₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
Marry if you want a legacy, but if not, just secure your future and enjoy your life. Don't let anyone pressure you into a choice that isn't yours.

Elon Musk is not married, Christiano Ronaldo is not married, Floyd Mayweather is not married, Is your legacy as a married man greater than theirs?

Kadejo:
I will take time to read later

THIS WRITER DESERVES AN AWARD FOR THIS WRITE UP!.. ITS SO APT! 👏🏾

Alfred200825:
Elon Musk is not married, Christiano Ronaldo is not married, Floyd Mayweather is not married, Is your legacy as a married man greater than theirs?

Omo, comprehension is clearly an issue for some of you here. I gave two clear options and never once mentioned that marriage was compulsory.

Abeg, leave Cristiano Ronaldo out of this—the man has a son. Did Elon Musk tell you he’s childless? All these guys have kids. The reason Ronaldo Jr. is thriving is because he’s growing up under the influence of both parents. Just imagine if he was left with only his mom? Nobody would even know the boy’s name by now.

As for Musk, he’s obviously not happy because his kid didn't turn out how he expected, and let’s be real—poor parenting played a major role there.

Another thing: we are Africans, not Elon Musk. For every single or "baby daddy" celebrity you point out, I can mention 10 others who are happily married. Look at Messi. Just because one person took a certain path doesn't mean it’ll work for you. There could be health issues or personal reasons behind their choices that you don't even know about.

I never said marriage is by force, which is exactly why I provided the other option. Make we Dey read well Abeg.

Gajagojo:
One thing I have seen after some time on this world

After 3 4 5 children the man sends them to school and they graduated
The man usually kpai before 70 if he is lucky
Often earlier
The grown up children live happily with their mother who will live well into her 70s or 80s. Enjoying HER children

That is why as a man you should enjoy yourself while you still can. Dont kill yourself onto anyone's wahala because once you are gone everyone moves on.

MiamiLord:
My bro is getting married for the second time after his first divorce.
Wetin dey vex me pass be say the guy man never learn his lessons yet.

how has he not learnt his lesson?

empron:
Marriage na scam
At the end men have no gain.Only few women are ready to support for the bills,
House rent
NEPA bills
Water bill
School fees
Sometimes my mind is always skip when I see my wife calls 😂😂😂
Is either gas has finish,
Fuel finish inside her own car.
When the kids grow up they focus on mum than dad.

oga address this issue like a man. How can your wife be calling you for everything? Is she jobless?? No go get grey hair like a seventy year old man oo.

livinbygrace:
Marriage only favors women and If you don’t have a supporting woman at least 70/30 pls young men don’t marry .
When you see responsibilities,you will forget love .
The easiest fall for any man is to marry liability ,you will regret it

you will spend till you go to zero even buy sanitary pad join.

Glimpsetv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiwjtH_8ylI?si=QC029cPtis7iG6Mb



https://gtvdaily.com/why-many-nigerian-men-say-its-becoming-difficult-to-settle-down/

In summary

You no get money n you no want xtra responsibility

Some fathers who could not do much as is of the demands today are the ones bent on writing long lists for items,no room for adjustments,no shifting grounds

eagleonearth:
how has he not learnt his lesson?

Took his first wife to Europe, she go dey knack white heads.
Dude is just too soft when it comes to handling women.
Now, he is planning on taking his second wife to Europe again.

MiamiLord:
Took his first wife to Europe, she go dey knack white heads.
Dude is just too soft when it comes to handling women.
Now, he is planning on taking his second wife to Europe again.

haa I now see your point clearly. Being too soft on women is a disaster just like leaving a child to itself.

moralex:
When you marry your friend, a woman that's not after you because of what you have , not because of family pressure, a woman that sees you as a partner in the journey of life not a way out of her family poverty. ... You will thank God and appreciate Marriage.

Where will someone get this kind of woman? Because they are not available in Nigeria

It is by grace of God o

georgeakins:
Where will someone get this kind of woman? Because they are not available in Nigeria

RollinTNDA:
The older I get the more I understand marriage.

