₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
Sad! Really sad!
I hope women do better.

What did you finally do for him?

Found out he loves wildlife, is childhood dream was holidays in Serengeti. I settled for yankari with him for a start. That was some two years ago though.

highchief1:
biased opinions.pa Edwin Clark died at 97,the other yoruba man afenifere leader or so died at 97 too.some men still outlive their wife’s.okowas father died at 86 while Okowas mom died when she was about 40yrs old or so.

It's not biased Sir, it's just the way you decided to view it because the writer never instructed Men to now begin to neglect their family and responsibilities because they have been called upon to do the needful.

If you really want to understand his point of view with very rich data, start gathering wedding invitation cards and see who's mostly referenced as Late.

Trymeee:
Found out he loves wildlife, is childhood dream was holidays in Serengeti. I settled for yankari with him for a start. That was some two years ago though.

I love Serengeti too. Quite strange to see someone else whose dream vac is Serengeti. But it is not hard to figure out a wildlife enthusiast na. We watch documentaries for a start. Glad to know you asked. I have experienced similar situation. I had to be quite intentional about getting him things that are not food or alcoholic drinks. We go give mama wrapper, jewelry and money. Come give papa alcohol. Make im liver kuku kpai. 😂😂😂

Lionnation:
you are not making any sense here or may be I don't understand your grammar

Ok

IvyGRush:
It's not biased Sir, it's just the way you decided to view it because the writer never instructed Men to now begin to neglect their family and responsibilities because they have been called upon to do the needful.

If you really want to understand his point of view with very rich data, start gathering wedding invitation cards and see who's mostly referenced as Late.

lol men Dey suffer sha.This ur example want use laugh kill me.

Gerrard59:
Yet another thread by Nigerian married men. It seems Agbado economics is biting harder than I thought.

Well, well, well, you folks would see why I've been preaching fewer children for more than a decade on Nairaland. If there's one thing I'm proud of, it's being consistent when the facts are well-thought of.

i doubt it

much more likely some small boys raised on andrew tate and suckered by red pill university

Trymeee:
I once posted here some years back when I wanted doing something good for my Dad. I asked mum what daddy likes, mum couldn't even name something precise. I asked his friends and sisters, none could name anything and when I asked my Dad, he said Ahhhh No one cares about that jare ma worry.


I understood the level of weight he carries, unloved, uncared for except with food and very underappreciated. This is a man who sent 8 kids to private university. Both biological, relations and many others. This is a man people will come to for help when they need urgent school fees or so... And no one knew what he loves, not even his wife. (Meanwhile, he's my foster Dad.)

Dear, I must confess, you deserve an Award.
This is just the Summary of the Topic personified.

franchasng:
Scary, God forbid. I must live my God ordained age complete in good health and sound mind.


I am enjoying these threads about fathers and husbands.

It's refreshing reading from different people's opinion.



How do you think married men can live longer, please share you views, thanks guys

the only means of living longer is being selfish.
It must be 'YOU FIRST'

pocohantas:
I love Serengeti too. Quite strange to see someone else whose dream vac is Serengeti. But it is not hard to figure out a wildlife enthusiast na. We watch documentaries for a start. Glad to know you asked. I have experienced similar situation. I had to be quite intentional about getting him things that are not food or alcoholic drinks. We go give mama wrapper, jewelry and money. Come give papa alcohol. Make im liver kuku kpai. 😂😂😂

My dream vacation was Selous in tanzania, I already striked it off my bucket list, yankari also. Next on the list is Tsavo and Masai Mara both in Kenya. Hopefully next year as I learnt the best time to visit Kenya reserves is late June to early October, and this year is gone already.


Funny what you said about alcohol for fathers.... I believe the major reason father's will be undervalued is we male gender mis-interpret provision for love. The most common way a man potray love for his family is a good shelter, clothing and other needs. I'm not married though, but most men who takes part in kids day to day living like the small talks (not the macho kind of), little family get together etc makes the difference. Most men rarely does all this. Hence, the kids feel distant whereas the mother somewhere maybe not even providing as much is their emotionally, mentally and every other Ly. Father feels like a stranger and mum becomes the bridge over time.



I hope this makes sense though.

Bmaster:
the only means of living longer is being selfish.
It must be 'YOU FIRST'

Focusmind:
As a man, if you don't want to take care of yourself, na you sabi. The pressure and demands of the society are already stacked against us. Don't over do yourself all in the name of providing for your children and unborn kids. Be selfish and indulge yourself on things you like, that may likely prolong your life. Spend that money and get yourself quality fruits all the time, eat healthy, exercise, go out solely and enjoy yourself. Slow down and take it easy. If your body is not strong for any hustle, shelve it and regain your mojo and health before anything. Finally, if you don't have the means to cater for a family, don't marry yet, or better, postpone it till you are better prepared, financially. Financial stress and pressures have ruined many young men in their quest to meet up with the demands of the family.

Just say you are talking to me... I make the money, but my family spends the money...

I make so much money that... I still wore a torn boxers...

