₦airaland Forum

Cutezt:
Yes!

While we were kids, we had this flat behind our house we usually give out for rent, one day, a family of about 8 moved in, among them was a young boy my age, I remember asking him where he was going to on the very first day I saw him walking down the street, and he told me he wanted to go pick up some things in their old house, we were about 8-9 years old then and I remembered escorting him. I chop beat that day when I returned as they were already looking for me, anyways, we became very close with the entire family, we sleep in their flat sometimes and they sleep in ours too, we ate together, played together, basically as one big family, but one day, they moved out to a bigger apartment like 15 kilometers away, yet it didn't stop our bond, we still saw each other very often, slept in each other's houses, played games together and ate together like normal.

Around 2014, I moved to Lagos, we still kept a good relationship and spent time together anytime I am back home for the holidays, around 2018, I suddenly heard from a mutual friend that he has moved to China to school. This was someone we still chat and speak often with o, I was disappointed that he had that plan but never voiced it to me, but I didn't let that stop our friendship, he messaged me and we spoke for long hours together very often, but suddenly, I noticed he stopped picking up my calls, and stopped calling me too, I was surprised cos we've not had any issues, neither have I ever begged him for 1 naira, in fact, I was the one sending little tips here and there to numbers and accounts he asks me to, without even expecting payment. I tried reaching out a couple of times but heard nothing, I was scared something had happened to him, so I reached out to a mutual friend who confirmed they spoke just a few days ago, I tried reaching out again but no response, so I just deleted his number and continued living my life.

Last year, I heard he has moved to the UK about 2 years ago and he even borrowed a huge amount from that mutual friend to finalize his movement, and he was yet to pay back, I knew because the mutual friend complained to me about it. He called the mutual friend last year while we were together on the 31st night and I bluntly told the mutual friend I am not interested in speaking to him, cos he asked how I was alongside a couple of other people, the mutual friend said he always asks about me anytime they speak, yet he is on my IG, almost always online and he has not messaged me, neither have I messaged him since 2021.

Make everybody dey their own abeg, nobody dey feed anybody, don't know why he ghosted, but then, I don't care, I'm doing very very well for myself here and have never begged him for anything. I understand say we no be 'smallie' again, trouser don add length, so I'm not angry at him, I am just not interested in friendship anymore.
Everytime I am back home and visit the market, I check his elder sisters who have shops all around the market and we greet and talk well. I plan to go visit the parents with a few gifts this Xmas, but as far as that friendship is concerned, I'm not interested.

Good guy, i love your stand.

Chai anyone that abandons his friend especially if ur a Man say level don change is not a good person period, and would surely regret it later cos this life na standing fan tomorrow I fit focus on blowing that person wey u abandon then u go regret ur life

OlaOfLagos:
Why should you be bothered if someone is doing better than you? Na una dey put una sef for depression and unnecessary competition. If someone is doing better than you, you’re also doing better than someone else.

Read to understand, he said ever abandoned you ? he didn't ask you whether you're happy or not when he/she is doing better, Okay.......

Sirchiboy:
I dont know the right section to post this.but has your childhood best friend ever abondoned you when he/she grows up or becomes wealthy?how do you feel? Please share your stories am coming back to share mine thanks

yes o two of my childhood friends begin carry body for me when dem first me begin see money.i come later vex increase the volume of my hustle today I hold cash pass dem.human being NAwa.