Women are like pet dogs
You pet her too much, you spoil her
You become firm with her. She respect you

Just like pet dogs, women want to be feed by you. They depend on you for food.
Telling a woman that she needs no man
Is like telling a dog that it needs no owner

No dog wants to be a stray dog
No woman wants to be without a man

Stray dogs and independent women have to survive and hunt for their survival.
While pet dogs just chill and get feed by the owner.

Some will say this is Misogyny
But this dog pet analogy is the real truth that women are scared to admit because it will make them look like a sub ordinate.

Our fathers married some fierce women
The reason was they know this woman is troublesome and a troublesome woman will fight tooth and nail for her children.
So these men marry such women in the hopes that if they die, these women will fight and protect his house and children.

Just like you get a bulldog to guard your house
Some will get a chuwawa that can't fight but will bark up and down and disturb your peace.

Dogs want to be feed by owners
Women want to be feed by men (owners)

Choose a dog you can handle

My grandma was so soft and that softness affected everything after the death of my grandfather, my dad (an only son) was just 8 at the time when his father passed on. His uncle (younger brother to my grandfather) was able to manipulate my grandmother and sold off 2 of my grandfather's houses. The man was so wicked that he couldn't even sponsor my dad's eduction. Today his sons are benefiting from his own house while my dad is left with nothing.

Marriage is a good thing especially when a man is with the right woman.

No Nigerian gal of them day is worth marrying if I must be factual just 20 percent the rest are for the street to pass and enjoy they got notin to offer sorry that the cold truth

Why is this man complaining now.
You collect opueh abi you no collect??

Ebenezer2021:
poverty mindset.
Marriage is a heavenly bliss with money

You only responded according to your age.

Go and complete your studies first,before meddling in issues as sensitive as this

tiswell:
You only responded according to your age.

Go and complete your studies first,before meddling in issues as sensitive as this

go and work your way out of poverty first before commenting on issues like marriage

SpencerForbes:
Omo, comprehension is clearly an issue for some of you here. I gave two clear options and never once mentioned that marriage was compulsory.

Abeg, leave Cristiano Ronaldo out of this—the man has a son. Did Elon Musk tell you he’s childless? All these guys have kids. The reason Ronaldo Jr. is thriving is because he’s growing up under the influence of both parents. Just imagine if he was left with only his mom? Nobody would even know the boy’s name by now.

As for Musk, he’s obviously not happy because his kid didn't turn out how he expected, and let’s be real—poor parenting played a major role there.

Another thing: we are Africans, not Elon Musk. For every single or "baby daddy" celebrity you point out, I can mention 10 others who are happily married. Look at Messi. Just because one person took a certain path doesn't mean it’ll work for you. There could be health issues or personal reasons behind their choices that you don't even know about.

I never said marriage is by force, which is exactly why I provided the other option. Make we Dey read well Abeg.

So sorry, I never knew she left with your Legacy

Ebenezer2021:
go and work your way out of poverty first before commenting on issues like marriage

An empty vessel makes the most noise.

The post isn't about empty vessel.

Now run along!

edogu:
I'm glad my opinion aligns with yours. I know of someone who is presently in a relationship. There's no day he doesn't complain about his girlfriend of being less caring. Tomorrow they'll get married and when she starts manifesting these traits of hers, this same person will quickly rush to social media to convey his personal challenges as a family man to the world. Meanwhile, you saw those things and ignored them.

Na so ooy brother the red flag is there oo but love will not allow him to sense it and decide on time before leading to marriage

poweredcom:
No Nigerian gal of them day is worth marrying if I must be factual just 20 percent the rest are for the street to pass and enjoy they got notin to offer sorry that the cold truth

Na true my brother ...

To get woman wey get sense and wey no be olosho ehn hmmm

Single men needs to work hard to get a good lady or else hmmm majority na part time olosho or codded one .

Make God help us

He should ask his married friends what they gain or don't gain. It'll go a long way in helping to inform him.

And he should tell me - stop getting married! You benefit NOTHING. Let's see how many will agree.
These people (men) know what they're doing.

