₦airaland Forum

highchief1:
marriage na scam.i have falllen for it.im working on modalities to walk out of it.na my kids welfare I Dey consider.theres no need to marry a naija woman.They are only after what u can provide.i have not seen a Nigerian woman that loves a man genuinely.

You never believe in marriage to begin with. So that explains why you are pessimistic

goodmuscopi:
➜You don't like her. You like what she carries. Meanwhile, at 34, a lady should tell when she who want to just play from a real deal

No mind am! Make him free the woman o'jare! or else, months from now, he go come back come open thread complain of how the same lady na the root of all his problems. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

njokuuche77:
Before You Say “I Do” please open your ears, mouth and nose and listen to this piece on the Dos and Don’ts of Marriage

My brothers and sisters, let me tell you something very important marriage is not a joke. It’s not all about romance and affection every day. It’s not an Instagram highlight reel. It will test your patience, your finances, your peace of mind, and even your mental health if you don’t choose the right partner.
This is my 6th year in Marriage to the Glory of God.
The best part is I met my wife here on this platform.
You see all those proposals and weddings we see online? They’re beautiful to watch. But the real challenge begins after the wedding day. Let me break it down for you like someone who has experienced it firsthand.

Do Marry for Shared Values, Not Just Feelings
Emotions fade, values are sustainable. Marry someone who aligns with your core beliefs, faith, family, finance, lifestyle, and even how you handle conflict.

Do Observe beyond sweet talk
Watch how they behave when angry, under pressure, or when they don’t get their way. That’s their real self, not the one they show you during dinner dates.

Do ask the hard questions
What are your views on money? Children? Religion? Family involvement? Gender roles? Mental health? Don't avoid these conversations please, they are the foundation.

Do watch how they treat others
The way your partner treats domestic staff, waiters, or even their own parents says a lot. Kindness must go beyond you.

Please have a life before you venture into marriage
Be emotionally, spiritually, and financially stable, or at least on your way there. Marriage is not an escape route. It exposes rather than solves problems.

Please Do insist on mutual respect
Respect is the oxygen of a healthy marriage. Once it’s gone, love begins to choke. Both partners must feel heard, valued, and safe please.

Please Do involve trusted mentors or counsellors. You can also reach out to me
Go for premarital counselling. Not just church-based, but real, honest conversations with someone who can ask the tough questions without bias.

Now let's look at some of the DON'TS
Please never you marry out of pity, pressure or pregnancy
None of these are solid foundations for a lifelong journey. Love and purpose should lead, not panic or manipulation.

Please and Please, don't assume you can change your partner
Marriage doesn’t transform people; it magnifies who they already are. If you can’t accept them as they are today, don’t marry hoping they’ll evolve tomorrow. You will regret.

You forgot to add the views on Medicare, and child bearing

And not couples must not model their marriage or personal life on an influencer or celeb.

Switruth:
The respect my wife places on me despite her societal status is top notch. I'm a lucky guy.

Don't be too comfortable sir. Try to know why.
The motive matters

Hushpuppy20:
Ahhhh life of a married woman is very bad especially in Nigeria, I have one religious sister at work sometimes ago, she's happily married BUT she's dating our MD in which I am the only one that knows about it. How I get to know I don't want anybody to ask, but the point is she use to have good relationships with the husband, also the husband is very ok. But why she's having extra marital affairs that is what am trying to find out. But till this moment she thought I don't know and the point is I am very disappointed in her.

Do not be disappointed in her. It's not anything surprising. At least 70% of marriages in Nigeria are on this table. Some, Their spouse knows their Wives are cheating (Vice Versa) and Some, their spouse would defend their wives and deny such with their lives

No Nation in the world comes close to Nigeria when it comes to Adultery and Promiscuous life. South Africa sef dey learn

Most Nigerians just love to deceive themselves.

Anyone who wants to confirm my assertion should volunteer to go work at Hotels.

If i should decide to start posting my experiences with most Married People in Nigeria. This space won't contain it.

Antoeni:
God Forgave Prostitutes, But When it Was Time to Pick The Mother Of His Son, He Chose a Virgin, Brothers You Can Forgive The Long Term Prostitutes in The Church Like God Has Forgave Them, But When it Comes to Choosing The Mother Of Your Kids, Be Like God

That's a joke right? But trust me it's a dry joke

Antoeni:
If you are not ready to be LOYAL AND SUBMISSIVE to a man, stay single and be m!ser@ble.

If a man can't tell you what to do, stay in your father's house and suffer with a Love Machine every night for the rest of your life

That is harsh and thoughtless. But I get your point

MrSly:
Says a second class lower or third class certificate holder. They are the only ones that reason this way. High flying ladies in academics use their wealth of experience to upgrade their spouses but oharoad let my people go people always want to rub it on their spouses face that they saw the forewalls of the university of even poly. Repent!

she was right. I have been there. Bible said you should not be unequally yoked. An illiterate willing to learn is different but most are not willing and will pose a great risk.

