₦airaland Forum

My Story: From Abandonment, Abuse… to Purpose

My name means “gift from God.” But growing up, I never felt like a gift to anyone.

My mother abandoned me at 2 months old and never returned. I grew up with my father and grandmother. My father was civil but distant. My grandmother? She saw me as the cause of her son’s misfortune.

When I was 8, my father discovered he was HIV positive. My grandmother got me tested but said nothing. She only handed me drugs and told me to take them. From then, her attitude worsened.

As a teenager, the abuse became unbearable. I wasn’t allowed to play with other kids. If I disobeyed, I was beaten with wires, belts, even canes then drenched in pepper water. I ate with separate utensils, forbidden to share with anyone in the house.

At the hospital, where I went to collect my drugs, I joined Teenage Zone at the Nigerian Institute of Medical Research (NIMR). It was there I finally learned the truth: I was HIV positive.

Suddenly, I understood my grandmother’s cruelty. But I also found strength.

Today, despite everything, I rise with one declaration:

I WILL CONQUER!

A real life story form Generation Z+; By Amaka Haruna.

What do you think, Nairaland family? Shouldn’t we be changing the narrative around children born with HIV?

RetroviralS:
My Story: From Abandonment, Abuse… to Purpose

My name means “gift from God.” But growing up, I never felt like a gift to anyone.

My mother abandoned me at 2 months old and never returned. I grew up with my father and grandmother. My father was civil but distant. My grandmother? She saw me as the cause of her son’s misfortune.

When I was 8, my father discovered he was HIV positive. My grandmother got me tested but said nothing. She only handed me drugs and told me to take them. From then, her attitude worsened.

As a teenager, the abuse became unbearable. I wasn’t allowed to play with other kids. If I disobeyed, I was beaten with wires, belts, even canes then drenched in pepper water. I ate with separate utensils, forbidden to share with anyone in the house.

At the hospital, where I went to collect my drugs, I joined Teenage Zone at the Nigerian Institute of Medical Research (NIMR). It was there I finally learned the truth: I was HIV positive.

Suddenly, I understood my grandmother’s cruelty. But I also found strength.

Today, despite everything, I rise with one declaration:

I WILL CONQUER!

A real life story form Generation Z+; By Amaka Haruna.

What do you think, Nairaland family? Shouldn’t we be changing the narrative around children born with HIV?

I totally agree with you that we should... I was once an advocate for PLWHA and a peer educator for Mcauthur foundation during my university days.

It is so disheartening to see that the public awareness on HIV/Aids has drastically gone down!!!

Those days, we have NACCA and SACCA during the days of Prof. Babatunde Oshotimyin always bring awareness programs and ads to our airways.

People must be continuosly reminded that AIDS is Real!!!

A heart touching story.

Imagine suffering from what you cause not

Try to locate your mom, she may not knw she positive, spreading it around is very dangerous

show me a greater injustice than this. the child never asked for any of this

Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexually abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood? Did they share sharps?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in an hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would have suspected that he was selling the drugs and flagged him from getting any further drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc. How did she manage to remain stable up until this point without ever been in a clinic and being monitored by a doctor?

Like I said, there are holes in this story but it makes for an interesting read and most importantly draws attention to HIV in children and its attendant negative social effects. So well done.

Reading…


My Story: From Abandonment, Abuse… to Purpose

[quote author=muyico post=136752530]Try to locate your mom, she may not knw she positive, spreading it around is very dangerous

Kindly shut up if you don't have anything reasonable to say.... Telling someone who's mother abandoned at just two months of age to go search for that same woman is utterly insensitive and callous.

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That I practically impossible as the disease would have been advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexual abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten for free from a hospital. Which begs the next question, who on earth in a hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers on the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would suspect he is selling the drugs and that alone will negate any further provision of the drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense.

And also I think ,expectant mother's are tested for HIV to decide on the mode of birth to prevent transmission to the child.
Good logical analysis from a female... Supposedly.

Hmmm life is real, But you are a real testimony, use social media to change this narative

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexually abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood? Did they share sharps?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in a hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would have suspected that he was selling the drugs and flagged him from getting further drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc.

