₦airaland Forum

Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing her at all as I do most of the house chores and foot 100% of the billings. The only thing I sometimes refused to do is send money to her parents due to heavy demands from her.

So, on Friday after heavy persuasion lasting into hours, she yielded in and we had sex. On Saturday, I received German police at my door asking about my wife. I called her out and before I knew what was happening, they started asking her if she’s safe which she told them she’s not. They took her to a makeshift apartment pending when they finish investigation on me. I have received a case file which I must respond to and present myself this morning (Monday).

I’ve never treated my wife badly even when it’s obvious I lost control of the home . She’s the one always insulting, always speaking to her male colleagues at late hours, not joining her to do anything at home.

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

Only God knows how some men end up with these kinds of women. But honestly, why wait until things have completely fallen apart before you start thinking of an exit strategy? Marriage is not a life sentence, and it is not by force. Nigeria did not send you to exile so if it comes to this, you can return home and rebuild your life with dignity instead of waiting till one woman put you into trouble and get deported

When a woman no longer loves you, it shows. Depriving you of Intimacy is one of the oblivious signs and no matter how much you try to manage or salvage the situation, it’s neither wise nor safe to remain where you're not valued. Love isn’t something you can force; it’s like a reflex, natural, effortless, and undeniable. And when it fades, as painful as it is, you can’t really blame anyone. The heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, that means letting go.

So my brother I pray that God continues to direct your steps

Bestman241:
Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing .

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

If this is true, I really feel your pain, my advice is that you try your best to make peace with her, report the the real issue to a third party, like therapists or even necessary government bodies, although it's obvious your wife's goal is separation. If you can switch towards going into monk mode may be it will be helpful. A lot of lady get poisoned by the cultural patterns in Europe that exposes the true possibilities they have in them

Good for you, Jesus Christ said ask it shall be given.
You ask for sex she refuse, divorce her straight up no time for nonsense, but yet you'll still be begging for sex.

Why should we believe this story without hearing from the second party.

When it has gotten to this, there's nothing you can do. This woman cannot stay under same roof with you.
It seems you both do not have children yet.

Find a good lawyer that can plead your case, otherwise, you wouldn't only loose your wife but your freedom in jail.

I need not to tell you how serious and weighty this allegation is to you.
It can cost you everything you have earned and would earn in that Country.
Don't address this issue with kids gloves.

Things have fallen apart and the center cannot hold.

In this kind of marriage you should become the villain

It's better than being the victim

The villain enjoys while the victim is destroyed

I can only believe you when I read your wife's comment. People only blame others but themselves. When the wife says her own, alot would be shocked that they even believed the one the husband wrote. When you hear from both parties, you can easily know who is at fault.

If this story is true, no need for panic.
There are few things you need to do. But I can’t disclose them on public forum. You can send me a mail.

However, mistake you probably made is allowing her to contribute nothing into the marriage.

1. My first advice to you is to get a good lawyer quickly. This allegation can cause you your career, reputation and everything you had worked for.

2. Divorce. Yes. I hardly give a divorce advice to couples but your case is very familiar based on several cases I have seen in diaspora. Once it gets to this level you are with your wife, the marriage cannot be salvaged.

She appears cheating already, done with you and the union but you refused to let her go. Then she has progressed to false accusation through the laws. It's never going to get better from here. It will get worst.

LEAVE HER NOW. LET HER GO before it's too late for you. Count your loss and move on.

harsysky:
I can only believe you when I read your wife's comment. People only blame others but themselves. When the wife says her own, alot would be shocked that they even believed the one the husband wrote. When you hear from both parties, you can easily know who is at fault.

And you expect the wife to say what really happened? She will paint it in a way to make you feel sorry for her,and you will definitely do that, because that's what the society encourages. Married folks knows what this man is talking about.. some people thinks getting married is free ticket to sex. Sex when u go dey beg like small pikin.. and when u go out to get your urge satisfied,she will still call you a womanizer. Meanwhile she will be flirting with colleagues and exes .

