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In 2023, I finally bought a laptop with the help of my boss and mentor Sir Gaby. I remember grateful until the end of time. I went for Amazon KDP and swore never to give up, I kept my words despite the trials and tribulations I went through. Finally, I decided I have had enough, last June, I quit my job, moved to countryside so I can concentrate on KDP.

https://www.nairaland.com/7792340/journey-becoming-financially-peace-through/4#134843025

By September, despite lack of electricity and capital, it started to pay off — it started to generate on average $100 every month. I kept pushing and struggling with my biggest nemesis — lack of electricity. Since they paid every 60 days after sales, I had to wait. I received 3 months of royalties from them before they terminated my account with flimsy excuses.

By then, I had spent most of the royalties in the biz, and was also dealing with life problems offline. I tried to get back with the little I had left with another details on a private browser since I couldn't afford to get a new device, in less than a month, the account got terminated again when it started picking up. I swore not to give up, I created another account with another details and made sure every information provided was correct and of course, in less than a week, it got terminated with that same wicked excuses. They said I was providing inaccurate OR incomplete details which is absolutely false!

At this point, I have had enough. Depression and anxiety have overwhelmed me... I can't Even cry because the tears would come out but I looked at my momma today and I couldn't just give up. I'm going back to learning a physical skill, farming, and YouTube.

I'm depressed, angry, and I have come to the conclusion that success is easy but simple obstacles like humans would make you hate your dream. I just turned 23 on March 28 and I couldn't even celebrate or mourn my father's death anniversary on March 26 because these demons decided to give me nothing but more sorrows.

This diary would be ruthless, bitter, and filled with anger. I will do anything possible so I can shít on Amazon in the nearest future.

Ever since I started paying attention to this "YouTube automation" thing that's been trending — I feel like a bum and a complete loser. Matter of fact, I just came from Twitter... Yeah, I don't use social media but I tried to use Twitter when my guy was trying to show me how airdrops works. So now, it's more like an 'empty' account where I just follow and learn from others doing this YouTube thing.

So why do I feel like búm and a complete loser? It's just so funny seeing people blowing trumpets on this same YouTube thing I have been doing since I was a kid. I knew about the potential of the internet way before it became trendy but I also had to deal with a lot of naysayers. Like damn, they were just naysayers , they made sure I wasn't able to bring to life my ideas.

Mannn, fúck the world! Look at KDP, I have always been that dude who enjoys writing — like dude, you can literally find my writings here on Nairaland. I'm talking about when I was like 16... I just enjoyed writing. I wanted to do Kdp but couldn't because I didn't have a better phone or even a PC. Despite how my Itel phone lacked like snail, I remember using ilegeñdd's tutorial thread to open a payoneer account and Kdp account. But I had to learn that useless nwaboi apprenticeship for that to be possible; so, I was around 19 to 20. Bro, did you see the pattern?

I'm forced to blame everyone at this point but fúck that! My whole life and my ideas snatched away and now, I'm in my twenties, I'm getting fúcked in the backside by depression, anxiety, and all of the consequences of the decisions that were forced upon me in my teens.

God, funny thing is: I'm gonna fúcking die broke if I don't fight back like an animal. Nature doesn't give a fúck about me . Bro, so I'ma be one of those men who would feel normal telling their kids about how they missed out on internet money because of their demons?? God, hell no! Noooooo!

I'm also tired of fueling my depression and anxiety all because I'm broke. Like bítch, who cares? Motherfçcker, it's not like you were born with money coming out of your mouth! Why the fúck are you worsening our mental health, you stupid fúck? I'm sick and tired of that cycle! Our health is literally deteriorating! Enjoy the process, this stage will pass! Look at our momma, all she's ever given is encouragement and advices! You ungrateful fúck should be happy that superhero we call "daddy" gave us a better woman as mother! Phew, fúck you SuperOnyí!

So, yeah... I don't know what tomorrow holds. I'm back to YouTube and I'm hoping for the best. Let's hope they don't start blocking us like KDP (those useless scumbags). I'm gonna be building two channels. I already fúcked up with the first one by showing my face but scratch that, I don't care... No more playing by any rules, not even mine!

Farming? I don't know yet... Not feasible...but certainly we will be farming because we got go eat. Physical Skills? Yeah, likely. But I seriously hope I don't have to choose between that and YouTube. I wanna learn a skill but that also means I'm gonna have to depend entirely on my inlaw for basically everything—from food, water, transportation—that's how broke I am . God! What about internet connection? Damn, look at my life...

