold steps at 39 which seems late, but I still thank God. because i enter into marriage with matured mind.

I married a bit early, 27. The journey has been worth while... No Regrets,am blessed to say that God has been Faithful.

Imma624:
Men who married early at 23, 24, 25 or before 30. Do you regret your decision or enjoy marrying early.
Let's discuss.....mature responses only

isio1:
Marrying early brings a lot of joy, when I see my children and grandchildren. today I have little or no worries. I married at the age of 22, became a grandfather at 46+ today I am so happy because one of my grandchildren is already in the Uni at age 17 and my last born is serving (NYSC) already. Life in the 80s was fun, more habitable and cheaper, unlike the new World of today.

I dint know we have nairalanders that are as old as you sound here

Nnamdipapa:
I will never make that mistake, I know better now.

I was flowing with your replies until you got to the level of FGM.

I think it explains your wife's behavior in totality.
She would be frustrated she cannot will herself to satisfy you like other women.

Given the resources you have, her mind will never rest whenever you travel.

That resentment and frustration of being inadequate and unfulfilled will push her into being defiant and asserting herself just to emotionally protect herself from being too vulnerable to you.

If you still love her and would be happy to have her turned on sexually, it can be achieved.
The clit is just one erogenous zone out of many, not the only one.

You only need to 'train' other erogenous zones to bypass their need for the clit and rewire the brain to reach orgasm.

Being the first man to give her that feeling will transform your wife in ways you can never imagine.
A woman will do anything for a man who gives her the big O, reason why some kpai their husbands and children just to continue bleeping their boyfriends and side cocks.


But if you're tired of her and don't even want the idea of staying with her again, good luck to you.

bluebay:
So you think marrying 38 is early ? Am talking about this who got married around 25-35

Read my write up to understand, it's very late. I said if you have the means and maturity it's better you marry early as a man at most on your 30th birthday. 35 for is still very late 25-30 is better if you have what it takes

We rise by lifting others

No normal right thinking man ever planned to marry late in life but situation rewrote many plans. There's no clear cut human formula when it comes to marriage though.

First of all, marriage is for true christians and not for people thinking it is programming or coding lol. Whether you married early or lately is not the biggest issue. The biggest issue and regret is when you marry on poor spiritual foundation. Devil go teach the two of you (husband and wife) a very bitter lesson in your remaining days on earth.

While marry early when your spouse or one of you will die early, born kids that will struggle academically or in a trade, fall sick often etc.

Most times in my quiet time, I wished my parents gave birth to me 15 years later in life. I sometimes felt I was given birth to early in the 70s / 80s. If I can reverse time, I will ask God to knock out 25 years from my current chronological age.

You know why? Because in my childhood and teenage years, I suffered terribly from sickness the doctor don't have solutions to. That alone steal a lot of things from my life then while your peers were matching on. They thought I was a sickler whereas an AA genotype.

Amongst all the children, na me suffer well well both in finance, badluck, health, academics, trade, skill.

In my twenties to my late 30s, I started battling with all kinds of misfortune like sudden academic failure, memory loss, business inexplicable losses, depression, frustration, everyday wet dream for decade(s), seeing idols and old folks in dreams.

From a potential first class student to a failure. Eventually, I have to abandon university education.

If I allow all the above to happen in the life of my unborn children, I will blame my self for not correcting my bad foundation. This will affect me as a father. When your wife and children are not living a godly life, that father has failed God and the society. Don't blame nobody.

Also I'm not the type of person that will depend on children at old age for financial or any other support. I reject and renounce it long ago spiritually.

If God permits me to reach age 200, just like Moses whose eyes and vigour was that of a youth, me sef go dey bounce and still have that God strength to take care of others. While some of my mates probably wearing pampers in their 60s.

I believe strongly in God's Word now and it is what now regulate my living and not the words of canal boys writing on internet forums

Nnamdipapa:
Not good at all. This is the formative and most productive stage of a man's life, and it should be used to build wealth instead of carrying the problems of wives, kids, and in-laws. This is the root cause of generational poverty. It is a very bad idea to marry early, very bad.

Lol slayer of happily married manhoods😂

This is the root cause of generational poverty. It is a very bad idea to marry early, very bad.

dettolgel:
Well if you married late as a man and you didn't have fun or build anything tangible while single then you probably would have been better off marrying early.

