₦airaland Forum

gabbasin:
A father is a father either the child is fathered outside wedlock or not, having lawful custody of a child by the father depends on so many factors.

What are the deciding factors?

Please list some of them

Kobojunkie:
Why not include a image referencing the actual record and section of the law where these ideas are recorded?

Try dey read finish.... E get why


Life dey difficult for those wey dey take correction.

Let alone those that don't

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
I'm a victim currently, one Igbo girl from Enugu got pregnant for me, I spent a lot on her till she gave birth job carry me from my location to another town on the nine months she suppose to deliver, I sent her money for hospital bill, and also for upkeep, this lady delivered successfully and disappeared with my baby, she blocked my line, if I use a new number to call her, she will block that too

She dey vex because you no gree marry am

Good morning Ebele. I follow your posts closely.
There's this particular incident where a man with two wives raped a 12 year old girl. The girl got pregnant and gave birth to twins. One died. The man is in custody waiting for sentencing.
Now the girls father wants the baby adopted out. He has found a childless woman who has already taken the baby. The girls father
will be signing the adoption papers next week.

The girls father wants to have nothing to do with the baby and he also doesn't want his daughter to. That's why they are giving the child away.

My question is, considering that the mother is a minor, can any papers signed by her father be considered valid? If the rapist somehow escapes sentencing and is freed, can he make claims for the child? The baby is currently 6 weeks old and his mom just clocked 13 last month.
I'll appreciate your take please. Thank you.

MarkNsukkaBread:
She dey vex because you no gree marry am

is that the reason why she disappeared with the baby? Isn't that criminal offence? I've reported her to police and several agencies in charge of such case, If I eventually catch her, she will regret her actions

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

Y must u run straight to Igbo people.


Are Igbo the only people in Nigeria with their own language and tradition?

ARISHEM:
What if the woman now marries and convinced the new husband that the child is his, like a paternity fraud. And after like 2 years or more the original father changed his mind and say he wants the child or children back that he was the one that impregnated or impregnating the woman and not her husband.
And the husband don’t want divorce his wife as a result

Once DNA proves you are the father then the court will do the needful , paternity comes first unless the child is adopted legally.

ARISHEM:
What if the woman now marries and convinced the new husband that the child is his, like a paternity fraud. And after like 2 years or more the original father changed his mind and say he wants the child or children back that he was the one that impregnated or impregnating the woman and not her husband.
And the husband don’t want divorce his wife as a result

Once DNA proves you are the father then the court will do the needful , paternity comes first unless the child is adopted legally..

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

SEE THE WAY U ARE POSTING ANOTHER PEOPLE TRIBE LIKE SAY U NO GET YOUR OWN.

A man got a girl pregnant while in University
He denied and also abandoned the child.
A male child.
Years later, he became a Pastor and got married.
If the wife gets pregnant and it's a girl, she would give birth
If the wife gets pregnant and it's a boy, she would miscarry.
This kept on happening for years.
Miscarriage upon miscarriage.
This time they had just 2 girls.
The pregnancies they were having were boys so the wife will miscarry for no reason.

Inlaws were already suspecting her and calling her names that she can't produce a male child.
The wife started praying to God for revelation.
Then word of revelation came that her problem in life was from her husband.
The revelation showed her how her husband when he was young publicly denied an innocent baby boy.
The family of the girl now gathered round and placed him on a curse that he will never see the cry of a male child.

She woke up and confronted the husband.
He tried denying it but later confessed.

They both now went in search of the baby boy.

It was a long search for months and months. It took years until they found the mother of the girl.
The mother and the girl were both struggling to cater for the boy.
They were shocked to see him.
The man apologized and asked for forgiveness from the family.
It took a long while for them to accept due to the pain and bitterness they felt after all those years.
They agreed after a long while
Then they showed him the boy who has now grown up to be a young teenager about to enter University.

After a month.
The man's wife got pregnant again and gave birth to a baby boy.
The boy turned out to be my childhood friend and schoolmate.

Thank God the mercy of God found them

And most importantly, thank God for the Spirit of REVELATION
Without revelation, the people perish.

Wives better be prayerful, sometimes ur problem in marriage is from ur husband and vice versa. You both don't know how you lived your past life. There is nothing like I'm now a born again so my evil is gone. I laugh in multiple languages.

As for men, So if u like, give birth out of wedlock and don't contribute to the welfare of the out of wedlock child.
Leave it all for the mother because u be odogwu. Your evil works go wait for u for front.

Brilliancepower:
I have been taking care of my child from 1 year 4 months when his mother abandoned to now that he is going to 6years old.. What fucken law are you talking about?