Imagine being so broke your whole life that people would shít on you and then, you start making some pennies that you hoped you turn to commas someday... Then BOOM! Some lunatics who are probably mad they ain't getting laid decide that your life should be miserable like theirs. Like bítch, I ain't getting laid and that ain't even one of my minor problems right now.

Imagine being so poor your whole life, you just smile when motherfúckers talk about how they came from a "poor family" and be like, "Are you serious? Is that even considered 'poor'?" Dude, I was so broke I only heard or see 'water system toilets' in elementary textbooks... But who cares: I had the best parents ever? LITERALLY! WHO CARES ABOUT POVERTY? I was just a depressed kid daydreaming and thinking deeply about a lot of shíts... And by the way, my depression and anxiety is my motivation.

Man, I have been so poor for so long. I'm not even asking for too much. I know money would "cure" a whole lot of my problems but I just need a tiny piece of this cake everybody's eating aggressively. Why am I been locked out? What did I do wrong? Why are you saying fúck me for, huh? I just wanna be able to help people — help my family, friends, community,and fund my scientific ideas? Am I that evil?

Certainly, this has nothing to do with evil or good. These billionaires aren't certainly the most religious or righteous on planet Earth. Like, WTF is going on? Man...

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Man, just lying down in this dark room since the light went off. Man, I deserve better. I deserve to be rich. I have the best rags to riches story, man! I haven't seen anyone who's got something better. My family is so poor that my big bro never got to get a formal education because taking him to a school for "special" kids like him would mean selling our community's lands. I grew up in a fúcking ghetto and thought it was normal seeing dirty muddy gutters...

Mann, fúck this!

I need to be strategic if I must win this war. Enough of being a loser. I won't upload any videos until I have actually created enough videos to put out.

I knew my life was cooked when I began to feel anxious as the thought of setting a target came up . It feels like whenever I set up these targets, these demons starts working overnight. They be like, "Oh yes, our favorite common loser! This dude can't just give up? What's wrong with this loser?"

Okay, I know I'm not supposed to be pessimistic but this shít just hurts. The crazy thing is: I'm literally what you'd call "fanatic introvert" but somehow, these problems find you where I'm hiding — under my momma's bed . Do y'all motherfúckers have no shame?

Anyways, ummm... bro, we got to go again... I know I preach about being intentional often, Lord please help me. Yeah, I'm shamelessly asking for help — fúck atheism. I don't care if you exist or not, still gonna ask for your help. You were there for me when I had nothing, when I made my first $100 (which is literally peanuts), and even now, I have nothing. I can't give up.

I don't want to write much, dawg... I just need change. I'm really scared and anxious but here we go...

Someone reached out to me and tried to give me some tips to recover my Kdp account but unfortunately, none of those accounts were terminated for the same reason as hers. So, I just couldn't waste my time in exchange for another disappointment.

Then, she introduced me to another biz which is still focused on writing. I was really amazed someone would do that for me, yes, I'm like that... I'm often blown away by kindness. I promised myself that I wouldn't let this opportunity slide. She even gave me the course for free even though it cost her tens of thousands of naira. I have been going through it.

Hopefully, it pays off... It has to, it will.

MY DEADLIEST ENEMY

I am my deadliest enemy, it's so sad how I'd be 100% determined at the beginning of every challenge and then, I find myself giving in to stupid habits that are detrimental to my mission. I have noticed this pattern billions of times.

I love to talk about intentionality but I feel like my willpower isn't as strong as it should be. I'm where I am because I have not fully mastered my inner self. For years, I have been living what I call "fast life," I no longer have that patience to slowly read a book, articles, and so on and indulge myself deeply in the process. It's like I'm always rushing through everything...

Even as I'm writing this now, I have to constantly remind myself to slow down, and immerse myself in the process. Something deep down tells me that my inability to build a strong financial ground is deeply rooted in a concept that surrounds this habit. I can sit down for hours working on something but never make significant progress because my mind is busy wondering around the woods.

Fúck OCD, fúck anxiety, and fúck depression! I want to be able to sit down and think deeply and craft a perfect plan like a genius. I still have self doubt within me, it's hiding deep inside so I never notice. I want to let go of perfectionism, it's bad for me. Tell me, how's it possible that I'm so broke I can't afford airtime?

Tell me bro, does this look normal to you? Absolutely not!

Why's my mind always racing? Why do I give in to bad habits even though I'm actually aware at that moment that I shouldn't be doing that? Yes, I have been having terrible body pains these days, but I just don't believe I'm being hard on myself. Laziness is trying to swim and sink in my brain, it's trying to make up excuses why I'm stuck, and why my intentionality is not needed. Búllshit!

