₦airaland Forum

I'm asking you a question based on your comment that the money the man gave the woman was for the domestic duties and the man must pay the 4k he borrowed. In the scenario I gave you now, should the man still give her the 4k after the gift?

Kobojunkie:
Then he should be the one you should be asking why he does all of that for his family. So, what did he tell you when you asked him why he chose to do all of that for his family?

Gbadugbakun:
So if I'm owing you 4k and I give you 100k you'll still expect me to pay you the 4k am owing you ba. Very well I will collect back my 100k and give you your 4k.

Why not specifically say take the 4k I'm owing you from the 100k and keep 96k for yourself? You guys don't understand what debt means. You must spell it out and pay it. That's the only time that thought would leave the other person's mind. You collected the debt and you must acknowledge and pay it off.

BodePolScience:
➜From the original post, it's clear that it's a domestic/family or couple matter and NOT a formal or business matter. It's very unromantic for couples to be counting scores. I occasionally collects 2k or 3k from my wife for conveniency reasons and I do give her money in 10's of thousands to do things for herself far far more than the times I collect from her. So it will be an ungrateful act if she asked or reminded of some little money that I might have even forgotten. What she's saying is that she can't make any sacrifice or tolerate any loss but me the constant giver is free to keep giving her and tolerating loss.

Marriage is a business agreement between two individuals/partners. Your wife is not a source of free labor for you. She, too, deserves a share of the profits of the marriage, and for most of you, that is the salary the provider in the household makes at the end of each month.

Gbadugbakun:
So if I'm owing you 4k and I give you 100k you'll still expect me to pay you the 4k am owing you ba. Very well I will collect back my 100k and give you your 4k.

Man is not wise; he should have given her the 4k and 96k. That is common sense; otherwise, next time she won't lend you. Women don't appreciate your gifts like the ones you collect from them and return.Theirs is always more golden than yours, no matter how costly yours is.

Kobojunkie:
This is really straightforward. Your wife is not a source of free labor. She, too, has to eat of the dividends of the marriage, and in many cases(for people in the lower brackets), it is the husband's salary from which she deserves a share each month.

if anybody is owing me 4k and gifts me 100k,shame will not allow me to ask for my 4k again. If he remembers to pay,then it's fine. If he doesn't,I will write off the debt automatically. I don't know how you guys reason here

Caaz:
That's why you re not my spouse, only odiegwu husbands act like you.you ve no idea the joys that comes with collecting the 4k.

Your hubby abi Odogwu in view is attending Gheghe class.

Raregem9000:
➜I'm asking you a question based on your comment that the money the man gave the woman was for the domestic duties and the man must pay the 4k he borrowed.
➜ In the scenario I gave you now, should the man still give her the 4k after the gift?

I didn't say that, though. I instead made it clear that the woman deserves a share of the dividends from the marriage, the same as the man. And yes, if the man took a loan from the woman, he should rightly pay it back to her.

2. What part of a loan, regardless of the situation, should be repaid did you not understand? The scenario you posted clearly indicates the man's choice in his union. His choice is not by default her choice. And as I suggested, you should probably go listen to the man give you his reasons for his choice.

It's simple.

The 100k is including the ones I owe U and the ones I will owe U ahead....

Kobojunkie:
You are not making any sense! You claimed there is a man out there that you know of who chooses —note this — to handle all of the labor as well as the responsibility to provide all by himself. And why not ask the man why he chooses— no gun to his head— to live like that rather than come here pretending your case is exactly that of the man's?

There is no single sense in your self-designed financial literacy either.

paragon10:
➜if anybody is owing me 4k and gifts me 100k, shame will not allow me to ask for my 4k again.
➜If he remembers to pay,then it's fine. If he doesn't,I will write off the debt automatically. I don't know how you guys reason here

That is you! Most successful business-minded people out there know that if they give in to shame, it will be their ruin, and no one to blame for it except themselves.

2. Na your kind people dey like loan money from.

Na Mumu dey dash woman money.

The only money you should give your wife is for foodstuffs, household toiletries and children upkeep. If your wife does not dash you money, why should you dash her money?

