₦airaland Forum

My wife has been away for a period of 8 months, all in the name of she wants to stay in her hometown and be doing business which I don't even buy the idea in the first place, but despite all my efforts to stop her everything proves abortive.

She came back two weeks ago, and since then I haven't developed any feelings for her, we're just living like roommates, she has done everything to turn me on yet still my body no gree move, I tried to have sex this morning with her and the whole thing just turns out to be embarrassment,as in my manhood just get cold and freezen.

Please note before, before I always get early morning erection strong and hard, but when it comes to my wife, my body system will just collapse instantly.

Since you can no longer perform your conjugal duties as a man, then free that woman to enjoy other men.

Samantha125:
Since you can no longer perform your conjugal duties as a man, then free that woman to enjoy other men.

She has been enjoying other men, you don't need a prophet to tell you this

Dear Op.... Sorry to say this but your wife has been away for 8 months, there's a possibility that some village man have been shining her congo, (body no be firewood and 8 months is a long time).
She might be pregnant outside and justs wants you to knack her so she can pin the pregnancy on you .
My advice is not to do anything, your d!ck not rising might actually be a good thing for you.

Samantha125:
Since you can no longer perform your conjugal duties as a man, then free that woman to enjoy other men.

na so una dey do for una side?

I don't understand... You know some of us we are not good in pidgin.

AllBlack:
na so una dey do for una side?

Samantha125:
I don't understand... You know some of us we are not good in pidgin.

I actually did that on purpose so that you will know that this is Nigeria and not South Africa where women just switch sides over a "temporary incontinence" that can be treated in a lot of ways.

and by the way, wetin do wey you nova sabi yan like us? abi you no wan learn pidgin?

uwuana:
My wife has been away for a period of 8 months, all in the name of she wants to stay in her hometown and be doing business which I don't even buy the idea in the first place, but despite all my efforts to stop her everything proves abortive.
She came back two weeks ago, and since then I haven't developed any feelings for her, we're just living like roommates, she has done everything to turn me on yet still my body no gree move, I tried to have sex this morning with her and the whole thing just turns out to be embarrassment,as in my manhood just get cold and freezen.
Please note before, before I always get early morning erection strong and hard, but when it comes to my wife, my body system will just collapse instantly.

Your God want to save you from danger.

Take her for pregnancy, hiv and std/sti tests asap.

Do this and come back here to give your testimony.

You don't have feelings for her anymore.

Samantha125:
Since you can no longer perform your conjugal duties as a man, then free that woman to enjoy other men.

lemme just assume you mistakenly typed this with sleepy eyes . Cuz what da hell is the meaning of this bullsh*t you just wrote ? . Someone whose wife insisted on moving to her hometown despite all his persuasion for her to stay with him,yet you still found your regular manipulative way to put the blame on the head of the innocent man .

uwuana:
My wife has been away for a period of 8 months, all in the name of she wants to stay in her hometown and be doing business which I don't even buy the idea in the first place, but despite all my efforts to stop her everything proves abortive.
She came back two weeks ago, and since then I haven't developed any feelings for her, we're just living like roommates, she has done everything to turn me on yet still my body no gree move, I tried to have sex this morning with her and the whole thing just turns out to be embarrassment,as in my manhood just get cold and freezen.
Please note before, before I always get early morning erection strong and hard, but when it comes to my wife, my body system will just collapse instantly.

Mine is the other way round. I use to be abusive to her, slap her sometimes which I'm not proud of. This led to our separation although she came back she finds it hard for intimacy stating the trauma is her problem

A man is suppose to get an early morning erection .
That is the norm.
And that erection is the third after one or two erection when asleep .
Maybe it is not about your wife .
Bro , you gat go check your self.

AfahaAbia:
Mine is the other way round. I use to be abusive to her, slap her sometimes which I'm not proud of. This led to our separation although she came back she finds it hard for intimacy stating the trauma is her problem

There's a book I'll recommend and please take reading it VERY seriously:

Stormie Omartian "Power Of A Praying Husband".

Read it, Pray every single prayer at the end of each chapter. Open your Bible and start studying Scripture on Forgiveness and Love. The Bible is a book about Love. Ask God to show you your wife's heart the way He sees it. She's shut down emotionally from you.

Then you need to work on your anger and need to resort to violence. Love means submission and Apostle Paul tells us to submit to each other. So you need to find out who you are in Christ Jesus (because change is very hard and we don't want you resorting to violence ever again).

I'm glad you regret it, next step is repentance.

