₦airaland Forum

otipoju:
Even the ones wey we dey house will try poison the children against the father little by little.

If you are the kind of father that does not play with the children and has no bond with them, she will succeed in gradually turning them against you.

If you know you want a friendly relationship with your adult children., be involved in their lives as children
bathe them, feed them, buy what they need and directly give it to them, help them with their homework and be available for them to talk to you about their lives.

If not as they grow older you will become a stranger that is merely being tolerated in your own house.

After you do all this make sure you take care of your own physical and emotional needs as well and plan for living by yourself or with a caretaker as you age.

Women are something else entirely. But if you have enough money to thrive on, it won't be that bad.

Guy, you said it all.

The costliest mistake a man can make is leaving everything to their mother and not personally involved with their lives activities from childhood.

Fatherhood is way beyond just making provisions or sending money. You must play with them, feed them, bathe them. They must gain your trust, your confidence and be comfortable around you.

But if you're the type of father that is not very accessible to the kids, you make provisions and if they need anything, you tell them to meet their mother, Ha! You're setting yourself up for bad old age days because they would see their mum as their all in all. You will become strange in your own home and even your absence will not be felt.

zenburster:
The woman has 2/3 children for the same man I believe?

And none of the children know him?

How does that happen?

Was he a sperm donor or what exactly happened?

A Christian musician.

God is great

A christain musician is not a minister

They are just like a christian in any other profession

Lesson to all women, when you r more, your children will look for their father and you won't be able to fight back from the grave

femi4:
A christain musician is not a minister

They are just like a christian in any other profession

Lesson to all women, when you r more, your children will look for their father and you won't be able to fight back from the grave

Dude, did you even watch the video of the way keep and the actual burial?

Those kids aren't ever going to look for that man.

He is only going to keep embarrassing himself looking for them

The day I was in my shop and about five women were discussing in the next shop and my own very neighbor who is a married woman said she will only love a man after he's dead and during the burial no one came out as mistress son. Funny enough, all of them said she's right.
I was too shocked to believe my hears.

Fast forward, one of the women, whose husband is a landlord was caught for adultery with a tenant in the same compound by the husband himself and was sent out of the house.


Imagine, the story that one will spin for the children against the man!!!

Onegai:
It's always upsetting to hear stuff like this.

Please may I give you advice that was given to my sister and it worked wonders, 3 years ago, when she was in a similar situation?

Play the fool. Do the utmost to be there for your kids.

I've seen a good number of people claim that their co-parents are keeping the kids away from them, only for us to get both sides of the story and find out that wasn't true.

One man said that his ex was keeping his kids from him, he was so believable. However, his entire family is in contact with his ex, even his friend his ex gists with him. So what was the truth?

One here on NL claimed the same thing, then he used his mouth to tell us he wasn't paying school fees even.

Another said he was a very present father...as in he visits once every 3 weeks but he's in the same city with the kids o. Dem don beg am tire make he dey visit him kids. His parents are the ones who stepped up for the kids. That's his definition of "present".

So please Oga, are you paying full schoolfees every single time? Like, once any bill shows up, you settle it sharp sharp. Have you bought a phone to be in contact with your child, instead of calling her mum (explain to her mother that you don't want to be disturbing her so you got your child a phone). Are you in frequent contact and are a present father? Leave pride, be calm and polite when you're on the call with their mum.

You're doing all these for your kid, who will be seeing your behaviour and learning. Trust me, acting like this ensures that your kid will always love and cherish you, her father.

My daughter lives with my mother(her Grandmother) and only visits her mother’s house during holidays. I regularly see her at our family home and take full responsibility for her upkeep. Occasionally, her mother buys her clothes and toys.

zenburster:
Dude, did you even watch the video of the way keep and the actual burial?

Those kids aren't ever going to look for that man.

He is only going to help embarrassing himself looking for them

Yinmu
After wake keep, all men will be for himself

Promises will fail from friends et al

Only families will be there with you

Prestar:

“I’m your daddy and have been looking for you. If you remember, I called your school years back when you were at Front Liner.

I spoke to you through the school line and told you not to tell your mummy because she wouldn’t allow me talk to you. I don’t know how she found out, but… https://t.co/KjPV3lxVRz pic.twitter.com/POeJaM1LY8

— Star Potter (@Starpotternews) January 29, 2026

Did you say the woman who committed this grievous act was a gospel singer?

ayoncox:
Unforgiveness can make one sick and die early

It is a poison that ultimately kills.

otipoju:
Even the ones wey we dey house will try poison the children against the father little by little.

If you are the kind of father that does not play with the children and has no bond with them, she will succeed in gradually turning them against you.

If you know you want a friendly relationship with your adult children., be involved in their lives as children
bathe them, feed them, buy what they need and directly give it to them, help them with their homework and be available for them to talk to you about their lives.

If not as they grow older you will become a stranger that is merely being tolerated in your own house.

After you do all this make sure you take care of your own physical and emotional needs as well and plan for living by yourself or with a caretaker as you age.

