₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Yes, it is understandable that his feelings would be somewhat hurt by his in-laws, but his in-laws are not his marriage, though.

Kobojunkie:
1. This is why I have a major problem with small-minded individuals. Your private anxiety do not impact the lives of others or their relationships. OP explained in his write-up that he has no problem with his wife communicating with her ex. Yet here you are adamantly making an issue of her remaining in communication with the ex. Why? Because you want to make sure he has the same hangups over a potential nonsense simply because you do?

He mentioned that the problem he has is with in-laws — he is not married to them but is rather an in-law to them by marriage— yet you are dead set on pinning their actions on his wife, probably because you cannot stand the idea of her having freedoms in marriage. Why?

2. OP never said the celebration and gift-giving happened in his home and space. From his write-up, it more than likely happened in the home that belonged to his in-laws. If they had celebrated in his home, then he would be within his rights to push them out and restrict their coming to his home after that.

LordReed:
I don't what to presume but I can see the pathway to someone thinking that. I would give the benefit of doubt till proven wrong.

emiye:
You are so full of BS. Celebration have to happen in the home for it to impact their phantom "marriage space". What if it happened in a public bus? .

Feisu:
I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

Feisu:
My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends.
I didn't have an issue with it.

But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.


This doesn't sit well with me.

I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

Feisu:
My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends.
I didn't have an issue with it.

But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.

This doesn't sit well with me.

I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

Feisu:
I would have been worried. Buy the guy and his family are currently in another country.

Feisu:
I do really feel disrespected.

Feisu:
I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

Feisu:
My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends.
I didn't have an issue with it.

But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.

This doesn't sit well with me.

I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

stanvesco:
The painful thing is that it's not like this man is more hardworking than you are oh....na currency difference dey cause this disrespect!


ITS WRONG FOR THEM TO STILL BE COLLECTINF MONEY! THE MAN IS GROOMING YOUR WIFE AND HER RELATIVES!


I swear e no get how he wouldn't have sex with her anytime he lands Naija

Kobojunkie:
Does the man in question directly threaten you or your wife? Does his sending money to her parents somehow threaten your ability to relate to them or send them gifts? What exactly is the problem here? Let us know!

Pzpropertylimit:
✓ Understand his feelings pls

Kobojunkie:
Not according to your posts. OP started off by making clear that he has nothing against his wife keeping in touch with her ex since he is married and they ended their relationship amicably. So, where do you get disrespect and an open relationship from?

Shedrack777:
✓ the disrespect is the in-laws rubbing it on his face when he wife's ex sends money to them. They should learn to keep quiet or not put it to his face.
➜ If the guy will do same to his ex in-laws, I'm sure they will reign fire and brimstone

Kobojunkie:
He may have feelings for your wife, so what? He has a wife of his own, and your wife is married to you. Are you looking to create the opportunity for him to get at your wife then?

2. You are not making any sense. Are her parents trying to take her from you and then give her to him instead? Is that what you reason they could be doing by their actions and friendship with the man?

AqualinaXYZ:
Doggy dey go on the low



Na u no wise



As a parent or guardian abeg channel more of your financial prayers to your male children



Wetin broke men dey face for society and marriage na war


If you were 100million rich all these rubbish for no happen


The security peace and confidence account balance brings is out of this world

Feisu:
I do really feel disrespected.

Double0h7:
The message they are sending is to up your hustle! Do you gift them?

budaatum:
➜But what his in-laws are doing is affecting him and his marriage and their daughter, is the point.
➜ Their continued action in this regard is likely to negatively impact him and his marriage, and cause him and his children to be hurt.

Kobojunkie:
1. No, it ain't! He is the one choosing to make an issue of what has no direct link to his marriage. Think carefully about it. The money did not come from his marriage pocket, nor did the money and gifts go to him or his wife. So, what part of this is his marriage?

Kobojunkie:
2. He could simply ignore them and live his marriage; he could keep away from their home since he claims it bothers him, and let them live their life as they choose. My make their marriage and their problem with his marriage? Why?

budaatum:
➜I think you are asking me to ignore the pain he has told us he feels from the hurt of his in-laws actions, and I can't exactly do that because that would involve me not recognising the hurt he has told us he feels.
➜ Now, if he were you, your above would be valid, but since we are not you, can we accept it hurts him?
➜ His angst is not that they collect money from his in-laws, but that they feel the need to inform him. And as I said, he is not you, so I don't expect him to do what you might have done. And I can see how his in-laws telling him would hurt him.
➜ If he were me, he'd probably not bother seeing those disrespectful in-laws as much as he does, and any money I might have given them will go towards schoolfees and chocolate for my kids. Fuq them, basically.

Kobojunkie:
Are they collecting it from him because he is her ex or because they have grown to appreciate the friendship they have with him, even though he is no longer with their daughter?

To put it another way, did OP have to buy his wife from her parents so that OP would now feel threatened by this man giving money to those same parents?