Are you still a Learner?

israelmao:
➜There is no single sense in your self-designed financial literacy either.

Financial literacy is a course you actually take, not designed by me.

davidtemi:
➜Sincerely I was expecting it. That it was even a small boy that drunk the water. Na just #10 oo😳
I then have her 1k I swear she gave me #990 change

. Learn to pocket sentiments when it comes to business dealings.

Kobojunkie:
Financial literacy is a course you actually take, not designed by me.

I wish this was a platform like Facebook. To block you completely dey hungry me.

Kobojunkie:
. Learn to pocket sentiments when it comes to business dealings.

Ok

essentialone1:
➜I wish this was a platform like Facebook. To block you completely dey hungry me.

Na women wey dey get themselves entangled with people of your mentality I dey always pity pass!

davidtemi:
Ok

Think about it!🤔

You said you gave all the nurses the same gift. What does she gain from deducting Naira 10 from her own gift to give back to you in that case? Plus, if she didn't collect Naira 10 from you, she would be short on profit for the day and would have to source the money from somewhere else, maybe even resort to selling one of the bottles of malt she got from you for less than it is worth. That isn't good for business.

Kobojunkie:
It js not a woman programming but basic financial literacy. When you take a loan you ought to pay it back. Pretending that by paying a bonus/allowance/salary or giving a gift to your creditor that your loan ought to to forgiven is fraud.

lf ur owing a man 4k but give him 100k as gift he will forget that 4k.Believe me. We r logical. Women are not.

Pray this kind of wife doesn't meet you guys

Kobojunkie:
Think about it!🤔

You said you gave all the nurses the same gift. What does she gain from deducting Naira 10 from her own gift to give back to you in that case? Plus, if she didn't collect Naira 10 from you, she would be short on profit for the day and would have to source the money from somewhere else, maybe even resort to selling one of the bottles of malt she got from you for less than it is worth. That isn't good for business.

I bought the drink from her, so she must have gained from me already. (I'm sure hospital premises price of that pack of Malta ll be on the high side compared to outside)

Gbadugbakun:
So if I'm owing you 4k and I give you 100k you'll still expect me to pay you the 4k am owing you ba. Very well I will collect back my 100k and give you your 4k.

The exact same thing I'd do.
Which irrationality be that?

Gbadugbakun:
I saw this and decided to share it here. Why are our women like this.

Guys what would you do in this situation if you are the one?

See! Let me break it down for you, for better understanding:

Hubby: Honey, take my ATM card, withdraw 200k for feeding allowance, then withdraw another 100k, out of that 100k, take the 4k that I borrowed from you, then keep the rest for whatever you need.

Wife: Omg! I 💕you babe. Thank you.

Wife's happy.
Hubby feels appreciated.

See ehn, women dey easy to understand, but na una no wan cool down learn.

Unless na woman wey get big eyes sha.

You're welcome. 🙂

Kobojunkie:
Are you sure you are OK at all?

You are obviously not ok. You are one of the ladies the op referred to.

Kobojunkie:
1 So, you think a husband does a wife a favor when he gives her money for her own upkeep in the relationship while he obviously takes out money for his own upkeep in the relationship as well?

2. Gifted? You think that money a husband gives his wife for her upkeep is a gift? Are you certain you are OK? So, when your parentis gave you allowance as a child, you regarded that as a gift?

3. I wouldn't want to work with an incompetent individual who does not realize that loans are meant to be repaid, not wiggled out of because because I also get paid a deserved allowance/ salary/bonus.

4. I honestly blame women who engage little minded individuals in the name of marriage. The situation is almost guaranteed to end up pathetic one for them 😩

imagine a man thinking the allowance he gives his own wife is more a gift than payment she deserves for her part in the marriage;the same man will have no problems giving himself all the allowance he desires by the way, all while considering it pay deserved for his own efforts.😩😩😩😩

Wait so you have no issues with a woman lending 4k to her husband when he was in need but gladly accepts a gift from him of 2,500%. Is there a rule that says getting money from a woman should be by lending basis? Is it a crime for a woman to give her husband an allowance when he us down?

