₦airaland Forum

themanderon:
Are you people sure he is still alive?

He is alive.its been there for so many years.
His dad was layed to rest today.

Kobojunkie:
From your story, what is clear is that you were not an insider to this family and as such do not know the real reason behind why the man decided to go no contact with his parents after he left Nigeria. I suggest you focus your energy on finding out the truth, and stop going around telling these tales by moonlight that Nigerian airheads are notorious for.

Children who go no contact with their parents do so for very reasonable reasons, and most times, things are never as you think they seem.

Fishbrain is calling people airheads.

guobe:
He is alive.its been there for so many years.
His dad was layed to rest today.

Agaracha must come back someday.

budaatum:
➜So parents can rape their children, but the children should not cut off completely? Why?

Na the religious/traditional crowd be that— very evil entitled beings who believe themselves entitled to their children's attention and energy, no matter how wicked they have been to those children. I am glad the world is finally shifting in a direction away from all of that previous blindness. 🥱🥱🥱

budaatum:
I disagree. Parent's like everyone, reap what they sow.

Parent's who don't show love to their children should not expect love in return. And while our generation might excuse our parents' inadequacies and love them anyway, we must not expect our own children to love us unless we earn such love.

Each to his own.

Make he sepetu rhere naaa

budaatum:
So. You have heard of parents abusing their own children even though on the outside they seem to have treated their child well?

Its not only Nigerian parents or religious people, note.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0mwllzzyxlo

We're talking about a Nigerian family here.

guobe:
It does not warrant cutting off completely even to your younger ones.haba check am na

What is this "younger ones" nonsense?

They are not his children.

mmsen:
We're talking about a Nigerian family here.

You may be talking about a "Nigerian family here", but I am talking about human beings in general, since Nigerian parents are not unique at all.

All the same, the below is a Nigerian parent.

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2025/08/horror-pastor-rapes-own-daughter-for-4-years-blames-it-on-generational-curse/

Now, talk please!

SeriouslySense:
They raised a heartless Son, just because he went to a foreign land, can a white person come to Africa and do that to his family, we have so much inferiority complex.

Anyway, i dont blame the man, we have built a culture that lacks so much in family bonding and a stable environment, that we worship other environment.

Once i have a stable place in Africa, i dont care about any place , we have so much good, the only disadvantage is our mindset.

I remember that documentary of that girl from west Africa, crying her soul out that we wants to get to Europe , she felt lost in west Africa. If we were more kind, and helpful to ourselves, nobody will have this inferiority complex.

White people turn their back on their family everyday. They will be in the same city and refuse to interact with them.

mmsen:
We're talking about a Nigerian family here.

Here's another about a Nigeria family, or mother, to be exact, hot on Nairaland!

https://www.nairaland.com/8571341/mother-arrested-engaging-lesbianism-acts#137632948

mmsen:
➜ White people turn their backs on their families everyday. They will be in the same city and refuse to interact with them

. Most white people also don't typically have the crowd of traditional/religious folks we have in Nigeria, whose trade in gaslighting victims of abuse into keeping toxic parents— their abusers— close to them. Nigerians are a whole different brand of stewpid, who would minimize other people's trauma so they can claim a miserable win, at least, for their foolish traditional or religious delusions.

Caaz:
The big question is....
1...Is the guy still ALIVE?
2...Are things okay with him over there?

He cud be in jail

Kobojunkie:
. Most white people also don't typically have the crowd of traditional/religious folks we have in Nigeria, whose trade is gaslighting victims of abuse into keeping toxic parents close to them. Nigerians are a whole different brand of stewpid, who would minimize other people's trauma so they can claim a miserable win, at least, for their foolish traditional or religious delusions.

No disagreement here.

Russia happened to him that is why he is misbehaving ....

Probably

Kaliningrad aka WriteerNg aka WriterNg

Can tell us more about the young man's welfare and behavior since he is a Russian "citizen"

🤡 🤡 🤡

From the account, man was around 17-20 year old when he left the country, at that age, he is still forming . He formed without his parents around him, and his behaviour was not established yet. He became his own man and picked the western world attitude of all man for himself for the most part.

