₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
You only have yourself to blame, oga. Some women are just not built to be ambitious and your wife is one of them. If you wanted a woman on your wavelength, you should have used a condom

Better still, used the pull out method. But hey, even that isn't a guarantee. What I preach is, just don't even think about shagging such females. It's that simple.

BarrElChapo:
Well you’ve made a mistake for sure but look on the good side, she can be good home maker, just put your foot down on the spending part.

She's a good home maker to the best of her knowledge and ability.

folake4u:
Damnnn.

You're not trolling right?

How I wish I was trolling...

EmperorIsaac:
Your wife appears to be a woman of particular comcern. Two questions though: is she faithful? Do you believe, deep down your heart, that she loves you?

To the limit I can vouche for a fellow human being, she is not cheating.

ariesbull:
You are in a deep hell... You have a big problem with you and pray that she doesn't pass these genes to your kids ... Very unteachable and incorrigible

I am already in a good place. I just wish she can just come up higher.
I want her to develop herself. Not that I need any financial assistance in the hone. I just want to know that if I am gone, she can be able to coordinate our family and the children won't lack.

Somehow, by some sort of a miracle, my children are intelligent.

Sirchiboy:
I have an uncle who is a teacher that married a Lady , no skill or education.
He married her because she is fair.
Guess what , this uncle couldnt achieve anything throughtout his 35 years of teaching.
All his salary was used to pay debt his wife push him into.
If not for their first daughter that married a well to do man who helped him to build a house on his land he bought from his gratuity.
This man would have just grow old and go without anything.
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

Your uncle was educated but he's an illiterate financially

You see those uneducated women, na they give peace of mind and when you marry them, and you are financially buoyant no wam, but if you are not, teach her how to do business and watch her hustle like a mad woman, let her learn a skill and see hustler.... they are tools it's you that will make the too work for you.....

I have a friend who married uneducated and unskilled woman, till date she's a full-time housewife, the man is rich his kids are studying in the US...

My uncle married uneducated and unskilled woman, his wife is the one managing the business he opened for her and she equally learnt catering too...

So many examples, educated women are difficult to direct and lectured because they believe they have known it all and more exposed but indirectly they are not, street is different from school room etc.... mind you, I've dated educated ladies and they are headache, na just tolerance,patience and endurance you go need..if you complain sef they say you complain too much and talk too much, I've learnt to stop complaining and talking

joseph1832:
Better still, used the pull out method. But hey, even that isn't a guarantee. What I preach is, just don't even think about shagging such females. It's that simple.

QED.

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

Na your wife you dey embarrass like this in front of strangers who don't give a F about your life?

Wow

Princewill1:
You go dey one place, where you no dey go dey hungry you... Lol

I pity all these woke modern men that has been psyoped by Western media. The White man that gave you this new version of what a wife should be has the highest divorce rate in the world. Family institution in the West is in perpetual shamble.

Who told you that a wife must go out to work? Which company did your grandma worked for?

Who told you that a wife must engage in an intellectual discuss with her husband? Did you grandpa demanded same from your grandmom?

Traditionally we have gender roles, once she is doing her roles at home, she is good. While yours is to protect and provide. If you want intellectual conversations go meet your guys or join a book club. I don't know whats wrong with this modern woke men? Women are not logical beings and most educated woman of today won't even stimulate you intellectually.

You dey admire female doctors? you don ask their husbands how far. So you don't know that most highly educated women sees themselves as equal to a man, they are mostly feminists. You will most likely have a hard time being in a meaningful relationship with them unless you're willing to submit. Celebrity marriages in Nigeria where both couples are educated and are working but union usually endup within 1 or 2 yrs should have taught you some lessons. Unless you're looking for a doctor wife to showoff.

Even in the US there are thousands of housewives living in their husbands Mansons. You can look it up.

She often threatening suicide could be as a result of underlying mental health condition. You should take her for medical evaluation. Other than that she is good.

It is a matter of arithmetic. I+0=1 BUT 1+1=2. Also, she'll value money more if she actually makes money than just handed money!

elipheleh:
To the limit I can vouche for a fellow human being, she is not cheating.