Nobody is to be blamed but me—I'm the reason our mother is still overstressing herself! I feel so guilty because I know how powerful my brain is, I have seen that motherfúcker do unbelievable things. It's like I'm scared of something. Okay, I literally set those goals few days ago, and it feels like I'm slowly giving up. Or maybe, I look down on myself so much?

What exactly is wrong, Lord? Why is it so hard to break out of this cage? Or maybe, it's because I'm not acknowledging the fact that I'm literally starting from scratch. I came from the bottom of the bottom — the rock bottom. I can't even point at someone in my family that would lend me N100k willingly.

Why is it so hard to break out of this cage? Why am I giving in to my bad habits? How would overthinking help me? Maybe that's the reason I have been experiencing severe migraine and stomach bite for over a week now. I can't keep doing this.

I need to:
Be more intentional, I don't care if OCd hits back. If it means planning my day religiously and whatever I do (even how I eat), I will do it.

Do things immediately and forget about perfection. If an idea comes in, and it's good, execute it immediately. My major problem is that my laptop hangs a lot when I edit videos but that's not an excuse.

Be brutal, no more waiting for some miracle. "How do you plan to make money?" Writing and YouTube, and then diversify immediately! Straight answer! No more "God will blablablabla." God will do that when you put in insane work.

Practice deep work. Whenever I'm working on something, I must make sure my attention is fixated on it. And let's see I wanna edit a video, 90% of my time should be spent planning how I would go about it—getting the pics, vids, texts, ready. Then, next, we execute. I must stop getting into something before planning. That's stupid. Even if it's a very little task, I must make plans.

Go back to the Wim Hof breathing exercise. I need it.

Let's do this.

I just realized... No scratch that! Let's say my laptop has been one of my obstacles — so fúcking slow. Thinking about how it hangs reminds me of my first PC, that one was 2gb ram, and that shít was crazily slow.

Whenever I remember the stress it caused me, I'd feel better because at least this one is 4gb but I can't keep using it to edit my vids. I now realize why I spend so much time doing basic things. I kept trying to edit the vid using free canva because as you know I'm literally broke. I don't have a penny.

I use my voice since my accent is pretty clear enough... anyways, I downloaded canva on my phone and continued the editing and everything started going smooth. Damn, so my PC's ram has been the cause of my misery.

I'm so grateful to Momma, she was the one that advised I buy a phone when I got my first royalty. No regret so far. So yeah, after I downloaded the vid on canva, the audio got corrupted. You know what I did? I removed the audio (i.e. my voiceover) and downloaded it, then I went to inshot to finish up the whole thing . I loved that feeling when everything came out well .

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I love how undisturbed I have become, since I started becoming serious about controlling my mind. I have no regrets on finally making a deeper research on Andrew Tate, initially I found those Zoom Bomb YouTube videos where they used his funny videos to bomb people's video chats but now, after discovering videos where he teaches business and self help shít... I feel happy knowing plenty of people think like me.

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I no longer allow negativity, overthinking, or depression and anxiety to weigh me down. I feel more purposeful and not bothered at all. Love it! I now see depression and anxiety as motivation.

Even though I'm still broke, I dare to say I have achieved a lot since the last time I updated you. I have worked on four farmlands, I also followed my in-law to work, and I have created two YouTube videos so far with my friend — all of which were edited with my phone.

With God's powers, I resumed writing again, we created a KDP account over a month ago and we have just published one book. Hopefully things pick up. He's been really slow with YouTube but hopefully we get faster with time.

I also plan to create accounts with other publishing platforms. The tension is high, I'm anxious seeing others making millions from the same thing I put sleepless nights and my pain into. It hurts... but I won't give up. I hope to be making hundreds of dollars before August.

I applied for a contract with one of this fiction stories apps but I didn't get a response but I have decided to publish the book since I have a Kdp account now. I'm really anxious, I want things to work out. God...

I have stopped writing the fiction book so I can focus on putting out more books since I don't use AI. But I need to use AI more... I need to get rid of this stupid writer's pride. People I wrote better than are making tens of millions with AI, this is like the early days of Bitcoin — I need to stop this stupid pride.

Inasmuch as I want to provide value, I will always use AI to go faster.

I look forward to creating accounts with different publishing platforms. I'm doing this with my friend's detail since he's a European, it's going to be easier for you. I know it's scary because he can decide to take everything but I just have to trust my brother — I have no doubts.

KDP asked us to verify the account, I mean every detail used are correct. What do these people want? This happened immediately the book we uploaded few days ago started selling. The verification was successful, I'm so anxious and praying they don't strike back like they did the last time.

What exactly do these people want?