You mean you ditched your baby and suddenly feel like you shouldn't, if that is the case, it is what the mother of your child like that she will do. Bleep the law!

It's your responsibility to take her to court and force her to do her motherly duties including paying child support to you and to support the child emotionally. If she decides to activate her rights to the child if you refuse she can take the matter to court and the court will force you to allow her do her motherly duties although in this circumstances no court will give her custody unless you are abusive to the child. She will be allowed visitations.

When a parent to a child goes rogue it's the duty of the other to bring the partner back in line by approaching the courts once you refuse doing this you can't stop the other party from coming back any time they want if they take the matter legally.

I have 4 kids with a Benin Republic woman , before I traveled out of Africa. Though we are not married, but there is this mutual understanding and strong bond between me and the kids. I have been taking care of their education and general well being, even if it is very expensive there compared to Nigeria. But I feel they are safer in Cotonou than in Nigeria. I always go to pick them whenever I am on vacation in Nigeria, and there has been no resistance whatsoever from their maternal side. For me , kids are precious gifts and shouldn't get caught up in the issues between their parents. Custody to me is not a big issue. Cordial relationship and living up to your responsibilities is key. I believe with time the kids will decide on their own when they come of age. The eldest is now 19 and in her second year. The rest are 16. 14 .11. 2 boys 2 girls.

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby ....if not child remains with the girl's family

Which one is girls family again. That is the beginning of losing your case. It's either in the custody of the wife or husband nothing like family.

eagleonearth:
He can't unless the child decides to run after him when he/she comes of age.

He can legally own those kids if and only if he pays their mother's dowry.

The law upholds this fact. It is customary.

That was the provisor she missed out. The man must perform some customary rights before claiming the child. Eg. Payment of bride price or performance of other customary rights in accordance with the customs of the
woman.

He should’ve used a condom or abstained now he gets to be a responsible adult by Co-parenting due to his poor sexual choices

NiceLegs:
A man got a girl pregnant while in University
He denied and also abandoned the child.
A male child.
Years later, he became a Pastor and got married.
If the wife gets pregnant and it's a girl, she would give birth
If the wife gets pregnant and it's a boy, she would miscarry.
This kept on happening for years.
Miscarriage upon miscarriage.
This time they had just 2 girls.
The pregnancies they were having were boys so the wife will miscarry for no reason.

Inlaws were already suspecting her and calling her names that she can't produce a male child.
The wife started praying to God for revelation.
Then word of revelation came that her problem in life was from her husband.
The revelation showed her how her husband when he was young publicly denied an innocent baby boy.
The family of the girl now gathered round and placed him on a curse that he will never see the cry of a male child.

She woke up and confronted the husband.
He tried denying it but later confessed.

They both now went in search of the baby boy.

It was a long search for months and months. It took years until they found the mother of the girl.
The mother and the girl were both struggling to cater for the boy.
They were shocked to see him.
The man apologized and asked for forgiveness from the family.
It took a long while for them to accept due to the pain and bitterness they felt after all those years.
They agreed after a long while
Then they showed him the boy who has now grown up to be a young teenager about to enter University.

After a month.
The man's wife got pregnant again and gave birth to a baby boy.
The boy turned out to be my childhood friend and schoolmate.

Thank God the mercy of God found them

And most importantly, thank God for the Spirit of REVELATION
Without revelation, the people perish.

Wives better be prayerful, sometimes ur problem in marriage is from ur husband and vice versa. You both don't know how you lived your past life. There is nothing like I'm now a born again so my evil is gone. I laugh in multiple languages.

As for men, So if u like, give birth out of wedlock and don't contribute to the welfare of the out of wedlock child.
Leave it all for the mother because u be odogwu. Your evil works go wait for u for front.

Everybody needs to learn from this story.

This life is deep.

He became a Pastor yet he still paid the price of his evil.

Hmmm...

This reminds me of my cousin
A boy impregnated her..
He abandoned her to cater for the child alone.
It's 4 years now.
Poor little girl is suffering and struggling to provide for the child in this hard times.

I will send this story to the mother.

Maybe they will use this format.

That guy must pay for the evil he has done in future.

Kobojunkie:
Why not include a image referencing the actual record and section of the law where these ideas are recorded?

The OP cited a landmark case law where the Court of Appeal made the pronouncement. That forms part of our laws and all lower courts must apply it as it is. Laws are not only recorded in statutes. The court's pronouncements(case law) forms part of law too

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

In Igbo tradition a child born out of wedlock belongs to the father of the girl but right of ownership is given to the biological father after he fulfills certain traditional rites to the 'Umunna' for recognition even if he doesn't marry the mother of the child which could be in form of providing Kolanuts, drinks, goat, tubers of yams, some amount of money spent for his upkeep etc different communities have their own requirements.