Like I said, there are holes in this story but if makes for an interesting read and most importantly draws attention to HIV in children and its attendant negative social effects. So well done.

Actually,this is Nigeria, All those 'holes' are not so big and they are easily fillable

CorperKola:
Actually,this is Nigeria, All those 'holes' are not so big and they are easily fillable

Lol. The holes are way too many that it generates doubts. A good content writer should have done his or her homework before writing this piece.

Despite the innocence of the child, mother was the first to flee, father kept a distance and grandmother was cruel. This underscores the fact that family is not always a place of succor. In fact some families, like this lad's, are setbacks.

Your strength lies in God and within you. HIV cannot stop you from reaching the heights God has destined for you, especially since you have risen above your childhood pains. Be strong! Trust God and move towards your goals with focus, faith and grit.

RetroviralS:
My Story: From Abandonment, Abuse… to Purpose

My name means “gift from God.” But growing up, I never felt like a gift to anyone.

My mother abandoned me at 2 months old and never returned. I grew up with my father and grandmother. My father was civil but distant. My grandmother? She saw me as the cause of her son’s misfortune.

When I was 8, my father discovered he was HIV positive. My grandmother got me tested but said nothing. She only handed me drugs and told me to take them. From then, her attitude worsened.

As a teenager, the abuse became unbearable. I wasn’t allowed to play with other kids. If I disobeyed, I was beaten with wires, belts, even canes then drenched in pepper water. I ate with separate utensils, forbidden to share with anyone in the house.

At the hospital, where I went to collect my drugs, I joined Teenage Zone at the Nigerian Institute of Medical Research (NIMR). It was there I finally learned the truth: I was HIV positive.

Suddenly, I understood my grandmother’s cruelty. But I also found strength.

Today, despite everything, I rise with one declaration:

I WILL CONQUER!

A real life story form Generation Z+; By Amaka Haruna.

What do you think, Nairaland family? Shouldn’t we be changing the narrative around children born with HIV?

Like DrAda .... I'm not buying this story. If she was HIV positive it would've had to be from birth. If it were from birth then she would've been no more before age 8. It is more likely she was never HIV positive. If she is now .... at 16 ...she should let us know about her sexual history. It is more likely she acquired HIV due to sexual activities as a young teenager .....or .... her father is a pedophile and sexually abused her from age 8 .... which the grandmother knew about....and decided to give her his medication in the hope of controlling the spread.

Originalsly:
Like DrAda .... I'm not buying this story. If she was HIV positive it would've had to be from birth. If it were from birth then she would've been no more before age 8. It is more likely she was never HIV positive. If she is now .... at 16 ...she should let us know about her sexual history. It is more likely she acquired HIV due to sexual activities as a young teenager .....or .... her father is a pedophile and sexually abused her from age 8 .... which the grandmother knew about....and decided to give her his medication in the hope of controlling the spread.

I agree. So many questions, very few answers. Oh well, message was passed albeit inefficiently. Only wish the content writer had done his homework before publishing this.

fyneboi79:
And also I think ,expectant mother's are tested for HIV to decide on the mode of birth to prevent transmission to the child.
Good logical analysis from a female... Supposedly.

Do you know some women don't disclose their HIV status to their spouses, if you are a midwife in a government hospital you'll understand.

There are some people who don't go for antenatal care but are rushed to hospital during labour. What midwives do it's to take precautions while attending to them. Those kind of people will not even know their HIV status.

The story might be true or otherwise anyway,

fyneboi79:
And also I think ,expectant mother's are tested for HIV to decide on the mode of birth to prevent transmission to the child.
Good logical analysis from a female... Supposedly.

Why supposedly? Are you implying that a woman can't come up with a sound reasoning?

dawnomike:
I totally agree with you that we should... I was once an advocate for PLWHA and a peer educator for Mcauthur foundation during my university days.

It is so disheartening to see that the public awareness on HIV/Aids has drastically gone down!!!

Those days, we have NACCA and SACCA during the days of Prof. Babatunde Oshotimyin always bring awareness programs and ads to our airways.

People must be continuosly reminded that AIDS is Real!!!