My heart is broken, but I can't stop. I hope all of these frustrations, assumptions, and restlessness pays off. I can't break down. I can't. I'm a soldier.

I have to be faster, there's no need writing tens of thousands of words. Now, that I have the D2D account, I need to put in work. They literally asked me if the book was from a terminated Amazon account and I said yes... I will have to write new books to prevent this nonsense. Even it's just 10k to 15k. I can do that with ChatGPT's assistance in a day or hours.

The draft2digital account has been banned with some dumb excuses, I'm so worried about the KDP account. I think draft2digital found out I was from Nigeria. I tried to access the Kdp account but things got messy — they refused to let me in. I seriously hope nothing happens to the account. Amen.

It can only get better — Amen. Thank God for everything. Looking forward to better days when the tension would be far lower than this.

God is the greatest. Thank you Lord for everything, may your name be praised above all other names. Lord guide my steps and protect my plans, Amen.

I'm hoping that I break into the $1k earning soonest — real soon. I haven't even made close to that but I'm hoping and believing in God. It might mean nothing to others but it's going to transform my life.

Imagine a life where internet subscription is jo longer a problem, where I can give my mother N100k without thinking twice, help my siblings and people... A lot can be done.

And while doing this, saving first before thinking of investing. Saving first before thinking of being the Messiah.

God answer all of our prayers and bless the works of our hands.

These network providers are doing too much! How can I wait all day just to work midnight and MTN, those despicable capitalistic baàstards would suck up 1 GB in less than an hour. The last 500 MB was literally within 21 minutes and I didn't even do anything. God punish these people!

I hope and pray to make my first millionssss before the year runs out .

It's been almost a week of relentless frustration from MTN. The internet connection has been ridiculously slow. At least one book is supposed to be live today. I wanted to experiment something. I wanted to see its growth.

You know what's crazy? I just switched it to 2G/3G and it became fast . I remember my boss schoolshoe once talked about this, thank you man. I was literally pissed up. Let's hope the speed remains like this.

I'm grateful to God and asking for wisdom. Things are looking good but I can't be at ease. No. We're going to be publishing after almost a month break. I'm really hoping and praying it only gets better.

I just found out it was possible to create an account that doesn't require verification all this while. Ah! I should have created the account and published trends while we were on break from the other one. I will create the account tonight by God's grace. I wish myself luck.

DAY 1 OF TRYING TO MONETIZE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND MAKE MY FIRST $1K ON YOUTUBE.

This has always been something I have wanted to do. Now is the time to go all in.

DAY 2 of monetizing my YouTube channel and making my first $1k.

I think about this, sometimes... It always seems like I have to put in work aggressively to make things work but others get it so easily. But sometimes, a small voice reminds me that it's just a lie being pushed by failure. That feeling that makes you feel like a loser when you FEEL you failed, instead of calming down to learn.

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I keep saying this, every time I try to be creative, I FEEL like it backfires. I create an original invention, book, or video, but someone creates a poorly made one or copycat and still gets ahead of mine. However, I'm reminded that as long as I keep pushing, I will reach that.

I hate this advice: "be patient" but in all honesty, it is good to be patient when you're putting in work — actually putting in work.

So I have decided to copy exactly what my competitors do. I can then squeeze in a little creativity but for now, f$ck being original!

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It hurts my heart seeing the video of the woman who was kidnapped, man. What a horrible country! That's why I no longer follow NIGERIA news. It just hurts, these kidnappers are so technologically advanced that these people drunk in power cannot get these animals.

But they magically captured MNK from Kenya? My hatred for these people grows everyday, I might become a monster if I ever get to hold power. Charles Kirk was right about gun rights. If we are so animalistic that owning guns would cause more deaths, then so be it. They are k°lling us daily, anyway. It could be anybody tomorrow. Kai, my heart.

Day 3.


The video I published yesterday has 0 views — quite discouraging but we keep pushing. I woke up today feeling extremely sick, the sleepless nights and stress is taking a toll on me. Man, death is so easy.

I had to call my mother to get medicine for me since she went to the church. I didn't even know when she came back. I just took the pills but I still feel very weak. My head's banging and my body temperature is abnormal.

Hopefully, I get back to feet tomorrow, I don't want to go back to taking medicine everyday.

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I can't wait to crack this YouTube code, now this means I'm not working tonight. I'm going to get the video I was working on since yesterday, I'm going to get it ready and upload. I still have 0 subscribers but we keep pushing.

YouTube must pay. At least, it might be better than KDP, I know they ban accounts but I can successfully make thousands of dollars and invest it in publishing books that will pay me monthly for a long time.

