₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I have lived long enough to realize these are all lies we like to tell ourselves to keep from doing the right thing for ourselves. or to keep others from doing what we know they ought to instead.

Correct

dollytino4real:
no beat the man but give him hash warning to put some sense in him

warning some animal?
When in igboland you see wife's brothers do such,the useless man have crossed his limits
Have you seen some men beat their wife?
Most times,they are men who can't stand their fellow men for 5 seconds

spiceadole:
Honestly...
Women and marriage ehn.
Like a man who should be protecting and shielding you will be beating you and you still cook for him,have se.x with him and remain in the same house with him .
God forbid evil.

The day my husband feels like dying,let him pinch me...He will regret his past,present and future in advance.
Nonsense!

They are on another thread convincing themselves (not me), that women love toxic and lying partners. Yet some women fail to see these acts are deliberate. They think enduring it makes them special. I thank God there is no single part of me wired to seek male validation at the expense of my life. You will call me whatever _no wahala, but you cannot take my life or peace-of-mind. NEVER.

Jman06:
Serves him right!

I warned all my in-laws beforehand that they should never beat my sisters no matter her offence. It's better you return her to us in one piece than beating her. I'll use every possible means to retaliate any day any of them beat up my sisters.

Who are you to warn your brother in-laws?
You have greatly increased the possibility of your sisters becoming divorcees

lightwind:
After spending millions on wedding including all the necessary payments for a woman. Everybody come go their separate ways.
Marriage na just another method of scam.

True bro. If you know how much I spent on wedding before divorce, you will pity me.

Zooposki:
Very good. Next time the husband will think twice before beating the wife. Them no flog am well. Them for give the cane to the wife to flog him too.

There's no next time here bro. She should continue the marriage in her brother's house. We men are in charge here 😎😎

GraceWilliams2:
There's no next time here bro. She should continue the marriage in her brother's house. We men are in charge here 😎😎

Ok

Kobojunkie:
She belongs until you decide to send her packing back to her father's house and family, abi? Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

Can we all, at least at this point, un-normalize these old stale lies? No one is buying them anymore, so why keep telling them?🙄🙄🙄

Well, you're seeing it from another point of view. Are you married?

If no, then you can't relate.

A quick one, my wife and I have never had any quarrel since we met. (During relationship and married). So I don't know how you how you people gets toxic and all to the extent of fighting.

Now, back to why I made that statement, In many traditional cultures, a woman is seen as joining her husband’s family through marriage. Taking his name, living in his home, and becoming part of his lineage. Her family is viewed as giving her away, and she may lose inheritance rights or formal ties to her birth family. She becomes part of her husband’s family and joins in their activities. But as a son in-law, you're often seen as an outsider and may not be included in all her family’s traditions or decisions.

Now, as for this thread, the man's friends and family will conderm his actions against the wife. (Except they're useless). As for the wife, she might have been feeding her family with only negative things from the husband, hence the action. If they saw him as their family member, that wouldn't have been the way to go about it.

dollytino4real:
ok but no kpai person pikin 1st

That's the thing, some Ladies can do disobedience that it can make e even the softest man to provoke



Some simple instructions like no go that party, or no go that place, and yet the Lady went there, it can anger a Man, for reasons why he forbide her going there

Kobojunkie:
The marriage ended the moment the man laid hands on the woman. That she remained does not mean a marriage continued; rather, that a victim of abuse submitted to trauma and her tormentor.

The marriage won't end when a woman lays her hands in a man, most of these violence aren't an action but a reaction to another violence. No one has the rights to lay hands on another whether a man or a woman irrespective of gender but if the reverse is the case most if you don't won't say the same that the marriage has ended when she laid her hands in him

Kobojunkie:
. The marriage ended the moment the man/woman resorted to violence.

No it didn't it was still at a stage where it could have been salvaged.

dollytino4real:
e go sweet o grandma versus grand pa mixture

How e go take sweet?
Sweetest love is my age - Romeo and Juliet
See below

sweetkev:
True bro. If you know how much I spent on wedding before divorce, you will pity me.

Nawa oo after all the spending and stress coupled

dollytino4real:
not so abeg u

You are good

You touch my one and only sister...You no go die but u go nearly die

yemmit90:
I agree with you on this, no one can predict what to expect in marriage, it is black market that could turn out to be good, fair or bad.

It is well ma, age will gradually reduce the temper in him, and you shall be happy again.

You are right, age calm them down and he is changing

Kobojunkie:
Corporate dress is not meant just for the office or work, though.

I meant some people don't go to work at all, they just find somewhere to sit in the evening they come back like a normal person

Kobojunkie:
Why then are you still clinging to this person after realizing his true color?

Some people are not lucky and when we work an it and there is a sign of change we don't let go

chccho:
✓No it didn't it was still at a stage where it could have been salvaged.

Salvaged? The sort of meaningless tripe we spew gives me the heebie-jeebies about Nigerian culture. 😩😩😩

If the woman who had beaten her husband black and blue, would you also deem the marriage salvageable then, too? 🙄🙄🙄

Jamsam:
➜Some people are not lucky
➜ and when we work an it and there is a sign of change we don't let go

What has luck to do with anything?

