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Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyHelp! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. (2720 Views)

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Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Double0h7(f): 1:54pm On Jan 04
Op, you celebrated your children when God gave them to you so please protect them from this traumatic experience! Please don’t abandon them too! My heart breaks for these innocent babies 😭😭😭
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kobojunkie:
oldguyman:
✓ To raise the child that later the woman will still come and manipulate the children against him?
This is sad! For the longest, men would abandon children with the woman claiming the children would come seeking them afterwards. Women would buckle down and do their best to raise those children, knowing fully well that the children would likely seek out their fathers later on. But now a man has to raise his own children, too, and you are literally telling him to abandon them, too, because the children would later seek out their mother and be brainwashed by her? 🥱🥱🥱

So, to you, children are nothing but tools for you; trash otherwise? 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Onegai(f): 2:12pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
When my family called her this afternoon, she said she's leaving me forever that she's traveling abroad by next week. I've called her family and explained everything to them, but til now I've not seen any reply.
Stay calm and focus on the kids.

She's making a terrible decision but right now, you may not be able to stop her.

So much must have happened in your marriage to make her check out emotionally, go through the stress of making concrete moves to relocate and abandon her kids.

I'm not blaming you or exonerating her; I'm saying both of you messed up but she's handling it in the worst way.

Ask her family and friends if they knew (someone probably knew about her plans), because it's shocking that they would support her. But in cases like this, they really can't speak sense into a person determined to blow their lives up, plus they're likely feeling shame about her behaviour and will be defensive.

Let's submit this to prayer, the best people to speak to her are her kids, her family and friends. So put them on the phone with her, she needs to face the consequences of what she's planning on doing.

It may not work (because the Bible is right that Divorce requires a spouse with a hardened heart) but let's try everything until she leaves. At least you tried.

Pele, please keep your friends and family close during this trying time.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ibechris(m): 2:21pm On Jan 04
Then U need to check if u are the real father of all the children "make u no go end up training another man's children"

Your wife hasn't been truthful to u .
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ayomilore: 2:31pm On Jan 04
How old is she and has she been acting like having extra marital affairs lately?
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ope2711(op): 2:37pm On Jan 04
ayomilore:
How old is she and has she been acting like having extra marital affairs lately?
She's 37 and she's not been acting like having extra marital affairs before. But I noticed recently she changed emotionally and whenever I asked her what happened she used to say nothing.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kobojunkie: 2:43pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
She's 37 and she's not been acting like having extra marital affairs before. But I noticed recently she changed emotionally and whenever I asked her what happened she used to say nothing.
That usually means she has been having problems in the relationship with you but you both never came around to resolving it, and she eventually decided it best to check out of. It completely. I will tell you this ...your primary focus at this point should not be the woman who seems to have planned her exit for a long time and according to you, checked out emotionally long before this. Your focus should be those children ---:their mental and emotional health. 🥱🥱

Again, they are your children and it is also your job to care for them and ensure to greatly minimize the blow of what happened on them 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ope2711(op): 2:45pm On Jan 04
Kobojunkie:
That usually means she has been having problems in the relationship with you but you both never came around to resolving it, and she eventually decided it best to check out of. It completely. I will tell you this ...your primary focus at this point should not be the woman who seems to have planned her exit for a long time and according to you, checked out emotionally long before this. Your focus should be those children ---:their mental and emotional health. 🥱🥱

Again, they are your children and it is also your job to care for them and ensure to greatly minimize the blow of what happened on them 🥱🥱🥱
Thanks
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ORIAYO70(m): 2:50pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
Please house I need your help, the wife that I've married for over 14 years now just left me today with 4 children. We didn't have any issue before until 31st of December, 2025 when I discovered a photocopy of Nigeria passport in her bag and fighting started when I asked her what was going on. We've been dragging this since that day but today she confessed that she's already done with me and I should not worry about her anymore. She left my house this morning o. Today is the most saddest day of my life. Pls pray for me and my children.
Bro see this place called life is so unpredictable

Just be calm n prayerful u will get urself
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ORIAYO70(m): 2:50pm On Jan 04
muyico:
Congratulations 👏🎉 to you
Free from bondages
Quiet bro that wasn't bondage
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by manuelkel(m): 3:00pm On Jan 04
Kobojunkie:
Freedom with 4 kids? You mean Oo should abandon the children with family members like many you do so they --- the children -- can then raise themselves? 🥱🥱🥱
Ain't leaving my kids for anyone to raise.
Except am dead or I'm in jail.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by dominique(mod): 3:03pm On Jan 04
I wish we can hear her side of the story. No woman will ever leave where she's having peace of mind, I hope it will take long for you men to realise this. You think you're the only ones deserving of peace abi? Una eyes go soon clear.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kaczynski: 3:03pm On Jan 04
Feminists coming to feast over op and his post .

Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kobojunkie: 3:05pm On Jan 04
manuelkel:
✓ Ain't leaving my kids for anyone to raise.
Except am dead or I'm in jail.
If you don't already have an established emotional and social connection, do not feel ashamed to get books, some written by other dads, to hell guide you through to doing it correctly.👍👍
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by A4alpha: 3:09pm On Jan 04
We4all:
Your wife only left the house and you are already crying. What will you do if she decides to leave you forever?

When I keep preaching to people not to give birth to a football or basketball team, they won't listen.

Imagine if you had just a kid, or at most two....you won't even bother if your partner leaves you because one or two kid can easily be taken care of.
A whole loving sweet family you dismiss as "football or basketball team" reason why bringing issues here is not advisable, OP you should have gone to family section where familiar people will help your case.

I understand how you feel OP and speaking out will help you to heal, O pray you heal faster and move on with your life ASAP.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by kpankpangolo: 3:09pm On Jan 04
I don’t believe things I read online.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by advanceDNA:
ope2711:
They've eaten this morning. though they are not happy this afternoon, they refused to eat.
Their ages
4
7
11
14
They're resuming school tomorrow 5-01-2026 by God's grace. But I'm very sure they won't go tomorrow.
...na time to Bond with your kids more.....no be time to dey go look for another woman that will likely be a single mother to come in ooooo...no suffer those children by brining any werey stranger into the house....

.lucky you u have a 14 year old and a pre-teen...if you have maintained discipline before now .....baba.....u go dey alright with small effort
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Samantha125(f): 3:28pm On Jan 04
So you want him to punish the innocent children for their mother's flaws?

Legitimate children belong in their father's house and nothing is stopping him from conducting a paternity DNA... Only the results will determine his next decision, but until then, he should step up and raise those children himself.
oldguyman:
Take the kids to her family and act like you don't care. Your greatest mistake is allowing her to leave without the children. You should have just tell her to go with her kids. How sure are you that you are the real father of the 4 children?
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by A4alpha: 3:35pm On Jan 04
Move on already as the only reason why this woman will come back to you is if she fails in her attempt to relocate or being rejected by her lover but the truth is she had since emotionally checked out of the marriage long before now so don't even blame it on the fight because it is in line with her plan to create problem as an escape route and you fell for it.

Don't not allow yourself to be used as an option and don't rush into another marriage for now and the next 2 years atleast.

Good luck to you mister.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ope2711(op): 3:43pm On Jan 04
I
A4alpha:
Move on already as the only reason why this woman will come back to you is if she fails in her attempt to relocate or being rejected by her lover but the truth is she had since emotionally checked out of the marriage long before now so don't even blame it on the fight because it is in line with her plan to create problem as an escape route and you fell for it.

Don't not allow yourself to be used as an option and don't rush into another marriage for now and the next 2 years atleast.

Good luck to you mister.
Thanks
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by APOPTOSIS: 3:43pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
Please house I need your help, the wife that I've married for over 14 years now just left me today with 4 children. We didn't have any issue before until 31st of December, 2025 when I discovered a photocopy of Nigeria passport in her bag and fighting started when I asked her what was going on. We've been dragging this since that day but today she confessed that she's already done with me and I should not worry about her anymore. She left my house this morning o. Today is the most saddest day of my life. Pls pray for me and my children.
TODAY should be your happiest day, rather.
Are you telling me you will accept her wholeheartedly if she returns?
What if her motive of coming back is to finish an unfinished business?
Do you think such an adulterated soul can be trusted again?

Brace up and be happy man, that's an opportunity many men are looking for.
You are liberated. She signed off herself which makes it sweeter than honey.
You gonna have a Happy 2026 indeed.