CertifiedGee:
Yes!!!
I have this guy I was friends with in secondary school. We literally do EVERYTHING together except maybe bathing. We do sleep in each other's bunks, as we were in the hostel. Our closeness even got our parents close till date. I'm from Ile Ife, he is from Lagos and our parents allow us spend alternate holidays with each other and he spent mid term holidays of SS1 to SS3 with us in Ife instead of going to Lagos.
We left school in 2010 and he got admitted into a Private university same year while I got admitted into School of Nursing the following year and by 2014, we were both done. All these time, we were still close and we talk everyday, we even create time to still go to each other's state.
Fast forward to around 2015 after his service, he got employed to a private firm in Abuja with an above the average income while me, I am struggling to enter OAU for my Degree through Direct Entry. My guy started seeing money and the detachment started, I initially thought he was busy and I was trying to be understanding, only for him to tell another mutual friend that I was bothering him with messages and he knows it's for money. Mind you, this is someone I have NEVER ask for #1, so where's the thought coming from. I didn't even take that much to heart since there wasn't really any proof of him saying such until during Easter of 2018 when this our mutual friend also called him where I was and the guy I was with asked if he heard about me, and he said he doesn't move with broke people who are beyond his level anymore and he's employed and doing well, while I'm still struggling with my life and he doesn't want anything that'll drag him back. I was just so disappointed.
Fast forward to 2022 when I posted my picture on FB in Customs Uniform (I was employed as a commissioned officer into Customs in 2021), Baba's message was the first thing that popped up in my messenger that I have forgotten him now that I have money abi and life should not be like that. That message is still unread till date.

So you now feel I belong to your class and you want to bring back the spark, Nah. Last year December, I took Rice and Frozen Turkey to his parents as Christmas gift, I saw him, greeted him casually and I drove off just after I was done with the parents. No friendship again abeg.

The rice no reach my side ooo

davillian:
if you position yourself as a begger
they would ignore and abandon you.....
its friendship so keep it that way...
and let thier success thier business.

An average Nigerian thinks anyone doing better than them automatically owes them something!

sheeda995:
Lol. No one owes you anything . This mentality is with Africans only, even as a child, once you are 18, your parents don't owe you anything. You owe your parents. Your friends don't owe you anything, either you find your own success or move on. What an entitlement mentality

saying parents don't owe their children is an irresponsible statement. Every parent owe their children. They didn't choose to come to this life you brought them here, so you have to have a plan for the innocent life you are bringing into the world. You give them the necessary support until they can stand on their own and then they can support you at old age or retirement. Abeg make una dey talk well

Oracleee:
Peter comes to mind.


Early 2000s. We were kids close childhood friends. Our mums worked at the same place. We spent alternating weekends in each other’s houses. Him and his brothers would stay with us, we’d stay with them. We attended the same primary school. It was that kind of bond family-level closeness.
Then his mum got the opportunity to relocate to greater London. This was even before the whole japa wave became a thing. While she was sorting herself out, they stayed with us. Eventually she came back for her husband and kids, and off to London they went.
We lost contact for about a year.
One day, my mum said, “You people want to speak with the Babatopes?” We were excited me and my siblings. Childhood friends reconnecting after relocation? Sweet moment, right?
Wrong.
Peter and his siblings denied knowing us.
Flat out.
Asking “Who is this?” When I tried explaining, he acted like he had no idea who I was. My mum was shocked. I was a boy almost entering my teenage years, and my supposed best friend more like a brother that I already used to brag to my friends around erased me like I never existed.







That day stayed with me.
Fast forward about 15 years later. He wanted to come to Nigeria for something and needed help with security and accommodation. He reached out through my mum.
At that time, I was in the UK on course at Sandhurst.
I took my pound of flesh.
I feigned complete ignorance. Said I wasn’t even in the country. His mum called, acting surprised that I didn’t “know” them. The irony was loud.
Eventually I returned to Nigeria after my program. He was still around and tried reaching out to meet up. But that childhood hurt stuck with me. I cut ties completely.
Maybe people change. Maybe kids do silly things. But one thing I know is this if he had met me in a place where I wasn’t doing well, I doubt he would’ve wanted to reconnect.
Some people remember you only when you’re useful or successful.
I don’t hate him. I just believe in energy matching energy.