I arrived at his age of leaving by considering If he was an undergraduate studying medicine and left to study engineering, i believe that wiuld be within year 1- year 3 , and for a supposed brilliant student, he was not methuselah before gaining admission to study Medicine in Nigeria.

He might have been forcefully conscripted into the Russian army in the fight against Ukraine. He might not even be alive - for whatever reason. Do not say it is not possible. Simply contact the local police at the town of his last residence and seek their help in reaching out to him.

guobe:
In my former neighbourhood, there was this young man that was studying medicine in the university, a very brilliant chap and doing very well in his academics.

Though the parents were struggling financially, they made sure all his needs were met.

An opportunity came
then with the Nigerian Government giving scholarship to scholars to school in Russia and this guy was successful as he got a scholarship to study Engineering in Russia .

That was it ,he married a Russian woman and broke communication with his parents and siblings in Nigeria .

The parents were heart broken especially the mum as it made her fall ill and she never recovered from it.
She died and the son didn't come to Nigeria for final farewell.

The dad just died and still no show from him.
Just got chatting with one of his siblings and he said he is yet to fathom why he acted this way as he was well treated as a kid before he went to Russia.
What could have really made him to act this way is a million dollar question.
Life.

The first thing is to be sure he is alive or has been roasted by the Ukrainian firepower. Putin can do the unthinkable, European leaders says he is unstable and irrational

budaatum:
One thing I've learnt is, siblings can assume they all got the same good treatment, when the truth might be that some are not treated as well as some. And though some may claim someone "was well treated as a kid", they don't know how the kid felt about its treatment.

I say the above to add rationality to the actions of this "kid". It is also possible that the kid's action might be irrational, and that he truly was treated well as a kid and now just does not care about his parent's no more, or it can be that his new location has its on hardships that have caused issues for him so his thinking is bent.

If we don't walk in his shoes we'd never know his journey, basically, and any judgement might be ill informed and hasty, and is definitely a "million dollar question", and "life".

Kids don't use their treatment from the parents to act when they grow up, they only see it as discipline needed to become better person in future. Kids only remember or act when parents neglect or abandoned them and not taking care of their needs when they needed them the most.

This guy is purely manipulated by Rassian wife and culture, and like you had rightly said, his reasons were irrational. His decision to abandoned his people might not be what he wanted but forced to do so by circumstances beyond his power.

yemmit90:
➜Kids don't use their treatment from the parents to act when they grow up, they only see it as discipline needed to become better person in future. Kids only remember or act when parents neglect or abandoned them and not taking care of their needs when they needed them the most.
➜ This guy is purely manipulated by Rassian wife and culture, and like you had rightly said, his reasons were irrational. His decision to abandoned his people might not be what he wanted but forced to do so by circumstances beyond his power.

1. You don't know much about kids, do you? I understand this mentality that a lot of Nigerians have when it comes to judging their own parents.

2. Oh wow! You have never met the man, but you are already sure that his reason for cutting contact is his wife. Way to go! You are a true Nigerian to your core!

HallahGeisher:
The first thing is to be sure he is alive or has been roasted by the Ukrainian firepower. Putin can do the unthinkable, European leaders says he is unstable and irrational

He is alive and has been in Russia for ages.

maasoap:
They gave out information they knew about him you also gave out information you knew about your childhood friend, the stories are not the same. Why should we assume their information is wrong and yours is correct? Flow with the info you are given, don't assume otherwise

I didn't assume otherwise. I simply said everyone's situation is different overseas - while some people may be doing well, some may be struggling with different issues.

If one doesn't hear from someone abroad, it's not conclusive to simply assume that person abandoned everyone when he/her may be in a situation where they feel abandoned too.

How many people support people abroad from Nigeria? 95% of people from Nigeria reaching out to folks abroad from Nigeria want some type of support from them, period.

Kobojunkie:
1. You don't know much about kids, do you? I understand this mentality that a lot of Nigerians have when it comes to judging their own parents.

2. Oh wow! You have never met the man, but you are already sure that his reason for cutting contact is his wife. Way to go! You are a true Nigerian to your core!

