₦airaland Forum

Sirchiboy:
Abobi I don get your id.
No lele

U don finish to get your senior brother ID and to dey check him account balance because he no give you money? finish with that one first before you near me.

Marrying a lady without skill or education is not the problem. Being a full housewife is not a problem either. There are more dimensions to marriage than that. There are educated fools and skillful useless people.

I married an educated person who likes doing business but business does not like her. For more than twenty years, she cannot point to anything. She borrows so much to achieve nothing. In fact, she learned catering services from a senior colleague from her place of work - government work. She gets engaged being a good cook but to separate profit from work is difficult. After much talk and frustration, i thought I made a mistake. I should have married a lady with little education with strong business sense or full housewife who is not forcing me into debts.

Besides, there are some women, being in your life, door of wealth will be opening to you. She will there making you happy and rest of mind an whatever you do, you prosper. And there are men that have pushed such women out and entered into serious crisis remarrying sophisticated women.

Gerrard59:
Lol

Oil workers' wives in the US are largely sit-at-home moms. All those Republican welders who work in the industry have SAHMs as wives. [/b]Yet they are very successful and earn a lot of money.

[b]Premium peace Be Unto You


Nb: Everything I'll be typing here is learnt from you.


True, but these are rich people you are talking about. Life of a man isn't easy, hence you shouldn't have more than two kids. This is because as a man you have your life to live and enjoy. Now imagine getting married to someone whose life solely depends on you. If you have the money fine, but don't get married to a liability all in the name of "I'm a man". There's a reason why your wife is called your partner.

themountain:
I am currently in a logjam. Feel like I am trapped. I am married for a year now. She is a graduate, but without any skill or job. I have told her to look for for a job, perhaps in a supermarket to support herself, but she keeps saying she can't do that kind of work. She is too big for that kind of work.

She has tried different kind of business which she has failed in. Last year she wasted about 300k of my money without any result.

She is currently doing POS, and I still give her transport to go for the business, yet no profit.

I currently feel trapped. I have not been able to achieve anything since I married her.

Similar pull-back syndrome I experienced earlier in marriage. Mine even steals and lie alot. But I kept hopes (by letting her feel bad about the behavior, giving are reasons why she needs a job, I stopped offering kind gestures to my in-laws, transferred some home responsibilities to her). Now I live happier. My mental and emotional life is kinda balanced. No unnecessary pressure to meet the demands of another adult.

SpaceX:
What kind of thread it this how can a woman not have any education or skills in modern times, it is impossible? Nairaland need to focus on high intellectual threads not this nonsense

It's like you never meet Whatsapp perfume vendors

samuelson06:
Wives are what you make them to become. Becoming a good husband is rooted in first knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Every woman fits certain men, and every woman that's ready to work it out with her man can make a good home with him. There's nothing like she's got skills or she's working and as such can support the family financially. I repeat, your wife is what you make of her.

As a man, you should be wise enough to understand what kind of a woman you should go for depending on your financial situation. If you are a school teacher and you've not done enough savings to set up a business for your jobless/skilless wife, why did you go for her? Is the problem now about you the man or your wife? Of course, you are the problem. It's your lack of wisdom that made you not to be able to choose wisely.

A man that's already well to do before going into marriage can confidently marry a jobless/skilless woman and cook her up with skills and a business. She can then support the family from that business. No room to shame her for not having a skill or job.

Some of you don't see anything wrong with shaming your wife, meanwhile, you married her. So, who's the biggest fool? You! There's nothing wrong if a woman is single and without a job or skill, but everything is wrong if you as a man go ask her hand in marriage without adequate plan to deal with her situation and make her productive. As a man, however you want your home to be solely depends on you.

Where una dey get all this rvbb!ish sense from??
And you're a man sounding like this!
Or are you a woman??

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

The usual Nigerian superstitious rvbb!sh!

TechBaron:
I will

Do your worst!

