₦airaland Forum

X user shares how her friend's partner, whom she's now married to, beat them up with a 'koboko'

Another Tales by Moonlight... 🥱 The guy must be James Bond or Rambo, abi? Or maybe na kindergarten children him dey bully so he fit flog anyhow.

How a young man go just wake up, decide to be flogging people’s daughters up and down, and nobody fit reset him brain or teach am lesson? Even if the girls no get strength, their brothers and papa no get strength too? Abeg make una dey try lie with small conscience.

I was never flogged with ‘koboko’ while growing up and I don’t expect to be flogged now.

Everyday these men be doing the worst

A woman beater will never change, they can never respect women

Unfortunately, Many married women are going through domestic violence and forceful entry in their nonsense marriage.

But why do some ladies allow men to beat them? Maybe I'll get answers here because whenever I ask ladies in other platforms, they immediately get defensive and start attacking me.

Some women actually enjoy these kind of relationships...

Where they are beaten by their partners. I can't recall what it's called now.


They are women that want their men to dominate and beat them.

Yep!

brain54:
Some women actually enjoy these kind of relationships...

Where they are beaten by their partners. I can't recall what it's called now.


They are women that want their men to dominate and beat them.

Yep!

I still don't know the excitement in this beaten and loving up afterwards. My views towards abusive relationships changed the day a close friend told me she craved beating from her boyfriend.

Chilipepper:
X user shares how her friend's partner, whom she's now married to, beat them up with a 'koboko'

Maybe the friend and her partner were/are into BDSM.

It's how white people give evil a name to normalize it.

Met a very pretty half caste + SE girl in Kano.

Was molested from age 12 - 19. Poor guy had suicidal ideation.

Was shocked when she asked if I was into BDSM. The grapist exposed her to extreme p0rn0 for years.

The guy assaulting her was her unmarried mum's boyfriend... a policeman. She reported once at Station and was shipped back home to the man.

Evil things some men have done. He too now has a daughter.

I almost committed...

BDSM is related but different from this though...


BDSM is sex based. That means violence during sex turns the person on. Some just want to be beaten, controlled and dominated in their everyday activities and life by their partner.

BDSM is role playing.


I would edit when I remember the name this is called!

Masochism...

That's the word!

brain54:
➜Some women actually enjoy these kind of relationships... Where they are beaten by their partners.
➜ I can't recall what it's called now. They are women that want their men to dominate and beat them. Yep!

Wrong! They do not enjoy it. Rather, these are people with such a low sense of self, and extremely low levels of self-esteem that they feel those sorts of situations are what they deserve in life. The problem is that even such humans have limits. The moment that limit is reached, they are prone to blowing up in ways that way be fatal to those around them.

2. Such relationships are a result of having unhealthy attachment and trauma.

While there isn't one single word, enduring abuse because you feel you deserve it often stems from internalized self-blame, shame, or psychological effects like trauma bonding (similar to Stockholm Syndrome), where victims develop unhealthy attachments to abusers, believing the abuse is justified or a result of their own failings, a core component of complex trauma responses.
Key Concepts:
Internalized Stigma/Self-Blame: Victims may adopt the abuser's negative view of them, believing they are inherently flawed and therefore deserve mistreatment.
Trauma Bonding: A strong emotional attachment forming between an abuser and victim, creating loyalty despite the abuse, often with feelings of deserving it.
Stockholm Syndrome: A specific form where victims develop positive feelings or sympathy for their captors/abusers, sometimes seeing their perspective as valid.
Complex Trauma (C-PTSD): Prolonged abuse can lead to deep-seated survival patterns, including self-denial, a sense of worthlessness, and a belief that harm is normal or deserved.
Why This Happens:
Manipulation: Abusers often use gaslighting, insults, and isolation to erode a victim's self-worth, making them doubt reality and believe they are the problem.
Survival Mechanism: For some, accepting blame becomes a way to cope with unpredictable abuse, creating a warped sense of control or understanding.

In essence, it's a psychological response to abuse, where the victim internalizes the abuse as a reflection of their own inadequacy.

There is nothing enjoyable or healthy about such relationships — they are wrapped in abuse and trauma dumped from one partner onto the other. 🥱🥱🥱

i used to do same to my ex each time she misbehaves or tries to nag.



my phone charging cord saved me from using my fists .

Jennyclay:
Everyday these men be doing the worst

A woman beater will never change, they can never respect women

But your wonderful gender still went ahead to marry him with all the smartness and wisdom and SELF RESPECT she has.

They'll have the 'happiest family 'image outside and on SM.

Let her enjoy her pain

Some of you debunking her story are either abusers or just looking for cheap attention. Is her narrative unprecedented that you find it difficult to believe?

Stroll across your neighborhood and you will find multiple cases of domestic abuse where men use koboko to flog their partners. And if you try to intervene, you will get your share. I'm sure most of your friends are physically abusive to their partners, but you are quick to tag her story as false.

I have seen men use belts and koboko on their partners before, and even bragged about it. So, what is new about her story that makes it impossible to believe?