₦airaland Forum

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

😂No be only ọgbanje na ọgbanka😂😂😂Nollywood and Asabawood don full your head. People with a mindset of yours are dangerous to themselves and society at large. And a lot of people like you people the country in millions. It is well😂😂🥳

jessicahanlo:
As for pity, everybody dey reap wetin dem sow. Life lessons no dey cheap.

I am going to frame this

jessicahanlo:
As for pity, everybody dey reap wetin dem sow. Life lessons no dey cheap.

Deep
I am going to frame this

Justicepluto:
I dont check those, but its quite a number..
From the moment i meet her my spending was out of pure intent.
Kindly remove the quote pls i intend to delete..

He never removed the quote, heartless guy.
Here it is:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

CHIEFCHICKEN:
Deep
I am going to frame this

How many times will u say it? U ok?

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can

You need to be buy her fruits. Alot of fruits.
Try it for 2 months straight, you'll see a lot of difference

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.




What did I just read Ogah, I just feel pity for you. But na you cause this thing ooo. See bright guy like you with this Kain wahala. Why you try see her results na? The feelings for her for just die even with the pregnancy.
I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a
woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

My wife took her stubborn head ooo but I fought her and pushed her hard to sit up. Now she is into tech with ACCA certification with salary twice higher than mine and she is enjoying it. This is someone that read theatre art in the university.
You have to use HIGH WISDOM follow her up.
Also, I'll advise to be very careful while dealing her because of her continuous threat of suicide. it's seem she is very unstable.
You too, try going into some investment and limit cash flow in the house by pretending to be broke to see if she will change.

QuinQ:
How many times will u say it? U ok?

Why are you following me left right and center
Who be dis

Adaisback:
Op , be calming down o. I have seen a man that married a woman that is earning more than him but every little thing she will call the man and demand money for it even if it is pen or pencil for the kids.

I have also seen a man that married an uneducated woman , as soon as she came she started selling roadside rice and ofe akwu , today she is building a two story building for her family and the man even later lost his job.

Everything na prayer. Just pray make you marry a good woman.

Yeah, we know the race doesn't always go to the swiftest, and the strongest doesn't always win the wrestling match, but you don't bet based on that.
You don't marry an uneducated woman in hopes she'll start selling ofe akwu and build you two-story building!

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

You go dey one place, where you no dey go dey hungry you... Lol

I pity all these woke modern men that has been psyoped by Western media. The White man that gave you this new version of what a wife should be has the highest divorce rate in the world. Family institutions in the West are in perpetual shamble.

Who told you that a wife must go out to work? Which company did your grandma worked for?

Who told you that a wife must engage in an intellectual discuss with her husband? Did you grandpa demanded same from your grandmom?

Traditionally, we have gender roles, once she is doing her roles at home, she is good. While yours is to protect and provide. If you want intellectual conversations go meet your guys or join a book club. I don't know whats wrong with this modern woke men? Women are not logical beings and most educated women of today won't even stimulate you intellectually.

You dey admire female doctors? you don ask their husbands how far?. So you don't know that most highly educated women sees themselves as equal to a man?, they are mostly feminists. You will most likely have a hard time being in a meaningful relationship with them unless you're willing to submit. Celebrity marriages in Nigeria where both couples are educated and are working but union usually endup within 1 or 2 yrs should have taught you some lessons. Unless you're looking for a doctor wife to showoff.

Even in the US there are thousands of housewives living in their husbands Mansons. You can look it up.

She often threatening suicide could be as a result of an underlying mental health condition. You should take her for medical evaluation. Other than that she is good.

CHIEFCHICKEN:
Why are you following me left right and center
Who be dis

That was my first time ever quoting you.
Anwo multiple accounts, you don't know who quoted which!

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

This is where Umunna/Umuada comes in if you are Igbo. Report her to the family. Let them know that her mindset is not good enough for the kids future.

But you should have seen the signs. Las las the actual issue was you getting married when she took in. Cuz na regret full am so.

God will see you through.

QuinQ:
That was my first time ever quoting you.
Anwo multiple accounts, you don't know who quoted which!

Serenitys:
Go to any church and do a thanksgiving.
Nah God save you..

It pains me I couldn’t address the guy directly. It seems like he has deleted the post. He will still make that same mistake again of building up another lady he intends to marry for the second, third, or even fourth time. I hope he can see this comment of mine by the way. He made a lot of mistakes and most men should not fall into that pit. We all learn everyday.

