₦airaland Forum

I have an uncle who is a teacher that married a Lady , no skill or education.
He married her because she is fair.
Guess what , this uncle couldnt achieve anything throughtout his 35 years of teaching.
All his salary was used to pay debt his wife push him into.
If not for their first daughter that married a well to do man who helped him to build a house on his land he bought from his gratuity.
This man would have just grow old and go without anything.
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

Your obsession with light-skinned ladies lately is not without notice. You have focused on their character deficiencies so much. I am sure you prefer dark-skinned ones or have had few encounter with terrible light-skinned ones.

This would have been an interesting thread, if you didn't waste it whining about your usual story of blaming your "background" - it'll be a shame if you're older than 17yrs sha.

Meanwhile, I fear the prospect of settling down with an unskilled, or low-earning unambitious partner sha. Finance is one of the biggest problem in marriage, so best to make sure your partner can actually hold the fort if things go south.

But more than being skilled or having a hob, the woman (in this context) should be very generous o. Don't go for trophy wife eho thinks all they need to contribute is just birthing kids while you carry all responsibility for your head - a man already has enough troubles.

Imagine a lady, no skill, no education. No handwork.

All waiting for a man to come save her from the gutter she called her father's house.

After you pick her and give her small hope, she go come dey call you misogynists.

That's how those smelling feminists are o. They are all here on nairaland creating threads upandan.

Nothing good is going on or will ever go on in their lives until a man shows up

Then you hear I am a strong and independent woman

I knew someone who made an uneducated and unskilled woman his wife. He was a Police ....had three children ... got promotions .. never sent his wife to school ... retired ...died. The wife? ..bona fide housewife ... his entire salary went to her ... she gave him his "spending allowance" ... she took care of all the expenses ... took care of the children. He was happy with the arrangement ... especially knowing he had a gambling problem . The children are all grown up now... well behaved ..mannerly ...all working... now looking out for her. Been a happy family. One can always educate the uneducated ...or get the unskilled to learn a skill. The more important thing should be the character of the person. Uncle married a liability...a good looking liability.

Some of this type of ladies are like tools. A good man will know how to set them on his own course if he has one. You just have to provide food and shelter shikena

Who spends time with such ladies?
Why date such Ladies in the first place?
It's just despicable to marry someone with zero income or zero ideas. 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾

Wives are what you make them to become. Becoming a good husband is rooted in first knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Every woman fits certain men, and every woman that's ready to work it out with her man can make a good home with him. There's nothing like she's got skills or she's working and as such can support the family financially. I repeat, your wife is what you make of her.

As a man, you should be wise enough to understand what kind of a woman you should go for depending on your financial situation. If you are a school teacher and you've not done enough savings to set up a business for your jobless/skilless wife, why did you go for her? Is the problem now about you the man or your wife? Of course, you are the problem. It's your lack of wisdom that made you not to be able to choose wisely.

A man that's already well to do before going into marriage can confidently marry a jobless/skilless woman and cook her up with skills and a business. She can then support the family from that business. No room to shame her for not having a skill or job.

Some of you don't see anything wrong with shaming your wife, meanwhile, you married her. So, who's the biggest fool? You! There's nothing wrong if a woman is single and without a job or skill, but everything is wrong if you as a man go ask her hand in marriage without adequate plan to deal with her situation and make her productive. As a man, however you want your home to be solely depends on you.

It's not a good idea. In fact, it's a terrible idea.

All men that I know that did it, later regret it.

In all cases, the women never loved them. They just married the men for survival.

Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Originalsly:
I knew someone who made an uneducated and unskilled woman his wife. He was a Police ....had three children ... got promotions .. never sent his wife to school ... retired ...died. The wife? ..bona fide housewife ... his entire salary went to her ... she gave him his "spending allowance" ... she took care of all the expenses ... took care of the children. He was happy with the arrangement ... especially knowing he had a gambling problem . Uncle married a liability...a good looking liability.