I don't just say things withiout having alot of experiences or evidences, I have grown past that stage in my life. You can equally do the same, try to talk to alot of people in this situation and hear the reason they treated their parents badly or abandoned them.

As for the guy in question, cultural change and bad influence usually made people to abandoned their root. He is not the first, and he won't be the last person who will travel abroad and totally forgot their families in Nigeria. He must have been manipulated to believe he is Russian, and has nothing to do with black race.

yemmit90:
➜I don't just say things withiout having alot of experiences or evidences, I have grown past that stage in my life.
➜ You can equally do the same, try to talk to alot of people in this situation and hear the reason they treated their parents badly or abandoned them.
➜ As for the guy in question, cultural change and bad influence usually made people to abandoned their root. He is not the first, and he won't be the last person who will travel abroad and totally forgot their families in Nigeria. He must have been manipulated to believe he is Russian, and has nothing to do with black race.

1. Well, it turns out that, as grown as you claim to be in whatever stage of your life you are in, you still don't know anything much about kids.

2. I talk a lot to other people... have been doing that for many years on Nairaland, and my posts serve as evidence, and I can clearly tell from all of that you, as grown as you are, have no clue about children.

3. You are definitely yet another one of them close-minded Nigerians who do all that is possible to stay disconnected from the reality of things.

themanderon:
That's if he is still alive.

I swear

You are 100% right

You are right

Kobojunkie:
From your story, what is clear is that you were not an insider to this family and as such do not know the real reason behind why the man decided to go no contact with his parents after he left Nigeria. I suggest you focus your energy on finding out the truth, and stop going around telling these tales by moonlight that Nigerian airheads are notorious for.

Children who go no contact with their parents do so for very reasonable reasons, and most times, things are never as you think they seem.

Kobojunkie:
1. Well, it turns out that, as grown as you claim to be in whatever stage of your life you are in, you still don't know anything much about kids.

2. I talk a lot to other people... have been doing that for many years on Nairaland, and my posts serve as evidence, and I can clearly tell from all of that you, as grown as you are, have no clue about children.

3. You are definitely yet another one of them close-minded Nigerians who do all that is possible to stay disconnected from the reality of things.

Ok if I could understand you very well, the guy cut off his family probably because of pains or maltreatment he went through during his childhood period?

Ok, If you say kids can abandoned their parents because of the way they treated them, can you highlight example of those bad treatments during childhood that could made someone abandoned their parents?

Lastly, is it a sin to think like a Nigerian when I am indeed a Nigerian?

yemmit90:
✓ Ok if I could understand you very well, the guy cut off his family probably because of pains or maltreatment he went through during his childhood period?
✓ Ok, If you say kids can abandoned their parents because of the way they treated them, can you highlight example of those bad treatments during childhood that could made someone abandoned their parents?
✓ Lastly, is it a sin to think like a Nigerian when I am indeed a Nigerian?

For you to rule out the possibility entirely despite not knowing anything about the man except for they spewed by a third-party whose narrative reveals he took is a complete outsider in speaks volumes of your mentality. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Why should I waste my time doing any such when you can easily learn these things by making Google your friend? 🥱🥱

3. You are indeed Nigerian at your core. I merely pointed that out since it is obvious from, again, your mentality. 🥱🥱🥱

guobe:
In my former neighbourhood, there was this young man that was studying medicine in the university, a very brilliant chap and doing very well in his academics.

Though the parents were struggling financially, they made sure all his needs were met.

An opportunity came
then with the Nigerian Government giving scholarship to scholars to school in Russia and this guy was successful as he got a scholarship to study Engineering in Russia .

That was it ,he married a Russian woman and broke communication with his parents and siblings in Nigeria .

The parents were heart broken especially the mum as it made her fall ill and she never recovered from it.
She died and the son didn't come to Nigeria for final farewell.

The dad just died and still no show from him.
Just got chatting with one of his siblings and he said he is yet to fathom why he acted this way as he was well treated as a kid before he went to Russia.
What could have really made him to act this way is a million dollar question.
Life.

Not sure all is well with, he could be in prison.

guobe:
He is alive and doing very well over there.
His counterparts that got same scholarship do come to Nigeria and go back.

Do his counterparts tell you they have seen him and doing well