Wow your friend no try at all oo. Not that you were feeling entitled or wanting to ask him for money. Anyway glad to know you were doing better also. It’s also good you finally cut him off.

richiemcgold:
Only two of us still remain in Nigeria out of seven that we all grew up together as buddies in the 90s. We are best of friends till today. They are all well-to-do abroad, but I have never asked any of them for financial assistance before, except one who is my closest blood. Not because I don't need their assistance, but I hate being a bother. Maybe that's why they don't look down on me. My place is always one of their first points of call anytime they are in the country.

Very good of you. The thing an average Nigerian thinks his rich friends owes him something!

sheeda995:
Lol, but he was very young to be honest, I don't think that counts. You should tell him what happened and forgive each other. He was also a child and most people abroad weren't doing well. Most teenagers abroad has lots of problems when they arrive and some often go psychotic. I think you should tell him and forgive him

But why did the mom act like she doesn’t know them ? The mom also denied him and his family according to his story. It’s a planned work and the only reason he’s reaching out is because maybe he found out the guy is now doing well also.

Ttag:
Normal
Travels abroad
Ends communication

It is not normal.
Only crazy people do that.

Oracleee:
Peter comes to mind.


Early 2000s. We were kids close childhood friends. Our mums worked at the same place. We spent alternating weekends in each other’s houses. Him and his brothers would stay with us, we’d stay with them. We attended the same primary school. It was that kind of bond family-level closeness.
Then his mum got the opportunity to relocate to greater London. This was even before the whole japa wave became a thing. While she was sorting herself out, they stayed with us. Eventually she came back for her husband and kids, and off to London they went.
We lost contact for about a year.
One day, my mum said, “You people want to speak with the Babatopes?” We were excited me and my siblings. Childhood friends reconnecting after relocation? Sweet moment, right?
Wrong.
Peter and his siblings denied knowing us.
Flat out.
Asking “Who is this?” When I tried explaining, he acted like he had no idea who I was. My mum was shocked. I was a boy almost entering my teenage years, and my supposed best friend more like a brother that I already used to brag to my friends around erased me like I never existed.







That day stayed with me.
Fast forward about 15 years later. He wanted to come to Nigeria for something and needed help with security and accommodation. He reached out through my mum.
At that time, I was in the UK on course at Sandhurst.
I took my pound of flesh.
I feigned complete ignorance. Said I wasn’t even in the country. His mum called, acting surprised that I didn’t “know” them. The irony was loud.
Eventually I returned to Nigeria after my program. He was still around and tried reaching out to meet up. But that childhood hurt stuck with me. I cut ties completely.
Maybe people change. Maybe kids do silly things. But one thing I know is this if he had met me in a place where I wasn’t doing well, I doubt he would’ve wanted to reconnect.
Some people remember you only when you’re useful or successful.
I don’t hate him. I just believe in energy matching energy.

Bless your soul son.

Oracleee:
Peter comes to mind.


Early 2000s. We were kids close childhood friends. Our mums worked at the same place. We spent alternating weekends in each other’s houses. Him and his brothers would stay with us, we’d stay with them. We attended the same primary school. It was that kind of bond family-level closeness.
Then his mum got the opportunity to relocate to greater London. This was even before the whole japa wave became a thing. While she was sorting herself out, they stayed with us. Eventually she came back for her husband and kids, and off to London they went.
We lost contact for about a year.
One day, my mum said, “You people want to speak with the Babatopes?” We were excited me and my siblings. Childhood friends reconnecting after relocation? Sweet moment, right?
Wrong.
Peter and his siblings denied knowing us.
Flat out.
Asking “Who is this?” When I tried explaining, he acted like he had no idea who I was. My mum was shocked. I was a boy almost entering my teenage years, and my supposed best friend more like a brother that I already used to brag to my friends around erased me like I never existed.







