₦airaland Forum

You invited this game. I bet you didn't anticipate the political side. Women can be ruthless politicians. You can't win this. You peace at home is shattered, you've made an innocent child a combatant.

I must confess your lady is playing the game well and winning. Ofcourse she will always win. This is a zero sum game you invited. You lacked tact. I refuse to gift you expo. Learn your lessons.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

You're an Anambla man, right? And your wife is one of them Facebook feminists, right?

Please confirm theses before I reply .

Oga your wife is just being petty and jealous ..so far your son is not being denied parental care and affection. She has no case. If she needs a helper, she should employ a domestic staff if you can afford it . Do not maltreat that innocent girl because you want to make your wife happy .she did not beg you to bring her to your house , you choose to do that, so please finish what you started.

Israel5:
She's almost 12 now.

What have you concluded? The jury is unanimous in their decision; The little girl should get the same chance at life as your son gets. You are the judge and have the final judgment. But the day you stand before God is still ahead of you.

Follow Ur mind but remember "What goes around comes around

MarkNsukkaBread:
Meaning?

she has a hatred for your niece but nevertheless for peace to reign talk her into making concessions.
You change the girl school but she only helps her in light chores.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

This happened in our household. My youngest sister is adopted. She cane to livevwuth us as a Child and over time my Dad adopted her. In fact my mum resisted the legal name change. Today for us siblings she is no different than us blood and has every right we have. My mother also fought her attending the same school as my younger brother. My dad stood firm and ensured there was no disparity. Leave women.
Be a man and do the right

I was going to comment, but I said let me first see what Nairalanders will say. You people have done me proud for once.


As an aside, I will comment that one of the worst things you can do to a child is to bring them into this world knowing you are a poor Nigerian.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Ur wife is gonna be the evil step mum u hear and watch in movies.

Lets wait n see, the girl will start talking less n b scared when shes around.

I think you married the wrong woman
A lot of women are evil especial towards another woman's child
only few good ones

Infact I think your wife is wicked 😏😏 send that little lovely girl back to her parents or get a house help
Don't listen to that woman please
BE A MAN

Patients, Wisdom , May God Lead you . Patients, Wisdom , May God Lead you .

All I smell and sense is wickedness and a weak man . Are you Yoruba ? Na Yoruba man dey always do whatever my wife says.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

brain54:
Lol at your son running away from the top...

He is still a young lad. He would probably do better and catch up as he gets older.

The girl at 7 is too young to start assisting madam. If she was her daughter would she allow her withdraw or change schools to assist with home responsibilities or assistance with home affairs? Your boy is just a year younger o.

Pls continue to treat the girl fairly and as you would your biological daughter as you have done so far.


If you have the means or capability you can consider getting an Older helper to assist with the assistance madam needs.


Forget women...do what is right. It's even weird to be considering a 7 year old house assistant in the first place. That's child labor.

It's a pity things aren't working in Nigeria. Allow the girl enjoy her childhood in peace and with love.

God bless you!

May your wisdom continue to increase.

jelousy dey worry ur wife, if not which help that little girl can rendered at that age, kk, change both of them so that they can both help her. you better return the girl before ur wife kpai her

Dear Op,

Let me use my own experience to answer your question.

I didn't grow up with my parents as my dad had passed on when I was two. I learn lots of lessons with the people I live with, they are my family but I see hell in the hand's of those people's wife.

A woman will never want a family member from her husband side to lived with them except for some benefits to her alone. It's very common in women to be sending other people's children errands even if it's dangerous than their own children.

If she needs someone to be assisting her, tell her to bring one of her younger sister to assist. Believe me your wife does not have good intention towards that kid and that's the reason why your boy is not excelling.

You brought that girl child from the village. If you can't protect and stand for her then send her back to her parents. Your wife has started with the typical women's plot.... They are always plotting and calculating o e thing or the other... I see that she is about to convert that girl to a house help and will soon start maltreating her which will cause big issues between you and her later.

It's either you stand your grounds now or send the girl back to her parents....

brain54:
Lol at your son running away from the top...

He is still a young lad. He would probably do better and catch up as he gets older.

The girl at 7 is too young to start assisting madam. If she was her daughter would she allow her withdraw or change schools to assist with home responsibilities or assistance with home affairs? Your boy is just a year younger o.

Pls continue to treat the girl fairly and as you would your biological daughter as you have done so far.


If you have the means or capability you can consider getting an Older helper to assist with the assistance madam needs.


Forget women...do what is right. It's even weird to be considering a 7 year old house assistant in the first place. That's child labor.

It's a pity things aren't working in Nigeria. Allow the girl enjoy her childhood in peace and with love.

God bless you!

You are kind hearted.