YarahooBoy in disguise. Tech baron my foot!

honour8:
What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

I just learnt from you bro

sonofsteven:
Your uncle was educated but he's an illiterate financially

You see those uneducated women, na they give peace of mind and when you marry them, and you are financially buoyant no wam, but if you are not, teach her how to do business and watch her hustle like a mad woman, let her learn a skill and see hustler.... they are tools it's you that will make the too work for you.....

I have a friend who married uneducated and unskilled woman, till date she's a full-time housewife, the man is rich his kids are studying in the US...

My uncle married uneducated and unskilled woman, his wife is the one managing the business he opened for her and she equally learnt catering too...

So many examples, educated women are difficult to direct and lectured because they believe they have known it all and more exposed but indirectly they are not, street is different from school room etc.... mind you, I've dated educated ladies and they are headache, na just tolerance,patience and endurance you go need..if you complain sef they say you complain too much and talk too much, I've learnt to stop complaining and talking

Housewife is better if one is very wealthy. They are more submissive

MightySparrow:
Marrying a lady without skill or education is not the problem. Being a full housewife is not a problem either. There are more dimensions to marriage than that. There are educated fools and skillful useless people.

I married an educated person who likes doing business but business does not like her. For more than twenty years, she cannot point to anything. She borrows so much to achieve nothing. In fact, she learned catering services from a senior colleague from her place of work - government work. She gets engaged being a good cook but to separate profit from work is difficult. After much talk and frustration, i thought I made a mistake. I should have married a lady with little education with strong business sense or full housewife who is not forcing me into debts.

Besides, there are some women, being in your life, door of wealth will be opening to you. She will there making you happy and rest of mind an whatever you do, you prosper. And there are men that have pushed such women out and entered suppointo serious crisis remarrying sophisticated women.

This is true. I was just thinking, suppose Jesus was female, daughter of a common carpenter. Someone would choose a wealthy man's daughter over her - not knowing they just missed marrying the Daughter of God!
So, there are things people come to this world with that are beyond any worldly thing or education.

Sirchiboy:
I have an uncle who is a teacher that married a Lady , no skill or education.
He married her because she is fair.
Guess what , this uncle couldnt achieve anything throughtout his 35 years of teaching.
All his salary was used to pay debt his wife push him into.
If not for their first daughter that married a well to do man who helped him to build a house on his land he bought from his gratuity.
This man would have just grow old and go without anything.
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

It was a long term investment. I am sure his daughter is equally fair, from her mum's Genes. Now the ROI came in at retirement. Nothing to pity him about, he was strategic, cant you see?

Sirchiboy:
I have an uncle who is a teacher that married a Lady , no skill or education.
He married her because she is fair.
Guess what , this uncle couldnt achieve anything throughtout his 35 years of teaching.
All his salary was used to pay debt his wife push him into.
If not for their first daughter that married a well to do man who helped him to build a house on his land he bought from his gratuity.
This man would have just grow old and go without anything.
I don't pity him because he caused and brought that upon himself.

You should pity him
They never had access to internet or information like you do today
Society or culture predominantly told them what to do & they abide by it

Sirchiboy:
How much total did you spend on her

This guy! You and childish questions are like 5&6

Some men forget that marriage is partnership, not charity. If one person is carrying everything financially and mentally, resentment is inevitable

TechBaron:
I beg your pardon.

Are you okay?

Stay off my mention.

😆😆😆😆😆

[quote author=Sirchiboy post=138328787]How much total did you spend on

Na why men dey quick die be this 😭😂

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

APOPTOSIS:
Seems you're from Pluto.
Haven't you seen empty Ladies who solely rely on their bodies to assume the position of authority in any endeavor?