That day stayed with me.
Fast forward about 15 years later. He wanted to come to Nigeria for something and needed help with security and accommodation. He reached out through my mum.
At that time, I was in the UK on course at Sandhurst.
I took my pound of flesh.
I feigned complete ignorance. Said I wasn’t even in the country. His mum called, acting surprised that I didn’t “know” them. The irony was loud.
Eventually I returned to Nigeria after my program. He was still around and tried reaching out to meet up. But that childhood hurt stuck with me. I cut ties completely.
Maybe people change. Maybe kids do silly things. But one thing I know is this if he had met me in a place where I wasn’t doing well, I doubt he would’ve wanted to reconnect.
Some people remember you only when you’re useful or successful.
I don’t hate him. I just believe in energy matching energy.

thanks to God indeed for his blessings…

I read the comments and oboy, I saw that my level of reasoning is different from the majority here. Lemme tell you guys a story I was told.

An acquaintance told me about a young man who had nothing and was impoverished. Then out of no where a primary school friend abroad who has lost contact for years thought about him and came back to Nigeria to look for him. He remembered the times they were together, how they go to school together and began searching for him. He found him, did Visa for him and now he's abroad.

This is why I love Davido we rise by raising others. The friends you ignore today because of success you will need them tomorrow and may God help you they don't do likewise just like the illustrations we see here.

Yes you don't owe anybody anything but don't forget those who made you happy, stood by you, who helped you, encouraged you, advised you, and even prayed for you and contributed to your growth.

What you sow you will reap

Mirasteel:
No because we lost connection in 2009, my dad retired and we moved to Abuja and since then we lost contact, we talked awhile but his number stopped going through, I don't know why. but I know some day we will both meet by God grace.

almost similar with mine. But don’t forget that things change humans over years

Cutezt:
Yes!

While we were kids, we had this flat behind our house we usually give out for rent, one day, a family of about 8 moved in, among them was a young boy my age, I remember asking him where he was going to on the very first day I saw him walking down the street, and he told me he wanted to go pick up some things in their old house, we were about 8-9 years old then and I remembered escorting him. I chop beat that day when I returned as they were already looking for me, anyways, we became very close with the entire family, we sleep in their flat sometimes and they sleep in ours too, we ate together, played together, basically as one big family, but one day, they moved out to a bigger apartment like 15 kilometers away, yet it didn't stop our bond, we still saw each other very often, slept in each other's houses, played games together and ate together like normal.

Around 2014, I moved to Lagos, we still kept a good relationship and spent time together anytime I am back home for the holidays, around 2018, I suddenly heard from a mutual friend that he has moved to China to school. This was someone we still chat and speak often with o, I was disappointed that he had that plan but never voiced it to me, but I didn't let that stop our friendship, he messaged me and we spoke for long hours together very often, but suddenly, I noticed he stopped picking up my calls, and stopped calling me too, I was surprised cos we've not had any issues, neither have I ever begged him for 1 naira, in fact, I was the one sending little tips here and there to numbers and accounts he asks me to, without even expecting payment. I tried reaching out a couple of times but heard nothing, I was scared something had happened to him, so I reached out to a mutual friend who confirmed they spoke just a few days ago, I tried reaching out again but no response, so I just deleted his number and continued living my life.

Last year, I heard he has moved to the UK about 2 years ago and he even borrowed a huge amount from that mutual friend to finalize his movement, and he was yet to pay back, I knew because the mutual friend complained to me about it. He called the mutual friend last year while we were together on the 31st night and I bluntly told the mutual friend I am not interested in speaking to him, cos he asked how I was alongside a couple of other people, the mutual friend said he always asks about me anytime they speak, yet he is on my IG, almost always online and he has not messaged me, neither have I messaged him since 2021.

Make everybody dey their own abeg, nobody dey feed anybody, don't know why he ghosted, but then, I don't care, I'm doing very very well for myself here and have never begged him for anything. I understand say we no be 'smallie' again, trouser don add length, so I'm not angry at him, I am just not interested in friendship anymore.
Everytime I am back home and visit the market, I check his elder sisters who have shops all around the market and we greet and talk well. I plan to go visit the parents with a few gifts this Xmas, but as far as that friendship is concerned, I'm not interested.