Gajagojo:
One thing I have seen after some time on this world

After 3 4 5 children the man sends them to school and they graduated
The man usually kpai before 70 if he is lucky
Often earlier
The grown up children live happily with their mother who will live well into her 70s or 80s. Enjoying HER children

It's the truth.
But, imagine a family where the men didn't marry and all grow to old age and die off.
The family name will be erased.
The family land will be inherited by others.
It's for the continuity of your lineage and human race by extension.
And raising humans without families like animals in the jungle do will led to chaos and destabilized society.

moralex:
When you marry your friend, a woman that's not after you because of what you have , not because of family pressure, a woman that sees you as a partner in the journey of life not a way out of her family poverty. ... You will thank God and appreciate Marriage.

Everyone is after something.

Either constant sex, money, fear of loneliness, looks etc.

If ure a dwarf with money, only 1 in 200 girls will look at u. If u are without money, only 1 in 2000.

Glimpsetv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiwjtH_8ylI?si=QC029cPtis7iG6Mb



https://gtvdaily.com/why-many-nigerian-men-say-its-becoming-difficult-to-settle-down/

Right, listen up, you absolute collection of spineless, tradition shackled, bride price paying, permission-seeking muppets. I’m going to lay this out so bleeding simple that the fact I even have to say it is a damning indictment of how thoroughly you’ve had your brains marinated in absolute facking nonsense since the day you popped out. Cor blimey, it’s like watching a room full of blokes trying to do a runner from reality while their boots are nailed to the bleeding floor.

​You. Are. Adults. Full stop. End of theological debate. Pub’s closed, everyone leg it home before I get the facking broom out. You don't need anyone's permission. Not your mum's, not her dad's, and definitely not the uncle who’s turned up to the "introduction" wearing an agbada that costs more than your annual rent specifically so he can sit there looking like a proper lord of the manor while you’re down on the lino like a medieval peasant begging for the right to till his cabbage patch. That uncle can jog on. Briskly. In flip-flops. Uphill. He's taking the piss and you're letting him.

​Let’s dissect this "introduction" and bride price racket for a second, shall we? Because the cognitive dissonance here is genuinely staggering. You’re a grown man wiv a job, a car, maybe a degree, definitely a smartphone, and you are literally on your knees in someone’s front room asking a man who has done the absolute bare legal minimum for his daughter whether he’ll "graciously" permit you to marry her. The bare minimum, mate. Which, by the way, isn't an optional extra. You feed your kid or you go to the nick. You clothe your kid or social services turn up. You educate your kid or the state comes knocking. These aren't "achievements." These are the entry-level requirements for not being a criminal. There is no reward tier for basic parenting. There’s no gold star, and there’s certainly no bleeding invoice.

​Imagine you went to Tesco, did your shopping, paid at the till, and then the cashier said, "Oi mate, before you leave, you need to kneel and present gifts to my manager because he personally stocked these Hobnobs." You’d tell her she’d lost the plot and walk out wiv your biscuits. But somehow, when it’s a bride’s father demanding tribute for raising a human being he was legally obligated to raise, everyone acts like it’s "culture" and we must "respect" it. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. It’s extortion wiv a wrapper of tradition, and the wrapper is made of tissue paper.

​Now, here’s the bit that’ll make your brain proper itch. The Marriage Act. Section 41. It’s a criminal offence. If someone tries to obstruct a lawful marriage by falsely claiming their consent is required, that’s not a "cultural difference of opinion," it’s a facking crime. The father sitting there demanding schnapps, a goat, and an envelope before he’ll "bless" the union isn't exercising cultural authority he’s potentially committing an offence. The constitution doesn't have a footnote saying "unless the groom hasn't prostrated yet."

​And the church! The breathtaking hypocrisy of these places preaching "freedom in Christ" every Sunday and then quietly refusing to marry a couple because the bride price hasn't been settled. Brother, that is not in the Book. I’ve read it. Thoroughly. Jesus didn't once say, "Verily I say unto you, bring the father-in-law a chest freezer and two crates of Maltina before ye shall be joined." He went to a wedding in Cana, turned water into wine, and sorted out a catering crisis. That was his entire contribution. No list. No kneeling. No levies.

