₦airaland Forum

Pls note, this thread is a floor for married, divorced or separated folks to discuss and share insight from experience. Single should just observe and learn

Now, what are the challenges you faced/are facing in your marriage?

What step did you take wrongly?

In my marriage, I struggle with effective communication. Sometimes both of us expect each other to read our minds. In fact, I just try my best to avoid conflict.

As for wrong decisions or steps that will definitely be being too diplomatic. That often compromise my position as the head of the family

My marriages are sweet and trouble-free because I'm the one who starts the problem. Before any of my wives can think of how to frustrate me I quickly drop one big family issue on them. It can be impregnating a church member or neighbour's daughter. It could be slapping a relative.

These keep them occupied for the time being.
No quarrels, no fights, no nagging.


Keep your woman occupied with wahala to experience joyful peace in your home.

Don't marry illiterate for the singles, whether man or woman pls run from them. They always feel cheated as if you are the cause of their illiteracy. My challenges are plenty ranging from children to husband but it is well.

dollytino4real:
No marry illiterate 4 d singles, whether man or woman pls run from dem, dey always feel cheated as if u are the cause of their illiteracy. My challenges are plenty ranging from children to husband but ,( it is well)

This is a very funny advice to give in this day and time.😂😂😂😂😂

Marriage is a sacrifice bit don't sacrifice yourself and your family life sha

Before You Say “I Do” please open your eyes, ears, mouth and nose and absorb this piece on the Dos and Don’ts of Marriage

My brothers and sisters, let me tell you something very important marriage is not a joke. It’s not all about romance and affection every day. It’s not an Instagram highlight reel. It will test your patience, your finances, your peace of mind, and even your mental health if you don’t choose the right partner.
This is my 6th year in Marriage to the Glory of God.
The best part is I met my wife here on this platform.
You see all those proposals and weddings we see online? They’re beautiful to watch. But the real challenge begins after the wedding day. Let me break it down for you like someone who has experienced it firsthand.

Do Marry for Shared Values, Not Just Feelings
Emotions fade, values are sustainable. Marry someone who aligns with your core beliefs, faith, family, finance, lifestyle, and even how you handle conflict.

Do Observe beyond sweet talk
Watch how they behave when angry, under pressure, or when they don’t get their way. That’s their real self, not the one they show you during dinner dates.

Do ask the hard questions
What are your views on money? Children? Religion? Family involvement? Gender roles? Mental health? Don't avoid these conversations please, they are the foundation.

Do watch how they treat others
The way your partner treats domestic staff, waiters, or even their own parents says a lot. Kindness must go beyond you.

Please have a life before you venture into marriage
Be emotionally, spiritually, and financially stable, or at least on your way there. Marriage is not an escape route. It exposes rather than solves problems.

Please Do insist on mutual respect
Respect is the oxygen of a healthy marriage. Once it’s gone, love begins to choke. Both partners must feel heard, valued, and safe please.

Please Do involve trusted mentors or counsellors. You can also reach out to me
Go for premarital counselling. Not just church-based, but real, honest conversations with someone who can ask the tough questions without bias.

Now let's look at some of the DON'TS
Please never you marry out of pity, pressure or pregnancy
None of these are solid foundations for a lifelong journey. Love and purpose should lead, not panic or manipulation.

Please and Please, don't assume you can change your partner
Marriage doesn’t transform people; it magnifies who they already are. If you can’t accept them as they are today, don’t marry hoping they’ll evolve tomorrow. You will regret.

Please don't underestimate family influence
If their family is toxic and they don’t know how to set boundaries, brace yourself—you might not just be marrying them but their entire household

Please don't go silence on finance
Talk about debts, spending habits, income, and responsibilities. Secrets around money are slow poisons in many marriages.

Please don't marry someone who can't apologize or forgive
Offences will come. A partner who lacks humility to say “I’m sorry” or the maturity to forgive will become a source of pain, not peace.

don't prioritize what people will say over your peace
Too many people stay stuck in toxic marriages because of shame or society. Remember, it’s your life, not theirs. Know when to walk away. It's a time bomb to stay in a toxic marriage. One-day it will explode.

Finally Make una no rush enter marriage oooo. Wedding na one day, marriage na lifetime. If you go enter, shine your eyes, not wetin society dey shout. Delay no be denial. No use ring take enter prison.
Its better to remain single than say “God, why me?” every night after marriage.
Shine your eye o. Love no dey blind. Na people dey close eye enter fire.
it's better to wait long than to marry wrong

Marriage is a sacrifice bit don't sacrifice yourself and your family life sha.
Walk is the answer to marriage with issues.

The respect my wife places on me despite her societal status is top notch. I'm a lucky guy.

God Forgave Prostitutes, But When it Was Time to Pick The Mother Of His Son, He Chose a Virgin, Brothers You Can Forgive The Long Term Prostitutes in The Church Like God Has Forgave Them, But When it Comes to Choosing The Mother Of Your Kids, Be Like God

If you are not ready to be LOYAL AND SUBMISSIVE to a man, stay single and be m!ser@ble.

