How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 - Family (3)

How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 (13261 Views)

1 2 3 Reply (Go Down)

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by nedekid: 12:09am On Jul 12, 2025

Na wah, people go through things.
As for me sha, I can confidently say I had the best father ever, lost him 2 years ago. Funny thing, this evening discussing with my sibling in obodo oyinbo, we both agreed in that heaven where he is, God should continue to bless him and give him a special place.

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by nedekid: 12:14am On Jul 12, 2025

Chukwudi4naija:
Don't have children with this mentality that 'nobody owes you anything in life'. Every parent owes his child absolutely the best of life before adulthood. Children didn't beg their existence. As such deserve all the nurturing that ensures the stability of their mental health.

Cant blame him, some do not know any better, they talk based on their life experience. You come from a different background so will see things from a different perspective.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by kesikeller(m): 2:33am On Jul 12, 2025

Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

I know you hate your dad for leaving you when you were little. That pain runs deep, and it’s okay to feel it. But holding on to that hate for too long can hurt you more than it hurts him. Even worse, without meaning to, that pain can pass down to your own children.

You may not treat them badly, but the anger and sadness inside you can show up in how you love, trust, or even speak to them. You didn’t choose what your dad did, but you can choose to stop the cycle.

Letting go of hate doesn’t mean forgetting or forgiving too quickly. It just means freeing yourself so you don’t carry the past into the future. You have the power to give your children the love you never got and that starts by healing your own heart.

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by CJStarz: 2:34am On Jul 12, 2025

Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

Haaaaaa, dis one serious o.
Ur papa no be at all but all the same, forgive them and don't treat your own children d way he treated u

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by kesikeller(m): 2:37am On Jul 12, 2025

Ayomide11111:
My childhood experiences were tough and wicked with my parents. Despite my calmness and meekness my "dad" did says I'm a mistake. He did says he doubts his paternity over me ... I'm still inside the trauma currently in my 30s ... I fled from home after I came home from school (polytechnic program) and just to heard him vowed for himself that when I'm done with my polytechnic program he's gonna show me shéégé. ..... I looked up and down and I asked myself if I have been a wayward or disobedient child to this man in a life before this.... I didn't see love. I envy children who talk about their parents with a good and loving energy

If you parents are still alive try and see them physically and tell them how they made you feel growing up, everything you experienced, all you wrote down here that's how you start healing from the trauma

Have a heart to heart talk with them be open minded about it

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by sunnyfats: 3:57am On Jul 12, 2025

Go for therapy
Go for therapy
Go for therapy
Go for therapy

When you find yourself in such situations,
Please go for therapy sessions, if you can, please do this before getting married and if the chance is not there, go after marriage.

Most of us as Nigerians did not grow properly. some of our behaviors are not normal, but because we are living with people who have been traumatised without knowing it, we all think we are doing ok.

It is even good that you are realizing this, May God heal you .Amen

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by xavuv: 4:10am On Jul 12, 2025

Same here too.

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

. Complaints to or against moderators must be sent privately. Please don't disobey, disrespect, or defame them.
21. Please spell words correctly when you post, and try to use perfect grammar and punctuation.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by themanderon: 4:37am On Jul 12, 2025

I am eternally greatful for the kind of parents God gave me. Especially my dear dear mother of blessed memory. I miss her everyday and shed tears everyday for her even though she died in old age. There is none like her.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by themanderon: 4:39am On Jul 12, 2025

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

You just have to heal forgive them and move on. They didn't know better that's why you were treated that way.
Make a list of what you don't like about them and ensure you don't do same to your own kids. There is a very high tendency that the pain may be transferred to your own kids so you do all in your power to avoid it.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Emmacolinho(m): 5:20am On Jul 12, 2025

obembet:
Something is not right bro. Many us out mothers make some mistakes by cheating or other things... Maybe our father find out that they are not the biological father.... I can't say sha but my brother, it's worst experience

I look exactly like him bro exactly 100% I just tire

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Emmacolinho(m): 5:23am On Jul 12, 2025

3kay945:
Seriously??!

Things dey sup o.

