₦airaland Forum

DestinedForGrea:
Bros, masturbation is a huge part of his problem.

I've been a victim, and I can tell you for a fact that I've experienced literally everything that the OP shared. Go all over the internet and see a lot of people share the exact same experiences. At the end of the year, VDM who appears so bold in front of a camera shared his experience of how masturbation almost ruined his life.

All these can't be coincidences. The most common adverse effects are anxiety, low self esteem, inability to focus on a task for so long. Ultimately, these traits lead to lack of productivity, declining relationships with people, rejection, etc. People start to perceive you as weird, and then they don't want to get in touch with you. It's worse when you're not that naturally good looking. It's tough for someone going through these things to have a drive.

The thing is there's something masturbation and pornography does to the brain that I think science has no conclusive explanation for at the moment. Basically, it alters the brain's chemistry and causes a lot of changes (retrogressive changes) in the person's mental and emotional states.

Masturbation is not his problem
Can a drunkard blame his problems on Heineken
He is his own problem
Take responsibility for your actions please

Adegbem01:
Thank God you mention VDM, Which of the OP's problem does VDM have. VDM claim might be true (I have a faint idea of the video you are talking about), infact op claims might be true (most likely not) but the important thing is we most time blame the easy excuse (devil made me do it kind) why most are confused base on cultural and societal beliefs.

Hope you know VDM still masturbate

He released that video at the end of last year or beginning of this year, I can't quite recall but it was a "new year message", encouraging people to quit masturbation.

He shared that he was struggling with some issues attached to it, a few of which are low confidence/self-esteem. That's one common issue most people who have narrated their experiences go through, including me.

If VDM could come out and talk about these things himself, then why should we doubt him?

chigoziri2403:
Masturbation is not his problem
Can a drunkard blame his problems on Heineken
He is his own problem
Take responsibility for your actions please

If a drunkard stops drinking and changes his life, he never goes back to drinking, not even once. Why's that?

DestinedForGrea:
If a drunkard stops drinking and changes his life, he never goes back to drinking, not even once. Why's that?

Because he took that decision by himself, did Heineken sue him to court for repentance or did the bar man force him to come to the joint

chigoziri2403:
Because he took that decision by himself, did Heineken sue him to court for repentance or did the bar man force him to come to the joint

Why did he feel that drinking Heineken in excess would be good for him in the first place?

DestinedForGrea:
If a drunkard stops drinking and changes his life, he never goes back to drinking, not even once. Why's that?

Yes he can go back, if he chooses to continue with that environment and cycle of friends he's used to

DestinedForGrea:
Why did he feel that drinking Heineken in excess would be good for him in the first place?

We have the power to choose between good and bad,we are free moral agents ,having the ability to choose between good and or bad
It was his choice to continue drinking, was he drinking under duress,take note ,Alcohol doesn't solve anything.

chigoziri2403:
Yes he can go back, if he chooses to continue with that environment and cycle of friends he's used to

After seeing the damage it did to him the first time and when he stopped, he saw how greatly his life changed for good?

While it's possible for him to go back, he would definitely feel irritated doing it again, which would make it very difficult.

chigoziri2403:
We have the power to choose between good and bad,we are free moral agents ,having the ability to choose between good and or bad
It was his choice to continue drinking, was he drinking under duress,take note ,Alcohol doesn't solve anything.

A person doesn't need to drink under duress for him to get drunk.

He could be enjoying the good feel that comes with drinking it. I don't know what causes that feel, but it stimulates him to want more. He takes one bottle, takes two or more, and unknowingly, he gets drunk.

The first time, that "drunk" feeling takes him away from reality and sort of puts him in a "happy place". The moment he's back to reality, he feels terrible but deep within him, he has discovered a way to make himself happy whenever he wants. This provides a sense of solace, and then it becomes an addiction.

That's the same problem with every other addiction. It seems good and enjoyable at first, then slowly it starts to present itself as a safe haven. With time, you realize you can't do without it to behave properly. That's when your brain chemistry changes, and then your behaviour follows suit.

I'm coming to the comments section to read the guilty one's comment.

May God deliver His chudren 🤲

DestinedForGrea:
A person doesn't need to drink under duress for him to get drunk.

He could be enjoying the good feel that comes with drinking it. I don't know what causes that feel, but it stimulates him to want more. He takes one bottle, takes two or more, and unknowingly, he gets drunk.

