₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I prefer to focus on learning what the Law instead says.
[quote author=Kobojunkie post=136611406]Again, pay close attention to what is being said so you do not keep needing to go off on these meaningless rants.

[/quote]Perhaps, you need to drop off your high horse and read my response, as it clearly addresses this

Zouzer:
➜Perhaps, you need to drop off your high horse and read my response, as it clearly addresses this

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This coming from someone whose language so far more than establishes him as one sitting on exactly that... a high horse. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Abeg, waka pass me with your particular issues.

Kobojunkie:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This coming from someone whose language so far more than establishes him as one sitting on exactly that... a high horse. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Abeg, waka pass me with your particular issues.

You just accurately summed up your attitude. Thank you for saving me the stress of doing that.

At any rate, I'm glad you learnt something new about the legal system. It gives me joy that I updated your outdated knowledge.

Cheers

Zouzer:
➜You just accurately summed up your attitude. Thank you for saving me the stress of doing that.
At any rate, I'm glad you learnt something new about the legal system. It gives me joy that I updated your outdated knowledge. Cheers

You are right. I learned that Judicial interpretations/opinions, even in Nigeria, are not absolute— they can be challenged and overruled/overturned, hence the importance of knowing the details of the Law itself.

Now, can we move on?

The father created that child, the mother carried and birthed the child , the DNA codling carried the fathers gene not the mothers , the father PI is always higher

Kobojunkie:
You are right. I learned that Judicial interpretations/opinions, even in Nigeria, are not absolute— they can be challenged and overruled/overturned, hence the importance of knowing the details of the Law itself.

Now, can we move on?

Say hi to Chat Gpt for me.

So people now rely on Chat Gpt to give responses in conversations? Wonders of all wonders

Arda1000:
weyrey Igbo people are wise,the inheritance of a woman is at her husbands home unless her parents don’t have male kids

Your comprehension skills are very poor, did you hear me say it's a cultural practice but has no basis in law?
That you don't doesn't make it legal, actually someone from the igbo extraction took this matter to court and supreme Court ruled in 2021. Get educated

Zouzer:
➜Say hi to Chat Gpt for me. So people now rely on Chat Gpt to give responses in conversations? Wonders of all wonders

I don't know much about ChatGPT itself since I have never used it myself, but I do rely on Google to access information on any and every topic I need information on. I mean, this sort of behavior should be common sense in this day and age to all except for maybe those who are too full of themselves or looking to browbeat others into accepting only their particular interpretation of things outside of facts, that is.

If you don't pay bride price forget it


Only bride price can give you that right

No court will intertain your furnication matter


I that sense it only means the woman only bears a child for her family

criuze:
If you don't pay bride price forget it


Only bride price can give you that right

No court will intertain your furnication matter


I that sense it only means the woman only bears a child for her family

Go and improve your English before expressing an opinion on a matter such as this.

Bride price ko, groom price ni. 😏

Pls help I have a similar case like this.
I meant a girl who she told me she has a child somewhere but both him and the guy are no longer together but the children are with the guy family ( mother of 2). Now we start dating but I have a good intention of marrying her, she took in for me after I showed her where family are staying. I never denied the pregnancy because I know I was the one responsible for it. I took all the responsibility which was not easy for me. When she told me she was pregnant, she said am going to see her parents, I said no problem, also said I will take care of her and be responsible for everything, the funniest thing she said when I disagree she told me her children will be staying with us and I said over my dead body.
She try to remove the baby because I refuse to accept her children, all the drugs she took did not work until she gave birth for me. She don't want me to know her family, my parents are worried about her parents yet she refuses to show me. Now she is using the baby to deal with me, her character has changed since the day she gave birth, she is not always happy when I asked her to go and see my family and spend some time because the bill for me is not easy. The baby is four months now and I have told my family I can't marry her.
Her two children came to see her father for holiday she went to the man house and see the children and gave my child to someone that she don't want the father of those two children to know she has given birth. Am dying silently because I cannot chase her because of my baby, am ashamed she is not proud of my baby. I can't endure this anymore because I can't wait for the baby to reach one year before I take my decision. She don't even have place to go and my family are saying I should endure because of the baby because she still have right because she still breast feeding. I really want to chase her away. Pls help your guy for advice pls. Don't insult me pls

Mokole2023:
The writer has misused the word "custody". The write-up is basically saying that a man has rights to a child born out of wedlock which is quite different from CUSTODY. Even though he tried mentioning custody, but i still think the purpose of the whole post was about parental rights and not necessarily custody, because even legally married couples also file custody claims if certain conditions permit.

