₦airaland Forum

ledaman:
➜Is it now a crime for Nigerians guys to move with their spouses to Europe?
Because each time I read online what the men are going through is pathetic and disgusting to read.

That a marriage can survive in Nigeria does not mean it can survive elsewhere is what this is simply telling you. All the things Nigerian men are able to get away with in Nigeria, they are not readily able to get away with elsewhere, meaning the Nigerian marriage in Nigeria is held together by circumstances and not necessarily a strong backbone.

OP claimed that after heavy persuasion, he was able to get his wife to give him sex, but he conveniently refused to explain what he meant by heavy persuasion. Something tells me it was not romantic pre-intimacy or anything along those lines.

Bestman241:
Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing her at all as I do most of the house chores and foot 100% of the billings. The only thing I sometimes refused to do is send money to her parents due to heavy demands from her.

So, on Friday after heavy persuasion lasting into hours, she yielded in and we had sex. On Saturday, I received German police at my door asking about my wife. I called her out and before I knew what was happening, they started asking her if she’s safe which she told them she’s not. They took her to a makeshift apartment pending when they finish investigation on me. I have received a case file which I must respond to and present myself this morning (Monday).

I’ve never treated my wife badly even when it’s obvious I lost control of the home . She’s the one always insulting, always speaking to her male colleagues at late hours, not joining her to do anything at home.

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

Best news of the week

Kobojunkie:
That a marriage can survive in Nigeria does not mean it can survive elsewhere is what this is simply telling you. All the things Nigerian men are able to get away with in Nigeria, they are not readily able to get away with elsewhere, meaning the Nigerian marriage in Nigeria is held together by circumstances and not necessarily a strong backbone.

OP claimed that after heavy persuasion, he was able to get his wife to give him sex, but he conveniently refused to explain what he meant by heavy persuasion. Something tells me it was not romantic pre-intimacy or anything along those lines.

How can a man beg his spouse for his conjugal right?
Instead of two adults two enjoy each other.
One of them tends to exploit the other.
Is it right?
From most of the stories I read often, men are the endangered species in Abroad.

Baronthecelebri:
Good for you, Jesus Christ said ask it shall be given.
You ask for sex she refuse, divorce her straight up no time for nonsense, but yet you'll still be begging for sex.

This guy must be a SIMP. may god help him


From time immemorial; marriage is free entry and free exit. Just a simple action you re free

Hmm Germo don't tolerate black people oooh & their laws are very rigid do you better fine your way to Italy or malta.

ledaman:
➜How can a man beg his spouse for his conjugal right? Instead of two adults two enjoy each other.
One of them tends to exploit the other. Is it right?
➜ From most of the stories I read often, men are the endangered species in Abroad.

1. Conjugal rights has to be obtained via agreement not by force, otherwise it is rape.

2. Men aren't an endangered species abroad. There are so very many sensible men and women out here, that is why the society works better than what you have in your Nigeria there.

Love800:
If you travel and stay in another location or city, you may lose your kids to her, even if you do visit dem.
Abi will you get another woman and marry in that new location?

Were I come from bro, na children dey find papa noble because of surname

Most women usually don't appreciate their spouse's efforts till the relationship or marriage ends, then you'll see them going after other people's husbands, disturbing both single and married guys for things their ex husband or spouse covered when they were still together.
@OP Sorry about your situation.. I think you should state your issue to the German police and let them know your so called wife hasn't had sex with you for over a year until recently (which she is now claiming as rape).

Come to think of it, are you sure the wife isn't having affair with other guys outside, including some of her male work colleagues?.. the easiest way to know if a woman is cheating is her loss of interest in sex with her spouse.

Kobojunkie:
1. Conjugal rights has to be obtained via agreement not by force, otherwise it is rape.

2. Men aren't an endangered species abroad. There are so very many sensible men and women out here, that is why the society works better than what you have in your Nigeria there.

How many men in abroad have lost their hard earned money to their wives.
You called that saner climes?
Instead of the jury to work out how it would be a win win situation for both parties involved.
They would rather send the husband out of his house 🏠 is that right?

flokii:
Most women usually don't appreciate their spouse's efforts till the relationship or marriage ends, then you'll see them going after other people's husbands, disturbing both single and married guys for things their ex husband or spouse covered when they were still together.
@OP Sorry about your situation.. I think you should state your issue to the German police and let them know your so called wife hasn't had sex with you for over a year until recently (which she is now claiming as rape).

Come to think of it, are you sure the wife isn't having affair with other guys outside, including some of her male work colleagues?.. the easiest way to know if a woman is cheating is her loss of interest in sex with her spouse.

Imagine what the dude wrote, his wife calls her male colleagues odd hrs of the night.
His wife has turned to public property

ledaman:
➜How many men in abroad have lost their hard earned money to their wives.
➜ You called that saner climes? Instead of the jury to work out how it would be a win win situation for both parties involved. They would rather send the husband out of his house 🏠 is that right?