No be small Pluto that guy dey

Originalsly:
I knew someone who made an uneducated and unskilled woman his wife. He was a Police ....had three children ... got promotions .. never sent his wife to school ... retired ...died. The wife? ..bona fide housewife ... his entire salary went to her ... she gave him his "spending allowance" ... she took care of all the expenses ... took care of the children. He was happy with the arrangement ... especially knowing he had a gambling problem . The children are all grown up now... well behaved ..mannerly ...all working... now looking out for her. Been a happy family. One can always educate the uneducated ...or get the unskilled to learn a skill. The more important thing should be the character of the person. Uncle married a liability...a good looking liability.

When E reach your turn marry and Unskilled and uneducated woman.
This is 2026, there is no xcuse for any human not to be at least educated to the minimum and learn a skill. man or woman, You owe it to God to at least be productive.There so many skills and trades to learn.A man can then invest in you, this is the true meaning of waht you bring to the table, not yellowness,big nyash or boby

elipheleh:
Marrying an unintelligent woman is really the worst mistake a man can make.

If I can reverse the Hands of clock I wont go for my current wife.

Well, I always loved an intellectually sound woman. It trips me. Something like a medical doctor or a programmer lady. At minimum a working class lady. Both intellect and beauty trips me.

I imagined a marriage where I'll be on thesame frequency.

I am a 1st class material but financial burden made me drop to second class upper in my 3rd year to 5th year.

I always knew I was going far in life and needed a woman who wanted to go far too.

When I met my wife she was very beautiful, speaks very well and in her 1st year. Each time I asked about her studies she would convince me how she was the best in her class and this and that.

Ask for her results, she would say results are not yet out.

By her 2nd year I married her after she got pregnant. As per the honorable man na

Do you know this girl after I2nd year, all her results were carry over. I mean ALL. Not even 1 pass.

Damn. Women fear women.

Now she just birthing beautiful kids. But now there's communication. Tge knowledge gap between us is too wide. Nothing to discuss about. Even when I try to communicate it frustrates me. I will speak and still explain my very own grammar. Then I will now explain the meaning and the etymology before continuing with the sentence. Its a real pain communicating.

You can imagine my regrets when I see an intelligent hardworking lady doctor outside.

Secondly, she doesn't want to work or even study to improve herself.

I am not poor by any means. I am a software developer. I earn about N4 million monthly.

But my wife is only happy selling ZOBO and kwulikwuli. Even at that she is not serious with it. Imagine this year she has not even started selling anything. January has passed.

I've told her to learn and IT skills. She says No.

Told her learn nursing, she said No

I did international passport for me, her and our 3 kids. She just came up and said she won't like to travel abroad. Her fears is that women there are likely going to be working on jobs.

Ok. Madam lets open Boutique for you - she no get the energy to run boutique.

Oya learn driving and be taking the kids to school - it is taking her almost 3 years to learn. Today she will drive, tomorrow she will forget it.

Oya madam go back to school and complete your education. She no want.

Every quarrel, she will threaten to commit suicide (informing random relations of mine to take care good of her children if anything happens to her) and accuse me of not seeing any value in her. Madam which value? You don't want to improve yourself and you now cry that I am improving.

She wants this and that and I spend so much. How can a man be spending more than 3 million every month? She want chop chop chop.

Since I met her, I have overworked myself.

Story long..

Sometimes, I always feel like quitting this marriage. But being a Christian, I feel trapped in this better for worse journey.

If only Madam can develop herself. I wish she can be just willing to learn or pursue knowledge. Let her drop this laziness about self-development and littleness mindset thing. Kai. No ambition. No dreams. I wish she can just have dreams for once in her life. And be a lover of wisdom.

I plan to go far in this life. But its difficult to do so when you're unequally yoked with an unambitious partner.

Only God can save my marriage at this rate things are going

bros u go soon die, and i pity ur children when u die

thomas2024:
I read it as you quoted it. That begged the reason why I drop my piece. I will never blame the lady but the guy. He fvcked up big time.

how did i Bleep up?
Please educate me.

thomas2024:
It pains me I couldn’t address the guy directly. It seems like he has deleted the post. He will still make that same mistake again of building up another lady he intends to marry for the second, third, or even fourth time. I hope he can see this comment of mine by the way. He made a lot of mistakes and most men should not fall into that pit. We all learn everyday.