Then, as much as you are thinking for two without your authority being challenged, you have nothing to worry about.

sonofsteven:
Your uncle was educated but he's an illiterate financially

You see those uneducated women, na they give peace of mind and when you marry them, and you are financially buoyant no wam, but if you are not, teach her how to do business and watch her hustle like a mad woman, let her learn a skill and see hustler.... they are tools it's you that will make the too work for you.....

I have a friend who married uneducated and unskilled woman, till date she's a full-time housewife, the man is rich his kids are studying in the US...

My uncle married uneducated and unskilled woman, his wife is the one managing the business he opened for her and she equally learnt catering too...

So many examples, educated women are difficult to direct and lectured because they believe they have known it all and more exposed but indirectly they are not, street is different from school room etc.... mind you, I've dated educated ladies and they are headache, na just tolerance,patience and endurance you go need..if you complain sef they say you complain too much and talk too much, I've learnt to stop complaining and talking

I don't know how you people see this thing called marriage sef. This is someone that will be by far the closest to you and you spend more time with her than with anyone else by far, and the only person you'll be intimate with. How can the relationship be smooth if you don't speak the same language - and you have all sorts of experiences she never had?

BarrElChapo:
How is he heartless?

He asked him to remove the quote

pocohantas:
They didn't state otherwise either.
One claims to love medical doctors and programmers but was dating a 100L girl. What does she know about ambition or career?

Women that are ready to abandon their education or job for a man are rarely ambitious. No ambitious girl would get pregnant in 200L. They were only there because they didn't have a man. Once they get married, you won't see them with book or near an office again. The first man knew he was playing with fire. How can a 100L girl fool a supposed intelligent older man?

Since they say their wives are handling the home excellently, then they have to be firm on budgeting to avoid running into debt.

Every contribution mustn't be through a payslip and the actual issue is their wives are extravagant. Many women do not get that level of provision from their husbands and these ones are abusing it. Such is life. They can do whatever they wish with their wives. Other bachelors should take note.

I hear ya. Well said

Learning and following, I just got engaged recently to a smart intelligent girl but no skill yet and no degree.
Very young and smart.
I am a professional crypto trader, earn decent money, I plan to enroll her in a software course via online training and to ensure she's learning properly as I have background knowledges a little.

With all I have seen here I will make sure she have a high paying skill and guide her through.

Jangbajantis:
I wish I could give this comment a double like!

I’m glad you didn’t end this with bitterness, because honestly, what you wrote already shows balance. Yes, it’s valid to feel frustrated when expectations don’t align, especially after discussions before marriage. That part shouldn’t be brushed aside.
But I really respect your resolve to focus on the positives. The things many people downplay today, like cooking daily, running the home, raising children properly, being emotionally steady...are not small work. They are real labour, and they quietly hold a family together. If those things collapse, no amount of money or ambition can easily fix it.
Not every contribution shows up as a payslip. Some show up as peace of mind, stable children, and a home that allows the man to go out and fight life’s battles without worrying about chaos behind him. From what you described, she has clearly played a role in your upward trajectory, whether spiritual or not.
I think your conclusion is wise. Manage the accounts, lead your family with what you have, and keep choosing gratitude over resentment. That mindset alone already puts you ahead of many.

I would to copy that!

Thank you.

And I agree with the entire post.

Life lessons and human psychology have taught me that sit-at-home moms are very important to the society. Obviously, this works best when the husband is up and doing.

A very interesting thread. Wouldn't you love Nairaland?

delpee:
A man should marry a woman who adds value to his life but character is of utmost importance.

A woman should understand that being totally dependent on a man limits the growth potentials of the family. She is supposed to assist the man. The Bible describes the qualities of a good wife in Proverbs 31:10-31.

Lol

Oil workers' wives in the US are largely sit-at-home moms. All those Republican welders who work in the industry have SAHMs as wives. Yet they are very successful and earn a lot of money.

Men are suffering sha

See Lamentations everywhere. Yet when we say join the redpill so you can learn about women...you tell us we are broke and sex starved. Reading all these comments and the elegantly and brilliantly crafted suffering these girls gave the men just made me wonder: Are you guys not loved at home ni or what? Why would any man with balls choose to live this way, with the cheating and constant disrespect?