If the 'impregnator' or his family doesn't perform these rites the child could be given to the man who later marries the girl and he will be recognised as the father of the child after he fulfills certain traditional rites as required.
Igbo tradition is also flexible

Yes, if the mother isn't favourable condition like taking drug, sick, death or one bad habit. If not I'm not sure

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby ....if not child remains with the girl's family...I don't see a responsible man that will casually have sex with someone he doesn't love and still give her belle ....if u are capable and responsible then choose a wife ,marry her properly and rise a family with her...this is what responsible and capable men do....whatever you want to reason...just ask yourself, if a man comes from nowhere and impregnate your daughter without your consent as a father ,how u will feel? The shame... ..the traditions of my tribe ,is that a father is the rightful person to give out his own daughter in marriage after brideprice is paid ...don't deny your fellow man his own right as a father ...even in white wedding the father of the bride, walk down the aisle, holding her daughter proudly and then hand her over to her groom....this shows that civilization and tradition uphold the fact that father should give consent to a man to live with his daughter and have children for him....

You are speaking long grammer, just answer the question yes or no and give your reasons and save us the preaching

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

You are funny

Successsearch90:
I think so. I heard that when a child is over 6 years old, the father can take the child from the mother anytime he wants. Correct me if am wrong

No sir.

The Father can only gain custody of his child iff
1. He can prove a case of mental instability in the mother of his child
2. He can prove a case of Gross financial incapability of the mother of his child
3. He can prove a case of unstable Residence of the mother of his child
4. He can prove a case of Drug use leading to reckless behaviour of the mother of his child
5. He can prove a case of dangerous behaviours of the mother of his child
Except for any reason, the Mother of the Child want the Father to be the Primary Caregiver to the Child!

Otherwise, he will continue to share parenthood while the mother retains the status of the primary caregiver until the child is 18 years old.

If you cant prove any of the above, lawyers will just use you to cashout!


Cc: alizma, ARISHEM , Successlane

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

Why be say for this forum if Una no mention Igbo una most get tooth ache..Na only Igbo get tradition?

MarkNsukkaBread:
What are the deciding factors?

Please list some of them

if the mother is deceased.
If the mother is of unsound mind
If the child is over 6 years
If the mother is a drug addict
If mother has no means of caring for the child

Fiscus105:
Is community customs and traditions superceded Nigeria constitution?

Capital No.

Let the father takes them to court ,he would come out victorious. I know it is Igbo tribe that has, all these funny traditions.

That was how they wanted to play nonsense with Bianca until she defeated then in Court.

Yoruba customs are worse. A lady's family seized an Igbo man's children till date even though they were legally married and at some point the lady moved in with another man

So stop mentioning Igbos as if that's the source of your suffering.

LawWithEbele:
Lawyer, can a father get custody of a child born out of wedlock?

So many men are caught up in this web.
They meet a woman casually. Nothing serious. Suddenly, pregnancy.

Emeka was not ready for marriage. She bore the burden alone and delivered the baby out of wedlock.

Now, Emeka wants to be the best father he can be. But then came the unthinkable.
The community says: “A child born out of wedlock belongs to the mother’s family.”

Is this lawful?
The answer is No. Such customs are repugnant to natural justice, equity, and good conscience.

The Court of Appeal made this clear in Muojekwu v. Ejikeme (2000) 5 NWLR (Pt. 657) 402. In that case, TOBI, J.C.A. held:

“Why should a custom deny the biological father of his children? A custom which denies the natural or biological father of his child is repugnant to natural justice.”

The truth is clear. A child born out of wedlock does not cease to be the child of his or her father. Nigerian courts have repeatedly affirmed that fathers also have rights and duties towards such children. Custody is not automatic to the mother or her family. The paramount consideration is the welfare of the child.

If a father can prove that he is responsible, capable, and that custody is in the best interest of the child, the court can grant him custody or access rights, whether or not he was married to the child’s mother.

The lesson is simple: being unmarried does not strip a father of his parental rights.

I am Ebelechukwu Aroh-Nwoka, Esq., the Nigerian family and property lawyer. I help you protect what you cannot afford to lose, your land, your legacy, and your family.

For further information or inquiry, send a DM.