As a man, make sure you’re better than your woman times 10. Women are naturally hypergamous in Nature. This guy is in question keeps developing his woman but never develop himself in other aspect and I can beat my chest that he doesn’t have the needed charisma. He also makes a mistake of contributing financially to the relationship without allowing the lady in question to contribute. Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the cards, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k. She has nothing to lose. As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

Thanks bro, I read this..

QuinQ:
He never removed the quote, heartless guy.
Here it is:

Justicepluto:
Life is like a two-sided coin.

Three years ago, I met a young woman fresh out of NYSC. When we started dating, she told me she had graduated with first-class honors and was exceptionally intelligent. Impressed by her potential, I began supporting her in every way I could. I encouraged her to pursue her ICAN certification and provided financial help, even though I was struggling myself. At one point, I had to ask her to stop making random financial demands, assuring her that I would always support her when it was truly necessary.

For the first two years, as she grew professionally, I focused on building our future. My dream was for us to travel together after our first year of marriage. She was indeed brilliant, intelligent, and hardworking, which only fueled my commitment.

By our third year, we had seen significant progress: we acquired lands and a car. But amid this growth, one persistent issue overshadowed everything, the lack of basic respect. She never respected me the way I respected her. I held her in such high regard that I even tempered my sexual energy around her. During intimate moments, I often appeared subdued so as not to overwhelm her, especially since early in our relationship, she had mentioned that sex was painful for her.

One day, during a disagreement, we went out to resolve our issues. In the middle of our conversation, she abruptly stood up and left. I was stunned but swallowed my pride. After talking to her about it, she repeated this behavior during another attempt to settle things this time, I took her phones in frustration, and she snatched mine, even pulling my second phone from my pocket.

I began questioning why she couldn't show me respect. I never hit her, abused her, cheated on her, or shouted at her. Whenever I tried to correct her gently, she would raise her voice to counter me, and I'd stay calm to avoid escalation.

She rarely did any chores when she visited. To be fair, she would cook, but that was it—nothing else. Helping with something as simple as cleaning the toilet seemed like an act of divine intervention. My laundry was never her concern; she could wear my clothes and just leave them for me to wash, as if it were none of her business.

Over time, it became difficult for me to address her behaviors without sparking fights, so I started avoiding those conversations altogether. I even bought several plots of land through her, and her company at the time gave her commissions, yet not once did she ever say "thank you." I overlooked all of it.

Her constant disrespect and eagerness to walk away during conflicts made me realize I needed to test her loyalty. I couldn't pinpoint the issue, as there wasn't a single aspect where I thought I was falling short—and when I asked her, she couldn't name one either. Was it the gifts? The phones? Extending my generosity to her family in small ways? The advice I gave? I was truly confused.

During one argument, she left our shared bed, slept alone, and packed her things the next day.

I decided I had to confirm what was really going on, especially since February 14th was the day I had planned to introduce myself to her family officially. When she later came to apologize, I lied to her that I was a sickle cell patient. She cried, accused me of wasting her years, and left. As she was going, I expressed my interest in her regardless, pleaded with her not to tell anyone, and asked if this was a sacrifice she could make for us—that she should think about it and get back to me.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. At one point, I had sacrificed my job, my source of livelihoodbecause her actions had triggered me so deeply. We met again later, and I begged her not to walk away. I promised everything: adoption, sperm donation, IVF. She refused, saying the money we could save and channel into other things shouldn't be wasted.

This was a woman who, in our three years together, had never done anything for me or my family financially. I borrowed money from her when times were tough and repaid it almost immediately. She earned well currently in the hundreds of thousands but never once had she given me even 5,000 naira as a gift. The first and last time she gave me any money was for a hospital bill, and it was 10,000 naira. Yet here she was, complaining about wasting money.