I really need God's need, man. My mother's words keep echoing in my head. She says I'm too hard on myself.

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I won't train today.

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Let me get the video ready and upload. Help me Lord. I'm hoping on KDP royalties to find this mission since they're a bunch of toxic sadists. They should at least fund me out of poverty. The royalties on Barnes and Noble is poor but we thank God.

The seven books there made over 8 euros last month and over 5 euros this month. They are all self help books. In my group, those guys are making hundreds of dollars there with trends but I really need to get this YouTube printing. Lord help me.

Day 12 of monetizing my YouTube channel and making my first $1k.


I have 2 subscribers so far. I thank God for the journey, it's extremely slow but I'm trusting and hoping it gets better.

Once I get home, I start working on another video

Day 14.
10 videos in,
2 subscribers,
28 hours watch time.


Edit: 2:52PM same day


I'm trying to see if YouTube would push my videos on the browser features option.

I noticed that this "suggested videos" option is half as effective as the "browser feature." I'm more likely to check out the video I see while scrolling through my video feed than what YouTube recommends after I'm done watching a video.

Most times, you don't pay attention to that. Most people don't even allow the video to finish totally or don't pay much attention to it.

I don't know why the algorithm focuses on pushing my video through that option. The result? I get more impressions but a few clicks.

I have adjusted my thumbnail over and over again, I have studied that of my competitors. In fact, I have seen the worst videos pushed on the browser feature.

Still looking at the algorithm... It seems to be cooking something.

Let's get to video 20 and see what the algorithm has for us. I won't give up!

Day 19.

I created a new channel as suggested by my mentor. Should I start counting afresh? I will let you know when I lost my first video on the account.

SuperOnyi:





Day 19.

I created a new channel as suggested by my mentor. Should I start counting afresh? I will let you know when I lost my first video on the account.

I posted the first video yesterday and God is doing something. Something is happening . I believe and pray I get monetized this year. Amen! Faith!

SuperOnyi:



I posted the first video yesterday and God is doing something. Something is happening . I believe and pray I get monetized this year. Amen! Faith!

Let me record this here, I've been hesitant — I'm always anxious when something good starts happening.

I have over 300 subscribers since I posted the first video, and the love from the fans have been amazing. I was supposed to post the second part of the video, I'm doing everything to see that I post it today. And I will.

This is so emotional for me, bro. I'm almost halfway close to the required watch hour. I'm praying to God everything goes smoothly, I will get monetized this month. Amen.

So excited and anxious.

SuperOnyi:



Let me record this here, I've been hesitant — I'm always anxious when something good starts happening.

I have over 300 subscribers since I posted the first video, and the love from the fans have been amazing. I was supposed to post the second part of the video, I'm doing everything to see that I post it today. And I will.

This is so emotional for me, bro. I'm almost halfway close to the required watch hour. I'm praying to God everything goes smoothly, I will get monetized this month. Amen.

So excited and anxious.

I just posted my second video, my watch hour is almost complete — around 3.5k. I still need about 600 subscribers.

I just pray to God for wisdom.

SuperOnyi:




I just posted my second video, my watch hour is almost complete — around 3.5k. I still need about 600 subscribers.

I just pray to God for wisdom.

The video should have crossed 1k views, I remain grateful to God. I also crossed 500 subscribers already. Over 500 human beings who watched my video and was like, "Damn, let me subscribe to this!"

Grateful to God but I won't be so carried away to focus solely on the people coming on board. My plan is aligned, if I give the people what they want, and make more impact, I will make more money.

I must keep that in mind, make so much money from this. So help me, God.


Edit: I have passed the required watch hour.

Bro, I think I just had a flop but I have learned something.

I was experimenting... I learned that if a title or thumbnail format or just any format is working for you, don't change it. Milk it until there's nothing left. And that is what I will do with my next upload. I have changed my title and thumbnail.

God help me, we keep attacking.

SuperOnyi:



Let me record this here, I've been hesitant — I'm always anxious when something good starts happening.

I have over 300 subscribers since I posted the first video, and the love from the fans have been amazing. I was supposed to post the second part of the video, I'm doing everything to see that I post it today. And I will.

This is so emotional for me, bro. I'm almost halfway close to the required watch hour. I'm praying to God everything goes smoothly, I will get monetized this month. Amen.

So excited and anxious.

The video is at over 30k views so far. I need less than 80 subscribers to get monetized . God, thank you. Lord I remain grateful even as a worthless sinner.

Help me Lord. Give me wisdom to print $20k in a month and stay away from troubles, Amen.

Commiting my next video into God's hands — I need to replicate and keep replicating.