Switruth:
Yes. She is cooking your head for dinner.

don't mind highchief, his wife cooked monkey nyash for him😂😂

Ouchbabe:
I have a beautiful marriage. The only challenge is the my hubby is hardly around, always travelling. I sometimes feel lonely.
I also wish we had more money to enable me get a softer babygirl life

Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes we desire a life that brings problem to us

MrSly:
Says a second class lower or third class certificate holder. They are the only ones that reason this way. High flying ladies in academics use their wealth of experience to upgrade their spouses but oharoad let my people go people always want to rub it on their spouses face that they saw the forewalls of the university of even poly. Repent!

see me see 1st class Romeo go fry beans abeg

goodmuscopi:
You don't like her. You like what she carries. Meanwhile, at 34, a lady should tell when she who want to just play from a real deal

I love her a lot guy. She sef knows. I have intentions of taking the relationship further. My point is why stress me a lot. At this age, she should just allow me do trad and load her first, then we conclude the rest later.

lendahand:
I love her a lot guy. She sef knows. I have intentions of taking the relationship further. My point is why stress me a lot. At this age, she should just allow me do trad and load her first, then we conclude the rest later.

no dey allow woman give you condition oooo ...if you allow her from this stage just know say na so she go continue dey condition you even in marriage.

goodmuscopi:
Don't be too comfortable sir. Try to know why.
The motive matters

My first girl is 25. Lol...........Are you seeing what I'm sawing ?

lendahand:
don't mind highchief, his wife cooked monkey nyash for him😂😂

hahahahahahaha. 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀. Thank you my brother. How's everything going?

lendahand:
imagine 34 year old lady I want to marry is insisting on court wedding, trad and white wedding before she will allow me have sex with her, can you imagine? Me I like her and she is a virgin but her conditions can't be met by me.

how sure are you she's a virgin?

naijapikin2:
See ehn... This thread is timely. I am married (for want of a better word).. the case of divorce between her and I, has been in court for close to a year. And it's expensive. I just cleared the last installment of payment 3 weeks ago, so we both will be free say by this month end. Wahala everywhere... To marry wahala... To divorce wahala.

I won't advice ant young man to do court wedding sam sam. Just do traditional after you must have impregnated her. As for us... Our wedding didn't produce any children.

I'll come here and celebrate, maybe do giveaway when the divorce is concluded.

Nothing like peace of mind o.
. wallahi

Your marriage didn't bring forth children.

Good to hear this.

A deep sigh of relief.

Lots of innocent children suffer for what they know absolutely nothing about.

Make una part ways sharp go restart una lives anyhow una like and deal with una subsequent traumas.

Switruth:
My first girl is 25. Lol...........Are you seeing what I'm sawing ?

Na you dey chase curves and vibes. Next time leave the age out and check emotional stability

lendahand:
I love her a lot guy. She sef knows. I have intentions of taking the relationship further. My point is why stress me a lot. At this age, she should just allow me do trad and load her first, then we conclude the rest later.

Well that should be enough. But you can't travel to some countries as a couple with traditional marriage cert.

lendahand:
➜I love her a lot guy. She sef knows. I have intentions of taking the relationship further. My point is why stress me a lot. At this age, she should just allow me do trad and load her first, then we conclude the rest later.

If she wants a court marriage, it means you two are not heading in the right direction. She wants a different kind of marriage than what you want. Can't you see that the differences are already massive between the two of you?

JovialJune:
Hope you know that Rahab the harlot in the Bible is among the bloodline of Jesus Christ, so stop yapping spittle about in ignorance.

Many of them know nothing about the reality of life.

My brother's pastor was usually using his wife as a perfect example of the kind of woman the young men in church should look for because he married her a virgin in those days. Unknown to him, his close friend slept with her later on, some of the time in his room. Those who knew didn't know how to tell him because he had anger issues and because they knew he would never forgive the woman and may even harm her. The pastor himself was a bit suspicious because he found them together in his room one day but he was confused because the man was on the ground prostrating to the woman. He ended up helping the man to beg his own wife despite the fact that they refused to tell him what the matter was. He died without knowing anything.

I begin to learn alot about relationship, woman can love you and still love another person, if you like be rich like elon musk if she want to Bleep your gate man she will Bleep your gateman.

Manculated:
Do not be disappointed in her. It's not anything surprising. At least 70% of marriages in Nigeria are on this table. Some, Their spouse knows their Wives are cheating (Vice Versa) and Some, their spouse would defend their wives and deny such with their lives

No Nation in the world comes close to Nigeria when it comes to Adultery and Promiscuous life. South Africa sef dey learn

Most Nigerians just love to deceive themselves.

Anyone who wants to confirm my assertion should volunteer to go work at Hotels.