At times life is grace, one lady I know did not go to school, trafficked abroad, met a white man, an engineer as olosho things, the man went for an interview one day in shell looking for expatriate in Nigeria, to edge out other applicant, he said he had a Nigerian wife, that is how he got the job and to keep up the rues married the girl, contract open marriage at first, the man came to Nigeria was frolicking around, money don dey, the wife gave him some children over the years and decided to get serious with her life, the man did not agree, so decided to leave the man, when the company found out, they almost sacked him, till the man begged and the lady said 70 percent of salary should be coming to her, who would have known that the lady's talent was real estate, she said when the man's salary hit her account, nothing to do with it, so she was using it as down payment for any real estate she could find, till she paid it out, that is how this woman made the man a multimillionaire within a space of 15 years, the man later resigned from his job to enjoy life with the wife.

5

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Whatever you do

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.


Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

pls oooooooo dont try to marry such lady ooooo na one çhance oooo , marriage is beyon yansh and breast oooo.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

My greatest fear.... Many ladies can't even hold a meaningful conversation....

Sometimes I just like being lonely..

As a man... Marry any lady that gives you peace and willing to stand with you...

Then over time, you upgrade her to any standard you want. If it's skill, enrol her. If it's education plan and send her to school.

The most important thing is to be with someone that gives you all you need in a woman.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Worse

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Elipheleh, my story is very similar to yours and it's been on for over a decade now.
3rd class, no job, no business. No ambition.
All she wants is a good life and money to spend.... and it is frustrating to say the least.

This is despite the fact that I broke my first true relationship of over 4 years because of this fear. I had seen enough experiences with my uncles to know it's not a good idea. All the wife would care about are her kids, watching Nollywood all day, and wanting the latest items they see on other people they gossip about. I discussed this with my wife before marriage that I do not want a wife like this and she said yes, ok. Only to count several years in marriage and she never stepped out of the house to go work for one day. I've designed CV multiple times and given her money for business. All down the drain because she has no drive to do it.

But I will reecho what honour8 said. I met my wife at a low point in life but ever since, I have found myself in an upward trajectory. Every big project I put my hands into, even though it's quite difficult and takes a long time, eventually turns successful. I previously had a cycle of 3 years of good tidings and by the fourth year I would be expecting some kind of setback but things changed since I met her. She talks about it too.

Now, I'm not so spiritual or anything. I have fought with her countless times and given her several ultimatums in this issue but it's just ingrained in her not to do/want anything other than her current life.

I'm not giving up on her however because even though her inaction has put me in dire straits when it comes to making some big career decisions multiple times, I choose to look at the positives. She's good natured, loves to care for the kids better than anyone else I know and does all housewifely chores gladly. Cook, clean, etc

Besides there are many educated Nigerian couples out there today with only the husband working. Even though the wife wants to work, there's no opportunity. So just manage your accounts and lead your family the best way you can given the situation.

..

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

I don't even know what to say

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

How much total did you spend on her

Sirchiboy:
How much total did you spend on her

N10000 each time she visited him over a period of three years. Would you like to know how many times she visited?

Sirchiboy:
How much total did you spend on her

I dont check those, but its quite a number..
From the moment i meet her my spending was out of pure intent.
Kindly remove the quote pls i intend to delete..

.

I am currently in a logjam. Feel like I am trapped. I am married for a year now. She is a graduate, but without any skill or job. I have told her to look for for a job, perhaps in a supermarket to support herself, but she keeps saying she can't do that kind of work. She is too big for that kind of work.

She has tried different kind of business which she has failed in. Last year she wasted about 300k of my money without any result.

She is currently doing POS, and I still give her transport to go for the business, yet no profit.

I currently feel trapped. I have not been able to achieve anything since I married her.

laivwire:
.She's good natured, loves to care for the kids better than anyone else I know and does all housewifely chores gladly. Cook, clean, etc

Then, maybe you don't have any problem

JohnAOne:
Then, maybe, you don't have any problem

I never mentioned that I have a problem.

laivwire:
I never mentioned that I have a problem.

Then, no problem 🤝🏾

Marrying a lady without a skill or education in this present economy is tantamount to entering a One-chance bus

...dem go carry you go where you no know

I nearly made this same mistake but God save me.