If a man can't tell you what to do, stay in your father's house and suffer with a Love Machine every night for the rest of your life

This thread should be interesting.

Funkeeeee, bring the pop corn

Ladies, "Until a Man Has Married You, He is Not Obligated to Be Responsible For You. Whatever He Does , It is Out of The Generosity of His Heart ,You Should Never Feel Entitled to His Money"

Marriage has its challenges however, the joy it gives outweighs the challenges.

What I have learned:

You don't complain about everything and when you have to, find the appropriate time when both parties can actually discuss what the concerns are without feeling attacked about it.

Discuss whatever you think is going to be important to you while courting. This helps find a lasting solution/conclusion to issues that may arise since there is already a position before now.

Be sincere about your thoughts and emotions.

Learn to be very open about your finances (For us, we do joint up to 95% of earnings and 5% is available to do whatever each person wants. It doesn't mean you can't request funds for personal use from the 95%. For example, if I want to give to someone I think is in need and I feel I want to help out even if my wife doesn't know the person. I just have to explain why I want to and would want us to do it from the 95%.) and understand you come from different backgrounds (A good example is my wife will buy anything she thinks the children needs without recourse to the cost while sometimes, I feel it isn't so necessary. I have learned to look elsewhere since she will always seek permission before buying them).

Be tolerant of one another.

On a funny note, find friends online you can rant to if you need rant about anything. Also, sex is not guaranteed but can always be earned by both parties. Just do the right things (help with everything that concerns the house) and you will be surprised how you get it whenever you want it.

I have a beautiful marriage. The only challenge is the my hubby is hardly around, always travelling. I sometimes feel lonely.
I also wish we had more money to enable me get a softer babygirl life

As a young man,

Look for a virgin and Marry, you're not wiser than God who looked for a virgin to birth his son

Divorced..... Yeah and I'm happier than ever.
Dear ladies,
Until you agree to submit to a man as you submitted to your father you will continue crying in relationships and marriage.

atobs4real:
Marriage is a sacrifice bit don't sacrifice yourself sha

Sacrifice of what and for what, abeg? Marriage is sold as a better alternative than singledom for those who are not satisfied with singledom... Am I wrong? If you are going to drone on and on about sacrifice this and that in marriage, why not just remain single, and enjoy it without all the supposed sacrifices?

My marriage is in good hands and sure he got me.(GOD).. although I do mess up sometimes and my partner too but still we let peace reign,nobody is perfect we just have to blend each other to our satisfaction till death comes knocking.. got some bad attitude 😊 like taking alcohol,now stopped smoking..only praying someday I stop alcohol too and I hope soon .
No go dey form king Kong when wrong always be ready to apologize for your wrong dids,doing this you are both good to go that's if the love is genuine and true.

You should travel with him sometimes... That's if he'd be okay with it.

Ouchbabe:
I have a beautiful marriage. The only challenge is the my hubby is hardly around, always travelling. I sometimes feel lonely.
I also wish we had more money to enable me get a softer babygirl life

All ears. We the unmarried are here to learn.

Goo0dHardDick:
➜As a young man, Look for a virgin and Marry, you're not wiser than God who looked for a virgin to birth his son

Correction, Christianity(a religion created by the Romans for political purposes) is the one that sold you all on the story about virgins. The writings in the book instead use the term virgin to refer broadly to unmarried women.

If you feel, like much of Christianity, that virginity has to do with purity, then what you are inadvertently indicating is that by having a dick, you are impure. There is nothing in the book that suggests merging the impure with that which is pure results in wholeness or purity. Rather, it is the opposite.

Let me grab a seat and wait for the experienced folks

Goo0dHardDick:
As a young man,

Look for a virgin and Marry, you're not wiser than God who looked for a virgin to birth his son

una sha wan kill these girls finish.
the one wey dey even make me laugh, girl wey dem dun sleep with finish go dey say one man no be im type. I dey pity plenty boys sha, lots of guys no know their worth

Any female that is not ready or willing to respect or be submissive to her husband doesn't want marriage but just wedding.
Wether illiterate, educated, civilize, rich or poor.
Wedding is just for a day but marriage is for life time

Kobojunkie:
Sacrifice of what and for what, abeg? Marriage is sold as a better alternative than singledom for those who are not satisfied with singledom... Am I wrong? If you are going to drone on and on about sacrifice this and that in marriage, why not just remain single, and enjoy it without all the supposed sacrifices?

Fair point.

But maybe it's for a higher purpose - as defined by the marrier. For example, you want kids and you feel that is best done within marriage. So you make sacrifices to get what you want.

Negroid001:
All ears. We the unmarried are here to learn.

You wan learn how to be divorced when u eventually marry?

agadam:
➜We Singles are afraid of getting married to the wrong one.

Please seek the help of a professional mental health psychiatrist to guide you through overcoming those fears of yours. Yes, marriage isn't do or die, but one does not need to approach it with fear, as there are ways out of bad ones and opportunities for one to grow in or out of it.

Let me buy this plot of land because i have a whole lot to say, so sit back and relax while i prepare my epistle