​You want to know what you actually have to do to get legally hitched in Nigeria? Both of you show up. Both of you be adults. Both of you consent. That’s the lot. The registrar can’t refuse you. A court official will come to your venue. You can book a hall, decorate it how you want, invite the people you actually like rather than forty-seven relatives you've never met who only showed up for the jollof, and get married. Done. Legal. Valid everywhere. The families can attend or stay home and sulk; they can take their bride price list and use it as a serviette because it has exactly zero legal weight.

​The thing that gets me, truly, is the blokes in this Nairaland thread performing this massive act of grief over the "financial burden" while simultaneously ignoring the tools that would delete that burden overnight. You’re upset about the cost of the introduction? Don't do it. Legally optional. Upset about the bride price? Don't pay it. Legally optional. Upset about the white wedding costing a fortune because her family has "opinions"? Tell them their opinions are noted and irrelevant, then book the venue you can actually afford.

​The law is on your side at every single step, yet you’re carrying a burden you voluntarily picked up because you were too scared of a bloke in a fancy robe to put it back down. You’re both the victim and the architect of your own misery, and that’s a dodgy place to be. It's absolute bollocks.

​The good news is it stops the second you decide it stops. Registry office. Venue. Invitations. Official. Done. Married. No permission required from any soul on this earth. The families will be fine. They always are. Deep down, they want to be at the wedding way more than they want to miss it, and they know it. You just need to realize that they know it. It's a proper blinder of a realization once you get there.

​Stop kneeling. It’s embarrassing.

Fenrir:
Right, listen up, you absolute collection of spineless, tradition shackled, bride price paying, permission-seeking muppets. I’m going to lay this out so bleeding simple that the fact I even have to say it is a damning indictment of how thoroughly you’ve had your brains marinated in absolute facking nonsense since the day you popped out. Cor blimey, it’s like watching a room full of blokes trying to do a runner from reality while their boots are nailed to the bleeding floor.

​You. Are. Adults. Full stop. End of theological debate. Pub’s closed, everyone leg it home before I get the facking broom out. You don't need anyone's permission. Not your mum's, not her dad's, and definitely not the uncle who’s turned up to the "introduction" wearing an agbada that costs more than your annual rent specifically so he can sit there looking like a proper lord of the manor while you’re down on the lino like a medieval peasant begging for the right to till his cabbage patch. That uncle can jog on. Briskly. In flip-flops. Uphill. He's taking the piss and you're letting him.

​Let’s dissect this "introduction" and bride price racket for a second, shall we? Because the cognitive dissonance here is genuinely staggering. You’re a grown man wiv a job, a car, maybe a degree, definitely a smartphone, and you are literally on your knees in someone’s front room asking a man who has done the absolute bare legal minimum for his daughter whether he’ll "graciously" permit you to marry her. The bare minimum, mate. Which, by the way, isn't an optional extra. You feed your kid or you go to the nick. You clothe your kid or social services turn up. You educate your kid or the state comes knocking. These aren't "achievements." These are the entry-level requirements for not being a criminal. There is no reward tier for basic parenting. There’s no gold star, and there’s certainly no bleeding invoice.

​Imagine you went to Tesco, did your shopping, paid at the till, and then the cashier said, "Oi mate, before you leave, you need to kneel and present gifts to my manager because he personally stocked these Hobnobs." You’d tell her she’d lost the plot and walk out wiv your biscuits. But somehow, when it’s a bride’s father demanding tribute for raising a human being he was legally obligated to raise, everyone acts like it’s "culture" and we must "respect" it. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. It’s extortion wiv a wrapper of tradition, and the wrapper is made of tissue paper.

​Now, here’s the bit that’ll make your brain proper itch. The Marriage Act. Section 41. It’s a criminal offence. If someone tries to obstruct a lawful marriage by falsely claiming their consent is required, that’s not a "cultural difference of opinion," it’s a facking crime. The father sitting there demanding schnapps, a goat, and an envelope before he’ll "bless" the union isn't exercising cultural authority he’s potentially committing an offence. The constitution doesn't have a footnote saying "unless the groom hasn't prostrated yet."