The reason for marrying late would best be to see the world and build a sustainable life. Forget what people say about retiring early and having fun. There is no fun at old age, you will not travel much different ailments for most of them. Falling asleep every 30 mins even when they manage travel they can't even do much. Just sit around in bus while being driven, can't stay out late can't grove at night.

If they forget their blue pill no knacking for them, their wives are already too tired to be knacking like mad

Guy between the age of 22 and 40 for a guy that is your peak you should be able to travel the world, date women across boards attend raves and Bleep like mad. Once you marry and kids start coming as a man your life is over. As for women that solidifies their lives.

Women are built differently, they peak early and would convince men to slow down with them and before the man will notice otilo. That is why some randy ones will start running around outside to catch a glimpse of what they missed.

Life sweet sha. Imagine waking up to fresh young kpomo for Santorini. Then walk around the beach at night she no wear pant... The next summer you dey Mallorca with a different babe same cycle. Arriving hotel room very late from the beach, knack till your third leg begin pain you. Some nights you go attend raves when you no know the organizer.

Every weekend groove dey ground to attend it you dey mobile get EU kpali and small extra change, bro you be machine. Hiking with friends person most collect prick for forest. Go for long walk with a female friend you go shift pants. Guy youth is a blessing and please enjoy it responsibly while you can.

If to say you marry na normal vanilla waka you dey waka. Normal vanilla holiday no kukere walka. Even if una run amok chances dey say within short time pikin don show once pikin show church don close.

Watch your parents they stay at home all day watching Africa magic morning till night Monday through Sunday. Even when they come abroad to visit you they stay indoors all day. The best they could do is stroll to the city center. The sad part is that their kids are so engrossed in their work and raising their children that they also don't even know how to groove let alone the best places to take their parents to.

@bold:

Apart from the different women in your scenario, what stops you from having that with your wife?

Nnamdipapa:
Second WHAT.

I am trying to escape one marriage and you are suggesting another.

I will give anything to be single with FWB. I will never marry again. It has very little value to a man at this point for me.

Sorry, I found this very very very funny 😁

dettolgel:
Well if you married late as a man and you didn't have fun or build anything tangible while single then you probably would have been better off marrying early.

The reason for marrying late would best be to see the world and build a sustainable life. Forget what people say about retiring early and having fun. There is no fun at old age, you will not travel much different ailments for most of them. Falling asleep every 30 mins even when they manage travel they can't even do much. Just sit around in bus while being driven, can't stay out late can't grove at night.

If they forget their blue pill no knacking for them, their wives are already too tired to be knacking like mad

Guy between the age of 22 and 40 for a guy that is your peak you should be able to travel the world, date women across boards attend raves and Bleep like mad. Once you marry and kids start coming as a man your life is over. As for women that solidifies their lives.

Women are built differently, they peak early and would convince men to slow down with them and before the man will notice otilo. That is why some randy ones will start running around outside to catch a glimpse of what they missed.

Life sweet sha. Imagine waking up to fresh young kpomo for Santorini. Then walk around the beach at night she no wear pant... The next summer you dey Mallorca with a different babe same cycle. Arriving hotel room very late from the beach, knack till your third leg begin pain you. Some nights you go attend raves when you no know the organizer.

Every weekend groove dey ground to attend it you dey mobile get EU kpali and small extra change, bro you be machine. Hiking with friends person most collect prick for forest. Go for long walk with a female friend you go shift pants. Guy youth is a blessing and please enjoy it responsibly while you can.

If to say you marry na normal vanilla waka you dey waka. Normal vanilla holiday no kukere walka. Even if una run amok chances dey say within short time pikin don show once pikin show church don close.

Watch your parents they stay at home all day watching Africa magic morning till night Monday through Sunday. Even when they come abroad to visit you they stay indoors all day. The best they could do is stroll to the city center. The sad part is that their kids are so engrossed in their work and raising their children that they also don't even know how to groove let alone the best places to take their parents to.

You never start life. What you wrote here is what the entire world called enjoyment. You're a walking corpse though (spiritually dead)

For the fact that you are saying you will repent later after you have had enough of your worldliness means you know what you're doing. How sure are you the time will be available for repentance?

