₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
She is just doing it for sex and nothing more, also, I think some of our ladies here want to be single ladies so bad and want out of the marriage with the first chance they get.

Yes, she is just doing it for sex. But it will likely cost her her marriage and later leave her in regrets.

Even if the marriage continues, she will face the severe consequences in one way or the other and the RCCG guy will be nowhere to console her.

immortalcrown:
➜Yes, she is just doing it for sex. But it will likely cost her her marriage and later leave her in regrets.
➜ Even if the marriage continues, she will face the severe consequences in one way or the other and the RCCG guy will be nowhere to console her.

Contrary to the many tales you have been fed, many people don't regret leaving or losing a marriage. Rather, what they regret is the time they lost being something they were not—being dishonest with themselves and those around them— and chasing after shadows as a result.

2. This story reveals that this marriage was probably lost a long time ago; it is OK for two humans to grow apart and then leave each other. Marriage no supposed be do or die affair.

Kobojunkie:
Contrary to the many tales you have been fed, many people don't regret leaving or losing a marriage. Rather, what they regret is the time they lost being something they were not—being dishonest with themselves and those around them— and chasing after shadows as a result.

2. This story reveals that this marriage was probably lost a long time ago; it is OK for two humans to grow apart and then leave each other. Marriage no supposed be do or die affair.

I agree with you again, and just realizing this fact.

Nnamdipapa:
➜I agree with you again, and just realizing this fact.

The African approach to marriage.... that brainwashing... is against humanity and sanity. 🙄🙄

Farrason:
She is just waiting for him to make a mistake and she will use it against him.

As of now, she has no offence on him cos he is providing and doing 3 jobs to do so. With his discovery about her search history, it won't be easy for him to let go cos he loves and never expected this but truth is that... She has a ticking bomb waiting to explode on him. She will sending him packing and he will also loose his kids when that bomb goes off.

As of now, he has upper hand based on her cheating but even so, she will claim that she was mentally unstable.

May God see him through and lead him right.

she cheated , it may be a mistake. She should stop that relationship before it consumes her marriage.

Diamond098454:
she cheated , it may be a mistake. She should stop that relationship before it consumes her marriage.

Nope, she's not remorseful and not being apologetic about her actions. Even her family members are backing her up, reason I may have some reservations about inter-tribal marriages. I also believe she is fed up and no longer interested in the marriage.

Nnamdipapa:
Nope, she's not remorseful and not being apologetic about her actions. Even her family members are backing her up, reason I may have some reservations about inter-tribal marriages. I also believe she is fed up and no longer interested in th e marriage.

are you saying this because she's a woman? When it comes to men hope you will still be realistic like this?

Diamond098454:
are you saying this because she's a woman? When it comes to men hope you will still be realistic like this?

I am saying this because it is the fact of the situation. As a guy, I will not blame my wife to her face for my cheating even if her actions indirectly led to the cheating. As much I don't want this to degenerate into gender blames, I find that most women find it very hard to take accountability for their actions looking for someone to blame instead of looking at the mirror.

Nnamdipapa:
➜I am saying this because it is the fact of the situation. As a guy, I will not blame my wife to her face for my cheating even if her actions indirectly led to the cheating. As much I don't want this to degenerate into gender blames, I find that most women find it very hard to take accountability for their actions looking for someone to blame instead of looking at the mirror.

You are the one trying to make this a gender issue since most men who cheat do the exact same thing. How many of our fathers cheated on our mothers only to then blame the women for not being caring enough, beautiful enough, good enough in bed, good cooks, etc.?

Kobojunkie:
You are the one trying to make this a gender issue since most men who cheat do the exact same thing. How many of our fathers cheated on our mothers only to then blame the women for not being caring enough, beautiful enough, good enough in bed, good cooks, etc.?

No, I am not judging from the write up above. Maybe my friend would not be very hurt of she had apologized for the mistake and pledge to a better commitment to the marriage instead of outrightly blaming the husband.

Nnamdipapa:
➜No, I am not judging from the write up above.
➜ Maybe my friend would not be very hurt of she had apologized for the mistake and pledge to a better commitment to the marriage instead of outrightly blaming the husband.

Most men and women who cheat do not apologize! Gender and tribe have absolutely nothing to do with this.

2. Also, many of those who apologize end up repeat offenders. So, does getting an apology after cheating make the fact that the marriage has been fractured at its core somehow go away? I don't think so. I wholly believe that a marriage ends the moment one spouse cheats; a divorce should follow immediately after that. If, after individual counseling and serious reflection, the two decide to give the relationship a try again, fine.

Kobojunkie:
Most men and women who cheat do not apologize! Gender and tribe have absolutely nothing to do with this.

2. Also, many of those who apologize end up repeat offenders. So, does getting an apology after cheating make the fact that the marriage has been fractured at its core somehow go away? I don't think so. I wholly believe that a marriage ends the moment one spouse cheats; a divorce should follow immediately after that. If, after individual counseling and serious reflection, the two decide to give the relationship a try again, fine.