You’re a very nice person. Imagine you still wan visit the parents with gifts.

Konjiboii:
I have a childhood friend who I felt our bond was never going to end, we know each other dirty secrets , his parent knows my parent, we spent vigils at either of our houses playing contra and metal gear solid, our friendship started out in primary 3, he is a very top politician who is constantly on the news , a very successful businessman. When he got appointed he changed his SIM card and I feel he is not in control of his social media. Since he never open my messages. I am not doing too shabby in my own way but I know linking up with him will be life changing . When I tell people I know this man and how our childhood was they never believe me.

Na APC person ?

Dey play.aw many I wan count 😄

abuhusna1:
Till you are broke then you know self worth wont take you out of brokenness. 90% of successful people are rich remaining 10 are wealthy. I never see a self worthy person on Forbes but ruch and wealthy people

Don’t mind him. I didn’t even choose to reply him. Anywhere in the world Money and assets defines success. I mean anywhere in the world!

💯😅😅

buttlover:
With the word "best friends" I'll say none. But many of my successful friends only buy beer and nothing else. You can only get their help if you have skills they require.

Edusouls:
Chai anyone that abandons his friend especially if ur a Man say level don change is not a good person period, and would surely regret it later cos this life na standing fan tomorrow I fit focus on blowing that person wey u abandon then u go regret ur life

Unfortunately life nobe Nollywood. If anybody stop talking to you move on and wish them well. E no mean say something bad go happen to them and you come big and start ignoring them. Lol

Dem fit still get money pass you tomorrow even with the money you make. Lol

This una mentality sef.

My Uncle Is A sitting Senator, in his second Tenure, my cousin his Son, whom even stayed with us back then in the barracks, going to primary school together, even going to the same secondary school, my dad and mom really helped them a lot, because my uncle was always busy, and barely available, my dad being a police officer, helped with almost all their tinted glass permit, and mom always cooked and made sure I took the food to his house, because His wife was living in another state in the country. I and my cousin,spent holidays together, ever since His dad won his first election my cousin blocked me, my uncle doesn’t help anyone, and doesn’t pick any calls, even you go to the house, you will be treated like you came to beg . I contacted my cousin via various means, I begged him that if I have offended him In any way, knowingly or unknowingly, I was sorry, but this guy blocked me everywhere, I even told him I don’t need his help, we are brothers and we should set examples, it’s getting to 8 years I have not seen my cousin, ever since his dad won the senatorial election. All I can say, is I wish them well, and The and God that Blessed them, will surely Bless my Family too. We currently live in a house where all the roofs are leaking, In this life, just make Money.

Hard work makes friendship forever!! Birds of a feather flocks together!!!

Sirchiboy:
I dont know the right section to post this.but has your childhood best friend ever abondoned you when he/she grows up or becomes wealthy?how do you feel? Please share your stories am coming back to share mine thanks

Take it positive bro, it motivated you to grind harder. I work so hard to fly with my day one Gees when they are flying. Nobody likes liability no matter the length of friendship.

highchief1:
yes o two of my childhood friends begin carry body for me when dem first me begin see money.i come later vex increase the volume of my hustle today I hold cash pass dem.human being NAwa.

A very close friend and colleague did that to me. It was painful and I was deeply hurt. I mean... this is a guy that I transfered one week of my annual leave for him to use( we work in the same place and he needed a long vacation to take a course, our manager agreed when I agreed to give him one week out of my leave so he can complete the course) this guy completed the course and got a better job almost immediately because of the course and shortly after, the guy just shenk me.he no even come my wedding. That was in 2017 and up till now, we have not spoken. I used to be hurt by what he did, however, I stopped being hurt when I realized if it were me too, I woulnd drop old friends that are not growing to my new level and would want new friends at my level .

Its nothing personal.