This one wey you come rush complain first, I hope say you dey talk the truth. You must have seen the signs earlier and ignored completely, so my broda wear the shoe well.

Eeya all I can say is sorry. It's her words against yours.

drehdinho:
If this story is true, no need for panic.
There are few things you need to do. But I can’t disclose them on public forum. You can send me a mail.
[b]
However, mistake you probably made is allowing her to contribute nothing into the marriag[/b]e.

When will naive men know that women stay where they sacrifice and leave where they don't sacrifice anything? I have seen men make this mistake often. My money is my money and your money is your money crew women, never date such women nor marry them once they see they have milked you a lot they usually move to the next victim.

People don't usually appreciate what they don't sacrifice for

Bestman241:
Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing her at all as I do most of the house chores and foot 100% of the billings. The only thing I sometimes refused to do is send money to her parents due to heavy demands from her.

So, on Friday after heavy persuasion lasting into hours, she yielded in and we had sex. On Saturday, I received German police at my door asking about my wife. I called her out and before I knew what was happening, they started asking her if she’s safe which she told them she’s not. They took her to a makeshift apartment pending when they finish investigation on me. I have received a case file which I must respond to and present myself this morning (Monday).

I’ve never treated my wife badly even when it’s obvious I lost control of the home . She’s the one always insulting, always speaking to her male colleagues at late hours, not joining her to do anything at home.

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

You know what to do. Your wife is divorcing you. So you too, divorce her. Sorry for your loss.

Honestly I don't like believing a one sided story. Nevertheless, I think you should work out ways on divorcing your wife. Have you given birth? If yes, you e got no choice but to stay with her. If no, then bring her back to Nigeria indirectly, to empty her account through proxy, then Japa back to your base in Europe

ayoncox:
If this is true, I really feel your pain, my advice is that you try your best to make peace with her, report the the real issue to a third party, like therapists or even necessary government bodies, although it's obvious your wife's goal is separation. If you can switch towards going into monk mode may be it will be helpful. A lot of lady get poisoned by the cultural patterns in Europe that exposes the true possibilities they have in them

Make peace ke? It's like your head traveled with Tinubu

Rexymania:
Honestly I don't like believing a one sided story. Nevertheless, I think you should work out ways on divorcing your wife. Have you given birth? If yes, you e got no choice but to stay with her. If no, then bring her back to Nigeria indirectly, to empty her account through proxy, then Japa back to your base in Europe

You yourself know that this cannot work na. That's why she called the police first

Dtruthspeaker:
You yourself know that this cannot work na. That's why she called the police first

It can...it can take 5 years o, but I will achieve it. Tt

Another one again, their ashawo haff taking over

Deny the allegation. It is her word against yours. As far as you know, it was mutual and she probably set you up cos she is having an affair. No bruises and marks on her body

Did you raped her or not!


Why you carry her go Germany...


Is there any bruise or wound on her? Yes or No

If no, deny it.... Tell her she gave it to u as her duty without no force....



Op. Send me a msg

Another one don burst

Nairaland bot no go let person comment in peace

......this is deep 🤔. Why is that women always change their behaviors when they get to oyinbo land?

.

Softly Softly biko.

It appears a fellow 9jA man is serving her engine.
I have travelled to dat side from Aussie.That place isn't like the West sha.Just tell yo family back in 9ja to dey pray for u.Once u are free from this present Akoba/Adaba

Free yourselves. Let her go biko 🙄 😒 .

You do most of the house chores and still foot 100% of the billings in Germany?

illicit:
In this kind of marriage you should become the villain

It's better than being the victim

The villain enjoys while the victim is destroyed

If he takes your advise he will find himself back in Nigeria with the next available flight

that's woman for you. Yet there is another man she could be giving it to unhindered and still deny the husband of his right

Understanding woman is like a rocket science

New account with a likely fake story. Dey deceive yaself

Jesus Christ….
Is this real?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm🥲