The first time, that "drunk" feeling takes him away from reality and sort of puts him in a "happy place". The moment he's back to reality, he feels terrible but deep within him, he has discovered a way to make himself happy whenever he wants. This provides a sense of solace, and then it becomes an addiction.

That's the same problem with every other addiction. It seems good and enjoyable at first, then slowly it starts to present itself as a safe haven. With time, you realize you can't do without it to behave properly. That's when your brain chemistry changes, and then your behaviour follows suit.

Who forced him to drink for the first time ,was he fed alcohol from his baby age ,he took that decision and should live with the consequences

DestinedForGrea:
After seeing the damage it did to him the first time and when he stopped, he saw how greatly his life changed for good?

While it's possible for him to go back, he would definitely feel irritated doing it again, which would make it very difficult.

Because he is flesh and the cravings of the flesh is strong

chigoziri2403:
Who forced him to drink for the first time ,was he fed alcohol from his baby age ,he took that decision and should live with the consequences

It's more about what the drinking did to him than whether he was forced or not. Why is there an age restriction for those drinks?

DestinedForGrea:
It's more about what the drinking did to him than whether he was forced or not. Why is there an age restriction for those drinks?

There is no age restriction, if a 16 year old takes alcohol will he die, it's a matter of choice

chigoziri2403:
Because he is flesh and the cravings of the flesh is strong

That's exactly why he would choose not to do it again after seeing the positive changes that come from not drinking for a long time.

chigoziri2403:
There is no age restriction, if a 16 year old takes alcohol will he die, it's a matter of choice

No, he won't but the chances of a 16 year old getting drunk are higher than that of someone who's responsible enough to a good extent to control himself.

DestinedForGrea:
That's exactly why he would choose not to do it again after seeing the positive changes that come from not drinking for a long time.

there are also benefits to it

chigoziri2403:
there are also benefits to it

Kindly name them please.

We are suffering the same thing, am currently in nursing and I probated due to excessive masturbation for 6 years, numbing and dulling my brain neurotransmitters and reducing my body nutrients, now I struggle to cram and memorize things , and even the motivation to study is not even there let alone trying to cram or understand my book, I used to be very intelligent and to cram and understand book was very easy when I was in secondary school but now in the university am a shadow of my self due to excessive soapy,I just pray God help me so I can finish nursing because my brain is so numb that I can read 3 lines 20 times and I won't still be able to recall when I want to revise

DestinedForGrea:
➜If you asked someone who's addicted to pornography and masturbation which they would choose first between that, and food, to give them pleasure, they would choose the former.
➜ That tells you that masturbation can stimulate a greater release of dopamine as well as other neurotransmitters like endorphins and oxytocin. This is precisely why you risk addiction doing it the first time.
➜ The dopamine that comes with climaxing is too high that it overwhelms basic functions of the brain at the moment.
➜ That's why a person who just climaxed feels sleepy immediately. Is that what you're comparing food with?

This is meaningless!

2. That is not what that tells you. You need to go back and learn how to critically examine issues, since you don't seem to see the break between your first statement and this one.

3. Wrong! Please start using your brain! Think! Think!! Think!!! Based on this claim you make here, everyone who has ever masturbated and climaxed should be addicted to masturbation. But we all know this is far from reality.

4. Again, wrong! These claims do not hold as far as the reality of things and how the brain works is concerned. Stop spitting nonsense and learn the science of how your brain and addiction work, please.

[I learnt a lot from this!. Please drop more quote author=donkach post=135841726]Yo, I know a lot of people say “masturbation isn’t the problem,” but honestly, I think it is—just that most folks don’t realize why. Pleasure from sex is there for a reason: to make sure we reproduce and continue the species. But after that pleasure comes serious responsibilities—pregnancy, parenting, lifelong commitment. So yeah, the pleasure’s real, but it’s supposed to be tied to purpose.

Now with masturbation, it’s like you’re getting the reward without doing anything meaningful. You’re not creating life, not bonding with someone—you’re just triggering pleasure in isolation. The body doesn’t really know the difference though, so it still dumps dopamine (that “feel-good” hormone) as if you achieved something major. Problem is… you didn’t.

Over time, that starts messing with your system. You keep getting rewarded without effort, and your brain gets lazy. Like, your motivation drops, energy crashes, and even when you want to grind or push yourself, there’s just no fuel. You end up tired during your most productive hours, and it’s not just random—it’s that dopamine overload clashing with other hormones like adrenaline.

