₦airaland Forum

Our society can be very critical. People are often judged not by who they are but by how well they fit into what society expects. If you are quiet, introverted, or simply minding your business, you are likely to be called proud, jobless, or even strange. There is a lot of pressure to behave a certain way just to avoid being talked about.

Take VeryDarkMan for example. When he became popular during the Mohbad issue, many influencers attacked him. Not because of what he was saying but because of how he looked, his financial status, and the fact that he did not try to impress anyone. But he stood firm. Today, he is one of the most influential young Nigerians simply because he refused to be shaped by public opinion.

Here’s the list, you can add your own too:

Leaving the house and walking around aimlessly just to avoid being seen as jobless:
You know you are not lazy o. You know you are just taking your time to rest or figure things out. But because you do not want people to say you are doing nothing with your life, you go comot for house begin move around Lagos like Igbono without any real purpose.


Forcing yourself to associate with people who do not add value to your life:
You stay close to people who gossip, insult you, or do not respect you just so they will not say you are proud or antisocial. You would rather tolerate nonsense than be misunderstood.


Borrowing money to buy things you cannot afford just to impress others:
You take loans to buy a car, rent an expensive apartment, or wear designer clothes not because you need them but because you want people to think you have made it. Meanwhile, you are under pressure financially.

Taking a longer route home just to avoid being seen by olofofo in your area:
Instead of passing your normal street, you go the long way just to avoid people who sit outside and turn everyone into a topic of discussion. You are avoiding unnecessary attention.


Over-respecting people who constantly disrespect you:
You greet someone who talks down to you, allow them to speak to you anyhow, and keep quiet all because you are hoping that one day they will realize who you really are and start respecting you. That day may come, but why go through all that?


Getting married just to avoid pressure from family and society when You are not ready:
You have not found the right person. But because everyone keeps asking when will you marry, you rush into a marriage just to avoid being the topic of discussion.

Why does this sound like worshipping people
1 gift I always had since I was a child was not giving a flying duck what people thought of me. I’ve had endless labels thrown at me but they can never stick because I don’t care.

I believe that I have a tribe scattered around my community and the world, and the only way to reach them is to remain authentic.

If I’m not for you then what are we even doing here! Abeg moooove, let better people see me 😁.

Op is exactly what he described and what is worrying him.

columbus007:
Op is exactly what he described and what is worrying him.

You must be one of those earrings wearing guys😂😂😂. Cant please everyone.

Nice write up... You're very right @op. It is time for people to face their lives and forget about what people will say.

Getting into debt for burial, marriage, and other functions. Last last na eku program ana go end am. You will be left to battle with your debts.

The worst thing a man can do to himself is to rush into marriage just to please society. Many men have destroyed their lives because of this.

They're just making things worse for themselves. If you're feeling pressured by what the society will say or saying, then you really need to grow up.

Honestly I'm guilty of about 3 of the points @op wrote. I think it's time to stop giving a damn

OP i can perfectly relate with all the aforementioned except No.5. How??

You go disrespect me keh, Unto say wetin happen? I don't give people face like that, I'm very very cautious and stingy with my Time and Attention. So there is no way you will see me finish because na see finish dey bring disrespect.

Morso, Inspite of my good and cool looking face which i know most Nigerians usually translate as weakness, but they have no idea how heavily built my MIND is lol. I usually make up with it sometimes by wearing a stern face. So my stern face is a message to them already which they always grab.

So to round it up, Once a upon a time in my early 30's, I use to care about everything you posted but not anymore. My MIND and HEART are stronger than mountain everest now. My composure won't even allow any stone age people to ask me stupid questions.

If you are the WEAK type and want to be UNCONVENTIONAL, You can't reside among Nigerians generally.

Na person wey get time, na him know say person pass…who no get time, no even remember weda him see any body as him Dey pass.

Why must you care about people ?

If my care will fetch me an hourly wage, I will give it my all, if not…. Why man go Dey won impress ?

Family pressure no be small thing. Many are currently living a frustrating life as a result of giving in to family pressure.

Unwillingly to church you don't believe in on sunday because of people's judgement.

If you don't leave your house, police will visit you because someone will tell them you are doing yahoo.

Another thing people do because of what people will say is supporting one presidential candidate who has demonstrated the incapacity, incompetence and uncharacteristic qualities to manage crisis in a small party but wants to rescue Nigeria.

I was almost forced to be packing my car far away from my house every morning cos I dey think people feel I no dey go anywhere.