If i should decide to start posting my experiences with most Married People in Nigeria. This space won't contain it.

highchief1:
marriage na scam.i have falllen for it.im working on modalities to walk out of it.na my kids welfare I Dey consider.theres no need to marry a naija woman.They are only after what u can provide.i have not seen a Nigerian woman that loves a man genuinely.

I do not mean to make jest of you.

The way life is structured is very complex.

I wouldn't agree with your statement "Marriage Na Scam" as the standard for everyone. I would only agree if it's that's your perception and what you experienced which is your personal opinion.

There are men up there whom their perception and experiences with regards to marriage contradict yours. They are enjoying their marriages. Wether they are being sincere about their statements or not is really not of my concern.

What i have come to realize about life is, Most men aren't taught the "Important Things" they really need to know about LIFE!

In LIFE, You must do your personal Due Dilligence in whatever you want to indulge in because there are Consequences (Good or Bad) for every action and decision taken!

lendahand:
imagine 34 year old lady I want to marry is insisting on court wedding, trad and white wedding before she will allow me have sex with her, can you imagine? Me I like her and she is a virgin but her conditions can't be met by me.

So, do you expect her to give you her chastity for free without a sense of commitment knowing you are bound to eventually flop considering how humans can be unstable and mentally volatile? Do you really expect her to do so? Think your response well and respond truthfully.

UnknownQueen:
Married but living like flat mates in the home, ladies in all u do, don't marry a narcissist, there's a difference between a man who wants respect and submission and a narcissist who is there to frustrate life outta u.....there's a thin line btw these two but I tell u for free,

Nigerian men are freaking narcissists

At the bolded.

This is not to be generalized.

I sincerely hope you get healed.

There are good and loving men in Nigeria.

Kobojunkie:
Sacrifice of what and for what, abeg? Marriage is sold as a better alternative than singledom for those who are not satisfied with singledom... Am I wrong? If you are going to drone on and on about sacrifice this and that in marriage, why not just remain single, and enjoy it without all the supposed sacrifices?

Men have always sacrifice for most things mostly when women and children are involved.
That is why lady always want the baby girl treatment in marriage.
It's an expectation that the man sacrifice for his family (wife and children).
No man is actually complaining, the women just have to honour her husband

tollyboy5:
➜Men have always sacrifice for most things mostly when women and children are involved.
➜ That is why lady always want the baby girl treatment in marriage.
➜ It's an expectation that the man sacrifice for his family (wife and children).
➜ No man is actually complaining,
➜ the women just have to honour her husband

1. Exactly what did these men sacrifice? Name them. 🤔

2. Which lady wants this treatment? A lady who works or a lady who does not work at all?

3. Again, what exactly does a man sacrifice for his family(wife and children)?

4. With all of those complaining on this thread, no one is complaining?

5. Honor her husband in what way? And is this honor construed as a form of sacrifice or not?

dollytino4real:
Don't marry illiterate for the singles, whether man or woman pls run from them. They always feel cheated as if you are the cause of their illiteracy. My challenges are plenty ranging from children to husband but it is well.

My brother u won my heart 😢 infact I saw the red flag but I was thinking it may not count since am aging and needed just a kid but in reality illiterate is truly a disease..

Infact u have to explain and explain some basic concept that a litrate educate lady will understand in a blink of an eye.

Even when it gets to discussion u guys can't relate because she is dump and if she is wrong and u try to put her through again she will feel betrayed and cheated 😢😢😭

As I am if I get an educated lady today and I see our relationship make sense I can divorce and start afresh after all my aim has been achieved ..
.just to have kid....


I need to enjoy my life am in my early 40s

Manculated:
At the bolded.

This is not to be generalized.

I sincerely hope you get healed.

There are good and loving men in Nigeria.

I agree but they're only a very few of them .....

Till date, I'll forever be grateful to God Almighty for my husband and the father of my kids. My husband is a perfect fit for me.
I thank God for bringing such a man my way. It could only have been God.

When I see the very wicked men, heartless ones, immatured ones, foolish ones, selfish ones, women haters, women shamers, abusers,etc that have infiltrated our world, I just keep thanking God. Guess I am among the few lucky ones cause I haven't faced marital challenges that is beyond me.

If you're single and wishing to be married to be the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. I'll advice you don't ridicule yourself with a list( I want a man or woman who is blah blah blah). Be the list. Build yourself to maturity. Strip yourself of every carnal desires and you'll get who/what you want.

I don't want to believe that people marry who they deserve 'cause He's a God of mercy.

VeryWickedMan:
My marriages are sweet and trouble-free because I'm the one who starts the problem. Before any of my wives can think of how to frustrate me I quickly drop one big family issue on them. It can be impregnating a church member or neighbour's daughter. It could be slapping a relative.

These keep them occupied for the time being.
No quarrels, no fights, no nagging.


Keep your woman occupied with wahala to experience joyful peace in your home.

This can't be for real! You yourself will reap what you sow. Doing evil can never give you peace.