👍

HenryWilliams:
When the man she's with gets tired of her and her child and the bills for the child's upkeep becomes too much for her to bear..
She'll be the one calling you day and night seeking a day to dump the kid on you.
Just relax..
She'll come back

I pray so, I'm very worried about the welfare of the child

TrackerSK:
How do you know that you are the father of the child? Have you done DNA test?

I haven't done the DNA test but when I saw the baby on her tick-tock page, the resemblance with me is 99.9% match and I'm sure I did it

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby

And much will the total amount be? Probably 10 million naira. Like money is easy to get

....if not child remains with the girl's family.

Only if he's not ready, he knows where to go without having to become bankrupt

..I don't see a responsible man that will casually have sex with someone he doesn't love and still give her belle ....if u are capable and responsible then choose a wife ,marry her properly and rise a family with her...this is what responsible and capable men do....whatever you want to reason...just ask yourself, if a man comes from nowhere and impregnate your daughter without your consent as a father ,how u will feel? The shame... ..the traditions of my tribe ,is that a father is the rightful person to give out his own daughter in marriage after brideprice is paid ...don't deny your fellow man his own right as a father ...even in white wedding the father of the bride, walk down the aisle, holding her daughter proudly and then hand her over to her groom....this shows that civilization and tradition uphold the fact that father should give consent to a man to live with his daughter and have children for him....

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby ....if not child remains with the girl's family...I don't see a responsible man that will casually have sex with someone he doesn't love and still give her belle ....if u are capable and responsible then choose a wife ,marry her properly and rise a family with her...this is what responsible and capable men do....whatever you want to reason...just ask yourself, if a man comes from nowhere and impregnate your daughter without your consent as a father ,how u will feel? The shame... ..the traditions of my tribe ,is that a father is the rightful person to give out his own daughter in marriage after brideprice is paid ...don't deny your fellow man his own right as a father ...even in white wedding the father of the bride, walk down the aisle, holding her daughter proudly and then hand her over to her groom....this shows that civilization and tradition uphold the fact that father should give consent to a man to live with his daughter and have children for him....

What if I pay bride price and take my child then return the woman

okrikaboi:
➜What if I pay bride price and take my child then return the woman

It is a two-for-one deal. You have to take both with you.

Kobojunkie:
It is a two-for-one deal. You have to take both with you.

I have paid she can go and marry someone else I just want my kid. I’m going through this right now. Seeing her makes me want to throw up. I need a family lawyer

okrikaboi:
➜I have paid she can go and marry someone else I just want my kid. I’m going through this right now. Seeing her makes me want to throw up. I need a family lawyer

. Oh! In that case, you are right to want to get a lawyer. I doubt she would want to give you full custody, unless she is sure that doing so would also be in her favor.

I would also suggest you remove yourself from her space as soon as possible. This way, you can avoid regrets of any kind.

Kingpele:
Ofcourse if u go pay brideprize and carry your wife and baby ....if not child remains with the girl's family...I don't see a responsible man that will casually have sex with someone he doesn't love and still give her belle ....if u are capable and responsible then choose a wife ,marry her properly and rise a family with her...this is what responsible and capable men do....whatever you want to reason...just ask yourself, if a man comes from nowhere and impregnate your daughter without your consent as a father ,how u will feel? The shame... ..the traditions of my tribe ,is that a father is the rightful person to give out his own daughter in marriage after brideprice is paid ...don't deny your fellow man his own right as a father ...even in white wedding the father of the bride, walk down the aisle, holding her daughter proudly and then hand her over to her groom....this shows that civilization and tradition uphold the fact that father should give consent to a man to live with his daughter and have children for him....