Why can't you stop your prostitution, fornication and adultery lifestyle and bond with your wife alone? You're in chains young boy.

isio1:
Marrying early brings a lot of joy, when I see my children and grandchildren. today I have little or no worries. I married at the age of 22, became a grandfather at 46+ today I am so happy because one of my grandchildren is already in the Uni at age 17 and my last born is serving (NYSC) already. Life in the 80s was fun, more habitable and cheaper, unlike the new World of today.

DO YOU MEAN YOUR CHILD AT UNI OR GRANDCHILD? IF IT'S GRANDCHILD HOW DO A 24 YEAR OLD MARRIAGE PRODUCE A GRANDCHILD IN UNI WHO IS 17?

MAKE IT MATHS PLEASE

SORRY OO MAYBE ITS ERROR BECAUSE I ALSO GAVE BIRTH EARLIER THAN YOU, HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS IN UNI AT 15+ AND TOU SAYING YOUR LAST CHILD IS SERVING IS ENTIRELY NOT MATHING

isio1:
Marrying early brings a lot of joy, when I see my children and grandchildren. today I have little or no worries. I married at the age of 22, became a grandfather at 46+ today I am so happy because one of my grandchildren is already in the Uni at age 17 and my last born is serving (NYSC) already. Life in the 80s was fun, more habitable and cheaper, unlike the new World of today.

I envy you 😍
One of the best things that can happen to a man is to marry early, especially to a young lady who had already had an understanding of what marriage is, and the responsibilities associated with it. The beauty of seeing your children grow up to meet you when you are equally young is unexplainable.

Kavod:
DO YOU MEAN YOUR CHILD AT UNI OR GRANDCHILD? IF IT'S GRANDCHILD HOW DO A 24 YEAR OLD MARRIAGE PRODUCE A GRANDCHILD IN UNI WHO IS 17?

MAKE IT MATHS PLEASE

SORRY OO MAYBE ITS ERROR BECAUSE I ALSO GAVE BIRTH EARLIER THAN YOU, HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS IN UNI AT 15+ AND TOU SAYING YOUR LAST CHILD IS SERVING IS ENTIRELY NOT MATHING

That depends on how old he is right now. In his response, he has made mention of "life in the 80's. That a clue.

I married at age 32 but I regret not marrying earlier

Nnamdipapa:
Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido.

As a Christian brother, it was no sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

I followed your story and really understand your frustration....

You worked hard(and kolokolo) from a young age, married very early and should have enjoyed the fruits of early marriage which includes early rest and flexing with your wife earlier.

Did you ever consider sexual counselling and therapy? It is not too late though.

Also, lead your home spiritually so she is under your spiritual leadership which amongst things will correct her over-religiousness.

Breaker001:
That depends on how old he is right now. In his response, he has made mention of "life in the 80's. That a clue.

Read his comment, he said he is 46+ today.

Procashtips:
Why should he go and ask others when he himself married early?

Are there no people who married late that are still poor and struggling?

You think it's by age?

You missed the point altogether. I said it was "situation specific". What works for you, may not work for another. It's neither good nor bad. It depends!

Nnamdipapa:
The kind of balance that leaves a husband perpetualy unsatisfied? It's like a woman finding out the husband had an erectile dysfunction from day one of marriage, what kind of balance would be suggested for such a woman.

None whatsoever. Female circumcision is the female equivalent of erectile dysfunction.

My brother, this your matter pass my experience level. The only thing I can suggest is go online to research how to stimulate a circumcised woman. As for the other aspects of her character, I want to believe you can use her overzealous spiritual as a tool of correction. Since she is in love with the things of God to the point of extremism, get someone in the church who she will listen to to counsel her on the need to sit up and take care of her family

Arostar2023:
You missed the point altogether. I said it was "situation specific". What works for you, may not work for another. It's neither good nor bad. It depends!

Ok.

Very situational. I got your point.

Procashtips:
What is success to you?

Hope you know the definition of success is relative?

To some, it's material possession
To others, it's the joy of being surrounded by family
Etc

That's exactly the point. To some having kids and grandkids give them happiness, to others it's burdensome. Each to his own. That's where we Africans miss it.... you must not marry simply because you are of "age" and have the means. Marry because it gives you fulfillment.