Trymeee:
My dream vacation was Selous in tanzania, I already striked it off my bucket list, yankari also. Next on the list is Tsavo and Masai Mara both in Kenya. Hopefully next year as I learnt the best time to visit Kenya reserves is late June to early October, and this year is gone already.


Funny what you said about alcohol for fathers.... I believe the major reason father's will be undervalued is we male gender mis-interpret provision for love. The most common way a man potray love for his family is a good shelter, clothing and other needs. I'm not married though, but most men who takes part in kids day to day living like the small talks (not the macho kind of), little family get together etc makes the difference. Most men rarely does all this. Hence, the kids feel distant whereas the mother somewhere maybe not even providing as much is their emotionally, mentally and every other Ly. Father feels like a stranger and mum becomes the bridge over time.


I hope this makes sense though.

Sure. It makes sense perfectly.
Growing up my both parents didn't talk much to us and at a point we began asking ourselves what was their plan when they had us, lol! However, women would always be more bendable. My mum tried catching up first. My dad followed.

Kids are not stupid. So while we have our reservations on their parenting model, we have grown to figure them out and we still carry my dad along well, even more sometimes.


Happy vacation in advance. ❤️

pocohantas:
Sure. It makes sense perfectly.
Growing up my both parents didn't talk much to us and at a point we began asking ourselves what was their plan when they had us, lol! However, women would always be more bendable. My mum tried catching up first. My dad followed.

Kids are not stupid. So while we have our reservations on their parenting model, we have grown to figure them out and we still carry my dad along well, even more sometimes.


Happy vacation in advance. ❤️

The funny thing is most male child see Dad as first hero/role model and often than none, they follow in his footsteps. In sense, this father been undervalued won't stop happening as the next many generation fathers will still be emotionally absent as they will believe it's just their duty to work and provide. Kudos to the pampers changing and ball throwing men out there though.


Hopefully God spares my life for the Kenya trip.

coputa:
What the op stated up there is just an illustration that points to the truth.

Go and do your research, on the mortality rates of Nigerians, males is the highest, expecially father's.

Women are just helpers in the home and not breadwinners.
It was the only
Maybe your mom was the breadwinner in your home

Did your mother sit home doing nothing while waiting for your father to bring money before she can feed? If yes, she makes up a tiny fraction of women who did so.

Women are co-providers and caretakers of the home. Compared that to men who are expected to be co-providers and nothing else. You people destroy your livers with all sorts of alcoholic substances and sex enhancers, whose fault is it that you're dropping like flies?

My mum was a co-provider, so am I and millions of women in this country. Stop making it look as if you're the only ones making sacrifices for the family. If you don't feel up to the task, by all means drop it! It's not today that women have been singlehandedly raising children with the childrens' fathers alive out there somewhere.

Marvyx:
Bro I literally thought about this today. A man dropped dead in the office building I work in. He had 6 children, wasn't up to 45. High blood pressure like we were told.

I honestly don't know what men gain from marriage if they can't even live long enough on earth.

SIX WHOLE CHILDREN..... Na wa oooo. Women, when birthing kids, should be mindful of instances like lack, separation or even divorce.

This food for thought

Instead of thinking deeply about the whole thing ,and determined to change the narration the females on nairaland continue to argue ,as if their is prize to win.

If you claim you love your husband what effort s are you putting in place to help him to reduce all this burden that brings untimely death.

Men should try and marry right ,there are still good women that build with the husband , they are not easy to find ,but we have them.

Trymeee:
The funny thing is most male child see Dad as first hero/role model and often than none, they follow in his footsteps. In sense, this father been undervalued won't stop happening as the next many generation fathers will still be emotionally absent as they will believe it's just their duty to work and provide. Kudos to the pampers changing and ball throwing men out there though.


Hopefully God spares my life for the Kenya trip.

Honestly, guys are beginning to do better. Try sneaking into any PTA meeting or End-of-Year party, you will see the stat is changing. Now it is balanced, unlike before it looked like August meeting. On FB I see many posts of married men dropping home management tips and when you read through, you know they know what they are talking about. My male colleagues post their kids pass we wey be women. There is progress and I cannot deny it.

What I find more concerning is that men who should sympathise with their fathers, are usually the most distant from him.

Amin!

Hmmm. It’s been long I sat and read a whole thread. Very inspiring and educative. Still learning 💯💯💯💯

The earlier men understand that everyone has their lives to live on this earth, the better for us. Any money wey I see now, before I drop for my wife and children, I go go mandillas go buy cloth enter elegunshe beach first go flex. If u like, keel yourself, life go move on.

Celestialsword:
Elumelu's mom is 97years
Otedola's mom is 103years
Jonathan's mom is 88years
Saraki's mom is 99years
Dangote's mom is 90years

Where are their father's, Long gone in most cases.

Food for thought

Treat yourself well, they will survive without you

Why not add Yusuf Buhari and his mother?
Aisha is 54 years old
Buhari died at 82 years.
If Buhari has taken better care of himself,Aisha would have died before him.

