₦airaland Forum

lymelyte:
emotional intelligence and yet women still select the wrongest of men..nonsns

Intelligence doesn't cancel emotion. Normally, emotionally intelligent people are not angels. Love or pressure can cloud one's judgment.

One of the most honest prayers for marriage is: 'God, don't let me end up with a weapon fashioned against me.' Because you can't be too careful.

It's not that easy. Sometimes, it takes nothing less than the grace of God to walk away from what's hurting you; especially when love is involved. That's why it's best to listen early, when something feels off and avoid certain relationship, because it's possible to get stuck.

femi4:
Nigerian women brings nothing. They see it as a gateway out of poverty

Here you are, spitting shit and downplaying the efforts of Nigerian women. You have failed to realize that time is money.

There are Nigerian women that work full-time jobs and still come home to handle house chores. The energy they pour into both work and home is unmatched. Meanwhile, in many cases, men come home, eat, and relax in front of the TV.

Go and research how things work in the Western world; so you'll quickly understand that time truly is money.

If anything, women deserve more credit, not less.

360who:
Whatever a woman brings to the table can be paid for and be replaced. Can't say the same for a man.

Interesting claim! Would you mind mentioning just one of the things that you believe men bring to the table that cannot be paid for or replaced?

Merry100:
Calling facts dumb won’t cancel them; it just shows your own inability to face them.

Saying ‘it varies’ doesn’t cancel the fact that women are often the backbone across board. That’s like saying poverty isn’t real because some people are rich.

Abeg rest ok

Merry100:
Here you are, spitting shit and downplaying the efforts of Nigerian women. You have failed to realize that time is money.

There are Nigerian women that work full-time jobs and still come home to handle house chores. The energy they pour into both work and home is unmatched. Meanwhile, in many cases, men come home, eat, and relax in front of the TV.

Go and research how things work in the Western world; so you'll quickly understand that time truly is money.

If anything, women deserve more credit, not less.

So men don't have time to bring into the relationship

No dey use this kain brain cross the express

femi4:
So men don't have time to bring into the relationship

No dey use this kain brain cross the express

Bro, you get 1 + 1 = Egg roll

Sorry, can I ask something; did you skip reasoning class? Oh, no wonder you think women "bring nothing."

But at least you're loud; the class would never go dull with you around.

So, Time + Time = More Available Time 🤣

You jumped into a serious conversation with your shallow takes. You claim women "bring nothing"?

The time they spend cooking, cleaning, raising children, and managing the home; those are full-time jobs.

In countries where time is respected, some people don't even attempt to do all these things themselves; they pay others: nannies, housekeepers, cooks; because they have to go to work.

The time a woman spends caring for the home or raising children is time she could be using to earn; but she sacrifices it. And you're here downplaying her effort like she's just sitting at home munching on Eba.

A woman staying home during pregnancy, putting to bed, weaning a child, or caring for a newborn; all while her body undergoes intense changes; is still contributing something you clearly don't understand: unpaid labour that keeps the entire family running.

Merry100:
In my opinion, Nigerian women bring more to the table

What a foolish question! No wonder it just making Front page after over 3 years

Kingosytex:
What sacrifices are you talking about?
A man will sacrifice his happiness for his family while a woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.

lol. How does a woman sacrifice her family for her happiness. By moving out and living with the man? So that means if a woman who is not married relocates to another country to pursue her goals and happiness. Can we also say that, she sacrificed her family too for her goals?

Kobojunkie:
. That is instead a myth and not a fact. It has been shown time and time again that the average woman tends to bring so much more to the table than the average man does. What is happening in places like Japan and South Korea — with many women rejecting marriage and childbirth altogether — more than proves that the men never did bring the most to the table in many cases.

May be you should research further, their men are equally rejecting marriages and having kids on the same level if not higher.