At least an apology, whether sincere or not, is still required when caught. You add salt to an injury by turning around to blame the victim.

Nnamdipapa:
➜At least an apology, whether sincere or not, is still required when caught. You add salt to an injury by turning around to blame the victim.

Well, your friend would need to seek closure in some other way.

Kobojunkie:
Well, your friend would need to seek closure in some other way.

He will only take the counseling of his pastor or father in the lord. Lets hope he is given the right advice instead of being asked to pray about the situation

Its John's fault, as a man you must decern. What do I mean by that. As a man in the spirit, it shouldn't take you more than 3 years to decipher if the energy in a location is a home breaker or not. If you move with your family to any location that is energetically low, you will lose your marriage and there will be no logical reason for that. Some estates in this Lagos also have that energy. As soon as you move in you will no longer understand your wife again.

EkoErrands:
Its John's fault, as a man you must decern. What do I mean by that. As a man in the spirit, it shouldn't take you more than 3 years to decipher if the energy in a location is a home breaker or not. If you move with your family to any location that is energetically low, you will lose your marriage and there will be no logical reason for that. Some estates in this Lagos also have that energy. As soon as you move in you will no longer understand your wife again.

Oh my God! I really am at a loss for words.

EkoErrands:
➜Its John's fault, as a man you must decern. What do I mean by that. As a man in the spirit, it shouldn't take you more than 3 years to decipher if the energy in a location is a home breaker or not. If you move with your family to any location that is energetically low, you will lose your marriage and there will be no logical reason for that. Some estates in this Lagos also have that energy. As soon as you move in you will no longer understand your wife again.

This here is all in a bid to remain in denial of reality ooo!

Kobojunkie:
This here is all in a bid to remain in denial of reality ooo!

He has failed to identify what "to discern" means in this context.

Kobojunkie:
This here is all in a bid to remain in denial of reality ooo!

Reality is only one dimension, when you see other dimensions you will understand.

EkoErrands:
➜Reality is only one dimension, when you see other dimensions you will understand.

Huh? Is reality one-dimensional? Are you sure you know what you are talking about there? 😐😐😐😐

He's working three jobs and doing school as well, all to provide for her and their kids, pay all the bills and ensure they've a roof over their heads, while she's out warming another man's bed? If anyone's depressed, it should be him, not her. That's a lot of responsibility on one person but he's being a man by making sure he's not slacking, but her thank you to him is to be sleeping with another man. Her reason for sleeping with another man doesn't make sense either because you said in your post because anytime he tried to make love to her she would reject him, so she's the one at fault there, not him. If it's him rejecting her, it would be a different story but it's her rejecting him. As for the divorce, he should get a good Lawyer and proceed. Adultery is a legal ground for divorce, and along with what he found on her phone with regards to implicating him, he has a winning case. He has nothing to worry about with regards to his case, as he'll win. He'll unfortunately have to be paying her child support, unless he claims full custody of the kids.

Does he also attend the same Church? He should go on one Sunday and call her out and call out the man she has been sleeping with.

NotOfThisWorld:
➜Does he also attend the same Church? He should call her out and call out the man she has been sleeping with

. For what purpose?

Three kids under five, antidepressants and the woman still has energy to be sleeping with a man she met in the church? Story.

Maeve7:
Three kids under five, antidepressants and the woman still has energy to be sleeping with a man she met in the church? Story.

I believe she might be lying or acting up with the depression angle because she had to leave her job and stay at home full time as a result. That's what I told the husband though.

Nnamdipapa:
I believe she might be lying or acting up with the depression angle because she had to leave her job and stay at home full time as a result. That's what I told the husband though.

Then there is still three kids under five. How do you have energy to cheat after three pregnancies and with toddlers around the house?

I don’t buy.

Maeve7:
➜Then there is still three kids under five. How do you have energy to cheat after three pregnancies and with toddlers around the house? I don’t buy.

It's quite possible. Not all people who are mothering —and fathering — should. With 3 kids, all of them 5 and below, I can see where depression could easily come from.

Maeve7:
Then there is still three kids under five. How do you have energy to cheat after three pregnancies and with toddlers around the house?

I don’t buy.

Her mom, brothers and sisters are here while the husband is alone. I am not trying to persuade you I am just relaying what the husband narrated to be.

Why is John crying over spoiled milk,he should divorce her ASAP

Baronthecelebri:
Why is John crying over spoiled milk,he should divorce her ASAP

Not that easy, there are kids invoand that wîll lead ro who assumes the custody.

Nnamdipapa:
Not that easy, there are kids invoand that wîll lead ro who assumes the custody.

I'm curious, how is it going now?

Lorayne:
I'm curious, how is it going now?

Still going, he is going through counseling a d I have not had the to meet up with him. The marriage is basically over at this point.

Sometimes, one has to behave like the Romans once in Rome.

An unrepentant cheating wife + family support + weird search history is a good recipe for disaster especially in the West.

He should lawyer up and get a divorce ASAP.