My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence - Christianity Etc (2)

My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence - Christianity Etc (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 10:48am On Feb 21

voiceunheard:
I know that YOU WILL BE BLIND to see this one: "You should forgive people who have offended you and let go for your way to be open. How do you expect your way to be open when you are harboring many people in your heart?"

So because the pastor told you to forgive everyone you decided to trust him and rely on his words completely? Have you not heard of so many pastors prophesying and their prophecies failing? This experience is a lesson from God. Please answer all my questions o:

Wow! Why did he say that to you? Tell us the full story. smiley Wow! Why did her elder sister do that to you? What did you do that got them so angry? Tell us the full story. smiley Wow! another person angry with you again? Why always you? cheesy You relied on the words of a man. Are you not aware that it is only the words of God that you are to rely on?

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 10:55am On Feb 21

voiceunheard:
I should start explaining things that happened from my childhood till now because I have all the time in the world? All because I want to convince you? It will be a waste of time.

When a father gets angry and says this to his child,

While my father was alive, he repeatedly told me that he would make sure I was frustrated in life, that I would be useless, and that I would be born to regret.

The child must have done something very bad. Tell us what you did thatgot him so angry. And by the way I hope you are aware that such statements from a father can and will affect the child for the rest of her life.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 10:59am On Feb 21

voiceunheard:
Several people like how many?

parents, siblings, housemate, housemate elder sister, pastor, Church headquaters. grin

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 11:08am On Feb 21

voiceunheard:
Your sense is not straight, from your word, your sense is going zigzag zigzag. While my father was alive, he repeatedly told me that he would make sure I was frustrated in life, that I would be useless, and that I would be born to regret.

Is like what the father said is making his daughter life now to be going zigzag zigzag.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by alizma: 11:12am On Feb 21

Someone promised to help you and because the promise didn't come when you expected it and you are dragging him as if he took advantage of you. Ha, this one will one day change the story from promise to rape. May God help the over emotional pastor. I have learned to keep my promises until I am 100% sure. Na me wan help you so I have the right to remain silent until I am sure.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 11:24am On Feb 21

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by DoWhatThouWilt: 11:26am On Feb 21

alizma:
Someone promised to help you and because the promise didn't come when you expected it and you are dragging him as if he took advantage of you. Ha, this one will one day change the story from promise to rape. May God help the over emotional pastor.

I actually feel sorry for the pastor. This is why as men, we need to be very careful when helping people of the opposite gender.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by SarcasticWords: 11:35am On Feb 21

DoWhatThouWilt:
Is like what the father said is making his daughter life now to be going zigzag zigzag.

Yes. The father got tired of her. She has a very big problem and the problem is following her everywhere she goes.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by SarcasticWords: 11:45am On Feb 21

DoWhatThouWilt:
I actually feel sorry for the pastor. This is why as men, we need to be very careful when helping people of the opposite gender.

No be lie. The headquarters probably called the pastor and after he narrated his own side of the story, the Headquarters kept her silent and ignored her.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by SarcasticWords: 11:59am On Feb 21

DoWhatThouWilt:
parents, siblings, housemate, housemate elder sister, pastor, Church headquaters.

Na Wa!

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 12:04pm On Feb 21*

alizma:
Someone promised to help you and because the promise didn't come when you expected it and you are dragging him as if he took advantage of you. Ha, this one will one day change the story from promise to rape. May God help the over emotional pastor. I have learned to keep my promises until I am 100% sure. Na me wan help you so I have the right to remain silent until I am sure.

You have the right to remain silent until you sure? Why will you ever make an expensive promise in the first place when you are not sure? You can't make an expensive promise and keep someone stranded/in uncertainty, TILL ANYTIME YOU ARE SURE. While you are trying to be sure, the person may have looked for a way out! You don't make sure kind of promise to a person when the person is desperate.

What you are saying here has more to do with the kind of mindset you have.

If you are truly the one, I NEVER asked for financial assistance from you, you shouldn't have made any silly promise in the first place.

I HAVE TO drag, you cannot put me in debt and expect me to be silent. You thought you were dealing with a child or what? Your promise ended up ruining my plans.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by MrEar(m): 12:46pm On Feb 21

voiceunheard:
What you are saying here has more to do with the kind of mindset you have.

Oh, so she also came here to cry. The Father's curse must be really powerful.

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Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by SarcasticWords: 12:49pm On Feb 21

MrEar:
Oh, so she also came here to cry. The Father's curse must be really powerful.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 6:41pm On Feb 21*

alizma:
Someone promised to help you and because the promise didn't come when you expected it and you are dragging him as if he took advantage of you. Ha, this one will one day change the story from promise to rape. May God help the over emotional pastor. I have learned to keep my promises until I am 100% sure. Na me wan help you so I have the right to remain silent until I am sure.

A promise isn’t a maybe. If you’re not sure you can help, don’t say it. Ignoring someone after giving them hope is wicked, not wise.

If you make a vow in the church and failed to fulfill it, are there consequences or not? You/he made a promise in the church, saying "God has stepped into the matter" and later ignored completely.