Well, most of them are merely Nigerian men who think they can play Nigerian games abroad. Even a child would tell you that it does not make sense to reason that way.

2. No jury does any of what you claim. Are you high or something?

I can't and won't beg a woman for s*x. Not to talk of begging a woman for a year. Na she go beg me at last. I will first abandon her. All the money for upkeep, I will withdraw it. I won't stay at home again. Maybe once in 5 months. Na she go beg me. The man doesn't have good job with good pay ni, me wey dey run for women na one woman go dey make yanga for, it may be in the next world o, but for this one, she dare not.

Kobojunkie:
Well, most of them are merely Nigerian men who think they can play Nigerian games abroad. Even a child would tell you that it does not make sense to reason that way.

2. No jury does any of what you claim. Are you high or something?

Must you insult to buttress your point?
Mtcheew

ledaman:
➜Must you insult to buttress your point? Mtcheew

Insult ke? Is this reaction of yours instead because my questions hit a nerve?

GboyegaD:
Did you ever record her insulting you? Even if you did not, at this time, I am not sure if counselling will help. Your wife has shown you she is no longer interested in the marriage and I would personally advise you take a stance on if you want to be married to yourself or you want to be single. Do not listen to any noise as her height of selfishness is unbearable.

Bro. Men eye dey see where we dey but make we keep shut

GboyegaD:
Did you ever record her insulting you? Even if you did not, at this time, I am not sure if counselling will help. Your wife has shown you she is no longer interested in the marriage and I would personally advise you take a stance on if you want to be married to yourself or you want to be single. Do not listen to any noise as her height of selfishness is unbearable.

God help men

GboyegaD:
Did you ever record her insulting you? Even if you did not, at this time, I am not sure if counselling will help. Your wife has shown you she is no longer interested in the marriage and I would personally advise you take a stance on if you want to be married to yourself or you want to be single. Do not listen to any noise as her height of selfishness is unbearable.

Bro. I’m actually in similar situation here in America (tho my wife has never called police on me b4).. however I’d have leave and run but the fear of wasted investment (got her conditional green card through me, paid her tuition and I’ve invested in this marriage to a point where it became crippling).. also, the fear of paying alimony and CS till like forever is also crippling but I’m not happy (still I’m tie to her and it’s like I’m slaving for her and her family). Bro I’m not happy and I’ve become a shadow of my former self. No one to talk these things with. I just pray I scale through these murky waters. People I talked to ask me to leave her while I’m still alive and forget about fear of wasted investment. I’m tired tbh

labalaba321:
Bro. I’m actually in similar situation here in America (tho my wife has never called police on me b4).. however I’d have leave and run but the fear of wasted investment (got her conditional green card through me, paid her tuition and I’ve invested in this marriage to a point where it became crippling).. also, the fear of paying alimony and CS till like forever is also crippling but I’m not happy (still I’m tie to her and it’s like I’m slaving for her and her family). Bro I’m not happy and I’ve become a shadow of my former self. No one to talk these things with. I just pray I scale through these murky waters. People I talked to ask me to leave her while I’m still alive and forget about fear of wasted investment. I’m tired tbh

How is it wasted investment if she has kids for you?

Why will you pay alimony?

If you paid for her tuition then she should use it to get a job.

Sort out your finances and leave that clown.

Bestman241:
Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing her at all as I do most of the house chores and foot 100% of the billings. The only thing I sometimes refused to do is send money to her parents due to heavy demands from her.

So, on Friday after heavy persuasion lasting into hours, she yielded in and we had sex. On Saturday, I received German police at my door asking about my wife. I called her out and before I knew what was happening, they started asking her if she’s safe which she told them she’s not. They took her to a makeshift apartment pending when they finish investigation on me. I have received a case file which I must respond to and present myself this morning (Monday).

I’ve never treated my wife badly even when it’s obvious I lost control of the home . She’s the one always insulting, always speaking to her male colleagues at late hours, not joining her to do anything at home.

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

Marry a second wife..her libido might probably be low

labalaba321:
➜Bro. I’m actually in similar situation here in America (tho my wife has never called police on me b4).. however I’d have leave and run but the fear of wasted investment (got her conditional green card through me, paid her tuition and I’ve invested in this marriage to a point where it became crippling)..
➜ also, the fear of paying alimony and CS till like forever is also crippling but I’m not happy (still I’m tie to her and it’s like I’m slaving for her and her family). Bro I’m not happy and I’ve become a shadow of my former self. No one to talk these things with. I just pray I scale through these murky waters. People I talked to ask me to leave her while I’m still alive and forget about fear of wasted investment. I’m tired tbh

. Assuming lack of sexual intimacy is the problem in your particular relationship, have you considered professional marriage counseling and maybe sex therapy since the problem started?