Rubyjade:
That's a bold claim — that marriage was designed primarily for the benefit of men, and therefore women bring more to the table — but it doesn’t hold up fully under historical, biological, and social scrutiny. Biblical Interpretation Is Often Misused

Yes, Genesis 2:18 says “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.”
But that "helper" (Hebrew: ezer kenegdo) is not a sidekick — it’s a powerful term used to describe God Himself in other scriptures (e.g., Psalm 33:20).

So the woman was not created as less than, but as a complementary equal — not proof that she brings "more" or that marriage is for men’s exclusive benefit. The Bible doesn't suggest women are superior in value — but equal partners.

Historically, marriage benefited both genders, often protecting women.

Modern data shows men may gain more in health and stability, while women often carry more emotional and mental load — which is why they leave more often.

Marriage is not about who brings more, but how both partners contribute fully and fairly.

I did not mention women are 'superior' or 'inferior'.

Marriage, in its essence was designed for a man's benefit.

Will women (if married to good/right men) benefit? Will some of them have better lives? Yes.

Does it negate that it is for a man's benefit? No.

All through the Bible, the benefit of marriage to men was stated... 'He who marries a wife has found a good thing and has obtained favour from the Lord'; ' A righteous woman is her husband's crown'; 'It is not good for a man to be alone'.... etc. If you want to explore Solomon's take, marriage/ wife was seen as a man's reward/cushion in this hard life. NO Bible verse talks about the benefit of marriage to women. None.

Protection.... from what? Men. Enough said!

Even Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous wife; what was her benefit? Her husband and her children 'praise' her.

Are the praises enough return on the investment she makes in about 20 verses to make their lives easy? Who knows.

theredaddy:
If Marriage was designed to benefit Men ... why are the wives mostly next of kin

if Marriage was designed to benefit Men .... why is the wedding day regarded as the Bride joyful day

If Marriage was design to benefit Men... why does it impede polygamy

if Marriage was design to Benefit Men ... why are mothers the main recipient of children benefits at old age

if Marriage was design to benefit Men ... why are the Men expected to sacrifice the most nd die for the family

Take out money (which most men can't even afford to bring fully in this capitalist world) what do most men bring to the table?

What do most men do to make women's lives easier?

Isn't it classic redpill that women don't want men when they have money? Does it occur to you that it is because that most of them bring to the table?

Imagine, why does marriage impede polygamy? This is a mistake right?

Women benefit from children more because of marriage. Single mothers don't benefit from their children?

I don't think you are mature enough for this discussion.

FreeIgboho:
Wrong! Marriage is DEFINITELY designed for women BUT they also bring more to the table (as it ought be because marriage is for them!)

Marriage was not designed for women.

Infact, a lot of women live better, fuller and richer lives while single.

Kobojunkie:
. That is instead a myth and not a fact. It has been shown time and time again that the average woman tends to bring so much more to the table than the average man does. What is happening in places like Japan and South Korea — with many women rejecting marriage and childbirth altogether — more than proves that the men never did bring the most to the table in many cases.

Can you name those things you're talking about because in general you're far from the truth..... Men's handiworks and brilliance is what keep things lively in this world of ours.

bukatyne:
I did not mention women are 'superior' or 'inferior'.

Marriage, in its essence was designed for a man's benefit.

Will women (if married to good/right men) benefit? Will some of them have better lives? Yes.


Does it negate that it is for a man's benefit? No.

All through the Bible, the benefit of marriage to men was stated... 'He who marries a wife has found a good thing and has obtained favour from the Lord'; ' A righteous woman is her husband's crown'; 'It is not good for a man to be alone'.... etc. If you want to explore Solomon's take, marriage/ wife was seen as a man's reward/cushion in this hard life. NO Bible verse talks about the benefit of marriage to women. None.

Protection.... from what? Men. Enough said!

Even Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous wife; what was her benefit? Her husband and her children 'praise' her.

Are the praises enough return on the investment she makes in about 20 verses to make their lives easy? Who knows.