This reminded me of a guy who abandoned his jobless wife with 5 kids. Ran away to remarry another girl somewhere.

Almost same story here. He first abandoned us for 8yrs when I was in primary school and absconded again when he got his retirement benefits from Nigeria Airways.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Emmacolinho(m): 5:26am On Jul 12, 2025

CJStarz:
Haaaaaa, dis one serious o.
Ur papa no be at all but all the same, forgive them and don't treat your own children d way he treated u

Forgive someone that hasn't shown any sign of remorse? He first abandoned us for 8yrs when I was in primary school and absconded again when he got his retirement benefits from Nigeria Airways. He even has a daughter outside and till now hasn't told us about this😤

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Nobody: 5:29am On Jul 12, 2025

Glowqueen3:
Hmmmn this goes a long way to tell us that some people are wicked based on some of the things they had encounter among their family, though some may outgrow it while some will continue the circle there by raising emotional damaged Individual into the society

That's the major problem

20 more characters needed

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by akin9ja78(m): 5:32am On Jul 12, 2025

You were laying on the sick bed did you tell them you are sick lol

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by WorldRichest: 5:56am On Jul 12, 2025

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

Hand don touch this one. Dem don turn him brain to the other side

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Richpet85: 6:00am On Jul 12, 2025

I was so hard earlier with my comment because I detest it when people make ill comment or statement about the errors or weakness of their parents irrespective of what their experience were however, I apologise for that but my candid advice is, please forgive your Dad, secondly try to enquire into why he did what he did, probe through your family history and identify what went wrong either from your Dad or gland parent. Most often it is a family tree that layered down to present family circumstances. I bet you that your Dad mistakes might not have started from him and you need to find reason to bring him closer, share your feelings, express your anger, sadness with him, console your heart and begin a new life. Recounting his mistakes and neglect will keep on hurting if you didn't let go. Change the narrative to avoid such repetition in your family and ensure you get your father's blessing no matter what.
May God grant you quick healing as you journeyed through this pain. Amen

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Karlifate: 7:53am On Jul 12, 2025

inoki247:
Lol una no dey calm down you think is easy then..

That's why I look at people always saying Nigeria economy is always good back den....

Unless we wan deceive ourselves our kid this days are even getting more love than we there parent....
Almost every household now as a TV..

If you've TV in your area back then you guys are part of the richest in your community...

As a kid you can't cry you want something make slap no follow u nd install sense into u...

You only eat Rice on special occasions if una get small change you also eat Rice on Sunday after Service....

There's no time this country is smiling...

That's human nature for you.

Homo sapiens will relish past memories just to escape present realities.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by NeckingNgulping(m): 8:29am On Jul 12, 2025

Coolsat:
If the dad sponsored his polytechnic program, so? I don't want to misquote you, you can complete the statement so people can tell you more about parenting.

You don't really know whose side on which I am. I needed an answer from him, so I would say what I have on my mind.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by cobby14(m): 9:20am On Jul 12, 2025

Op you summarized my life right there but you're wrong. my dad for the first time in his life wished me a happy birthday a day before my birthday and i had to remind him of what he has never said to me not to talk of celebrating one.we both laughed about it.i understand him better, now that i'm an adult.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by 3kay945(m): 9:35am On Jul 12, 2025

Emmacolinho:
Almost same story here. He first abandoned us for 8yrs when I was in primary school and absconded again when he got his retirement benefits from Nigeria Airways.

Chai, that was so bad. Your mum must be a strong woman.

She really tried.

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by CJStarz: 10:04am On Jul 12, 2025

Emmacolinho:
Forgive someone that hasn't shown any sign of remorse? He first abandoned us for 8yrs when I was in primary school and absconded again when he got his retirement benefits from Nigeria Airways. He even has a daughter outside and till now hasn't told us about this😤

I understand how you feel. Betrayed. He might have been jazzed by a woman. But even at that, just forgive and move on. Focus and build your own home.

1 Like

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by enemyofprogress: 11:40am On Jul 12, 2025

Enu lo wa ya. E go soon reach your turn. Continue you hear?