I laughed it off inwardly as she left and sent her belongings after making sure she asked for them. Weeks later, her mother called me as usual to ask about our issues. Because of her daughter's pride, her mom would rather intervene to settle things than her make any genuine efforts to show she was sorry. I felt there was no point discussing it, if her daughter's pride and ego weren't in the way, she would have stepped up to make amends herself, rather than involving her mom.

Now, I'm starting over. This time, it's not about who's the most successful or intelligent, but about finding someone who will stand by you when the chips are down—someone willing to make sacrifices, even when it's uncomfortable for them.

Many highly intelligent and working-class women remain single or end up divorced for a reason. Some are married but face similar challenges. Ultimately, it's about recognizing your potential and finding someone who will stand by you to achieve it.

In the end, she was stuck in a fantasy shaped by her past relationships, which I don't want to write about. In the end, everyone will be happy.

N.b
I couldn't type everything i overlooked and endured but i am glad it's a fresh start..

how was i hrtless ?
I need to understand

amaridigital:
Whose responsibility is it to train and educate a lady? Her parents, herself or a simp?

If you read and understood the topic before rushing to mention and respond ... then your question should've been whose responsibility is it to train and educate a wife ... a question only a simp would ask.

Hi[quote author=honour8 post=138324995]What ever you do, don't leave your wife oh, the day you do, the day you will see and know the true meaning of suffer. Sorry to break it to you but all the things you said point to one thing, your wife is likely what we usually call an Ogbanje. If they, love you dem done done love you, things will be going well for you. They will continue to support you spiritually and you will think all your success is yours, do you know how many people graduated with first class in Nigeria or how many software developer there are, guy if you think I am lying ask a spiritual man, they will tell you. How you go expect person wey done carry her lucky charm join your own make e serious for work again.

Another thing that made me say that is that abroad stuff, the source of her power is in Nigeria, that is why she is discouraging you from travelling bet it if you too push her she will ask you to go, even with the children but she will stay behind, this is because they cannot leave far away from their source.

You are lucky you brought this here if not Oyo would have been your future. You will leave her and she will still find another man and the man will be very successful while you will fall flat. You go wonder, except you want make another person train your children.

Absolute rubbish....

Justicepluto:
Thanks bro, I read this..

Please, and please. Always invest in yourself. When you do, the right woman will get attracted to you. And make sure you even vet the right woman, make sure she is heavily invested in you before making a move. Women hardly leave any relationship they’ve invested their time and money into. Good morning and have a blissful day ahead😊

Justicepluto:
how did i Bleep up?
Please educate me.

I’ve already analyzed it. You didn’t choose yourself, you chose her over you, at your own detriment.

QuinQ:
YarahooBoy in disguise. Tech baron my foot!

Yahoo boy indeed.

Mtcheeewww!

QuinQ:
I like what you said here:
Women find it hard to leave any relationship or marriage they’re deeply invested into. As a man, your status matters to your wife. When you act as a needy in a relationship, with only you making the relationship work, you’ll get played by your partner who will possess the belief that she has all the cards, with the guy having the mindset of nowhere to go simply because he wants to make the relationship work after he has invested time and resources into the relationship while on the other hand, the lady has only dropped just 10k.

But this part is easier said than done:
As a man, before you spend 2k on your woman or in a relationship, make sure you’ve collected 20k from her or she’s spend 20k in the relationship. Think or sink!

The second part works like mad depending on your mentality and the kind of ladies you attract. Have you ever stumbled on the law of attraction? When a lady is deeply in love with you, you will know. You don’t need to chase, or impress a lady with money, when you “STAND”, i.e. a resourceful person and a man of value. Ladies will kpai themselves to be with you. They will dupe their maga and use the money to buy you gifts. Women chase valuable men, but they only do it codedly. I’m talking from other people’s experience and my personal experience. Study patterns, observe and you’ll understand. Have a beautiful day ahead😊