2. How many times have you had to "work it out" so far? And how many signs of change have you seen so far that you are still thinking of when you "work it out"?

Zooposki:
Very good. Next time the husband will think twice before beating the wife. Them no flog am well. Them for give the cane to the wife to flog him too.

Honestly I don't support beating a woman. But,with this kind of attack from her brothers do you think there will be a second time. It will be best for them to take her along after the whole saga

MrDoGood:
➜ Now, back to why I made that statement, In many traditional cultures, a woman is seen as joining her husband’s family through marriage. Taking his name, living in his home, and becoming part of his lineage. Her family is viewed as giving her away, and she may lose inheritance rights or formal ties to her birth family. She becomes part of her husband’s family and joins in their activities. But as a son in-law, you're often seen as an outsider and may not be included in all her family’s traditions or decisions.
➜ Now, as for this thread, the man's friends and family will conderm his actions against the wife. (Except they're useless). As for the wife, she might have been feeding her family with only negative things from the husband, hence the action. If they saw him as their family member, that wouldn't have been the way to go about it.

1. Many of these traditional delusions are to blame for the dysfunction that is the Nigerian family to this day. 🙄🙄

In the same way, she is allowed to join the family; she can also be kicked out of the family by the man. Case closed, abeg! No need for the lengthy nonsense!

2. How does condemning his actions bring justice or succor to a fractured marriage? Fine, now that the woman's brothers have beaten the man black and blue, would merely condemning the actions of the woman's brothers also end the rage inside of the husband at this point? Nonsense!

Zooposki:
Very good. Next time the husband will think twice before beating the wife. Them no flog am well. Them for give the cane to the wife to flog him too.

I don't think there will be next time as they must take her along

While violence is never justified, it’s crucial for families to address such issues through peaceful and legal channels, ensuring that all parties are protected and that lasting solutions are found.

Kobojunkie:
Salvaged? The sort of meaningless tripe we spew gives me the heebie-jeebies about Nigerian culture. 😩😩😩

If the woman who had beaten her husband black and blue, would you also deem the marriage salvageable then, too? 🙄🙄🙄

Common sense will tell u 2wrongs can never make a right. Couples fight and at times it gets violent, but they still find a way to remedy the situation, and save the marriage so what's your headache?? Now that her brothers have beaten hell out of the husband, will u marry their sister?

chccho:
➜Common sense will tell u 2wrongs can never make a right. Couples fight and at times it gets violent,
➜ but[b] they still find a way to remedy the situation[/b], and save the marriage so what's your headache?? Now that her brothers have beaten hell out of the husband, will u marry their sister?

1. All this so you can avoid answering the question I asked earlier? Again, if the woman had been the one who beat up the husband— the wife was the assailant while the husband had been the victim—, would you have also deemed the marriage salvageable then too?

2. The moment one partner physically assaults the other, the relationship is over; what is left is an emotionally parasitic relationship where one partner, usually the assailant, holds the upper hand over the one who was the victim of the assault.

ponishah:
So what!
If marriage ends and life is saved.
I don't why you people hide under the stupidity of ranking marriage ahead of life.

I can very well live with the blame of crashing my sisters marriage by attempting to safe her life, BUT I CAN'T LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF MY SISTERS DEATH IN THE HANDS OF HER HUSBAND BECAUSE I REFUSED ACT

Nobody is ranking marriage ahead of life, some of us are actually against violence in marriage but why not just walk away and go with a clean slate.

Teymanhenry:
➜In such situations, the dynamics can be challenging. While physical violence is never acceptable, the woman might continue disrespecting her husband if she feels protected by her brothers' presence. This could lead to a toxic environment, with the husband feeling threatened, disrespected, or disinterested in the marriage. In such cases, prioritizing happiness and well-being might mean considering separation or counseling to address underlying issues. A healthy relationship is crucial for a fulfilling life.

When the man initially beat his wife, that was not an act of disrespect? He turned the marriage toxic the moment he felt to disrespect her by hitting her, but you are busy trying to shift the blame here onto her brothers. Why?

Kobojunkie:
1. All this so you can avoid answering the question I asked earlier? Again, if the woman had been the one who beat up the husband— the wife was the assailant while the husband had been the victim—, would you have also deemed the marriage salvageable then too?

2. The moment one partner physically assaults the other, the relationship is over; what is left is an emotionally parasitic relationship where one partner, usually the assailant, holds the upper hand over the one who was the victim of the assault.

It's obvious u didn't read and comprehend properly my last response, if u did u will see that I already answered your question

chccho:
➜It's obvious u didn't read and comprehend properly my last response, if u did u will see that I already answered your question

Your struggle with lack of comprehension has nothing to do with me. Your previous post claimed that couples fight and sometimes get violent, as though to excuse violence. What you never did was answer the question that I asked, which is if the woman had flogged that man black and blue, would you equally suggest that marriage is salvageable?

lightwind:
You are good

u too u be gooder

engrchykae:
warning some animal?
When in igboland you see wife's brothers do such,the useless man have crossed his limits
Have you seen some men beat their wife?
Most times,they are men who can't stand their fellow men for 5 seconds

beating an in-law no sound good at all whether wife or husband