Lol, designed for Men's benefits in what way?.....both parties benefit from it if not Females wouldn't even consider going into marriage. .

chimaxx:
The question was not properly coined or presented, it would be uncharitable to say a particular gender bring more to the table, the 'more" all to be defined, in finance, domestic work, family balance/marriage survival, wisdom child mentoring and formations and a host of other variables. In finance men rule the world in most families while the women have 1st. Class in home front and children formation. Buy in another angle if you critically look at it from the point of The man married the women, it means that the man brought the woman to the table along with what ever the woman brought to the table, but if na woman married the man otilor

you are very correct bro

Mattswaggz:
✓ Can you name those things you're talking about because in general you're far from the truth..... Men's handiworks and brilliance is what keep things lively in this world of ours.

This, again, is all propaganda to keep men deluded and deceived. Time and time again, it has been shown that the average woman contributes more towards the success of a man and the marriage than the average man does.

Someone gave list of roles occupied by the average woman in marriages in Nigeria and I gave a breakdown below.

Kobojunkie:
The average Nigerian woman occupies the role of
➜ Baby mama
➜ Nanny
➜ Housekeeper & Governess
➜ Cook/Chef
➜ Emotion dumpster/Counselor
➜Sex partner
➜Personal Assistant...
....in marriage. When you consider each and every role individually, you find that the average man out there can't even afford to pay for those on his salary as a Nigerian. However, these are contract roles played by women in marriage, and most of them for free. A life of suffering masked as an achievement and "glory" for the religious among them.

2. Those who also carry on their backs the role of provider in marriage leave me dumbstruck every single time. I can never understand what drives these women to such lengths .... suffering?

In places like Japan, South Korea and much of Asia, the traditional role occupied by women also includes
➜ Caring for aged in-laws
➜ being available when called on even by her in-laws
➜ catering duties during family rites, etc.

authority2006:
✓ May be you should research further, their men are equally rejecting marriages and having kids on the same level if not higher.

I have done my research well on this. And what remains at the core of this is women rejecting marriage. The major complaint among men happens to be the economy which has made it difficult for many to fully provide for themselves let alone for q marriage. Other than that, most men seek to someday become married. However, the woman on the other hand are literally quoting marriage, some going as far as rejecting even dating and that has incensed a lot of men leading to increased attacks against women in many areas

bukatyne:
✓ Marriage was designed for the benefit of men.
According to the Bible, God said it is [b]not good for a man to be alone & created a woman. So naturally, women bring more to the 'table' ( to mirror the OP). [/b]
The ask is that men bring something commensurate; 40% will do.

The Bible instead sad, " It is not good for man to be alone." Adam was the only man who was alone at the time hence the man referred to in the texts.

Kobojunkie:
This, again, is all propaganda to keep men deluded and deceived. Time and time again, it has been shown that the average woman contributes more towards the success of a man and the marriage than the average man does.

Someone gave list of roles occupied by the average woman in marriages in Nigeria and I gave a breakdown below.
In places like Japan, South Korea and much of Asia, the traditional role occupied by women also includes
➜ Caring for aged in-laws
➜ being available when called on even by her in-laws
➜ catering duties during family rites, etc.

Contributes to the success of the marriage.... agreeable but the success of the man is debatable.....like how did you come to such conclusions.

Most of these roles you mentioned were viewed as that of women since time immemorial (just like Men would be expected to do the defending in case of an attack)and they help keep the marriage if played properly but most men tend to be successful on their own before even considering marriage.

bukatyne:
Take out money (which most men can't even afford to bring fully in this capitalist world) what do most men bring to the table?

What do most men do to make women's lives easier?

Isn't it classic redpill that women don't want men when they have money? Does it occur to you that it is because that most of them bring to the table?

Imagine, why does marriage impede polygamy? This is a mistake right?

Women benefit from children more because of marriage. Single mothers don't benefit from their children?