When you get home, phone should be on silent or vibrate, you sit with your woman and do whatever she's doing. Gist with her. If she says she wants to eat grilled fish, don't buy it and bring home, tell her to go make herself pretty because you want to take her out.

Treat her like a fresh new bride, because your old marriage NEEDS to die. It wasn't a good one.

When you feel the anger and impatience rising (violence is the last resort of a weak man), you walk away and turn to prayer. Then come back calmly. She needs to give you Respect, not Fear. A lot of men think they're the same, they're not: Respect is rooted in Love, Fear thrives in Hate. And Fear means she will be waiting for the right time to strike you back, one day. So make her love and respect you, slapping her around breeds her fear.

Tell yourself "she is mine, my church and I will love her like Christ loved the church". That means when she's getting on your last nerve, you tell yourself and her "I love you, I'm not going to let the devil use me to destroy my blessing. You're my blessing!". Keep saying it till you believe it.

It will take time and patience, which is good training for you to learn how not to resort to quick anger and violence.

The intimacy will come back. Better than before sef, you won't have time for us on Nairaland

Brother, you're going to make your wife fall in love with you again. Doable and possible, the love will even be sweeter. Commit it to God and come back with your testimony.

PS: today, go and buy her lunch or dinner (fried rice and turkey, with salad and dodo ), get a scrap of paper and write "Songs of Solomon 1:15", put it on the food. Drop it beside her, don't say anything.

Another day,when she's done bathing and is dressing up, creaming her body, make sure you're in the room always. But act like you're not looking. Then send her Songs Of Solomon 7:1-9 after she's done dressing. So she knows you were admiring her nekkidness to the point that you needed to go and read Bible

You'll be messing with her small small, working on yourself, showing her you're a better man now, who's completely in love with her.

It'll work.

Samantha125:
Since you can no longer perform your conjugal duties as a man, then free that woman to enjoy other men.

if you were a man i would have under your motive,... how you wan take benefit

Onegai:
There's a book I'll recommend and please take reading it VERY seriously:

Stormie Omartian "Power Of A Praying Husband".

Read it, Pray every single prayer at the end of each chapter. Open your Bible and start studying Scripture on Forgiveness and Love. The Bible is a book about Love. Ask God to show you your wife's heart the way He sees it. She's shut down emotionally from you.

Then you need to work on your anger and need to resort to violence. Love means submission and Apostle Paul tells us to submit to each other. So you need to find out who you are in Christ Jesus (because change is very hard and we don't want you resorting to violence ever again).

I'm glad you regret it, next step is repentance.

When you get home, phone should be on silent or vibrate, you sit with your woman and do whatever she's doing. Gist with her. If she says she wants to eat grilled fish, don't buy it and bring home, tell her to go make herself pretty because you want to take her out.

Treat her like a fresh new bride, because your old marriage NEEDS to die. It wasn't a good one.

When you feel the anger and impatience rising (violence is the last resort of a weak man), you walk away and turn to prayer. Then come back calmly. She needs to give you Respect, not Fear. A lot of men think they're the same, they're not: Respect is rooted in Love, Fear thrives in Hate. And Fear means she will be waiting for the right time to strike you back, one day. So make her love and respect you, slapping her around breeds her fear.

Tell yourself "she is mine, my church and I will love her like Christ loved the church". That means when she's getting on your last nerve, you tell yourself and her "I love you, I'm not going to let the devil use me to destroy my blessing. You're my blessing!". Keep saying it till you believe it.

It will take time and patience, which is good training for you to learn how not to resort to quick anger and violence.

The intimacy will come back. Better than before sef, you won't have time for us on Nairaland

Brother, you're going to make your wife fall in love with you again. Doable and possible, the love will even be sweeter. Commit it to God and come back with your testimony.

Thank you so very much for this advice. Seriously I have never been touched by words of advice like this. I'm amazed! Before now I have been thinking of seeing a therapist or something. I will do exactly as you have said. Thank you!

Ke tla go keketa wa swaba.

AllBlack:
I actually did that on purpose so that you will know that this is Nigeria and not South Africa where women just switch sides over a "temporary incontinence" that can be treated in a lot of ways.

and by the way, wetin do wey you nova sabi yan like us? abi you no wan learn pidgin?

AfahaAbia:
Thank you so very much for this advice. Seriously I have never been touched by words of advice like this. I'm amazed! Before now I have been thinking of seeing a therapist or something. I will do exactly as you have said. Thank you!

Submission is easy when you know the man you're submitting to loves you and has your best interest at heart. And it's hard to submit and it's hard to love another like Christ loved the church.