I hope they listen. It will be like a movie the day they show them a lab result of testing positive. They should go to UCH and see fresh-looking chaps waiting for their ARVs. E no dey show for face at aaaaal. Now that Trump has even scrapped USAID, it will be difficult for victims to assess subsidised ARVs. Na pesin wey don chop belle full go fit afford am for pharmacy shops henceforth, cos the last batch of subsidised of ARVs don dey finish now. So, why take the risk?

OP, you forgot to mention FACCA,SFH,APIN/PEPFAR. I supplied them immune-based drugs back in the days. That was where I started my entrepreneurial life.

Some children went through worse conditions without having HIV. Atleast Grandma didnt let you die.

stop pucking around raw kiss is cheap always us CDs

I thought if the drugs is taking religiously, the viral load will reduce

This broke my heart I'm so sorry you had to go through all that....GOD IS YOUR STRENGTH

Sorry, this is weird question,


Are you still a virgin? I'm just inquisitive

DrAda:
Why supposedly? Are you implying that a woman can't come up with a sound reasoning?

When you log on to Nairaland anything is possible. Well I am a sapio x kind of person so intelligence is my thing.... Impressive reasoning!!

Painful.......

Really ❤️ heart touching story.
Suffering on what you cos not

Your story if touching and inspiring. Good to know you found your strenght. You will be greater than what anyone has ever imagined.

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexually abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood? Did they share sharps?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in an hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would have suspected that he was selling the drugs and flagged him from getting any further drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc. How did she manage to remain stable up until this point without ever been in a clinic and being monitored by a doctor?

Like I said, there are holes in this story but it makes for an interesting read and most importantly draws attention to HIV in children and its attendant negative social effects. So well done.

You're a straight thinking person.

Most times when people read such stories they become so overwhelmed by emotions and ignore reasoning and logic.

This story is off reasoning and defiles logic. And impossible story

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexually abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood? Did they share sharps?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in an hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would have suspected that he was selling the drugs and flagged him from getting any further drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc. How did she manage to remain stable up until this point without ever been in a clinic and being monitored by a doctor?

Like I said, there are holes in this story but it makes for an interesting read and most importantly draws attention to HIV in children and its attendant negative social effects. So well done.

I think the narrative seems to have been summarized, omitting some of the salient points, hence the gaps identified.

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

Which begs the next question, if she was infected much later, how did she get it? Was she sexually abused by the dad who is also HIV positive or transfused at some point with his blood? Did they share sharps?

The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in an hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person? Or did the grandmother take some of the dad's meds to give the child. If so, how did the dad convince the health care providers the reason his medications were finishing so quickly. I would have suspected that he was selling the drugs and flagged him from getting any further drugs.

And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc. How did she manage to remain stable up until this point without ever been in a clinic and being monitored by a doctor?

Like I said, there are holes in this story but it makes for an interesting read and most importantly draws attention to HIV in children and its attendant negative social effects. So well done.

It is AIDS, and not HIV that kills. There are people who have lived with HIV for years because they are what we called : "Long term non-progressors". I know one or two persons who lived with the virus for years without taking the antiretroviral drugs, and I am surprised that someone is still ignorant about this basic fact. Can you rule out the possibility that she doesn't fall into the category of a long term non-progressor?

Additionally, I know people who used to go for their antiretroviral drugs by proxy. You are so sure that can never happen, forgetting that you are in Nigeria where anything goes. Those politicians and wealthy mean who are HIV positive, do you think they go to hospitals to get the drugs themselves? Her story sounds plausible, and you are the ignorant one here because it's obvious who know little about HIV and AIDS.

DrAda:
Sad story but there are holes in it. I find it hard to believe that she was born with HIV, only to be discovered at 8 years of age. That is practically impossible as the disease would have advanced so much so that i don't expect her to be alive without anti-retroviral drugs.

They may have found out when the sickness began to properly manifest perhaps they thought it was malaria only to get to do a blood test and discover HIV.

DrAda:
The story about the grandmother just handing her drugs is also unbelievable. Where was she getting the drugs from? I know for certain that she didn't buy it because they are expensive so she must have gotten them for free from a hospital.