Unfortunately the law is not emotional. The father has an absolute right over his child

mankan2k7:
✓ Unfortunately the law is not emotional. The father has an absolute (conditional) right over to his child

This is much better since the previous is not true.

TenQ:
No sir.

The Father can only gain custody of his child iff
1. He can prove a case of mental instability in the mother of his child
2. He can prove a case of Gross financial incapability of the mother of his child
3. He can prove a case of unstable Residence of the mother of his child
4. He can prove a case of Drug use leading to reckless behaviour of the mother of his child
5. He can prove a case of dangerous behaviours of the mother of his child
Except for any reason, the Mother of the Child want the Father to be the Primary Caregiver to the Child!

Otherwise, he will continue to share parenthood while the mother retains the status of the primary caregiver until the child is 18 years old.

If you cant prove any of the above, lawyers will just use you to cashout!


Cc: alizma, ARISHEM , Successlane

wow

Austinbiggy:
Pls help I have a similar case like this.
I meant a girl who she told me she has a child somewhere but both him and the guy are no longer together but the children are with the guy family ( mother of 2). Now we start dating but I have a good intention of marrying her, she took in for me after I showed her where family are staying. I never denied the pregnancy because I know I was the one responsible for it. I took all the responsibility which was not easy for me. When she told me she was pregnant, she said am going to see her parents, I said no problem, also said I will take care of her and be responsible for everything, the funniest thing she said when I disagree she told me her children will be staying with us and I said over my dead body.
She try to remove the baby because I refuse to accept her children, all the drugs she took did not work until she gave birth for me. She don't want me to know her family, my parents are worried about her parents yet she refuses to show me. Now she is using the baby to deal with me, her character has changed since the day she gave birth, she is not always happy when I asked her to go and see my family and spend some time because the bill for me is not easy. The baby is four months now and I have told my family I can't marry her.
Her two children came to see her father for holiday she went to the man house and see the children and gave my child to someone that she don't want the father of those two children to know she has given birth. Am dying silently because I cannot chase her because of my baby, am ashamed she is not proud of my baby. I can't endure this anymore because I can't wait for the baby to reach one year before I take my decision. She don't even have place to go and my family are saying I should endure because of the baby because she still have right because she still breast feeding. I really want to chase her away. Pls help your guy for advice pls. Don't insult me pls

Hello,

You should have discussed everything with her BEFORE getting into a relationship with her. Or didn't she tell you that she would want to take full custody of her previous 2 children?

See why you shouldn't be having pre-marital ssex?

Right now, it is best to prioritize welfare of the child. Can you live with her and marry her, still?

If not, then start making financial and visitation arrangements for your child. Not once every 2 months, weekly visits. Go to your parents and have them communicate with her and her parents for access to the baby. Then get a lawyer and draft that child arrangements plan.

Please don't take the baby from her, you can't take care of that child yet (your personal squabbles aside, if that baby isn't in danger with her, leave the child with her).

If she's hiding your child from the father of her previous children, there's a chance you can with calm, reason, your parents and hers sitting down together, ask if she will be willing to hand over full custody of your baby to you.

Austinbiggy:
➜....She try to remove the baby because I refuse to accept her children, all the drugs she took did not work until she gave birth for me. She don't want me to know her family, my parents are worried about her parents yet she refuses to show me. Now she is using the baby to deal with me, her character has changed since the day she gave birth, she is not always happy when I asked her to go and see my family and spend some time because the bill for me is not easy. The baby is four months now and I have told my family I can't marry her.
Her two children came to see her father for holiday she went to the man house and see the children and gave my child to someone that she don't want the father of those two children to know she has given birth. Am dying silently because I cannot chase her because of my baby, am ashamed she is not proud of my baby. I can't endure this anymore because I can't wait for the baby to reach one year before I take my decision. She don't even have place to go and my family are saying I should endure because of the baby because she still have right because she still breast feeding. I really want to chase her away. Pls help your guy for advice pls. Don't insult me pls

Since she already gave the child to someone else, basically admitting that it is an inconvenience to her life as is, you should go to the courts to demand full custody of the child. Get yourself a good lawyer — not a know-it-all or one who refuses to use information technology to their advantage — to help you get your child from the hands of the woman and the strangers. For a good lawyer, this case should be straightforward unless there is more you are not telling us here.