But God is a God of love and romance , he even made our bodies to enjoy pleasure. So you need Him to help you

PS: today, go and buy her lunch or dinner (fried rice and turkey, with salad and dodo smiley), get a scrap of paper and write "Songs of Solomon 1:15", put it on the food. Drop it beside her, don't say anything.

Another day,when she's done bathing and is dressing up, creaming her body, make sure you're in the room always. But act like you're not looking. Then send her Songs Of Solomon 7:1-9 after she's done dressing. So she knows you were admiring her nekkidness to the point that you needed to go and read Bible

You'll be messing with her small small, working on yourself, showing her you're a better man now, who's completely in love with her.

It'll work.

You want her to remember the smile in her heart again.

Sonny Sonny, how's job hunting going? You know my family in the village are currently looking for a herdsman to herd their livestock, let me know if you're interested...

Sonnobax15:
lemme just assume you mistakenly typed this with sleepy eyes . Cuz what da hell is the meaning of this bullsh*t you just wrote ? . Someone whose wife insisting on moving to her hometown despite all his persuasion for her to stay with him,yet you still found your regular manipulative way to put the blame on the head of the innocent man .

Samantha125:
Ke tla go keketa wa swaba.

shey you sabi say no una lingo no cost shi shi to translate sha. 😜

Samantha125:
Sonny Sonny, how's job hunting going? You know my family in the village are currently looking for a herdsman to herd their livestock, let me know if you're interested...

. You just proved to me how an average south African werey thinks about every Nigerian . Well,I'm doing fine business-wise and I won't mind employing you as family janitor if you don't mind . Please don't say NO to this kind offer and gesture of mine,even though I know you will ,cuz we all know how lazy you south Africans are, naturally

uwuana:
My wife has been away for a period of 8 months, all in the name of she wants to stay in her hometown and be doing business which I don't even buy the idea in the first place, but despite all my efforts to stop her everything proves abortive.
She came back two weeks ago, and since then I haven't developed any feelings for her, we're just living like roommates, she has done everything to turn me on yet still my body no gree move, I tried to have sex this morning with her and the whole thing just turns out to be embarrassment,as in my manhood just get cold and freezen.
Please note before, before I always get early morning erection strong and hard, but when it comes to my wife, my body system will just collapse instantly.

No, I'm not going to ask you to go and check if it works elsewhere

What I will ask is, how's your health these days? Morning wood is a sign that most parts of the body are working. So if you're losing that, better go see a Dr.

Now, for your wife, let's look up some intimacy. What have you been doing to rebuild that?

Okay, bye.

AllBlack:
shey you sabi say no una lingo no cost shi shi to translate sha. 😜

Samantha125:
Okay, bye.

I keep wondering what you are doing in our space and interfere on issues that have nothing to do with south africa, perhaps you guys don't even have forum of your own

Onegai:
Submission is easy when you know the man you're submitting to loves you and has your best interest at heart. And it's hard to submit and it's hard to love another like Christ loved the church.

But God is a God of love and romance , he even made our bodies to enjoy pleasure. So you need Him to help you

PS: today, go and buy her lunch or dinner (fried rice and turkey, with salad and dodo smiley), get a scrap of paper and write "Songs of Solomon 1:15", put it on the food. Drop it beside her, don't say anything.

Another day,when she's done bathing and is dressing up, creaming her body, make sure you're in the room always. But act like you're not looking. Then send her Songs Of Solomon 7:1-9 after she's done dressing. So she knows you were admiring her nekkidness to the point that you needed to go and read Bible

You'll be messing with her small small, working on yourself, showing her you're a better man now, who's completely in love with her.

It'll work.

You want her to remember the smile in her heart again.

This really cracked me up

Ok.

donmixc:
I keep wondering what you are doing in our space and interfere on issues that have nothing to do with south africa, perhaps you guys don't even have forum of your own

Samantha125:
Ok.

don't ok me. just leave this forum

Ok...

donmixc:
don't ok me. just leave this forum

Medically I belief nothing wrong with you but Its still not normal (spiritually).
Just don't try to force yourself to it, infact I'll advise you to abstain from this for a while irrespective of urge from either you or her.

Samantha125:
Sonny Sonny, how's job hunting going? You know my family in the village are currently looking for a herdsman to herd their livestock, let me know if you're interested...

Wetin this wayray dey yearn sef??

Were you having morning erections when she was away for 8 months

Please note before, before I always get early morning erection strong and hard, but when it comes to my wife, my body system will just collapse instantly.

I also think there's something missing in your story because you said you didn't want her to go but she still left, maybe you are mentally angry with her or your manhoood still doesn't like what happened