And bro, semen isn’t just “waste.” It’s loaded with nutrients—zinc, selenium, stuff your brain and muscles actually need. So when you're constantly draining that through frequent masturbation without balancing it out nutritionally, you're slowly depleting resources your body depends on. Some people might not feel it right away because:

1. They’ve never tried going without it to see the difference.


2. They’re not self-aware enough to notice the change.


3. They eat well and replenish what they lose.


4. They balance it out with real sex, so it doesn’t build up into addiction.


5. They don’t show symptoms.


6. They live chill lives with little stress or pressure.


7. And some are just built different.



But honestly, most of the signs—low energy, procrastination, brain fog, lack of drive—line up with what a lot of regular masturbators experience. It's just not talked about enough, or people are too quick to dismiss it.

And yo, not to throw shade, but even doctors don’t always get it. A lot of them go by the book, and this stuff doesn’t always show up in studies—especially when it’s more about long-term effects or how your drive changes over time.

Anyway, there’s so much more I could say on this. Maybe one day I’ll write a book about it lol.[/quote]

JagaLove:
My name is XYZ I graduated from secondary school at 15 in year 2010. That was the same year I first masturbated; I was in my room one day and all of a sudden I started stroking my genitals; after a little while I felt the release of semen. The feeling was enjoyable and soothing or so I thought not knowing the Devil had crept into my life. I curse the day I got to do this first.

I was staying alone with my dad in a single room apartment and dad would always leave early for work and return late. Immediately dad leaves for work I start masturbating. Sometimes once in a day, sometimes twice, even thrice at most.

I got admission into the university and this didn't stop. It was easier for me since I stayed off campus. Sometimes I masturbate before going to class and feel dizzy when in class through out my stay in the university I was masturbating. I started developing negative consequences like anxiety, guilt, tiredness and weakness, I thought some of these things were normal or so inability to associate with people especially ladies. I could just see a girl then and I want to have sex with her and sunce i can't I'd wait till my spare time and do the deed. I would think people were seeing through me that I masturbate. I had this false confidence like I was the man.

I moved in to the school hostel in my third year and that didn't stop. I masturbated in my hostel room and even in the open field in school. Just trying to skip a lot of details. There's no place of family or friend I've visited where I did not masturbate. Even during my NYSC in year 2022 I masturbated all through the scheme.

I try to stop and can go off for I week or three days and i'd be back to it. I masturbate with my productive time and It has been 15 years now since I started masturbating I don't have good social skills, my relationship with people is faint, i don't have a job and its even a scandal now. People around me say it because I don't have a girlfriend I don't have friends and I don't talk to anybody. Not having a girlfriend is not my problem Worst of it all is I missed my purpose. I can't say it to anybody cause I'm ashamed of it so I came here to pour my heart and advice anyone who is tempted. I t ruins life. I'm supposed to be a role model but I'm the opposite. I used to have high hopes but now my intelligence level has dwindled.

Masturbation is a demon and an evil spirit. I just pray God helps and heal me and restore me. Praise God.

honestly, the best time for him to circumvent the depraving act of masturbation, is at this time that he's alone, and not when he starts dating or gets married.

Him substituting masturbation with other activities, would only momentarily distract him from the act.
He would return to the act eventually, especially when the trigger factors surfaces again.
Besides, not all trigger factors can really be avoided. A time would come when he would find himself alone even if married or living with roommates.
Also, inasmuch as the OP has access to the internet, he can't completely avoid pornography. If he won't look for pornography, the internet would bring pornography to him. It's a fact!

Do something once, then it becomes an habit. The brain would register the act immediately, and continues to replicate the act indefinitely, until such individual makes a conscious effort, gets deliberately volitional, and put the act to it's end.

With masturbation, comes the accompanying fact that, the brain has registered the act since it's day of inception, and incorporated it into the body's natural cycle, indefinitely, birthing a urge.
This is the reason the OP has been unable to rid himself of masturbation since the brain has registered the act as natural, and no solid, persistent effort has been made, to end the spontaneity attached to the artificially-induced act.

Until the OP himself gets imbued with vehement resolve and become very persistently intentional in completely breaking the artificially-induced natural masturbating cycle, he would be perpetually plagued with the ignominious act.

Avoiding the trigger-factors alone won't put the masturbating act to a stop since the act has been established psychologically already.

The combined pragmatic actions of deep reflection, identification of, and withdrawal from the propelling-factors and root cause of the act, together with the simultaneous action of constantly working on breaking the natural hold masturbation has on the body, would rid the OP of the morally-depraving act.