As for you, you should make sure your intention here is not to take the baby so you too can hand it off to a stranger or even a relative to raise on your behalf. The moment you become a father, you also acquire nurturing skills... yes, that is how it all goes. Even women read books or ask others to learn these things.

Kobojunkie:
Since she already gave the child to someone else, basically admitting that it is an inconvenience to her life as is, you should go to the courts to demand full custody of the child. Get yourself a good lawyer — not a know-it-all or one who refuses to use information technology to their advantage — to help you get your child from the hands of the woman and the strangers. For a good lawyer, this case should be straightforward unless there is more you are not telling us here.

As for you, you should make sure your intention here is not to take the baby so you too can hand it off to a stranger or even a relative to raise on your behalf. The moment you become a father, you also acquire nurturing skills... yes, that is how it all goes. Even women read books or ask others to learn these things.

You have captured my heart, I think this is what am going to do by getting a lawyer. She stayed with me but I don't want her to be staying with me and I don't have intentions of getting married to her again. The feeling is dead. The baby is just four months old and I don't want her to raise the baby because she was not raised by her mother. I don't even know any of her family. My parents are saying I should endure it before the baby turn a year plus but I'm dying silently. I don't want her to stay with me or even seeing her. if she has money she will not used it for herself but am the one doing everything. I really need to get a lawyer or report it to the police station. Thank you so much.

Onegai:
Hello,

You should have discussed everything with her BEFORE getting into a relationship with her. Or didn't she tell you that she would want to take full custody of her previous 2 children?

See why you shouldn't be having pre-marital ssex?

Right now, it is best to prioritize welfare of the child. Can you live with her and marry her, still?

If not, then start making financial and visitation arrangements for your child. Not once every 2 months, weekly visits. Go to your parents and have them communicate with her and her parents for access to the baby. Then get a lawyer and draft that child arrangements plan.

Please don't take the baby from her, you can't take care of that child yet (your personal squabbles aside, if that baby isn't in danger with her, leave the child with her).

If she's hiding your child from the father of her previous children, there's a chance you can with calm, reason, your parents and hers sitting down together, ask if she will be willing to hand over full custody of your baby to you.

Seriously I don't want anything serious with her again, I don't want to leave the baby with her. She ran away with her two children with the man she was dating and when she can not cope with the bills and expenses she took the baby to the guy sister. Now the children has grown up she's regretting about her mistakes and trying to take back the children which I know is not possible. She's not proud of my baby and her focused is with her two children. I have done my DNA test and the results show am the father of the child but I don't want to settle with her again, she stay with me but I cannot chase her because of the baby, she wants me to beat her and used those weapons of abusing her but I can't cope anymore. Thank you so much

Austinbiggy:
➜You have captured my heart, I think this is what am going to do by getting a lawyer. She stayed with me but I don't want her to be staying with me and I don't have intentions of getting married to her again. The feeling is dead. The baby is just four months old and I don't want her to raise the baby because she was not raised by her mother. I don't even know any of her family. My parents are saying I should endure it before the baby turn a year plus but I'm dying silently. I don't want her to stay with me or even seeing her. if she has money she will not used it for herself but am the one doing everything. I really need to get a lawyer or report it to the police station. Thank you so much.

I wholly disagree with your parents on this. Also, you do not have to date the woman or even marry her to get your baby back. She already decided to go back to her ex and had revealed she is not interested in having your baby in her life. She has literally given you the easy way out as far as full custody. Handing the baby over to a third party gives you solid legal grounds to swoop in as its father to claim full custody. Do not wait until it may be too late.

Kobojunkie:
I wholly disagree with your parents on this. Also, you do not have to date the woman or even marry her to get your baby back. She already decided to go back to her ex and had revealed she is not interested in having your baby in her life. She has literally given you the easy way out as far as full custody. Handing the baby over to a third party gives you solid legal grounds to swoop in as its father to claim full custody. Do not wait until it may be too late.

Thank you Sir