₦airaland Forum

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to. Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now. It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep. Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Very easy.
Stop disturbing her, ...
She's not sexually attracted to you.
Don't force her.
Get yourself a girlfriend outside if sex hungry you. If your lifestyle forbids it, please stop disturbing people.
Allow her to handle other areas she's good at. Nobody is perfect. Life is too short ooo.
If you go outside, nobody is feeding you ooo.
Go outside, get an understanding girl, and get your sex. Don't allow prostate cancer to get you ooo.
Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Kobojunkie:
It was just an Fyi!

Sidechicks are already being traded as an excuse for OP to hold fast in marriage. Children traded as a reason... may not be too far from us.

No, you jumped to conclusions.

Fekumzi123:
➜Very easy. Stop disturbing her, ... She's not sexually attracted to you. Don't force her. Get yourself a girlfriend outside if sex hungry you. If your lifestyle forbids it, please stop disturbing people.
Allow her to handle other areas she's good at. Nobody is perfect. Life is too short ooo.
If you go outside, nobody is feeding you ooo. Go outside, get an understanding girl, and get your sex. Don't allow prostate cancer to get you ooo. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

He should get a side-chick— adultery— rather than a divorce? And this is your idea of wisdom?

SuperPanther, I wrote this last year. Please read

Onegai:
Bro, because you haven't started cheating, please let me share some tips.

She feels EXACTLY the same way you do, about you. Like if you dropped dead, she'd cry but also be relieved.

Now, you have 2 choices:

1. Blow up your marriage.

Seems easy but I swear to you, you'll regret it when you're older. Even if you do cheat and stay, she'll know. And I'm telling you as a woman, we can hold grudges till we die. If you want to be 65 and terrified of trusting a woman who has been angry for decades about your behaviour with your old age, pray continue like several other men.

2. Fix your marriage.

Sounds hard, but take my advice and in 6-9 months, you won't be on NL talking like this. You'll be grinning in delight, your wife will be your babe once again.

To achieve no.2, turn her into your side chick

You're the man, the marriage takes its temperature from you (even biblically it is so). Fill her emotional cup (it is empty, so she can't pour into you). Love her. How so?

- sit down and make a list of everything you are attracted to in a woman. Ask her to make the same for her ideal man. Exchange the lists. INTENTIONALITY.

- spend time and attention on her. If she watches kdrama, ask to watch one with her. Forreal. Kdrama has horror, suspense, political, love, marriage, thriller, action and sci-fi. Which means, you can actually watch something with her. Then make her watch your stuff with you. AFFECTION.

- date night: every weekend this December, find somewhere you and her will go to. I can give you tips sef. ATTENTION.

- send her a link to a men's wear vendor and ask her to pick what she likes you to wear. Then buy it and wear it. Now do the same for her. Down to perfume. Pay for her manicure and pedicure. Whatever you like, you lead by example. VALIDATION AND TRUST.

- every time you see a fine girl outside, text your wife. Tell her "I was just thinking of you". Chat her up. If she's on social media, it's because YOU DON'T TALK TO HER SO SHE'S LONELY IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND IS FINDING VALIDATION ONLINE. And there are several Balthazars in Nigeria (they just don't record it ). So be chatting your wife up, gossip, gist, funny jokes, se.xy talk. ATTENTION.

- Spend some money. Be it sexxx toys, lingerie, ankle chain (you'd be surprised what she likes). Books, whatever. AFFECTION

- Pray with her. Wake up and find a prayer on Pinterest, personalise it and send "Iremide, ....". LOVE AND CARE.

- tell her "Iremide...I don't want to just lead you, I want to be your king. Be my Esther. Look good for me. Please let me pamper you. Let me solve all your problems. The problems you solve yourself, share them with me, so I can praise you. Stain my eyes with your beauty and shake my mind with your wisdom. I love you". Tell her this twice a week. LOVE AND GUIDANCE.

- Look at your flaws and start correcting them. If you can't change, then neither can she. Change starts with you, not with her. Read that again. Go and read the bible, God is very clear whose He holds responsible for the health of a marriage. Change starts with you. SELF-REFLECTION AND RESPONSIBILITY

- Remember, you're the Head of the House, it's actually your job to lead your marriage. The reason so many marriages are unhappy are because men are being irresponsible and women are doing their jobs. RESPONSIBILITY.

There is no such thing as a submissive second-in-command who does all the work whilst Dangote stays lazy. Read that sentence again.

Do this. Work on yourself. Don't expect quick fixes, but start this December (I fit drop list of restaurants and hang outs. Come back and testify next year. Sha don't get pregnant o, because the last couple who did all this, surprise last baby at 46

So, it's upto you. Make your choice.

All the best

PS: Adultery and Divorce are the 2 worst things you'll ever go through and it is very sweet for people to dish out advice like it is TomTom. Adultery/Cheating destroys your soul and Divorce is like death.

I pray you resolve this and grow old with your wife

ReacherSaidNoth:
Nothing more disappointing than opening a thread and seeing it flooded with comments from that Kobo fellow

dt dude is nairaland landlord. he must comment on every thread.

When you say the Nigerian national flag has just two colours; green and white.

He will want to put up needless argument say black colour also dey there. Argue just for the sake of arguing to impress.

