₦airaland Forum

A civil servant that started working when Nigeria was booming in 1970s.

He Worked 12 years being single before getting married.
That 12 years he worked was useless.

He didn’t marry his wife properly. No wedding pic of them as husband and wife.
No house of his own, no property,
No car , nothing.
What did he do with those 12 years.

Is it the remaining 23 years remaining to serve or retire , he will achieve anything being married with responsibilities.

This my unfortunate dad never achieved anything throughout his 35 years of working.
He was busy blaming his wife for putting him in chronic debt,
Now I sat down and began to think that this man was already a failure before he got married.
Because you have use 1/3 of your 35 years as a single man yet no single achievement.

Some men don’t deserve to married.
My dad is an evil man seriously speaking,
He knew he was a devil that has failed and instead of him to go to one seminary school.

He choose to go one village to deceive one illiterate girl to marry so they will bring innocent kid to suffer untold suffering.
Is this not pure witch crafts

Oga no need to hate your father
U sef go born
U sef take responsibility.
Nobody is perfect, you didn't know the problems he had as at then. He did what he did with the limited knowledge he has then.

Lighterx:
Oga no need to hate your father
U sef go born
U sef take responsibility.
Nobody is perfect, you didn't know the problems he had as at then. He did what he did with the limited knowledge he has then.

He should have been a rev father,
He knew his kids will find life unbearable why did not first sort his life before getting married,

MrHandsome2013:
He should have been a rev father,
He knew his kids will find life unbearable why did not first sort his life before getting married,

Did his father leave any wealth for him as you expect him to leave for you? If he was born in a poor background and you are also born in the same poor background, then do what you expected him to do so your children will not be born in a poor background too.

You're blaming your father alone, what happened to your mother? She's also an adult with complete body, so she's capable of working and giving you the good life.

Sometimes people don't think. I'm sure you're an adult already so get up and create the life you desire and stop blaming your father.

PuZZyNegro:
Did his father leave any wealth for him as you expect him to leave for you? If he was born in a poor background and you are also born in the same poor background, then do what you expected him to do so your children will not be born in a poor background too.

You're blaming your father alone, what happened to your mother? She's also an adult with complete body, so she's capable of working and giving you the good life.

Sometimes people don't think. I'm sure you're an adult already so get up and create the life you desire and stop blaming your father.

You see why I blame him, he knew he was from a poor background, he still went to marry from a poor background.
He knew he was from a polygamous family, he still went to marry from a polygamous family.
He knew he was from a family where dey hate each other , he still went to marry from such family.
That seed of hatred still exists among our siblings.
Baba this man is evil and worst than Lucifer

MrHandsome2013:
He should have been a rev father,
He knew his kids will find life unbearable why did not first sort his life before getting married,

First sign of a uselezss and entitled kid is refusing to accept responsibilities and blaming others for his failures in life.

Your dad has lived his life, perhaps he missed it and didnt get it right...now it's your turn to get it right.

Dude, sit Ur azzz up and start hustling. It's now or never otherwise Ur kid will say the same thing about you

MrHandsome2013:
You see why I blame him, he knew he was from a poor background, he still went to marry from a poor background.
He knew he was from a polygamous family, he still went to marry from a polygamous family.
He knew he was from a family where dey hate each other , he still went to marry from such family.
That seed of hatred still exists among our siblings.
Baba this man is evil and worst than Lucifer

There are cycles and patterns which repeat itself in families, either good or bad. From your explanation, this is a gloomy pattern which you will have to break if you don't want your kids to accuse you like you are doing to you dad now. Believe me, it will take time, dedication, watchfulness laced with spirituality hence... you as well might by mistake slip into it. Please do it for your own lineage, sacrifice all to be the liberator.