People should be careful of being spiritually manipulated by some kind of so called pastors, by their fruit you shall know them.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 7:11pm On Feb 21

alizma:
Someone promised to help you and because the promise didn't come when you expected it and you are dragging him as if he took advantage of you. Ha, this one will one day change the story from promise to rape. May God help the over emotional pastor. I have learned to keep my promises until I am 100% sure. Na me wan help you so I have the right to remain silent until I am sure.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 7:26am On Feb 24*

Moderator101:
A pastor is not God. As Christians, we’re taught that only God’s promises are unfailing. People, no matter how spiritual they seem, are still human and can fall short. That’s why our trust should rest in God first, not in any individual. At least now you have learned that.

From what you described, you’ve had repeated conflicts with parents, siblings, a housemate, and now your pastor. When the same pattern shows up in multiple relationships, it’s worth taking a serious look inward. Maybe the problem here is from you.

Lastly, there are two sides to every argument. You cannot just expect us to believe only your own side of the story. Am sure all parties involved in this story you've given us (parents, siblings, a housemate, and now your pastor) have something to say about you as well.

If they truly have something to say, why haven't they said it, even when police was involved?

If that is the case, then they couldn't have told me "they give me 7 days to come and tell them I have forgiven them" otherwise they will throw my belongings out.

Someone won't have been telling me that I am guilty of witchcraft if I can't forgive my fellow human being, but the people who keeps offending continuously as if it's their right, they are not guilty of witchcraft.

I don't have all the time in the world to keep explaining myself here.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 12:19am On Feb 25

What the pastor did is wrong. It's his pattern, making unrealistic promises.

People are saying he is human, he can promise and fail but they fail to realize that I am also human, his promise can influence my decision.

As for me reporting him, it's a necessity, to prevent him from causing someone else harm and know that what he did is very wrong. And for him to stop looking down on people, thinking that "this one cannot do it on her own", then make unrealistic promises and expect the person to see him as God, as if without him there will be no way out.

And since he wants the person to see him as God, he expects the person to keep quiet, even after causing the person harm, because if the person does anything, his heaven on earth promise won't be fulfilled and the person will loose.

This time around, he also loose.

He made such an expensive promise and did absolutely NOTHING! And some are here defending him, saying he doesn't owe me a dime as if I said so or I asked him for financial assistance in the first place.

When a true pastor makes an expensive promise like this, he is supposed to follow up with his promise and if he can't do what he promised, he could have at least done something.

Like I said earlier, anyone saying I went too far to report him, is saying that from the comfort of him/her not being the one harmed. I did what I am supposed to do.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 12:22am On Feb 25

To those following this thread:

I shared my experience for accountability and to warn about spiritual abuse. To the person who said they ‘love’ what was done to me - Romans 1:32 describes people who not only do wrong but give hearty approval to those who practice it.

I’ve documented everything, reported to authorities, and now focus on my recovery. I won’t respond to mockery or malice anymore. My silence from this point on isn’t lack of answer, it’s protecting my peace and health as I rebuild. Thanks to those with genuine empathy. The truth remains unchanged.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 12:50am On Feb 25

"Their reaction says more about their psychology than about your situation."

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by alizma: 9:57am On Feb 25

voiceunheard:
A promise isn’t a maybe. If you’re not sure you can help, don’t say it. Ignoring someone after giving them hope is wicked, not wise.

If you make a vow in the church and failed to fulfill it, are there consequences or not? You/he made a promise in the church, saying "God has stepped into the matter" and later ignored completely.

People should be careful of being spiritually manipulated by some kind of so called pastors, by their fruit you shall know them.

Did you read through the passage? The man never denied making promise but time of fulfillment which the man didn't mentioned to her.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 10:44pm On Mar 01

Most of the responses she received on Nairaland treated this as a simple matter of a man failing to keep a promise. But what you are identifying goes deeper. He did not just fail to help her. He actively redirected her away from helping herself by invoking God's name. That is a form of spiritual manipulation regardless of whether it was intentional or not. The effect was the same. She trusted God through him and was left more vulnerable than before she walked into that church.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 10:44pm On Mar 01

Several people told her she should not have trusted a man. But she was not simply trusting a man. She was trusting a man who told her God had stepped in. When a pastor stands in front of a desperate person and invokes God's direct involvement in their situation, telling that person afterward that they should not have trusted human beings is a deeply unfair standard. She was not being naive. She was responding to a spiritual declaration made by someone whose entire authority rested on representing God to his congregation.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 10:44pm On Mar 01

The weight of those words and what followed them is something he will have to account for beyond any human court or church headquarters.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 8:37am On Mar 02

After the pastor said "she stopped calling him", did you know what he said next? That he said this to himself "Since she stopped calling him, let him see how she will look for a way out".

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 5:16pm On Apr 03

DoWhatThouWilt:
I did not delete my reply. The antispambot deleted it. Please keep waiting for the pastor. Am sure very soon he will buy you a mansion, a car, and possibly an Iphone. He willl even take you to london. Just keep waiting because he promised you okay.

Some people are soo insensitive.

Because you are lucky enough to have good parents, so anyone having issues with their parents is definitely the cause.

Think outside the box, life itself is not fair even to good people.

Re: My Painful Experience With A Nigerian Pastor’s False Promise & Church’s Silence by voiceunheard(op): 5:24pm On Apr 03

SarcasticWords:
Yes. The father got tired of her. She has a very big problem and the problem is following her everywhere she goes.

See pot calling kettle black. I am far off better than you. If this type of your diabolical sense is what I have, with what I have gone through, my life could have been worse than it is.