The fact that he mentioned " Buy anything you like with it" means it was not a pre-agreed allowance.

The kind of entitled minds we have these days and people like you fuelling it is mind boggling.

Now that said, the issue here is there was a verbal contract which remains unfulfilled and the man is liable. The right thing to have done is pay back only the 4k plus maybe if willing, 500 naira interest rather than the unappreciated show of chivalry by gifting 100k.

engrelvis:
➜lf ur owing a man 4k but give him 100k as gift he will forget that 4k.Believe me.
➜ We r logical. Women are not.

A woman does not have to be stewpid because men are.

2. What you described isn't logical, though.
➜ First of all, what the man in the OP gave the woman was not a gift but her allowance... her share of the dividends of the union. Think of it as a sort of salary.
➜ Second, the OP says the man owed the woman Naira 4k, which he did not pay back.

If that woman were to appear before a court with that man to collect her 4k, the courts, the seat of logic for our society, would require that the man pay her the money he owes her. That is what would logically happen.

Therefore, your idea of what constitutes logic is completely upside down and maybe twisted on itself, too.

Caaz:
That's why you re not my spouse, only odiegwu husbands act like you.you ve no idea the joys that comes with collecting the 4k.

What sort of joy is that?

Keep doing that sha if you have such understanding with your spouse.

For me o, I can't rationalize that.

CoolAmbience:
What sort of joy is that?

Keep doing that sha if you have such understanding with your spouse.

For me o, I can't rationalize that.

Thanks for the encouragement....lolxxx
Please ypu guys stop suck your mentions up.to each their own.

Firstcitizen:
➜Wait so you have no issues with a woman lending 4k to her husband when he was in need but gladly accepts a gift from him of 2,500%. Is there a rule that says getting money from a woman should be by lending basis? Is it a crime for a woman to give her husband an allowance when he us down?
➜ The kind of entitled minds we have these days is mind boggling.
➜ Now that said, the issue here is there was a verbal contract which remains unfulfilled and the man is liable. The right thing to have done is pay back only the 4k plus 500 naira interest rather than the unappreciated show of chivalry by gifting 100k.

1. Again, the OP says the money for her upkeep; it is not a gift but her share of the dividends of the marriage, which in a poor man's case is usually the salary the man makes while married to the woman.

2. The entitled mind here is the man thinking that the upkeep money he gives his wife is a gift and not actually what she deserves.

3. Again, the woman in a marriage is not a source of free labor to the man. She is a partner and hence entitled to a share of the dividends of the marriage, i.e., the man's salary. So, the 100k was not a gift, but money due her. She is also a human being and deserves to have her own money, her own savings, as she has her own dreams, etc. Her being a wife does not mean she should not get her share for all of her sweat. And that share is not a gift.

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is a business agreement between two individuals/partners. Your wife is not a source of free labor for you. She, too, deserves a share of the profits of the marriage, and for most of you, that is the salary the provider in the household makes at the end of each month.

What free labor? Man pays for the shelter, pays for food and other bills, that's not enough for the perceived free labor you provide? If you were by yourself won't you provide all these things? He does not owe you any allowance, whatever he gives you is a privilege not a right. If you want unquestionable money, get a damn job!

Caaz:
That's why you re not my spouse, only odiegwu husbands act like you.
you ve no idea the joys that comes with collecting the 4k.

They don't know.
It's therapeutic.🤣🤣

abbey621:
➜What free labor? Man pays for the shelter, pays for food and other bills, that's not enough for the perceived free labor you provide?
➜ If you were by yourself won't you provide all these things? He does not owe you any allowance; whatever he gives you is a privilege not a right. If you want unquestionable money, get a damn job!

1. Na the women wey dey marry your kind I dey pity pass.

2. Why didn't the man simply remain by himself then and hire other people to take care of the other needs? I know that hiring a cook and a cleaner alone — legal routes now —would probably cost you more than that 100K and then some, in addition to you still paying for shelter, food, and other bills.