Women are something else entirely. But if you have enough money to thrive on, it won't be that bad.

There is a reason a man is the bread winner. You can never have those times u put up there. We deceive ourselves a lot in this country. Men and women responsibilities in the home are different and are meant to complement each other. It is pure evil for one to take the advantage of the other. If I'm always on the field looking for daily bread and u have the advantage to be in the home with the children, the woman should not take advantage. Is it that difficult?

lailo:
There is a reason a man is the bread winner. You can never have those times u put up there. We deceive ourselves a lot in this country. Men and women responsibilities in the home are different and are meant to complement each other. It is pure evil for one to take the advantage of the other. If I'm always on the field looking for daily bread and u have the advantage to be in the home with the children, the woman should not take advantage. Is it that difficult?

Maybe it's time to wake up and smell the coffee, women are working just as much as men in advanced societies, it is only in a zoo like 9ja that men still believe women don't work and even at that, there's a growing population of Nigerian women who are actually the breadwinners of their household.....E go shock you say most have been covering up for their nonentity husbands!

lailo:
There is a reason a man is the bread winner. You can never have those times u put up there. We deceive ourselves a lot in this country. Men and women responsibilities in the home are different and are meant to complement each other. It is pure evil for one to take the advantage of the other. If I'm always on the field looking for daily bread and u have the advantage to be in the home with the children, the woman should not take advantage. Is it that difficult?

I know you are not married with kids. So I won't bother going back and forth with you.

If he reach your turn, do am as you like. When you grow older and you are a just like stranger to your adult children, you would wish you had given them more of your precense than the presents you bought for them.

May we not repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.

I can see lots of inexperienced advises here! Let me tell you from my own personal experience once a woman blocks you from reaching your kids, 1st she's a bitter woman don't fight it- there's a natural law that will first destroy her plans.

2. You may risk all kinds of harm going around to get the kids or follow one crazy idea of be there for your kids etc.... custody is responsibility and what is not in your card God or nature even posterity will not ask you.

3. At the right time, provided you are not the architect of the failures, even if you are, there's limit to how you should begin the fight depending on the age of the kids.

4. Truth about the lives of parents will come to life sooner or later, you have to be alive first to be vindicated.

5. Any woman who stops you from seeing your kids automatically wish you dead. Know this and know peace

Oga I prayed you don't face such situation from this man, I'm facing the sam,my ex,after she cheated on me and I sent her out,even still forgive her,but she don't want to quit,I have to send her out,do you know how she's teaching all these kids against me?
Me that is extremely caring for my kids...
Pray you shouldnt marry witch as wife.....
I rest my case.

dominique:
Imagine if the mother had not died and one of these children become a famous celebrity and wants nothing to do with him. He will go and start granting interviews and crying to the cameras that his children are avoiding him. How can you be alive and chose not to be actively involved in your children's lives?

All this talk about their mother blocking him from seeing them are bloody lies and utter balderdash. Did she lock them up in a vacuum chamber and made them inaccessible? You're in the same country for goodness sakes, why not take her to court if truly she was preventing you from seeing them?

She's dead now, you know she can't defend herself, you now want to use the same lame excuse men have been using for decades for refusing to be in their children's lives. Kolewerk!

lordskenny:
i tried to figure out your gender and age. because you haven't understood life yet

dominique is a moderator on this platform. She is a muslimah and a feminist.

ruggedtimi:
My daughter lives with my mother(her Grandmother) and only visits her mother’s house during holidays. I regularly see her at our family home and take full responsibility for her upkeep. Occasionally, her mother buys her clothes and toys.

That's great but if I may suggest please, start bringing your daughter to your home.

She's your daughter. Not your mum's daughter.

I never used to see anything wrong with it, until a father corrected my husband when he did the same thing to our girl: he asked whose child she was. He told my husband not to shirk his responsibility in his youth, otherwise our kid would end up not being close to him in old age.

I've seen it happen: polite strangers or adult kids who treat their dads like Uncles as opposed to Fathers.

And I met a man who said when his mum was late, everyone told his dad to send them to their grandma's house. His dad refused and raised all 4 (3 boys and a girl) under his roof, never remarried. The dad is old now, they don't joke with him. That bond won't have been strong if they grew up elsewhere, they'd be polite rather than fiercely loyal.

Thanks and God crown your efforts.

Onegai:
That's great but if I may suggest please, start bringing your daughter to your home.

She's your daughter. Not your mum's daughter.

I never used to see anything wrong with it, until a father corrected my husband when he did the same thing to our girl: he asked whose child she was. He told my husband not to shirk his responsibility in his youth, otherwise our kid would end up not being close to him in old age.

I've seen it happen: polite strangers or adult kids who treat their dads like Uncles as opposed to Fathers.

And I met a man who said when his mum was late, everyone told his dad to send them to their grandma's house. His dad refused and raised all 4 (3 boys and a girl) under his roof, never remarried. The dad is old now, they don't joke with him. That bond won't have been strong if they grew up elsewhere, they'd be polite rather than fiercely loyal.