I would say that you should send the girl back to her Parents. Then assist in any way you can assist financially for her Education. Let them also contribute in bringing up their own Daughter. It is a harsh decision but it is also good for your own Home.

As for my Madam, let her look for an Older person to assist her if she so wishes.

I remember back then when my kids were younger (5, 4 and 1) Wifey insisted I get an house help and my conditions were

1. He or she must attend the School our kids attend.
2. They will share in house chores (She didn't object to this but objected to No. 1 citing the Financial implications)

So, we dropped the idea of an house help. Today they are now 21, 20 and 16.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

She's wrong and please don't allow that your wife prevail over you on this. Jealousy is starting to creep in. If it gets too much, send that pikin back to her parents and you can still pay her fees from wherever you are. Do not allow your wife to do what's in her mind because she doesn't have anything good for that girl as she's sensing the girl is gradually taking over your sons place in your life. Be smart ooh no allow this one before you go regret am.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

The real question is if she were her daughter, would she have suggested changing school from private (considering her academic prowess) to a govt school so that she could come back home and assist her.

Pls send the girl back to the village just to protect her from your wife. You can still assist her financially while in the village.

KIDfurniture:
All I smell and sense is wickedness and a weak man . Are you Yoruba ? Na Yoruba man dey always do whatever my wife says.

every thing tribalism, which kind human una be?

Pleassse sir, don’t do this. I have seen this sort of things too many times in nolly wood movies. For a start, for a girl of that age to live with you, it means the parents are not so well to do, did you get the young girl to help her out or to use her as a part time house help(miss me with, we are both helping each other), if your wife had a daughter as the first child, will she agree that the daughter be withdrawn to government school inorder to also help her out?

That young girl is marked for greatness, God is using to help her, don’t let your wife’s manipulation, soft hatred deter you. Do you know the story of Kat stark, John snow and Robb Stark?

Brutally uncomfortable summary:

Your wife is a wicked soul. They don't come with horns on their foreheads so they always have very sweet side. Can you change her with voice of reason? Maybe.

Would her logic on helping hands still hold if that brilliant girl were her own daughter? Try your best to make her see your niece as her own daughter. Your children in this world are not limited to your biological ones.

I have a child completing her MSc now after a first class degree. We are not biologically related! She is a true source of joy with her character and achievements. Life is too short for all these myopic selfishness .

Why do women generally find it hard to love the child of another woman as they would love their own child.

I guess you are Igbo and your wife is Igbo.
Igbo women are known for this, maltreating maid or their relatives children.
Watch out for her if you implement her suggestions, the girl will suffer

pocohantas:
Yes. Her parents are culpable.
Now the girl has to exchange labour for her primary/secondary education. By the time she grows, she just might exchange something else.

funniest thing is, if they seek the parent's consent. They might oblige. Her fate might be worse off with them in the village. It's just the sad reality.

Samantha125:
I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

why cant u be just for once in your life? everytime u will take women side

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

I read your story and am eager respond, let me tell you Sir, no matter what you or your wife do to that girl.....she will be great in the future. My advice for you is to not differentiate her from your biological children, one day you will grow older and children never forget. As for your wife , am totally disappointed in her.

Let me tell you my sister story. My senior sister went to stay with a Bishop in ogun state , my uncle ,after secondary school education, she did well but the pastor and wife said she will go to college of education instead of University because her parents couldn't, but they were doing well, all 4 children went to university.They virtually converted her to house girl because she goes to school daily.

Fast forward, my sister finished and could only get a receptionist job , those who went to university finished with useless grades.

Fast forward again, in her receptionist job she still work hard and that is how she meet a struggling guy to I'm the same company that was then writing his ICAN and staying in one room.

They married and the guy got a fantastic job , few years later they moved to Canada since 2005.

Last year the Bishop died and we went for the burial, all the so called children are miserable, my sister singlehandedly sponsor the burial rites ....the old widow was ashamed and shedding tears.

That is life o....my brother

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

your wife want to ruin the girls life so she won't b better than your son.

See ehn, if they can't b going to the same school then send her back to her parents cos it's unfair for u to send her to a public school n later when she gets ruined u start blaming village people on her case.

Your wife will ruin u to make useless decisions if u continue like this, one thing I can bet with u is that if u continue that way that your boy will turn out bad.......u don't need to like my reply but that's d reality

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Bros you might regret it if you follow your wife's decision at night time n your son will pay too for your decision.
If she is indeed your daughter as you prefer, would she ask you to change school just so she will be helping her? Nature will favour your family in the long run if you are fair even if it doesn't feel so now.

Get her house help that comes and goes after working.

If you do what she asked, she will ask for more. You need to let her know where she stands on such issues so she could adjust.

Samantha125:
I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

the wife just want to ruin the girl but the husband is not sensible to see that