​And the church! The breathtaking hypocrisy of these places preaching "freedom in Christ" every Sunday and then quietly refusing to marry a couple because the bride price hasn't been settled. Brother, that is not in the Book. I’ve read it. Thoroughly. Jesus didn't once say, "Verily I say unto you, bring the father-in-law a chest freezer and two crates of Maltina before ye shall be joined." He went to a wedding in Cana, turned water into wine, and sorted out a catering crisis. That was his entire contribution. No list. No kneeling. No levies.

​You want to know what you actually have to do to get legally hitched in Nigeria? Both of you show up. Both of you be adults. Both of you consent. That’s the lot. The registrar can’t refuse you. A court official will come to your venue. You can book a hall, decorate it how you want, invite the people you actually like rather than forty-seven relatives you've never met who only showed up for the jollof, and get married. Done. Legal. Valid everywhere. The families can attend or stay home and sulk; they can take their bride price list and use it as a serviette because it has exactly zero legal weight.

​The thing that gets me, truly, is the blokes in this Nairaland thread performing this massive act of grief over the "financial burden" while simultaneously ignoring the tools that would delete that burden overnight. You’re upset about the cost of the introduction? Don't do it. Legally optional. Upset about the bride price? Don't pay it. Legally optional. Upset about the white wedding costing a fortune because her family has "opinions"? Tell them their opinions are noted and irrelevant, then book the venue you can actually afford.

​The law is on your side at every single step, yet you’re carrying a burden you voluntarily picked up because you were too scared of a bloke in a fancy robe to put it back down. You’re both the victim and the architect of your own misery, and that’s a dodgy place to be. It's absolute bollocks.

​The good news is it stops the second you decide it stops. Registry office. Venue. Invitations. Official. Done. Married. No permission required from any soul on this earth. The families will be fine. They always are. Deep down, they want to be at the wedding way more than they want to miss it, and they know it. You just need to realize that they know it. It's a proper blinder of a realization once you get there.

​Stop kneeling. It’s embarrassing.

A man who storms into another people’s culture with insults and superiority isn’t bold he’s exposed. Everything you’ve written shows the same pattern: a guest in a country behaving like an intruder, convinced he has the right to tear down what he doesn’t understand. That isn’t strength; it’s the insecurity of someone who has never been taught boundaries.

You talk like someone who believes he can walk into Africa, disrespect its people, mock its traditions, and still expect to be taken seriously. But all you’ve revealed is how deeply disconnected you are from the land you’re standing on. A person with a stable identity doesn’t need to attack entire communities to feel relevant. A person with a grounded mind doesn’t need to insult families, faiths, or cultures to feel tall. And a person with genuine character doesn’t behave like a cultural vandal in a country that has shown him hospitality.


Your arrogance is not power — it’s a warning sign.
Your disrespect is not intelligence — it’s a lack of self‑control.
Your obsession with fixing people you don’t know is not liberation — it’s intrusion.

History is full of men who walked into other societies believing they were entitled to reshape them. It never ended well for them not because anyone harmed them, but because arrogance always collapses under its own weight. You’re not challenging Yoruba culture; you’re revealing the emptiness in your own.

A man who truly respects his wife does not insult her brothers, her fathers, her uncles, or her lineage. A man who truly values his marriage does not spit on the soil that produced the woman he claims to love. And a man with genuine integrity does not use his marriage as a platform to belittle an entire culture.

You’re not protecting Nigerian women — you’re exploiting them as a stage for your ego.
You’re not challenging injustice — you’re projecting your own bitterness.
You’re not exposing Yoruba men — you’re exposing your own instability.


Every society has boundaries. Every culture has limits. And every guest eventually learns that respect is not optional. You crossed that line the moment you decided your marriage gave you the authority to insult the people who raised your wife.

You’re not dismantling Yoruba tradition.
You’re dismantling your own credibility — loudly, publicly, and without restraint.

A guest who cannot respect the house he entered eventually finds himself standing outside it. And the way you speak shows you’re already halfway there.