As a man, make sure you’re better than your woman times 10. Women are naturally hypergamous in Nature. This guy is in question keeps developing his woman but never develop himself in other aspect and I can beat my chest that he doesn’t have the needed charisma. He also makes a mistake of contributing financially to the relationship without allowing the lady in question to contribute. Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the cards, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k. She has nothing to lose. As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

Justicepluto:
..

thomas2024:
😂No be only ọgbanje na ọgbanka😂😂😂Nollywood and Asabawood don full your head. People with a mindset of yours are dangerous to themselves and society at large. And a lot of people like you people the country in millions. It is well😂😂🥳

No mind am. Superstitions, na im keep us backwards for Africa.
BUT, whatever you believe rules you!

thomas2024:
It pains me I couldn’t address the guy directly. It seems like he has deleted the post. He will still make that same mistake again of building up another lady he intends to marry for the second, third, or even fourth time. I hope he can see this comment of mine by the way. He made a lot of mistakes and most men should not fall into that pit. We all learn everyday.

As a man, make sure you’re better than your woman times 10. Women are naturally hypergamous in Nature. This guy is in question keep developing his woman but never develop himself in other aspect ans I can beat my chest that he doesn’t have the needed charisma. He also makes a mistake of contributing financially to the relationship without allowing the lady in question to contribute. Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the card, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k. She has nothing to lose. As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

Here's the post:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software
developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.
Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go
wonder, except you want make another person
train your children.

I wanted to point out the spiritual part in my previous quote but mere asked if his wise was UNSTABLE. My understanding is the opposite of what you just pointed out. I believe she could be hindrance to him not to grow more than the level he is now (THIS IS HOW FAR YOU CAN GO). But there is something fishy about her

QuinQ:
But as you can see, they didn't state anything clearly at all in any of the cases. So what is your advice in such scenarios?

They didn't state otherwise either.
One claims to love medical doctors and programmers but was dating a 100L girl. What does she know about ambition or career?

Women that are ready to abandon their education or job for a man are rarely ambitious. No ambitious girl would get pregnant in 200L. They were only there because they didn't have a man. Once they get married, you won't see them with book or near an office again. The first man knew he was playing with fire. How can a 100L girl fool a supposed intelligent older man?

Since they say their wives are handling the home excellently, then they have to be firm on budgeting to avoid running into debt.

Every contribution mustn't be through a payslip and the actual issue is their wives are extravagant. Many women do not get that level of provision from their husbands and these ones are abusing it. Such is life. They can do whatever they wish with their wives. Other bachelors should take note.

Sirchiboy:
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

Pig ask him mama say why her mouth long?
Mama say.. no worry you seff go grow.

AllBlack:
Pig ask him mama say why her mouth long?
Mama say.. no worry you seff go grow.

Abobi I don get your id.
No lele

QuinQ:
Here's the post:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

I read it as you quoted it. That begged the reason why I drop my piece. I will never blame the lady but the guy. He fvcked up big time.

A woman's job is at home. To take care of the children, clean the house, prepare food, wash clothes and look after the home while a man's job is to provide, make sure there is food, the school fees, have a roof over their heads. Career women are the worst to marry.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Well you’ve made a mistake for sure but look on the good side, she can be good home maker, just put your foot down on the spending part.

honour8:
At times life is grace, one lady I know did not go to school, trafficked abroad, met a white man, an engineer as olosho things, the man went for an interview one day in shell looking for expatriate in Nigeria, to edge out other applicant, he said he had a Nigerian wife, that is how he got the job and to keep up the rues married the girl, contract open marriage at first, the man came to Nigeria was frolicking around, money don dey, the wife gave him some children over the years and decided to get serious with her life, the man did not agree, so decided to leave the man, when the company found out, they almost sacked him, till the man begged and the lady said 70 percent of salary should be coming to her, who would have known that the lady's talent was real estate, she said when the man's salary hit her account, nothing to do with it, so she was using it as down payment for any real estate she could find, till she paid it out, that is how this woman made the man a multimillionaire within a space of 15 years, the man later resigned from his job to enjoy life with the wife.

The woman is a saint in this story sha

Amaoforka:
Are you sure she is not depressed. I suspect you make her feel so inferior with always comparing and complaining. Maybe she is lost and doesn't know herself anymore. Its okay for you to feel the way you do. Your emotions are so valid but I believe you can look at it from various perspectives before concluding.

She is truly unhappy with some issues in life. I say so because sometimes by her statements she implies that life was tough while growing up.

But this uncle is a multi millionaire. I don't know how life would be tough there. And she is very emotional and alway feels disadvantaged.

But trust me her life was luxury compared to mine. And being a girl child too, a very pretty one at that.

I think her house girl stuff & experiences limited her worldview and aspirations.

These are the type of ladies that will one day tell their husband. What have you done. Marriage is overrated

QuinQ:
He never removed the quote, heartless guy.
Here it is:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

How is he heartless?

I know of a man who is always regretting for marry his current wife. The wife has no single skill, no education, lazy and can not think straight. She is not ready to work. Always depending on her husband for everything. She would always said that it is not her responsibility to feed the man and the family. All she wants is data to access Facebook and WhatsApp from morning till night. She is not taking care of the house well because of her laziness. The husband is frustrated. He made several attempts to push the woman but she refuses to go.

Sirchiboy:
Abobi I don get your id.
No lele

Hold the id well o, make e no loss. You know say you dey very careless