Figure out how to fix the kids, that's not difficult if you have resources. Money stops nonsense. Finally, make sure you conduct DNA on all living creatures around you. The moment these women start acting like this, it's a call for OKAFOR'S Law
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by APOPTOSIS: 3:50pm On Jan 04
dominique:
I wish we can hear her side of the story. No woman will ever leave where she's having peace of mind, I hope it will take long for you men to realise this. You think you're the only ones deserving of peace abi? Una eyes go soon clear.
My sister, u don't have to marry since you are already having peace as a spinster.
Do you want to gamble with your peace?
Remain in your Fathers house, it's not a crime.
If men come around seeking for your hand in marriage, please make it known to them that you are married to your Father.
As a lady, you don't have to be married in order to find peace ?🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Gotocourt: 3:52pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
Yes! I'm so tired and confused Sir, pls pray for me
Hope all your assets documents are intact huh, you will be glad she left later📌💯.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ope2711(op): 3:57pm On Jan 04
Gotocourt:
Hope all your assets documents are intact huh, you will be glad she left later📌💯.
Yes, all are intact Sir.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kobojunkie: 4:14pm On Jan 04
APOPTOSIS:
My sister, u don't have to marry since you are already having peace as a spinster. Do you want to gamble with your peace? Remain in your Fathers house, it's not a crime.
If men come around seeking for your hand in marriage, please make it known to them that you are married to your Father.
As a lady, you don't have to be married in order to find peace ?🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️
Why would or should a man come around seeking the hand of a woman who has her peace, knowing he has nothing better to offer her? Isn't that the one of the Major issues even here? 🥱🥱🥱

For all we know, OP's wife may have never wanted to be mother but was baby trapped, not once but 4 times and then expected to handle them all even then. Society needs to free women so they can choose whether or not to want marriage.... without needing to lie that they are married to their fathers and all the other nonsense you lot pull from your arses there... And men also need to not
1) have only the number of kids they are certain they can care for all by themselves. Divorce can happen or the woman can leave too. So be prepared to either share custody or raise your kids yourself. So have only the number of children you can raise by yourself. Having no children at all is also a good thing for those who are honest enough to realize they are simply not cut out for it at all. 🥱🥱🥱
2. Have children only with women whom they are equally invested in having and raising them with -- you can't say because you are a man, you should not be expected to spare at least 3 hours of each of your day to pay and connect with those children you so very much wanted
3) Marriage is a team effort, not a Solo mission for both the man and woman involved. If your partner checks out emotionally, the marriage might as well end in divorce.
4) divorce is a logical end to marriage, not an abomination or a curse

P.S. Not saying any of this is OP's situation but something that all men need to begin training their minds well for.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by dawnomike(m): 5:01pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
That's problem I have for now, I don't even know what to do. Nobody is here except her children.
Where do you reside?
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Saybal(m): 5:19pm On Jan 04
Sorry bro for what you are passing ,don't take decisions in a hurry ,and don't let anyone guilt trip you that you are at fault . They are like dat .you have not done anything to warrant dat ,there is no love , is just a business transaction ,she has moved with the highest bidder.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by ope2711(op): 5:24pm On Jan 04
dawnomike:
Where do you reside?
Ilesha, Osun state
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Dogalmighty17: 5:35pm On Jan 04
I know this is painful and very hurtful. However, you need to realise that now is the time to show strength for yourself and your children. Any woman who can abandon kids as young as you have, should not be a mother in the first place. It doesn't matter what happened between both of you, the children do not have to suffer for it.

Take your mind off her, don't call her, don't text her. Embrace the pain and hurt. Let it wash over you. It will soon pass. Pick up yourself and move on with your life. You can get a maid or a family member to help you with your kids. On no condition whatsoever should you take her back when she returns. Because she will. Just hold your peace.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Kobojunkie: 5:45pm On Jan 04
Saybal:
Sorry bro for what you are passing ,don't take decisions in a hurry ,and don't let anyone guilt trip you that you are at fault . They are like dat. you have not done anything to warrant dat ,there is no love , is just a business transaction ,she has moved with the highest bidder.
But you are so sure that the woman is the problem? Cut the bull! 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by GboyegaD(m): 5:46pm On Jan 04
ope2711:
When my family called her this afternoon, she said she's leaving me forever that she's traveling abroad by next week. I've called her family and explained everything to them, but til now I've not seen any reply.
It is funny how some people think traveling abroad erases their entire history. How does traveling abroad imply neglecting her family? Please send her a text to wish her well but for the love you have for her, you advice she shouldn't travel to Libya or similar countries because the news we hear from many that have been deceived isn't any pleasant.
Re: Help! My Wife Left Me With 4 Kids. by Caaz: 6:09pm On Jan 04
Kobojunkie:
You mean he should abandon his kids with his mother like you did yours too? Because last I checked children at the major burden in marriage to men, not necessarily the wife whom many have no problem emotionally and mentally cheating on. 🥱🥱🥱
Kobo be calming down....muyico Oya drink cold water
Kobo came with brutality this 2026 lolxxxx
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