Not enough original content
Please take a moment to write a quality post with at least 40 characters.
This will make the forum more interesting for everyone.

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Anunakeeh: 1:03pm On Jul 12, 2025

Ajah to mah sonu oni fere olode grin

Ounti lotun racketi bayi. Uugu khuu juyen kolooosi obroooku grin

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Benrosaria(m): 2:24pm On Jul 12, 2025

achimendy:
You have the capability to work your way to the equal part of life.

Your parents have done their part.

Yes I could but, do you agree with equality??

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Thomasankara(m): 2:39pm On Jul 13, 2025

[/color]polygamy contributes a great role[color=#770077]

dkidd:
Polygamy has nothing to do with it. Who is bad is bad. Simple

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by achimendy(m): 1:58pm On Jul 15, 2025

Benrosaria:
Yes I could but, do you agree with equality??

Equality on what ground?

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by Benrosaria(m): 7:19am On Jul 16, 2025

achimendy:
Equality on what ground?

Equality on the grounds that there isn't suppose to be hierarchy in the spheres of human life

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by achimendy(m): 2:34pm On Jul 16, 2025*

Benrosaria:
Equality on the grounds that there isn't suppose to be hierarchy in the spheres of human life

Who said there isn't suppose to be hierarchy or inequality in human society? You're just giving your own unrealistic opinion.

Since from the days of old, looking at it from the Bible, there is always something that marks the difference of men in their various society. Their society where hierarchicaly structured by either the substance they possess, their exceptional characters and the skill they have, shifted them into higher positions than others e.g Joseph, Daniel, david, the three Hebrew boys, job, Abraham and the kings, princes, governors, soothsayer etc. This people where influential men during their time, and they occupied top positions during their time and in their various territories.
However, you also need to know that God created us equal as humans by giving each and everyone of us a skill or ability that can shift us to greatness. But is not everyone that is ready to take the responsibility to work on that skill to the extent of becoming a master in it. Some are too lazy to work it out. But the few successful ones that discovered their skill, refined it, master it and finally became great through it cannot be on thesame level with those that didn't work out their own skill to greatness. That's what brings about hierarchy and social stratification in the society.

We are equal before God but the investment of our time, hardwork, knowledge, persistence, believe and sacrifices have separated men into different levels and and positions in our various societies. So don't seat there and assume unrealistic equal society, discover your skill, work on it,become a master in it, and pray for grace then watch how God shift you to the top levels of life.

I hope you understand my inputs. Thank you and God bless 🙌

Re: How To Know That Your Parents Failed Or Never Loved You From Day 1 by bummyla(m): 7:33pm On Jul 26, 2025

My mum was mean to me while I was growing up, many times I asked if she's truly my mum, if not for our resemblance, I would think I was adopted.

I have forgiven her and I am up mobile now!

She now calls to say "I love you"

She even get jealous I call my Dad more.

My older siblings wanted to tell me all the negative things my mum told them in the past about me, but I told them, I am not interested. I believe our children will treat us the way we treat our parents and I want a loving home, so I forgave her and move on

Running down her phone batteries with credit alerts and I hardly pick up the phone when she wants to call to pray for me and say "Thank You"

Ayomide11111:
My childhood experiences were tough and wicked with my parents. Despite my calmness and meekness my "dad" did says I'm a mistake. He did says he doubts his paternity over me ... I'm still inside the trauma currently in my 30s ... I fled from home after I came home from school (polytechnic program) and just to heard him vowed for himself that when I'm done with my polytechnic program he's gonna show me shéégé. ..... I looked up and down and I asked myself if I have been a wayward or disobedient child to this man in a life before this.... I didn't see love. I envy children who talk about their parents with a good and loving energy

1 2 3 Reply

I Never Loved Him–lady Changes Mind About Marrying Man Who Trained Her In School • What Character Traits Do Your Parents Have That Annoy You So Much? • N100,000: How would You Share This Between Your Parents? • 2 • 3 • 4

In One Word Describe The Relationship With Your Dad • My Son Just Got A Girlfriend....Happy But Scared!!! • A Man Who Expects Good Food & Doesn't Drop Money