#arohnwokaebelechukwu #ebelechukwulawfirm #familylawnigeria
#childcustody

The custody of a child depends on firstly the tradition stipulation, I use the word tradition cos every law is a product of a peoples customer and tradition that's why we have the customary courts.
Now the Igbo tradition does not recognize an illegitimate child, until the full rights is been done..Again, of am legally married to a woman and you pregnant her the tradition says that child belongs to me except I reject the child..Now, if you impregnate my daughter or my sister and refused to take responsibility, that child will be mine or ours in the family and can only be yours after you come with your kinsmen with drinks for apologies and you carry out the traditional stipulation not necessarily mean you are marrying her but you just do the traditional right for you to have a lawful custody of the child.

This law does not apply to we Igbo alone cos I was oppurtuned to be involved in a similar matter in Abuja with the Tivs in Venue that also have similar practice, my village guy impregnated a Tiv lady and latter desire custody of the son, the Tiv people came with a long list of demands at which we finally did before having the child..But we were able to earn some reduction in the list cos that my kinsman has been taking responsibility from the year the child was born to his eight year if age which they are witnesses and the lady confirmed.

TenQ:
No sir.

The Father can only gain custody of his child iff
1. He can prove a case of mental instability in the mother of his child
2. He can prove a case of Gross financial incapability of the mother of his child
3. He can prove a case of unstable Residence of the mother of his child
4. He can prove a case of Drug use leading to reckless behaviour of the mother of his child
5. He can prove a case of dangerous behaviours of the mother of his child
Except for any reason, the Mother of the Child want the Father to be the Primary Caregiver to the Child!

Otherwise, he will continue to share parenthood while the mother retains the status of the primary caregiver until the child is 18 years old.

If you cant prove any of the above, lawyers will just use you to cashout!


Cc: alizma, ARISHEM , Successlane

My man you are correct, the only reason why people leave this court process is that they are traditional that have very strong traditional dietes and oracle, that will not bother to go to court with you, them go just knack you wan strong jazz,you go begin see any how till you come beg them so no be everything you dey carry go court except say the family na church peoole

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby ....if not child remains with the girl's family...I don't see a responsible man that will casually have sex with someone he doesn't love and still give her belle ....

if u are capable and responsible then choose a wife ,marry her properly and rise a family with her...this is what responsible and capable men do....whatever you want to reason...just ask yourself, if a man comes from nowhere and impregnate your daughter without your consent as a father ,how u will feel? The shame... ..

the traditions of my tribe ,is that a father is the rightful person to give out his own daughter in marriage after brideprice is paid ...don't deny your fellow man his own right as a father ...even in white wedding the father of the bride, walk down the aisle, holding her daughter proudly and then hand her over to her groom....

this shows that civilization and tradition uphold the fact that father should give consent to a man to live with his daughter and have children for him....

If you hold the man to such standard of marrying first, before impregnating a woman, then which standards are you holding the girl to? such culture must also require that a woman should marry first, before allowing a man to get her pregnant.

Besides, culture and law are two different things. People are obligated to follow cultural norms, but when it comes to the law, it is a different kind of thinking.

The are lots of women that dont want to marry, and just want to have a child, will you force marriage on her? if no, then why will you deny the child and the woman access to a father and a companion?

Also take into consideration that Nigerian child act of 2003 creates conditions for the safe upbringing and development of a child, so denying the child a father due to the choice of the mother is unlawful.

Did you consider any of these before you wrote your comment?

Most importantly, the responsibility to not be a single mum lies heavily on a woman, NOT the man. There are at least five different level of control a woman has to prevent being a single mum.

1. Dont carry belle before you marry
2. If you must fork, use protection
3. If you do not want to use protection, then fork during when the likelihood of prengancy is very low (not in your ovulation)
4. If you skip all these steps and still fork, then use after morning pills.
5. If she still skip all these steps, then do abortion after few weeks noticing pregancy

As you can observe from above, the chance for correction is plenty. So the infantilisation of women needs to stop, they aint kids, but adult. If a woman gets pregnant outside wedlock, the father must have custody of the child regardless of culture.

If the culture hold only men responsible, then it is not a good culture. Discard it. If the culture do not care about the child interest, discard it. IF the culture does not encourage women to marry as virgins, discard it. It is a nonsense culture.

omooba969:
The law recognises the mother as the primary caregiver, therefore retains custody of the child. However, if there is an evidence of any prevailing circumstance such the mother lacking the capacity to adequately cater to the needs of the child, then the dad may be considered to have custody.

Two people can have custody at the same time, if they are both responsible. A child born outside wedlock does not deny the father custodian rights and duties.

Ortherwise, it will create a situation where the freedom of the individual is trampled upon by the states, because there are lots of women that do not want to get married, but still wants a child.