I don't think you are mature enough for this discussion.

Take out money please Take home away From marriage, can you have a house without Rent/money

What men do to make life easier for Women is taking FULL or Most of the Responsibility of marriages,
1. RENT
2. children school
3. Sending Allowee to inlaw
4. Giving the sense of security to both wive & children
check single Mothers rant and you will appreciate men better

No one said Women dont want Men, they need the diick ! But what is more correct Women with Money struggle to submit to a man ... take folake4u for instance now she can buy data herself no man she respect

You can't posit Men dont bring anything to the Table, even if walk into the r/ship without kobo ... my surname, Father figure, security pose is something that can't be devalue

Iyabo ojo is a single mom, Reginal mother is a single mom .. would you say they are not benefiting

The whole essence of marriage is to promote One man One wife ... dvmmmmie

if i am not mature for this conversation you are not even eligible for a conversation

Kobojunkie:
1. In Nigeria, there is no statistic out claim claiming that wives are mostly next of kin.

2. They are regarded as the bride's joyful day DOES NOT in fact mean the bride is fact in happy on that day.

3. Impede polygamy in what sense? 😏

4. There is no evidence that mothers are the main recipients of children's benefits in old age. Rather, there is instead evidence that the parent most involved with the children benefits the most in old age. It is not a consequence of marriage but rather of emotional investment made during the developmental years of the children.

5. The sacrifice most men make is instead to secure them the benefit of claiming the title of head of household in the marriage. It has little or nothing to do with anything else, really.

Let's stop perpetuating falsehoods regarding the place and benefits of marriage, shall we?

1. Run a quick check on landladies and you will find the answer you claim not want to see

2. Whether the bride is happy or not happy Does not change reality ..its the bride family happy day ... go check iyabo ojo daughter wedding who groove pass

3. Impede polygamy in the sense that Marriage promotes Faithfulness/Fidelity

4. Do you say no evidence, does it me you are irresponsible or you dont have a Mom?? inbetween using you who do you give money the most your mom or Dad ?? abi dem stil dey feed you

5. By default Men are head of the house, the community communicate to the family through the Man should authorities come to the house the seek the Man of the house 1st ... something pocohantas will never get no matter how she try thief am

Sacrifices Men made is tied to Ego, when the children are sent home from the school, when the landlord comes to ask for 3yrs owed rent n creat a scene ... who hides his face ?? who public go mock ??

when a Man dont have money to go home dey hard pass to enter cell .. why ??

Mattswaggz:
➜ Contributes to the success of the marriage.... agreeable but the success of the man is debatable.....like how did you come to such conclusions.
➜ Most of these roles you mentioned were viewed as that of women since time immemorial (just like Men would be expected to do the defending in case of an attack)and they help keep the marriage if played properly but most men tend to be successful on their own before even considering marriage.

1. Debatable, you say? The following are roles the man either had to occupy on his own or pay others to take care of on his behalf.
➜ Housekeeper & Governess
➜ Cook/Chef
➜ Emotion dumpster/Counselor
➜ Sex partner
➜ Personal Assistant...

However, notice that after marriage, not only does the man get a live-in woman to offload those duties to, but he also does not need to pay her a salary for all of her labor. And by doing so, the man is better able to focus on his career and success outside of the home.

2. Humans have only one lifetime to worry about. It should not matter what people in the past held to, since we are now in the information age and are better informed about both the past and the present, to realize it makes no sense to default to the past for answers regarding issues realized in our present.

Kobojunkie:
1. Debatable, you say? The following are roles the man either had to occupy on his own or pay others to take care of on his behalf.
➜ Housekeeper & Governess
➜ Cook/Chef
➜ Emotion dumpster/Counselor
➜ Sex partner
➜ Personal Assistant...

However, notice that after marriage, not only does the man get a live-in woman to offload those duties to, but he also does not need to pay her a salary for all of her labor. And by doing so, the man is better able to focus on his career and success outside of the home.