Fear of paying alimony? Seems to me like you checked out of the marriage yourself, but are set on blaming the woman alone for it all. How come?

Any day my husband tries this ,I'm calling the cops on him.

Is sex food?
I'm done with childbirth,I can do without sex for the rest of my life

Not men

Everytime,they want to have sex.

labalaba321:
Bro. I’m actually in similar situation here in America (tho my wife has never called police on me b4).. however I’d have leave and run but the fear of wasted investment (got her conditional green card through me, paid her tuition and I’ve invested in this marriage to a point where it became crippling).. also, the fear of paying alimony and CS till like forever is also crippling but I’m not happy (still I’m tie to her and it’s like I’m slaving for her and her family). Bro I’m not happy and I’ve become a shadow of my former self. No one to talk these things with. I just pray I scale through these murky waters. People I talked to ask me to leave her while I’m still alive and forget about fear of wasted investment. I’m tired tbh

I sent you a PM.

anamo:
God help men

Amen! How is studies coming along?

GboyegaD:
Amen! How is studies coming along?

PhD is moving. EB2-NIW or EB1-A on my mind lol.

anamo:
PhD is moving. EB2-NIW or EB1-A on my mind lol.

Either is cool. EB1-A is better though.

Bestman241:
Last week Friday I started begging my wife for us to have sex since it’s been over a year we had it. Anytime I requested for sex, it’s always one excuse on top another about how she’s lost drive for sex completely. Mind you, I’m not inconveniencing her at all as I do most of the house chores and foot 100% of the billings. The only thing I sometimes refused to do is send money to her parents due to heavy demands from her.

So, on Friday after heavy persuasion lasting into hours, she yielded in and we had sex. On Saturday, I received German police at my door asking about my wife. I called her out and before I knew what was happening, they started asking her if she’s safe which she told them she’s not. They took her to a makeshift apartment pending when they finish investigation on me. I have received a case file which I must respond to and present myself this morning (Monday).

I’ve never treated my wife badly even when it’s obvious I lost control of the home . She’s the one always insulting, always speaking to her male colleagues at late hours, not joining her to do anything at home.

Tired. I don’t know what to do from here

Sorry about the whole issue

I think she is getta better attention somewhere and because of that, she msy no longer be interested in you and the society where she lives protects women

Do you have kids, if yes then start adjusting to suit her style and find a way to penetrate her to find out the problem, but don't be surprise the problem has been there for long

If you don't have children yet, both of you have to work towards how to get more united

If she is the one that brought you there, there us nothing you can do

If you are the one that brought here there, she has joined those that wants to be a naughty person

In all seat down with her to solve the problem that has lingered to this point

Her next plan maybe for your deportation if you are not careful her

GboyegaD:
Either is cool. EB1-A is better though.

Yeah it’s current.

Please can you back it with chapter of any world constitution? Two adults sleeping in the same room, same bed, husband and wife. The wife now claim the husband rape her. Is not done that is not domestic violence. I have proof this case in Nigeria before and won at high court but since you mentioned west
For knowledge sake can you proof it please with evidence

MIKOLOWISKA:
yup in the west All do. We just don't enforce The law does not care how far you are concerned? better may with sense of you want to travel to obodo

koladata:
Only God knows how some men end up with these kinds of women. But honestly, why wait until things have completely fallen apart before you start thinking of an exit strategy? Marriage is not a life sentence, and it is not by force. Nigeria did not send you to exile so if it comes to this, you can return home and rebuild your life with dignity instead of waiting till one woman put you into trouble and get deported

When a woman no longer loves you, it shows. Depriving you of Intimacy is one of the oblivious signs and no matter how much you try to manage or salvage the situation, it’s neither wise nor safe to remain where you're not valued. Love isn’t something you can force; it’s like a reflex, natural, effortless, and undeniable. And when it fades, as painful as it is, you can’t really blame anyone. The heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, that means letting go.

So my brother I pray that God continues to direct your steps

These kind of women pretend and lie at early stages of the relationship and change afterwards. I will never beg for sex.

labalaba321:
Bro. I’m actually in similar situation here in America (tho my wife has never called police on me b4).. however I’d have leave and run but the fear of wasted investment (got her conditional green card through me, paid her tuition and I’ve invested in this marriage to a point where it became crippling).. also, the fear of paying alimony and CS till like forever is also crippling but I’m not happy (still I’m tie to her and it’s like I’m slaving for her and her family). Bro I’m not happy and I’ve become a shadow of my former self. No one to talk these things with. I just pray I scale through these murky waters. People I talked to ask me to leave her while I’m still alive and forget about fear of wasted investment. I’m tired tbh

Send me a PM.

Alright.

Thanks so much.

ezegenigbonine:
Were I come from bro, na children dey find papa noble because of surname

Yeah 😊

Kobojunkie:
I hope you have no plans to go abroad at all with this nonsense you dey ask?