₦airaland Forum

My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends.
I didn't have an issue with it.

But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.

This doesn't sit well with me.

I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

The message they are sending is to up your hustle! Do you gift them?

Feisu:
➜My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends. I didn't have an issue with it. But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.
This doesn't sit well with me. I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

Does the man in question directly threaten you or your wife? Does his sending money to her parents somehow threaten your ability to relate to them or send them gifts? What exactly is the problem here? Let us know!

I would have been worried. Buy the guy and his family are currently in another country.

Double0h7:
The message they are sending is to up your hustle! Do you gift them?

Do you always ask your brothers this same questions?

I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

This is the height of disrespect
You are just there to fill in the missing piece

Of course, I fulfill my responsibilities as a husband and a son in law. Hence, why I am surprised....

Juliette5803:
This is the height of disrespect
You are just there to fill in the missing piece

I do really feel disrespected.

People ought to have discipline and principles...


Why would anyone be collecting money from their ex when they are married.

It's insulting to the present husband/wife.

Money isn't everything!

Feisu:
I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

The painful thing is that it's not like this man is more hardworking than you are oh....na currency difference dey cause this disrespect!


ITS WRONG FOR THEM TO STILL BE COLLECTINF MONEY! THE MAN IS GROOMING YOUR WIFE AND HER RELATIVES!


I swear e no get how he wouldn't have sex with her anytime he lands Naija

Feisu:
➜I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
➜ If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

He may have feelings for your wife, so what? He has a wife of his own, and your wife is married to you. Are you looking to create the opportunity for him to get at your wife then?

2. You are not making any sense. Are her parents trying to take her from you and then give her to him instead? Is that what you reason they could be doing by their actions and friendship with the man?

stanvesco:
The painful thing is that it's not like this man is more hardworking than you are oh....na currency difference dey cause this disrespect!


ITS WRONG FOR THEM TO STILL BE COLLECTINF MONEY! THE MAN IS GROOMING YOUR WIFE AND HER RELATIVES!


I swear e no get how he wouldn't have sex with her anytime he lands Naija

That's is a selfish, greed; self centered, rubbish family. If your wife wants to leave u today they will support her. Like one yoruba adage says it's easy to have a bad wife but to have a bad in law is the worst. Any man or woman that has a good in law does not know what the kind of blessing they got. RUBBISH FAMILY. Sorry to say if u have kids hmmmm or dig more into her past.

brain54:
➜People ought to have discipline and principles... Why would anyone be collecting money from their ex when they are married. It's insulting to the present husband/wife. Money isn't everything!

Are they collecting it from him because he is her ex or because they have grown to appreciate the friendship they have with him, even though he is no longer with their daughter?

To put it another way, did OP have to buy his wife from her parents so that OP would now feel threatened by this man giving money to those same parents?

Feisu:
I would have been worried. Buy the guy and his family are currently in another country.

So, you are jealous that a man who lives in another country still gives gifts to the parents of his ex, who happens to be your wife?

Kobojunkie:
Are they collecting it from him because he is her ex or because they have grown to appreciate the friendship they have with him, even though he is no longer with their daughter?

To put it another way, did OP have to buy his wife from her parents so that OP would now feel threatened by this man giving money to those same parents?

They are boundaries to things kobo...

Or there should.

Friendships should also have limits!

brain54:
➜They are boundaries to things kobo... Or there should. Friendships should also have limits!

Boundaries set by whom? OP? The Parents? The daughter? For whom?

You can only set boundaries for yourself in a relationship, not for others, though.

Kobojunkie:
Boundaries set by whom? OP? The Parents? The daughter? For whom?

By the daughter and her parents/family...

You should respect your partner by setting boundaries not yourself alone.

If you care about only yourself then remain single!

brain54:
➜By the daughter and her parents/family...
➜ You should respect your partner by setting boundaries not yourself alone. If you care about only yourself then remain single!

1. They didn't set any such boundary, as is apparent from OP's reveal.

2. Did OP state that his wife does not respect him? Why assume disrespect when OP clearly did not state that he was disrespected by his wife in any of this?

Kobojunkie:
1. They didn't set any such boundary, as is apparent from OP's reveal.

2. Did OP state that his wife does not respect him? Why assume disrespect when OP clearly did not state that he was disrespected by his wife in any of this?

¹_ they obviously aren't in an open marriage...


²_ actions speak louder than words. It's not until she claps or plays panya on his head that is disrespect... The most disrespectful disrespect are the silent ones were actions speak... not the verbal ones!

brain54:
¹_ they obviously aren't in an open marriage...
²_ actions speak louder than words. It's not until she claps or plays panya on his head that is disrespect!

Please be straightforward!

Kobojunkie:
Please be straightforward!

Kobo I'm as straightforward as a DK ..

brain54:
➜Kobo I'm as straightforward as a DK ..

Not according to your posts. OP started off by making clear that he has nothing against his wife keeping in touch with her ex since he is married and they ended their relationship amicably. So, where do you get disrespect and an open relationship from?

Kobojunkie:
Not according to your posts. OP started off by making clear that he has nothing against his wife keeping in touch with her ex since he is married and they ended their relationship amicably. So, where do you get disrespect and an open relationship from?

Disrespect and disregard entered when she started collecting money from her ex...


Obviously the op was trying to be understanding and that's why he allowed the "friendship".

And It's obvious it's not an open relationship!

Feisu:
I would have been worried. Buy the guy and his family are currently in another country.

You wont know when they are around....Just accept your fate, your boo has a boo. Weak men everywhere. It is either u dnt try nonsense or you hide the nonsense away from me totally. She is doing it and robbing it on ur face 😂

Dey play, you are already in one chance.

brain54:
➜Disrespect and disregard entered when she started collecting money from her ex...
➜ Obviously the op was trying to be understanding and that's why he allowed the "friendship".
➜ And It's obvious it's not an open relationship!

1. She started collecting money from him, or, as OP instead said, her in-laws collected money and gifts from him? You seem to be writing your own script here.

2. Trying to understand? Are you joking? If his wife keeping in touch with her ex was a red flag for OP, OP's mistake was marrying her despite that. Also, OP already made clear that he had no problem with her keeping in touch with the ex. My issue is, why do you keep making an issue of it when this is literally his own statement from the beginning?

3. Keeping in touch with an ex has nothing to do with having an open relationship. Please look up the meaning of the term to be sure why it should not be a part of this.

Kobojunkie:
Are they collecting it from him because he is her ex or because they have grown to appreciate the friendship they have with him, even though he is no longer with their daughter?

To put it another way, did OP have to buy his wife from her parents so that OP would now feel threatened by this man giving money to those same parents?

They could collect from their ex-son in law and not tell their current son in law, if they did not have a motive.