2. Humans have only one lifetime to worry about. It should not matter what people in the past held to, since we are now in the information age and are better informed about both the past and the present, to realize it makes no sense to default to the past for answers regarding issues realized in our present.

Those instances I used as examples are still true in most cases today.

Btw, let's look at those points you listed.

~Housekeeper/governess :- a lot of men help in house keeping though in less in society like Nigeria but Men largely help in this regard in modern society.

~Cook/Chef :- most men even if they can cook dislike cooking... It's one of those things men view as a woman's role... Which means most men don't cook. (FIRST SOLID POINT).

~Emotional dumpster/counselor :- I'd like an example of what you mean here so as not to misinterpret what you're saying or trying to say.

~Sex Partner :- Sex goes both ways and....it's not a one way thing.

~Personal assistant :- has to do with whom you trust....if anyone sees this as some sort of burden they can easily distance themselves from being viewed as such. .

Mattswaggz:
➜Those instances I used as examples are still true in most cases today. Btw, let's look at those points you listed.
~Housekeeper/governess :- a lot of men help in house keeping though in less in society like Nigeria but Men largely help in this regard in modern society.
~Cook/Chef :- most men even if they can cook dislike cooking... It's one of those things men view as a woman's role... Which means most men don't cook. (FIRST SOLID POINT).
~Emotional dumpster/counselor :- I'd like an example of what you mean here so as not to misinterpret what you're saying or trying to say.
~Sex Partner :- Sex goes both ways and....it's not a one way thing.
~Personal assistant :- has to do with whom you trust....if anyone sees this as some sort of burden they can easily distance themselves from being viewed as such. .

I am afraid I don't follow at all. Care to explain in plain terms what you mean by all of this?

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid I don't follow at all. Care to explain in plain terms what you mean by all of this?

What's difficult for you to understand in the write up....the Grammar or the alignment or the points....which one?.

Nonetheless, I see no need for this back and forth if anyone thinks marriage would favor another at their expense, then stay single....Simple. .

If I am to marry today, I will have known why I did so and what I expect and If I can't find it in marriage I'll leave (I'll always want to keep my options open).

Bye. .

bukatyne:
I did not mention women are 'superior' or 'inferior'.

Marriage, in its essence was designed for a man's benefit.

Will women (if married to good/right men) benefit? Will some of them have better lives? Yes.

Does it negate that it is for a man's benefit? No.

All through the Bible, the benefit of marriage to men was stated... 'He who marries a wife has found a good thing and has obtained favour from the Lord'; ' A righteous woman is her husband's crown'; 'It is not good for a man to be alone'.... etc. If you want to explore Solomon's take, marriage/ wife was seen as a man's reward/cushion in this hard life. NO Bible verse talks about the benefit of marriage to women. None.

Protection.... from what? Men. Enough said!

Even Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous wife; what was her benefit? Her husband and her children 'praise' her.

Are the praises enough return on the investment she makes in about 20 verses to make their lives easy? Who knows.

You've presented a perspective on marriage based on biblical references, highlighting its benefits for men 🌟.
However, I disagree strongly
Marriage Benefits
1. Mutual Benefits: While the Bible does emphasize benefits for men, marriage can also be seen as a mutual partnership where both parties can benefit emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
2. Women's Benefits in Scripture: Although you noted no direct verses about women's benefits, passages like *Proverbs 18:22* can be interpreted to suggest that finding a spouse is a blessing, potentially implying mutual benefit.
3. Proverbs 31 Context: The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is indeed praised by her family, but her value is also depicted through her contributions and agency within the household, suggesting her life has purpose and fulfillment.
4. Modern Perspective: In contemporary contexts, marriage is often viewed as a partnership of equals, where both men and women can find support, companionship, and mutual growth.

While historical and biblical texts may highlight men's benefits, marriage can be seen as a mutual arrangement where both partners can experience positive outcomes .