Thanks and God crown your efforts.

thanks

otipoju:
I know you are not married with kids. So I won't bother going back and forth with you.

If he reach your turn, do am as you like. When you grow older and you are a just like stranger to your adult children, you would wish you had given them more of your precense than the presents you bought for them.

May we not repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.

I guess Dangote, Elon musk, Otedola, Tinubu etc get time to dey bath their children. Only poor man dey fear old age, bcs they see children as fall back on. Get money, even your children will not want u to die at 100 years.

EmpressTitan:
Omo! Guurrrl...these men? Daayuuum. I know of one like that the woman was there when he had nothing, was a nobody. Nigga became somebody by wife's in put if you see shege promax e use her eyes see on guise say e dey look for male child eh?

they don't learn except to be blaming and slut shaming women. Them full mewolakas page.any pickmesha or man's page that can encourage and validate them to keep misbehaving, na there them go full.even rita Amy's page.that 1 even worse but I'm happy say she get daughters. Na she go dey advise men say the best way to get the best from women is to date multiple women but she no go tell them say treatment of herpes and gonorrhoea dey expensive. Those ones na flying monkeys and preek worshippers set out to destroy as many men and families as possible for traffic and social media engagements

SAMBARRY:
they don't learn except to be blaming and slut shaming women. Them full mewolakas page.any pickmesha or man's page that can encourage and validate them to keep misbehaving, na there them go full.even rita Amy's page.that 1 even worse but I'm happy say she get daughters. Na she go dey advise men say the best way to get the best from women is to date multiple women but she no go tell them say treatment of herpes and gonorrhoea dey expensive. Those ones na flying monkeys and preek worshippers set out to destroy as many men and families as possible for traffic and social media engagements

I swear.Like i really don't know if it's something in the air or water that is making these modern men dum.b, dum.Ber... Dumb.est. See this one nah + im money e still die stvpidly seeking validation from the same women they claim to be worthless. Shebi dem say the ultimate man that can do without a woman but keep harems of women groveling at his feet na billionaire like this man? Shebi nah the ultimate nairaland poster boy for dem red pillers be this so? Their brotherhood must be mightily proud of him.

lailo:
I guess Dangote, Elon musk, Otedola, Tinubu etc get time to dey bath their children. Only poor man dey fear old age, bcs they see children as fall back on. Get money, even your children will not want u to die at 100 years.

Do you know how many of Tinubu's children are drug addicts or deviants

Do you know of the first son that committed suicide abi OD'd on cocaine

We are talking of your adult children having a healthy RELATIONSHIP with you because you were involved in their lives as children not about wether you want to be dependent on them or not.

Na people like you wey never see any meaningful money before see money as everything...and of course the sycophantic society that you live in encourages you to do so.

Shey na America wey everybody get chance to get anything wey him want as long as your credit is good na him dem go dey beg beg like beggars.

otipoju:
Do you know how many of Tinubu's children are drug addicts or deviants

Do you know of the first son that committed suicide abi OD'd on cocaine

We are talking of your adult children having a healthy RELATIONSHIP with you because you were involved in their lives as children not about wether you want to be dependent on them or not.

Na people like you wey never see any meaningful money before see money as everything...and of course the sycophantic society that you live in encourages you to do so.

Shey na America wey everybody get chance to get anything wey him want as long as your credit is good na him dem go dey beg beg like beggars.

Ogbeni, money is what make people associate with u not nice posture. If u poor even those children u dey carry for head like Galla go deny you. Imagine your mama tell u now say na Bill gate be your father, u no go find am. Closeness go naturally flow bcs of money. I know a man my uncle whose wife left 41 days old baby and 2 years old toddler in his care and left. The man was the one who single handedly brought them up, nobody helped him. When the man old, the two children no send am, na my papa his younger brother go dey take care of him on sick bed till he died. The children were busy looking for their mother. Someone who fled looking for greener pasture. You wan follow woman dey drag children? Kwantiniu

lailo:
Ogbeni, money is what make people associate with u not nice posture. If u poor even those children u dey carry for head like Galla go deny you. Imagine your mama tell u now say na Bill gate be your father, u no go find am. Closeness go naturally flow bcs of money. I know a man my uncle whose wife left 41 days old baby and 2 years old toddler in his care and left. The man was the one who single handedly brought them up, nobody helped him. When the man old, the two children no send am, na my papa his younger brother go dey take care of him on sick bed till he died. The children were busy looking for their mother. Someone who fled looking for greener pasture. You wan follow woman dey drag children? Kwantiniu

I hope you know the world does not begin and end in Nigeria.

The way Nigerians lock the ass of anyone with small money is unique in the whole wide world.

Na so una dey embarrass una self when. Ispeed come Nigeria.

If you bond with your children as kids and actually have a relationship with them, they will remain with you all your life.

Wether you have loads of money or not is irrelevant.

Unforgiving spirit should be rebuke in our lives.