Hoodrat:
A man who storms into another people’s culture with insults and superiority isn’t bold he’s exposed. Everything you’ve written shows the same pattern: a guest in a country behaving like an intruder, convinced he has the right to tear down what he doesn’t understand. That isn’t strength; it’s the insecurity of someone who has never been taught boundaries.

You talk like someone who believes he can walk into Africa, disrespect its people, mock its traditions, and still expect to be taken seriously. But all you’ve revealed is how deeply disconnected you are from the land you’re standing on. A person with a stable identity doesn’t need to attack entire communities to feel relevant. A person with a grounded mind doesn’t need to insult families, faiths, or cultures to feel tall. And a person with genuine character doesn’t behave like a cultural vandal in a country that has shown him hospitality.


Your arrogance is not power — it’s a warning sign.
Your disrespect is not intelligence — it’s a lack of self‑control.
Your obsession with fixing people you don’t know is not liberation — it’s intrusion.

History is full of men who walked into other societies believing they were entitled to reshape them. It never ended well for them not because anyone harmed them, but because arrogance always collapses under its own weight. You’re not challenging Yoruba culture; you’re revealing the emptiness in your own.

A man who truly respects his wife does not insult her brothers, her fathers, her uncles, or her lineage. A man who truly values his marriage does not spit on the soil that produced the woman he claims to love. And a man with genuine integrity does not use his marriage as a platform to belittle an entire culture.

You’re not protecting Nigerian women — you’re exploiting them as a stage for your ego.
You’re not challenging injustice — you’re projecting your own bitterness.
You’re not exposing Yoruba men — you’re exposing your own instability.


Every society has boundaries. Every culture has limits. And every guest eventually learns that respect is not optional. You crossed that line the moment you decided your marriage gave you the authority to insult the people who raised your wife.

You’re not dismantling Yoruba tradition.
You’re dismantling your own credibility — loudly, publicly, and without restraint.

A guest who cannot respect the house he entered eventually finds himself standing outside it. And the way you speak shows you’re already halfway there.

And see the clear AI use of a hoodrat that cant debate for himself

Hoodrat:
A man who storms into another people’s culture with insults and superiority isn’t bold he’s exposed. Everything you’ve written shows the same pattern: a guest in a country behaving like an intruder, convinced he has the right to tear down what he doesn’t understand. That isn’t strength; it’s the insecurity of someone who has never been taught boundaries.

You talk like someone who believes he can walk into Africa, disrespect its people, mock its traditions, and still expect to be taken seriously. But all you’ve revealed is how deeply disconnected you are from the land you’re standing on. A person with a stable identity doesn’t need to attack entire communities to feel relevant. A person with a grounded mind doesn’t need to insult families, faiths, or cultures to feel tall. And a person with genuine character doesn’t behave like a cultural vandal in a country that has shown him hospitality.


Your arrogance is not power — it’s a warning sign.
Your disrespect is not intelligence — it’s a lack of self‑control.
Your obsession with fixing people you don’t know is not liberation — it’s intrusion.

History is full of men who walked into other societies believing they were entitled to reshape them. It never ended well for them not because anyone harmed them, but because arrogance always collapses under its own weight. You’re not challenging Yoruba culture; you’re revealing the emptiness in your own.

A man who truly respects his wife does not insult her brothers, her fathers, her uncles, or her lineage. A man who truly values his marriage does not spit on the soil that produced the woman he claims to love. And a man with genuine integrity does not use his marriage as a platform to belittle an entire culture.

You’re not protecting Nigerian women — you’re exploiting them as a stage for your ego.
You’re not challenging injustice — you’re projecting your own bitterness.
You’re not exposing Yoruba men — you’re exposing your own instability.


Every society has boundaries. Every culture has limits. And every guest eventually learns that respect is not optional. You crossed that line the moment you decided your marriage gave you the authority to insult the people who raised your wife.

You’re not dismantling Yoruba tradition.
You’re dismantling your own credibility — loudly, publicly, and without restraint.

A guest who cannot respect the house he entered eventually finds himself standing outside it. And the way you speak shows you’re already halfway there.

😂😂😂😂