Nawa o

haybhi1:
Hi chief. I know you wanted to pour your mind. Sorry for your experience. I hope God make her change. It's not impossible. I also hope you find peace.
Meanwhile may I kindly inform you that I'm a penultimate medical student. And an alx graduate of software engineer. I specialized in backend but can't find work. Just in case, I'll be glad if you alert me in case of job opportunities in the t3ch space. Thanks

Focus on medicine.

Tech is 50/50!

Get your degree and move abroad.

God bless you!

SpaceX:
What kind of thread it this how can a woman not have any education or skills in modern times, it is impossible? Nairaland need to focus on high intellectual threads not this nonsense

You must live in town. U never go village. U never shee shomthing.

TechBaron:
Focus on medicine.

Tech is 50/50!

Get your degree and move abroad.

God bless you!

See wickedness. Get degree in Nigeria, move abroad to practice. WHO WILL TREAT US HERE??!!!

Wizklynd23:
Learning and following, I just got engaged recently to a smart intelligent girl but no skill yet and no degree.
Very young and smart.
I am a professional crypto trader, earn decent money, I plan to enroll her in a software course via online training and to ensure she's learning properly as I have background knowledges a little.

With all I have seen here I will make sure she have a high paying skill and guide her through.

"Professional crypto trader"
We all know what that means in Nigeria, especially those that get suddenly very rich!

QuinQ:
See wickedness. Get a degree in Nigeria, move abroad to practice. WHO WILL TREAT US HERE??!!!

Doctors who will stay, will stay.

My brother is a consultant neurosurgeon working in a government hospital in Nigeria

Each time I ask him if he has no plan to travel abroad, his response has always been: if all of us move abroad, who will treat the patients back home?

It's a matter of choice!

TechBaron:
Doctors who will stay, will stay.

My brother is a consultant neurosurgeon working in a government hospital in Nigeria

Each time I ask him if he has no plan to travel abroad, his response has always been: if all of us move abroad, who will treat the patients back home?

It's a matter of choice!

You go about advising the few doctors we have here to move abroad. What is wrong with you sir?!

thomas2024:
I read it as you quoted it. That begged the reason why I drop my piece. I will never blame the lady but the guy. He fvcked up big time.

I like what you said here:
Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the cards, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k.

But this part is easier said than done:
As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

QuinQ:
You go about advising the few doctors we have here to move abroad. What is wrong with you sir?!

I beg your pardon.

Are you okay?

Stay off my mention.

TechBaron:
I beg your pardon.

Are you okay?

Stay off my mention.

STOP ADVISING DOCTORS TO MOVE ABROAD!!!!!

Gerrard59:
Lol

Oil workers' wives in the US are largely sit-at-home moms. All those Republican welders who work in the industry have SAHMs as wives. Yet they are very successful and earn a lot of money.

Gerrard59:
Life lessons and human psychology have taught me that sit-at-home moms are very important to the society. Obviously, this works best when the husband is up and doing.

A very interesting thread. Wouldn't you love Nairaland?

It has to do mainly with the earning power of the man.
Tbh, i like stay-at-home mums.
They always have more time for the family - kids and hubby and fresh. Not stressed out.
Most wives in Lekki at stay-at-home mums or just doing one minor stress-free biz just to keep them slightly busy.
My wife is a stay-at-home mum and i give her with the 2 kids 500k per month for upkeep excluding me and i still have more than enough for myself.
The question now is, how many men even earn the feeding money in a month?
How many house hold ( both husband and wife working) earn 500k a month?
Even if my wife is working or a woman decides to work, how many of them are even going to earn 150k to 200k a month to make a tangible contribution to the man?
Abi no be this nigeria again where na so so 30k, 50k per month job full ground?

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

If u are a good actor. I could have said pretend has if u are broke.
One day just called her tell her that u want to make an investment that will bring more income.
After some days call her and tell her that they have scammed u.
Withdraw ur kids from the present school to a low budget school blame her find a way to blame her for not being a supportive woman.
Try and see how it goes she may wake up from her sleep

Marrying a girl without zero skills and zero education is like marrying olosho

QuinQ:
STOP ADVISING DOCTORS TO MOVE ABROAD!!!!!

I will

Do your worst!