See your sense!
Hatred for women making you sound cra.zy

Celestialsword:
men should take care of themselves, because many men struggled and laboured for the family upkeep and they didn't get the rewards

They were stressed up and most of them died before their wives.

When the man has passed on, those he left behind will still survive and become somebody in life.

The Irony of it all ,is that it's the woman that now enjoy the fruits of the man's labour.

So,men should wise up and always take care of themselves, when the load is too heavy, they should please drop it.

Lol ur last line got me laughing ....if e too much drop am ....

Chummynoni:
The earlier men understand that everyone has their lives to live on this earth, the better for us. Any money wey I see now, before I drop for my wife and children, I go go mandillas go buy cloth enter elegunshe beach first go flex. If u like, keel yourself, life go move on.

lol

Gerrard59:
Most men marry women who are much younger than them. No be Nairaland men dey scream marry 18 - 26 year old ladies even when the man is 30+ or 40+?

Statistically, the men would kpeme before the women.

It's 18-24 , actually.
Even when the man is 45 years old.
And they still expect the woman to die before the man.
Talk of witchcraft

Trymeee:
I once posted here some years back when I wanted doing something good for my Dad. I asked mum what daddy likes, mum couldn't even name something precise. I asked his friends and sisters, none could name anything and when I asked my Dad, he said Ahhhh No one cares about that jare ma worry.


I understood the level of weight he carries, unloved, uncared for except with food and very underappreciated. This is a man who sent 8 kids to private university. Both biological, relations and many others. This is a man people will come to for help when they need urgent school fees or so... And no one knew what he loves, not even his wife. (Meanwhile, he's my foster Dad.)

imagine 😔😔🙏

Upto four mothers day celebrations in a year, yet fathers are seldom remembered. Please take care of yourself as a man and be selfish attimes.

Celestialsword:
men should take care of themselves, because many men struggled and laboured for the family upkeep and they didn't get the rewards

They were stressed up and most of them died before their wives.

When the man has passed on, those he left behind will still survive and become somebody in life.

The Irony of it all ,is that it's the woman that now enjoy the fruits of the man's labour.

So,men should wise up and always take care of themselves, when the load is too heavy, they should please drop it.

wouldn't the man still die nonetheless?

highchief1:
biased opinions.pa Edwin Clark died at 97,the other yoruba man afenifere leader or so died at 97 too.some men still outlive their wife’s.okowas father died at 86 while Okowas mom died when she was about 40yrs old or so.

There's always exemption in every assumption.

What most of you guys failed to identify is that. Man should avoid creating unnecessary load for themselves. You are 35 with 5 to 6 kids with earnings that can only take care of 3. No be the man want kill himself like that? You will run from pillar to pillar and kick bucket. And if you run away from your responsibility leaving it for your wife. I pray the wife and children's spirits wouldn't forgive you because you created the unnecessary load in the first instance.

Focusmind:
As a man, if you don't want to take care of yourself, na you sabi. The pressure and demands of the society are already stacked against us. Don't over do yourself all in the name of providing for your children and unborn kids. Be selfish and indulge yourself on things you like, that may likely prolong your life. Spend that money and get yourself quality fruits all the time, eat healthy, exercise, go out solely and enjoy yourself. Slow down and take it easy. If your body is not strong for any hustle, shelve it and regain your mojo and health before anything. Finally, if you don't have the means to cater for a family, don't marry yet, or better, postpone it till you are better prepared, financially. Financial stress and pressures have ruined many young men in their quest to meet up with the demands of the family.

Words of wisdom

pocohantas:
Most men are older than their wives with at least 5yrs. A Nlder of 40yrs was asking if he can marry a 20yrs old lady. Is she supposed to die before him? Also men take on riskier careers and lifestyles. When it comes to health, my mum would rush to the hospital for slight headache, but we have to drag my dad to same hospital.

As for family/financial stress, it ages a man like crazy. I know men who are going through it and everything is their fault. I don't pity them.

Hopefully, young men are learning. If not for Obasanjo Internet, how person for get different perspectives about the current situation of married men in Nigeria?

Honestly, I'm curious, aside having more children than one can adequately take care, what other family/financial stress are these men you know going through? Lots of side chics?

GloriousGbola:
i doubt it

much more likely some small boys raised on andrew tate and suckered by red pill university

I'm curious, when you blame the likes of Andrew Tate, do you also blame the likes of dem Moe and Uloma who were rabid feminazis? Andrew Tate and Co didn't come to light just like that. Something made them popular.

Andrew isn't the cause, but an after effects.

Gerrard59:
Hopefully, young men are learning. If not for Obasanjo Internet, how person for get different perspectives about the current situation of married men in Nigeria?

Honestly, I'm curious, aside having more children than one can adequately take care, what other family/financial stress are these men you know going through? Lots of side chics?

- Black tax, financial expectations from one's family and in-laws.
- Living above your means as a family.
- Non-working wife.

Sidechicks is the least of it as I do not consider MOST Nigerian married men attractive.