I use to blame my dad like u, mine was almost like yours , woman brought him down , but am happy before he passed away he helped me with were I can buy a land , a thing am proud of him , now I determine to never waste any opportunity given to me, forget him and push forward leave anything woman alone , usually I started understand that salary work is not good but business work on daily income, 12yrs I have not been married, but I have achieved a few properties on my own . Stop blaming your dad and start think positive

MrHandsome2013:
➜A civil servant that started working when Nigeria was booming in 1970s. He Worked 12 years being single before getting married. That 12 years he worked was useless. He didn’t marry his wife properly. No wedding pic of them as husband and wife. No house of his own, no property, No car , nothing. What did he do with those 12 years. Is it the remaining 23 years remaining to serve or retire , he will achieve anything being married with responsibilities. This my unfortunate dad never achieved anything throughout his 35 years of working. He was busy blaming his wife for putting him in chronic debt,
➜Now I sat down and began to think that this man was already a failure before he got married. Because you have use 1/3 of your 35 years as a single man yet no single achievement. Some men don’t deserve to married. My dad is an evil man seriously speaking, He knew he was a devil that has failed and instead of him to go to one seminary school. He choose to go one village to deceive one illiterate girl to marry so they will bring innocent kid to suffer untold suffering. Is this not pure witch crafts

This story is sad but very common. But I believe in fairness, so let's not stay silent on the part played by women who reward such men with children who will, in turn, live a life of suffering for their terrible decisions, i.e, your mother and now this illiterate village girl.

Lighterx:
➜Oga no need to hate your father. U sef go born U sef take responsibility. Nobody is perfect, you didn't know the problems he had as at then. He did what he did with the limited knowledge he has then.

If you don't draw the line on that which is completely unacceptable, is it that you intend to see a repeat of the very same in your own life?

Kobojunkie:
If you don't draw the line on that which is completely unacceptable, is it that you intend to see a repeat of the very same in your own life?

Wetin u dey talk
U just use English spoil everything. Nna

PuZZyNegro:
➜Did his father leave any wealth for him as you expect him to leave for you? If he was born in a poor background and you are also born in the same poor background, then do what you expected him to do so your children will not be born in a poor background too.
➜ You're blaming your father alone, what happened to your mother? She's also an adult with complete body, so she's capable of working and giving you the good life.
➜Sometimes people don't think. I'm sure you're an adult already so get up and create the life you desire and stop blaming your father.

That makes no sense! Are you insinuating that if one's father did not leave any wealth behind for his own children, he therefore cannot be expected to do otherwise? Are you OK at all?

2. Definitely, the women who reward these bad fathers with children they are aware will not live a life better than theirs are equally to blame.

3. He can still live his life while ensuring he places blame where it belongs, which is with his father and mother failed at being better parents and providers.

MrHandsome2013:
➜You see why I blame him, he knew he was from a poor background, he still went to marry from a poor background. He knew he was from a polygamous family, he still went to marry from a polygamous family. He knew he was from a family where dey hate each other , he still went to marry from such family. That seed of hatred still exists among our siblings. Baba this man is evil and worst than Lucifer

Don't forget to include your mother and your father's other baby mamas in all of this. They have their share of the blame.

MrHandsome2013:
A civil servant that started working when Nigeria was booming in 1970s
He Worked 12 years being single before getting married.
That 12 years he worked was useless.
He didn’t marry his wife properly. No wedding pic of them as husband and wife.
No house of his own, no property,
No car , nothing.
What did he do with those 12 years.
Is it the remaining 23 years remaining to serve or retire , he will achieve anything being married with responsibilities.
This my unfortunate dad never achieved anything throughout his 35 years of working.
He was busy blaming his wife for putting him in chronic debt,
Now I sat down and began to think that this man was already a failure before he got married.
Because you have use 1/3 of your 35 years as a single man yet no single achievement.
Some men don’t deserve to married.
My dad is an evil man seriously speaking,
He knew he was a devil that has failed and instead of him to go to one seminary school .
He choose to go one village to deceive one illiterate girl to marry so they will bring innocent kid to suffer untold suffering.
Is this not pure witch crafts

okay!!! We don hear your father story, it's your turn now, we already know you were born poor, so my brother you don't need to die poor, the ball s in your court now let see how you are goin to play it.

G0odharddick:
➜First sign of a uselezss and entitled kid is refusing to accept responsibilities and blaming others for his failures in life.
➜ Your dad has lived his life, perhaps he missed it and didnt get it right...now it's your turn to get it right. Dude, sit Ur azzz up and start hustling. It's now or never otherwise Ur kid will say the same thing about you

Rubbish! He is actually on the right path by acknowledging the failures of his parents before him, rather than internalizing or ignoring them.

2. OP's life is also a result of the choices made by his dad and his mother. Over 130 million Nigerians today find themselves stuck in abject poverty because of bad decisions made by their fathers and mothers before them. Ignoring this fact is not going to solve the problem.