When I changed my car, I overheard one stupid guy saying police go burst me one day.

Just try every means to live far away from poor people. They don't use to mind their business.

I actually have been someone who doesn't give a damn right from my teenage years. Me wey go greet you and don't even wait or listen for your response.. When outside cold and my landlord increase rent pass 1m, I carry my two legs go my papa house as per na only my mama dey stay there as how I go dey pay over 1 million as rent when my family get house with compound for the same Lagos.... I accumulate funds use build structure inside the compound and renovate it because I plan say my family will be together .. I no even know whether Dem dey talk my matter for the area because " I look everyone, Nigeria economy is dealing with all of us".. so everyone gets him problem for body.. you talk my matter finish, you go enter your house go drink garri..

Though I am actually not too broke. But that pressure?? Mba.. I don't have it.. Na my peace of mind be the main thing.. Who I wan impress?? The goal is to make mama proud..

The way our stupid people get into debt for stupid reasons is appalling. It should be declared a national emergency.

Doing a job(s) you aren't born to do because of family/societal pressures.

That's why suicide rate is high on Monday mornings.

COOL10:
The worst thing a man can do to himself is to rush into marriage just to please society. Many men have destroyed their lives because of this.

Starting a family solely based on hope with nothing tangible at hand is the ultimate killer of dreams. It breeds damaged kids and it destroys souls. A few success stories here and there won't change that fact.

The person telling you that marriage will get you more serious should be arrested for national economic sabotage. He is only encouraging emotional trauma, population explosion and even high risk of mental instability. Get serious today and get married when the harvests start.

You can't please people. Human expectations/wants are unending. Know this and know peace

That last point about Marriage is the koko of them all...!

Why someone who thrives and enjoys being single will decide to bow to opinions and societal pressure to saddle himself or herself with matrimony makes no sense at all.

Las Las, your peers, family, and society won't be inside that marriage with you.



As for the other points above, young people of today no send again... Lol!

Well I don't make any sense of the number one. If you are truly jobless, then you have no business sitting at home all day. Get your ass up and go look for something good to do.

No 1 got me lmao Are people really doing that? Crazy!

You are earning less than minimum wage and you are spending N35,000 at a go on something that does not generate money. You are mad. Use your brain, invest or multiply that money first.

I feel many people are just insecure. What is your business with what someone else feels about you?
I once had a boss that we couldn't leave the office earlier than 7pm despite closing time being 6pm. Tried pushing but at last I had to join since those ahead would even prefer to leave my 9pm. Nevertheless, I never hid my feelings about many things and my boss would tell me he likes how I say my mind but would prefer I tell him in private. He tried getting close to get information about me, but i will never share.

oyeb15:
Am almost forced to be packing my car away from my house every morning cos I dey think people feel I no dey go anywhere.

When I changed my car, I overheard one stupid guy saying police go burst me one day.

Just try every means to live far away from poor people. They don't use to mind their business.

you are very correct sir . I remembered when I started working from home my neighbor go Dey talk rubbish say I be yahoo guy . He get to one extend I was so frustrated that I will grab my laptop bag and stuff go to my guy place to work . One day my guy just asked me why you Dey come my house come work then I explained what happened to him . Na so he advice me to try everything in me to make sure say I comot for that area . I just made up my mind get apartment inside one nice estate and ever since then I get peace of mind . I noticed rich people no send you oh . All the friends where I get inside the estate self most of them na remote workers . I thank God I take that advice if not na depression for kill me that year .

What of refusal to divorce a deadly spouse to avoid stigmatisation? Until the spouse is pronounced dead and people begin to drop RIP. May this not be our portion, amen

tunnyl:
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Is the woman in your picture a Nigerian who does the yẹyẹ things that you listed

For this great tinubulation Una still dey bother about what people will say? E be like say owu neva shape your destiny finish.✅

Double0h7:
Why does this sound like worshipping people
1 gift I always had since I was a child was not giving a flying duck what people thought of me. I’ve had endless labels thrown at me but they can never stick because I don’t care.

I believe that I have a tribe scattered around my community and the world, and the only way to reach them is to remain authentic.

If I’m not for you then what are we even doing here! Abeg moooove, let better people see me 😁.

That's the right mindset to have to survive in a society that wants you to conform. Remain firm in being yourself.

That last one abt marraige enh...na anoda tin on anoda level...after now d girl go dey sell her market outside then some of d werey ppl wey dey gv u advise say mk u marry...na dem dem go dey buy market from her....if u knw u knw