Which begs the next question, who on earth in an hospital environment will give HIV drugs to a healthy person for a sick person?

When you were sick as a child was it you the doctors gave the drugs and prescription or to your parents? Obviously the drugs would go to the adults who are responsible for the child

DrAda:
And then finally, when she went to the hospital to collect her drugs as a teenager (several years later), she learnt the truth about her status. That makes no sense. What about her latest CD4 count, periodic checks on other investigations to ascertain if there are side effects to the drugs etc. How did she manage to remain stable up until this point without ever been in a clinic and being monitored by a doctor?

Most hospitals usually recommend that they don't tell children with HIV below 13 sometimes 14 their HIV status, most patients believe they fall sick easily or something else, when they reach a certain age they can be told, at that age it is expected that they won't fall into depression or overreact (which many of them do)

The story is practical

We4all:
It is AIDS, and not HIV that kills. There are people who have lived with HIV for years because they are what we called : "Long term non-progressors". I know one or two persons who lived with the virus for years without taking the antiretroviral drugs, and I am surprised that someone is still ignorant about this basic fact. Can you rule out the possibility that she doesn't fall into the category of a long term non-progressor?

Additionally, I know people who used to go for their antiretroviral drugs by proxy. You are so sure that can never happen, forgetting that you are in Nigeria where anything goes. Those politicians and wealthy mean who are HIV positive, do you think they go to hospitals to get the drugs themselves? Her story sounds plausible, and you are the ignorant one here because it's obvious who know little about HIV and AIDS.

Funny you should say this. Ok then, let's talk statistics.

What is the probability that this index case is a long term progressor? And while you are it, what is the probability that this family fits into the politician cadre?

I am all for generating answers for the unfamiliar. It's fun spotting outliers. However this is not an academic exercise where one is compelled to discuss the findings of a research paper that is in contradistinction to global reports.

This is a case report and after all said and done, the likelihood of just one of your theories applying here is less than 0.05 . Now calculate the likelihood of all your theories applying at the same time in this index case scenario, and tell me if one individual can be so lucky in Nigeria as you put it.

I won't resort to insults to prove my point but I want to encourage you to sharpen your clinical intuition particularly in our environment bereft of basic infrastructure and man power.

DrAda:
Funny you should say this. Ok then, let's talk statistics.

What is the probability that this index case is a long term progressor? And while you are it, what is the probability that this family fits into the politician cadre?

I am all for generating answers for the unfamiliar. It's fun spotting outliers. However this is not an academic exercise where one is compelled to discuss the findings of a research paper that is in contradistinction to global reports.

This is a case report and after all said and done, the likelihood of just one of your theories applying here is less than 0.05 . Now calculate the likelihood of all your theories applying at the same time in this index case scenario, and tell me if one individual can be so lucky in Nigeria as you put it.

I won't resort to insults to prove my point but I want to encourage you to sharpen your clinical intuition particularly in our environment bereft of basic infrastructure and man power.

Now, you are trying to twist things to suit your narrative. Firstly, you said her story was impossible and never stated that were exceptional cases where an HIV carrier could be a long term non-progressor and live without taking antiretroviral drugs. Then, I pointed it out that one could actually live without the drugs if you are a long term non-progressor. I followed up with a question: "Can you rule out the possibility that she isn't a long term non-progressor"? The main debate here isn't about whether she is a long term non-progressor or not, but about your claim that once you are diagnosed with HIV, and you don't take the antiretroviral drugs for years, you will die.

Secondly, you said it was impossible for patients to get their drugs by proxy and I asked you a question: "Do you think politicians and the likes get these drugs by themselves"? Aside politicians, there are people who go to pick up antiretroviral drugs for their bosses and loved ones. At least I can mention at least three people that do that occasionally, and heavens did not fall!

Lastly, do you expect minors to be going to clinics to get antiretroviral drugs by themselves? Definitely, someone has to help with that or accompany her, and in this case, her grand ma was helping her with that or chaperoning her. I don't know whether your last statement is supposed to make me feel bad, but we are talking facts here, and I have laid down my facts for you to process. I might not be clinically intuitive, but I am a terrific researcher who is keen on facts and not theories.