₦airaland Forum

Let's get the obvious ones out first.

1. Korope
2. Keke Marwa
3. Danfo
4. Mini pure water trucks
5. Trailers, Tippers & Howo trucks

I don't need to say much on these ones.

-If you drag road with them, sorry na ya name.
-If you drive behind them, get ready to rub brake oil.
-If you trafficate/signal to turn with them behind you, get prepared to change your bumper.

6. Toyota Corolla (9th-10th generation)
I firmly believe that there is a demon residing in every Corolla and it possesses the driver to behave the same way. Talk about short man syndrome, these little plastics always want a confrontation and to prove a point. Always dragging tight spaces, always trying to gain unnecessary advantage to prove that they are no pushovers (which they are), always drag racing with their 125HP/140km/h max jalopy, their windows are always wound down due to faulty AC. Spits. They are mostly frustrated Uber drivers that are under pressure and lack maintenance culture. Their cars are mostly covered in scratches and dents and they have no issues infecting your car with them too.

Avoid them. They suffer from inferiority complex.


7. Lexus IS250 & Benz C300
These ones are either old taker yahoo boys or yahoo apprentices. Always racing and trying to swerve between lanes dangerously to prove that they can drive (which they can't). They are allergic to braking and always on full headlights even in broad daylight. Always with tinted glasses so that you can't spot that the drivers are mostly teens or 21 year old brats just excited to get their hands on a car and show off to some girl they think is watching. There can be anything from 4 to 6 people in the car too. They can only drive in straight lines. Any turning or curve and they collide with something. Nonsense.

8. Benz GLK & Lexus RX330
The elder brothers of the Lexus IS250 & C300 gang. These ones are mostly not the owners of the car. They are HK apprentices that managed to sneak the car out to buy fuel for HK chairman or they have 2hrs before HK chairman wakes up to return the car. They also swerve dangerously between lanes to prove a point. When they are not driving they can be found in any popular crowded mall with their trunks open sipping alcohol, smoking and blasting BT speakers for attention.


9. Madam SUV/Minivan (CR-V, Highlander, Benz, Sienna, Acura)
Cold, heartless, evil, wicked, stone-hearted, demonic. Words cannot describe these beasts. These women are ready to switch off their engine on a busy expressway to have their way. They will never give the oncoming car room in a narrow street, they drive in the middle and if a collision happens, they never come down from their car, their windows are always wound up so that you cannot talk to them and they stare straight ahead without saying a word like Sani Abacha. The car belongs to their husband so they don't even care. LASTMA & VIO also avoid them. They cannot drive but they will drag any space with you to the last.

As you can see, no image for them because nobody dares take their picture & live.

10. Company Toyota Coaster (mostly in the evenings)
The list is getting more matured which means it's getting more heartless. These coasters are mostly driven by family men with stern looks who lack conscience. Note that they are calm in the early mornings but become dangerous in the evenings by closing hours. Research proves that this sudden change is due to seeing & listening to the mega doings and moves of the Gen Z 9-5 staff they convey home. This builds frustration in them and they take it out on other road users. Their necks are constructed in a way that they cannot look sideways while driving. Anything left or right is brushable. They don't care since the damage is not their responsibility but the company's. They NEVER honk. They just brush you aside and keep coasting like nothing happened.


11. Opel Zafira 2004 (blue colour)
These ones are often overlooked because they drive slow & consist of old men. My dear brothers in Christ, these men are deadly especially the ones carrying loads with open boots. They can appear from anywhere including BRT lanes. VIO & LASTMA flee from them. It's pointless to contest any position with these babas because they have nothing to lose. As I stated above, watch out for the blue coloured ones & you'll be fine, the other colours are normal.

Beautiful funny thread. You injected good humour here.

Coming from the unfortunate disaster of Sam Larry's accident thread.

All these ones you mentioned aren't really scary like all these trucks that carry containers.

I entered Keke one day around Abraham Adesanya one night, and that road is bad. That was how the Keke driver was dragging road with a truck carrying container. I told the guy to allow the truck go and drive behind because I have phobia driving close to trucks carrying container. This guy no gree. I just told him to stop and let me alight.

Sienna drivers

Nawa4uooo.
Wen Molue dey

Quite educative
Tag the mods

Hahahah….
Very funny but true…
Pure satire in its raw arts form….

I believe in one thing, pray, drive carefully and avoid dragging road with any one, though I believe many people on our road suffer epileptic mental disorders without knowing, you have to pay attention as a normal person…

May God keep us safe

Interesting, front page content deserve...

Comical post

Great write up OP. The coaster and opel view got me laughing

Molue ? Good old molue are going Into extinction. I didn't see them on Lagos roads During my short visit to 9JA .[quote author=Godspowerpro q=139925818]Nawa4uooo.
Wen Molue dey[/quote]

This is a front page material biko!

Lol op forgot our okada.
Those ones no respect "traffication" so if you're making a turning, observe Ur side mirror very well because some of the Okada riders don't know meaning of the blinking light indicating you want to turn to that side or you want to park at that side.

VeryWickedMan:
10. Company Toyota Coaster (mostly in the evenings)
The list is getting more matured which means it's getting more heartless. These coasters are mostly driven by family men with stern looks who lack conscience. Note that they are calm in the early mornings but become dangerous in the evenings by closing hours. Research proves that this sudden change is due to seeing & listening to the mega doings and moves of the Gen Z 9-5 staff they convey home. This builds frustration in them and they take it out on other road users. Their necks are constructed in a way that they cannot look sideways while driving. Anything left or right is brushable. They don't care since the damage is not their responsibility but the company's. They NEVER honk. They just brush you aside and keep coasting like nothing happened.


11. Opel Zafira 2004 (blue colour)
These ones are often overlooked because they drive slow & consist of old men. My dear brothers in Christ, these men are deadly especially the ones carrying loads with open boots. They can appear from anywhere including BRT lanes. VIO & LASTMA flee from them. It's pointless to contest any position with these babas because they have nothing to lose. As I stated above, watch out for the blue coloured ones & you'll be fine, the other colours are normal.

So on point. Dem no go give you space and dem go still chance you even when na dem dey come from the line wey no dey move

BrickandLace:
Sienna drivers

Commercial drivers in Sienna and High Ass and the white Mazda like the one that nearly entered lagoon on third mainland

VeryWickedMan:
Let's get the obvious ones out first.

1. Korope
2. Keke Marwa
3. Danfo
4. Mini pure water trucks
5. Trailers, Tippers & Howo trucks

I don't need to say much on these ones.

-If you drag road with them, sorry na ya name.
-If you drive behind them, get ready to rub brake oil.
-If you trafficate/signal to turn with them behind you, get prepared to change your bumper.

Include Toyota 4 runner drivers too

2006/2007 - 2012/2013 model. The drivers don’t have any sense. They feel they can climb over anything on the road including other cars