Masturbation can only be circumvented totally by combined actions, and not by a sole, single action of avoiding the trigger-factors.

Even the combined actions must be practical, intentional and proactive.

The OP should do whatever it takes, to utterly rid himself of masturbation.
An individual would be condemned to perpetual limitation, due to habitual masturbation.
You can't be masturbating constantly, and aim to be productive.
And with productivity out of the picture, it would be difficult or outrightly impossible to fufil purpose in life.

DestinedForGrea:
➜As far as I know, I've not seen anyone who became addicted to masturbation as a result of issues they were going through.
➜Rather, those issues came when they started masturbating. Do you think anyone who has successfully quit masturbation and gotten his life back would want to try to masturbate again at any point in his life?
➜ Not even once in a month, or a year would he want to try that shit. That's because he knows how it almost ruined his life.

1. The fact is that most people who are mentally ill are in denial of it. Talkless of a mentally ill individual who uses masturbation as an escape. There are, of course, various reasons why a person would become addicted to masturbation, but as you said yourself, not everyone who masturbates gets addicted. It is only those with extenuating circumstances who do.

If you are not aware yet, over 90% of men and over 70% of women in sane climes masturbate. However, not close to half of those get addicted. And of those who have at some point or another gotten addicted, over half of that number eventually overcome the addiction and move on to other things, or even other addictions. You need to stop wallowing in your private delusions and do some real research to understand fact from brain farts.

3. Stop lying! What you are implying is that when a person, for example, finally recovers from a food addiction problem, the person would never think to eat food again. Or that once an individual addicted to painkillers finally overcomes the addiction, that person would never again take painkillers in their life. Does that make sense to you?

Again, dump the brain farts and adopt researched/scientific facts instead!

stormborn28:
Everything is wrong with masturbation. I know a young girl that masturbate. She does it right in my presence but codedly. I take her lesson. It's affecting her academically. I have observed she is strongly addicted to it

Maybe it's a medical problem?
You said you're teaching her lesson?
You can be implicated if you don't talk.
Talk to her in front of her parents.
If you still have power, remain doing the lessons.
Otherwise, flee from the girl if you yourself are not a psychiatrist or you can also fall.

stephnie44:
Exactly was married previously I noticed my ex hubby was masturbating wen I called d elder sis attention to it d reason d idiot gave was dat he doesn't want to cheat dats why he mastibates I just weak.....I have left him to continue his mastibation in peace

Its like any other addiction like alcohol, smoking, betting etc

We have married people doing these things...I hope that's not the reason why you left him

Kobojunkie:
1. The fact is that most people who are mentally ill are in denial of it. Talkless of a mentally ill individual who uses masturbation as an escape. There are, of course, various reasons why a person would become addicted to masturbation, but as you said yourself, not everyone who masturbates gets addicted. It is only those with extenuating circumstances who do.

If you are not aware yet, over 90% of men and over 70% of women in sane climes masturbate. However, not close to half of those get addicted. And of those who have at some point or another gotten addicted, over half of that number eventually overcome the addiction and move on to other things, or even other addictions. You need to stop wallowing in your private delusions and do some real research to understand fact from brain farts.

3. Stop lying! What you are implying is that when a person, for example, finally recovers from a food addiction problem, the person would never think to eat food again. Or that once an individual addicted to painkillers finally overcomes the addiction, that person would never again take painkillers in their life. Does that make sense to you?

Again, dump the brain farts and adopt researched/scientific facts instead!

Kobojunkie, you may not realize it, but you really are a terrible person to say the least.

You see how millions of people (especially men) have come out to speak about how this debilitating act of masturbation has ruined or almost ruined their lives, and you're here aggressively trying to advocate for the same act, because you want to display scientific knowledge or just win an argument.

A lot of people can't even come out and speak out about what this thing has done to them because of people like you. Not everyone is addicted to masturbation, yes and that's because those who're not addicted already had other things to do in their lives to keep them away from it.

Imagine someone who has a wife or a sex partner who they get sex from almost all the time they want. They'd barely masturbate because they have someone satisfying the desire for pleasure. Also, people have various levels of restraint and that depends on a lot of factors as well.

Masturbation is not as healthy as you people make it seem. It presents itself as an escape route from compulsive urge for sex but the depth about it is that it indirectly increases the urge for sex. That's why people who masturbate can use their imagination and at that point, you can imagine the most disgusting event just to make sure that you hit that climax.