Kobojunkie:
He should get a side-chick— adultery— rather than a divorce? And this is your idea of wisdom?

How many you want divorce?
Getting a side chick is wisdom. After all, a man is not supposed to be with one woman.
Yes, you heard me right.

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to. Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now. It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep. Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Stop giving her attention

Start doing like she doesn't exist

Pretend like you're seeing someone outside

If she change, okay

If she still doesn't change... It's your call

Ishilove:
See those ones up there trying to normalise adultery. Degenerates

To be honest, Na so your gender be o.

Some women can be very problematic with the way they reason..

Additionally, when women know they're the only one their man have, they will start taking things for granted... They see it as a sign of weakness rather than strength cos to avoid temptations outside these days hard o.

The more you try to talk to them, the worse their behaviour will get until the man get tired and find another person or run ... That is when they will calm down

Is it until the OP start carrying women outside and impregnate another woman, that is when his wife will have sense?

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

You should get a girl friend! Stop being weak!

Kobojunkie:
Get a divorce and go marry one of those many beautiful women that are willing to be in bed with you... problem solved!

just because of sex, you'll divorce your wife? Nawaoooo

The solution is simple. Find a side chick base on mutual benefits. Simple

Go and get a side piece and stop disturbing us here.

PerfectStranger:
21 century men acting all weak and vulnerable. So you'll just watch her press phone till forever? Dont you have the balls to act like a man? Una dey amuse me oh.

Anyways,your type is what women term "understanding man"
Most married men have gone 6ft due to this 'Christian man' something.

.

So 20th generation man, what would you have done to show you are a man. Please i really want to know so i can apply same to my wife.

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Take her out on a romantic date.. or a surprise weekend getaway for strictly the two of you
During your conversations
Look into her eyes and ask her why she isn't attracted to you anymore...
Discuss further ..






End of story 😂 😂 😂

Marry another wife or report to her pastor

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Men and sex

Men live and breathe sex

Everytime sex

Sex .sex..sex

Is this sex food or oxygen ?

Tufiakwa

@Superkitty-cat.... Too late now fella. Continue to be a hard worker, provider and good Christian. Hopefully you didn't marry a former 304 with a high body-count that included a guy or two with exceptional other room skills. Tell her you need more loving, and put in a request with the/a higher power to help you in this matter.

Adaumunocha:
just because of sex, you'll divorce your wife? Nawaoooo

Lack of sex causes prostate cancer so yes he has the right to a divorce to safe his own life.

PerfectStranger:
21 century men acting all weak and vulnerable. So you'll just watch her press phone till forever? Dont you have the balls to act like a man? Una dey amuse me oh.

Anyways,your type is what women term "understanding man"
Most married men have gone 6ft due to this 'Christian man' something.

if we check now you are not even married but here you are dishing out ill advise

You men are always looking for any slightest opportunity to show how randy you people are

Shior!!

brain54:
Even though kobo can say ridiculous stuff at times...


She actually does make sense other times in a deep way.

In this situation I see nothing wrong or out of place with what she said.

Maybe you have a "pre programmed" or biased mindset towards kobo.

Sometimes we should focus on the message and not the messenger!

The preprogrammed mindset against her is well justified. She should stop capping like a junkie excessively.

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Exactly the problem I'm having with my wife. Just this night though I didn't find man on top of her but everything now makes sense to me. There is a drug she takes anytime we have sex and about 3 months now that she has been denying me sex, I checked the drug and realized she has finished using them.
My brother, once woman begins to deny you sex just know she is getting it elsewhere.

OKOATA:
Lack of sex causes prostate cancer so yes he has the right to a divorce to safe his own life.

yimu

First of all, build your body. Many men would have their wives thirsting for their bodies if they hit the gym frequently. Those men will give a billion excuses why they shouldn’t. Second, look outside. You said there are many Christian women on your case. Why let the opportunity waste? Third, use perfume regularly. Women react emotionally to fragrance. Good or bad, it’s better than nothing.

SuperPanther:
I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

/

Sex is a bait during courtship.

No campaign after election as such after marriage, sex usually dries up and both partners become casual roommates in progress. Many bachelors do not realize this. She is watching closely to see if you will stray. If you do, she becomes the victim.

Train your mind not to care much about sex and you will pry the power right away from her.

/

Year2025:
It’s barely our first year in Marriage, we’ve not had sex close to 20% of what we had while dating. You see it’s a different ball game in marriage compared to those dating.
My wife like sleep a lot, and if she manage to sleep before me, no option to enjoy the sex anymore. I know all her shortcoming and managing it that way.

A side chick will sort all your complaints. But you said you be bishop.

Don’t stress that woman, they usual come with one or two baggies after child birth

I think say na only me dey this category ...
I can relate on this perfectly, bro, don't stress yourself, do what you need to do

Well prostate cancer is real ooo... Try and beg her or look for something knack. Man no be wood. Pastors dey help themselves sometimes

duduade:
➜Take her out on a romantic date.. or a surprise weekend getaway for strictly the two of you
During your conversations Look into her eyes and ask her why she isn't attracted to you anymore... Discuss further .. End of story 😂 😂 😂

OP already has his eyes outside of his marriage from his own admission, so it would sort of be hypocritical for him to ask her this, wouldn't it?