Sirchiboy:
I dont know the right section to post this.but has your childhood best friend ever abondoned you when he/she grows up or becomes wealthy?how do you feel? Please share your stories am coming back to share mine thanks

Most time its just an assumption. Did you reach out to him and he turned you down or you are just playing the victim card

For some years now,I have stopped calling anyone my friend...The highest I can call anyone,no matter how close we are is acquaintance. Na una dey give people title when dem never earn. People are selfish and opportunistic,they only come around when there is something to benefit. Once benefit stops,they vanish. For years now,I have never met anyone worth calling my friend...I have very high standards now and you have to prove it before earning my friendship.

I love this topic

Ronald007:
My Uncle Is A sitting Senator, in his second Tenure, my cousin his Son, whom even stayed with us back then in the barracks, going to primary school together, even going to the same secondary school, my dad and mom really helped them a lot, because my uncle was always busy, and barely available, my dad being a police officer, helped with almost all their tinted glass permit, and mom always cooked and made sure I took the food to his house, because His wife was living in another state in the country. I and my cousin,spent holidays together, ever since His dad won his first election my cousin blocked me, my uncle doesn’t help anyone, and doesn’t pick any calls, even you go to the house, you will be treated like you came to beg . I contacted my cousin via various means, I begged him that if I have offended him In any way, knowingly or unknowingly, I was sorry, but this guy blocked me everywhere, I even told him I don’t need his help, we are brothers and we should set examples, it’s getting to 8 years I have not seen my cousin, ever since his dad won the senatorial election. All I can say, is I wish them well, and The and God that Blessed them, will surely Bless my Family too. We currently live in a house where all the roofs are leaking, In this life, just make Money.

But why do people behave like this.. forgetting old times

kleuvet92:
Take it positive bro, it motivated you to grind harder. I work so hard to fly with my day one Gees when they are flying. Nobody likes liability no matter the length of friendship.

I was never a liability and will never be.i hustle pass Dangote.what happened was that I went to school and decided to be a good student.reading bak to bak.they on the other hand went to school and decided to be hustling along side.they did street.when I come graduate begin hustle dem hail.i rugged pass dem na just say I believe in one step at a time.as I come make my own money they tried to come bak to me I no show interest again.I don’t discriminate over ppl.as we speak my best friend is a poor guy.i no see life like that.one day everybody go die go

It is a function of perspective. When you live as if nobody owns you nothing, you don't feel hurt when those you have helped walk away and act as though your parts never crossed. The most important thing is not to be stagnant. God is the source, but He uses people.

There was a boy who grew up in my neighbourhood. The mother was based abroad and he never knew her because the father brought him here around 6 years old. He was maltreated by the "step-mother". At some point when he was in secondary school our house was where he ate lunch frequently. In 1998 his allowance was ₦40 daily. He was expected to go to where he was learning how to repair electronics. I made it my responsibility to pay his fare to work and home daily. Because my workplace was close to the shop where he was an apprentice, I would go there daily during break time to buy him fufu. The Dad who was a US citizen, comes and goes. He later thought it was time to bring him over. When he was travelling to the USA the stepmother bought him a Ghana must go bag. It was my elder brother who arranged where he passed the night and bought him the bag that he took abroad. He was later drafted into the army. He called me twice, sent two letters, and sent one email. It all ended in 2000. If it happens all over again I will do what I did. Got no regrets.

Arostar2023:
Life sometimes isn't so rosy with guys abroad. And some people can make seemly stupid mistakes because of depression and the pressure of life. Someone who borrowed money to go abroad is not in an enviable position, trust me. Some people cut off and ghost even close friends when depressed and in difficult...I don't know your friend and can't speak for him, anyway.

It's quite unfortunate tho, I thought our bond was stronger than all this.

His family is doing very well here in Nigeria, God has blessed them (or should I say devil in this case, cos his immediate elder brother was one of the guys that picked so much money during the COVID fraud stuff, so he set up himself and his family, and even got a house in Abuja), they have their own house now in my state and a family car, most of his sisters are married with their own personal businesses and they are all doing okay.