Smilleydr:
➜okay!!! We don hear your father story, it's your turn now, we already know you were born poor, so my brother you don't need to die poor, the ball s in your court now let see how you are goin to play it.

Are you telling him that, being born in generational poverty without opportunities, he can magically save himself from poverty? Reality is that, no matter how hard they struggle and push themselves, 10s of millions of Nigerians... probably over 120 million of them, will live their lives stuck in poverty until death. So, please don't address people who are poor so lightly. No amount of motivational speeches will change this.

Don't worry what makes you think your father is useless you will soon get to that stage,then you get to understand him well.

hakeemhakeem:
Don't worry what makes you think your father is useless you will soon get to that stage,then you get to understand him well.

Stop lying to him.

The sign of maturity is the ability to make good decisions and take responsibility for the outcomes of one's decisions. OP and all others who come to similar realization can actively make decisions to avoid making the same terrible decisions their parents made.

Kobojunkie:
That makes no sense! Are you insinuating that if one's father did not leave any wealth behind for his own children, he therefore cannot be expected to do otherwise? Are you OK at all?

2. Definitely, the women who reward these bad fathers with children they are aware will not live a life better than theirs are equally to blame.

3. He can still live his life while ensuring he places blame where it belongs, which is with his father and mother failed at being better parents and providers.

You’re the one that's not okay bro.

If his father is expected to make it despite not coming from a privileged background, the poster should make it too by correcting his father's mistake.

PuZZyNegro:
➜You’re the one that's not okay bro. If his father is expected to make it despite not coming from a privileged background,
➜ the poster should make it too by correcting his father's mistake.

You are not making any sense!

His father was well aware of the impossibilities before him before getting married. He was well aware of the impossibility of his situation before having children by his first woman and then the second woman. He knew it was not going to work, yet he decided to not only have an unemployed woman as his wife(the second as well), but also have loads of children, all while aware he did not have the resources to cater to them. Who do we blame for the foolishness of all of this? No one or the man whose decisions they all were?

2. Correct his father's mistake, why? Why should he bear responsibility for his father's mistakes?

If care is not taken you 'd be worst than your father.

Hmmm

Dude, I wanted to call you the real name you deserve but I don't want nairaland uncles to ban me.
Did your father train you in school? Did he provide food and other basic needs? Are you bitter that he didn't provide luxury?

How old are you? Are you married with children? When you become a man you will understand your father's side of the story.

I often advise;
it is not a must that you must have kids.
If you don't have what it takes to raise kids emotionally, financially etc & in a loving & happy home, please don't bring in kids into this world.

All the cultural pressures about sustaining your lineage should not force you to produce kids that you can not adequately take care of, kids that will suffer in life & later become a nuisance & a curse to you.
Afterall, a dead man has no feelings & does not bother about lineage.

MrHandsome2013:
A civil servant that started working when Nigeria was booming in 1970s.

He Worked 12 years being single before getting married.
That 12 years he worked was useless.

He didn’t marry his wife properly. No wedding pic of them as husband and wife.
No house of his own, no property,
No car , nothing.
What did he do with those 12 years.

Is it the remaining 23 years remaining to serve or retire , he will achieve anything being married with responsibilities.

This my unfortunate dad never achieved anything throughout his 35 years of working.
He was busy blaming his wife for putting him in chronic debt,
Now I sat down and began to think that this man was already a failure before he got married.
Because you have use 1/3 of your 35 years as a single man yet no single achievement.

Some men don’t deserve to married.
My dad is an evil man seriously speaking,
He knew he was a devil that has failed and instead of him to go to one seminary school.

He choose to go one village to deceive one illiterate girl to marry so they will bring innocent kid to suffer untold suffering.
Is this not pure witch crafts

Are u sure u know what u are saying?


Life as a civil servant is very tough.

Well,with time u will certainly be a man and may be apologise some day.

It is not always the way u are saying it now.

Hmmmmm


Please add the rest hhhu7ujrjfdjrjj

Your dad is evil because he is poor

What are you doing to change your own situation

You are blaming your dad for your own condition

If you are blessed with good parents, thank God. If otherwise, accept it as your test in life, there is no honour in dragging your parent online! The command is not to say as little as "uff" to them. Now imagine you dragging your dad online! Serve God and serve your parents!