I know you believe in God, but right now you're acting like an atheist who knows there's a God but tries to look for evidence to disprove His existence, just to buttress his "atheist" status.

You're misleading people. Instead of encouraging them to have self control, you're urging then to masturbate whenever they feel like. The truth is, they'll always "feel like", the more they give in to it, Dummy!

Get something into your head and your will forget masturbation, go and learn any IT course of your interest. Be active and do something you really like that will make you forget about it. Look for work or learn something to engage you.

I believe you.

DestinedForGrea:
, you may not realize it, but you really are a terrible person to say the least.
You see how millions of people (especially men) have come out to speak about how this debilitating act of masturbation has ruined or almost ruined their lives, and you're here aggressively trying to advocate for the same act, because you want to display scientific knowledge or just win an argument.
A lot of people can't even come out and speak out about what this thing has done to them because of people like you. Not everyone is addicted to masturbation, yes and that's because those who're not addicted already had other things to do in their lives to keep them away from it.
Imagine someone who has a wife or a sex partner who they get sex from almost all the time they want. They'd barely masturbate because they have someone satisfying the desire for pleasure. Also, people have various levels of restraint and that depends on a lot of factors as well.
Masturbation is not as healthy as you people make it seem. It presents itself as an escape route from compulsive urge for sex but the depth about it is that it indirectly increases the urge for sex. That's why people who masturbate can use their imagination and at that point, you can imagine the most disgusting event just to make sure that you hit that climax.
I know you believe in God, but right now you're acting like an atheist who knows there's a God but tries to look for evidence to disprove His existence, just to buttress his "atheist" status.
You're misleading people. Instead of encouraging them to have self control, you're urging then to masturbate whenever they feel like. The truth is, they'll always "feel like", the more they give in to it, Dummy!

Instead of trying to impress me with apparent eediocy, seek knowledge for your own minds sake. Learn to differentiate facts from the noxious brain farts you keep emitting there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1FCYDsUpSI?si=XN4tre_bRd4fHtgq

Are you ready to stop masturbating?

JagaLove:
My name is XYZ I graduated from secondary school at 15 in year 2010. That was the same year I first masturbated; I was in my room one day and all of a sudden I started stroking my genitals; after a little while I felt the release of semen. The feeling was enjoyable and soothing or so I thought not knowing the Devil had crept into my life. I curse the day I got to do this first.

I was staying alone with my dad in a single room apartment and dad would always leave early for work and return late. Immediately dad leaves for work I start masturbating. Sometimes once in a day, sometimes twice, even thrice at most.

I got admission into the university and this didn't stop. It was easier for me since I stayed off campus. Sometimes I masturbate before going to class and feel dizzy when in class through out my stay in the university I was masturbating. I started developing negative consequences like anxiety, guilt, tiredness and weakness, I thought some of these things were normal or so inability to associate with people especially ladies. I could just see a girl then and I want to have sex with her and sunce i can't I'd wait till my spare time and do the deed. I would think people were seeing through me that I masturbate. I had this false confidence like I was the man.

I moved in to the school hostel in my third year and that didn't stop. I masturbated in my hostel room and even in the open field in school. Just trying to skip a lot of details. There's no place of family or friend I've visited where I did not masturbate. Even during my NYSC in year 2022 I masturbated all through the scheme.

I try to stop and can go off for I week or three days and i'd be back to it. I masturbate with my productive time and It has been 15 years now since I started masturbating I don't have good social skills, my relationship with people is faint, i don't have a job and its even a scandal now. People around me say it because I don't have a girlfriend I don't have friends and I don't talk to anybody. Not having a girlfriend is not my problem Worst of it all is I missed my purpose. I can't say it to anybody cause I'm ashamed of it so I came here to pour my heart and advice anyone who is tempted. I t ruins life. I'm supposed to be a role model but I'm the opposite. I used to have high hopes but now my intelligence level has dwindled.

Masturbation is a demon and an evil spirit. I just pray God helps and heal me and restore me. Praise God.

Adegbem01:
Thank God you mention VDM, Which of the OP's problem does VDM have. VDM claim might be true (I have a faint idea of the video you are talking about), infact op claims might be true (most likely not) but the important thing is we most time blame the easy excuse (devil made me do it kind) why most are confused base on cultural and societal beliefs.

Hope you know VDM still masturbate

how do you know?


It will be nice watching him do that tho